Please pray

[Inagony]

Please pray for me. I’ve never been normal. Even as a child, I never knew how to be a normal person. I was not a carefree child with child like innocence. Oh I hurt to the core. I suppose I was full of pride even then. What’s wrong with me? I never understood salvation & I formed a God of my own making. I feel so lost, so alone. I want Jesus to heal me, but I honestly feel like I’m vessel fit for destruction. I don’t have real emotions. But this pain inside is unbearable. I want to be normal, I want to have normal emotions. I know that I must be responsible but I don’t understand why I couldn’t understand, I don’t know why