so what's the best advice you all can give me on becoming a parent? my wife is due with our first child in march. i won't be around for the birth because i'm leaving for afghanistan in december, but i want to be ready when i get home!
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please share your wisdom :)
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lovesbrightpink
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no advice but that blows that your not going to be their for the birth! I would say call in your mom have your mom help your wife in any way she needs it.
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Macx
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Thanks for your service.
Change diapers. It isn't as big a deal as feeding but it is a pretty significant way of bonding. Specific questions are easier. My daughter turned 1 on the 22nd of Oct, so I am learning too, but have a bit of a head start.
Change diapers. It isn't as big a deal as feeding but it is a pretty significant way of bonding. Specific questions are easier. My daughter turned 1 on the 22nd of Oct, so I am learning too, but have a bit of a head start.
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P
peace in the vally
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You Can Never Give Too Many Hugs And Kisses, And Take Lots Of Pics While They Are Little Because Before You Know It They Are 4 And Act All Grown Up Lol
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illudium_phosdex
Insert witty title here.
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Let him/her know all the time just how proud you are of them. A dad's approval is so important for a child's self esteem.
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Jewellsmom
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Thank you for your service. Make sure she has a support system in place for while you are gone. Whether it be your family, or friends, she will need help. The best advice I can give you for when you get back, is to be a part of every experience. From changing diapers, to playing with your child, be an active participant for the time you are there.
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I'll repeat the 'thank you for the service' 
I'd write a letter to your baby before you leave and explain how you're feeling
When you come back - help in any way (including cleaning ) that you can!
I'd write a letter to your baby before you leave and explain how you're feeling
When you come back - help in any way (including cleaning
) that you can!
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marezee
cheeriokeeper
God bless you for standing up for America! we love you!
tell your wife...God made her the mommy! trust her instincts!!
as for you...like everyone else said...help out around the house, taking care of the little one, etc. give mommy and baby plenty of hugs and kisses! and tell your wife how beautiful she is!
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latebloomer
An Autumn Lutheran Rose
"The best thing you can do for your children is to love their mother." I don't know who said that. Those little ones grow so amazingly fast. Don't go overboard on getting baby things you don't really need because you'll use them only for a year or so. Read to the little one. Maybe you can record yourself reading stories before you leave so your wife can play them back to the baby so Baby will hear Daddy's voice regularly. Then you won't be quite so much the stranger when you come home. You might try getting your scent on something like a baby blanket. I've heard babies can recognize their parents by smell. Changing diapers is one way my husband bonded with our adopted son.
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footprints1973
He is carrying me....
Thanks for serving our country...God Bless You!
My advice is not to be too hard on yourselves (both you and your wife). Don't feel like you are "supposed to" know something by instinct. Somethings you just have to learn through experience. Don't be afraid to ask for help, either...
Laura
My advice is not to be too hard on yourselves (both you and your wife). Don't feel like you are "supposed to" know something by instinct. Somethings you just have to learn through experience. Don't be afraid to ask for help, either...
Laura
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Thank you for your service!
Let the house fall to peices my dear! Just sit and hold that baby. Feed and diaper and hug that baby!
Please be prepared that the baby may not know you at first, but if you just hold, hold, hold, he/she will get to know you and love you before you know it.
My dad left for USAF officer training school when I was 3 months old. When he came back 3 months later, I screamed when he picked me up. It broke his heart. So, he held me like he would never let go and before long I knew that he was one of "my people."
Let the house fall to peices my dear! Just sit and hold that baby. Feed and diaper and hug that baby!
Please be prepared that the baby may not know you at first, but if you just hold, hold, hold, he/she will get to know you and love you before you know it.
My dad left for USAF officer training school when I was 3 months old. When he came back 3 months later, I screamed when he picked me up. It broke his heart. So, he held me like he would never let go and before long I knew that he was one of "my people."
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My children recognized my voice at birth . . . make sure you talk a lot around pregnant wife. Leave (on tape or CD) your voice reading or singing . . . it *may* help baby recognize you when you return.
When you come home, remember that your wife will have things set up "just so" in a way that works for her. Try not to disrupt that too much right at first. Kinda ease into changing things to suit as a family.
Maybe you can set up with a service or people from church some meals for the week after your wife comes home with baby?
Make sure your wife is connected with a military wives' group . . . my sil says it makes a major difference!
Thank you for your service! I hope all goes well. However, writing a letter to baby will make things nice . . . esp. if something goes wrong. Baby will know one day how much it meant to you that you would be a father, and some of the things you think it important for your child to know.
Rachel
When you come home, remember that your wife will have things set up "just so" in a way that works for her. Try not to disrupt that too much right at first. Kinda ease into changing things to suit as a family.
Maybe you can set up with a service or people from church some meals for the week after your wife comes home with baby?
Make sure your wife is connected with a military wives' group . . . my sil says it makes a major difference!
Thank you for your service! I hope all goes well. However, writing a letter to baby will make things nice . . . esp. if something goes wrong. Baby will know one day how much it meant to you that you would be a father, and some of the things you think it important for your child to know.
Rachel
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TexasSky
Senior Veteran
Thank you for your service.
Let your wife know, as often as you can, that you love her. Say the words. Do little things like write letters to her, and put in notes for the baby. Even if the baby is too tiny to understand what her mother is reading. Later they will matter.
Always let the child know that they are a precious, wonderful gift from God. Let them know their father will love them, no matter what mistakes they may make in life. Explain to them that Daddy being angry (and you will be sometimes) never means Daddy doesn't love you anymore.
Establish an individual bond with each child. A "tradition". For instance, when I was little, Saturday mornings were "cartoons with Dad" at my house. We got our cocoa, and our lap throws, and curled up to watch cartoons together. Or an "annual" thing that is just Dad and the child.
Even if you live away from home when they are growing up (career military can do that to a person), you keep that tradition, and you phone or write and say, "Hey, did you watch Bugs Bunny Saturday? I thought of you!"
When the baby is little - while you are away. . . when you first put on your cologne or aftershave or whatever you wear that is scented, get a baby blanket, and rub your scent on it. Send that to your wife. Then your baby will get used to and familiar with Daddy's smell, and your wife will be able to snuggle up to it when you're away. (Or better yet, send your wife one of your shirts to wear and sleep in.)
Let them know your values about God, country and family, and explain WHY you value them.
Let your wife know, as often as you can, that you love her. Say the words. Do little things like write letters to her, and put in notes for the baby. Even if the baby is too tiny to understand what her mother is reading. Later they will matter.
Always let the child know that they are a precious, wonderful gift from God. Let them know their father will love them, no matter what mistakes they may make in life. Explain to them that Daddy being angry (and you will be sometimes) never means Daddy doesn't love you anymore.
Establish an individual bond with each child. A "tradition". For instance, when I was little, Saturday mornings were "cartoons with Dad" at my house. We got our cocoa, and our lap throws, and curled up to watch cartoons together. Or an "annual" thing that is just Dad and the child.
Even if you live away from home when they are growing up (career military can do that to a person), you keep that tradition, and you phone or write and say, "Hey, did you watch Bugs Bunny Saturday? I thought of you!"
When the baby is little - while you are away. . . when you first put on your cologne or aftershave or whatever you wear that is scented, get a baby blanket, and rub your scent on it. Send that to your wife. Then your baby will get used to and familiar with Daddy's smell, and your wife will be able to snuggle up to it when you're away. (Or better yet, send your wife one of your shirts to wear and sleep in.)
Let them know your values about God, country and family, and explain WHY you value them.
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thanks everyone! you all have some great advice that i'm sure will really help me. i think i'm more nervous about becoming a dad than i am about going to war....i just don't wanna mess it up. i'm kinda scared the baby will reject me when i get home, but you guys had some good ideas so i will do what you said. thanks again and anything else any of you want to share is always welcome. i don't get much chance to reply, but i read it and i'm thankful for any advice i receive. God bless and thanks to everyone for your support.
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Hadassah
Well-Known Member
Thank you so much for your service!
My dad was in the Navy when I was born, and went out to sea around the time I was about 2 years old. He was gone for quite a while, so he'd send tapes home for me to listen to, and photos. Mom gave me one that she put in a plastic holder on the fridge and it was mine. I talked to it every night and would talk to it every morning. I knew it was my daddy. We also would watch his super 8 movies, so when dad came home... mom says I looked at the wall (where we watched the movies) and at him, and at the wall and him repeatedly until I realized it was really him and he'd come home.
Watch TV with your little one, and be sure to read him or her stories (In fact, make some up!!), and remember like the others said about your wife's nesting instinct. Don't mess with it so early when you come home -- that's one of the top most 'off putting' things for a new mommy. You get things just so, so it's easy to find things just where you need them, and suddenly it's out of place. (hehe)
Trust your gut. If someone feels creepy or out of place, odds are -- they are.
Love and shepherd your child. You don't get do-overs.
My dad was in the Navy when I was born, and went out to sea around the time I was about 2 years old. He was gone for quite a while, so he'd send tapes home for me to listen to, and photos. Mom gave me one that she put in a plastic holder on the fridge and it was mine. I talked to it every night and would talk to it every morning. I knew it was my daddy. We also would watch his super 8 movies, so when dad came home... mom says I looked at the wall (where we watched the movies) and at him, and at the wall and him repeatedly until I realized it was really him and he'd come home.
Watch TV with your little one, and be sure to read him or her stories (In fact, make some up!!), and remember like the others said about your wife's nesting instinct. Don't mess with it so early when you come home -- that's one of the top most 'off putting' things for a new mommy. You get things just so, so it's easy to find things just where you need them, and suddenly it's out of place. (hehe)
Trust your gut. If someone feels creepy or out of place, odds are -- they are.
Love and shepherd your child. You don't get do-overs.
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thank you hadassah. that's some great advise...i appreciate it very much. i can't believe the baby is going to be here in 2 months. everything seems to be going smoothly by what my wife said in her letters, so that's good. just wish i could be there...
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RedTulipMom
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Thanks for your service to this country, we really appreciate you fighting so we can stay free!
As far as being a daddy goes. Spend time with your child. hug them, cuddle them, praise them, read to them. They are only little once, when you get home try to enjoy every moment! take lots of pics and videos..the time goes so quickly and you'll want those memories some day.
As far as being a daddy goes. Spend time with your child. hug them, cuddle them, praise them, read to them. They are only little once, when you get home try to enjoy every moment! take lots of pics and videos..the time goes so quickly and you'll want those memories some day.
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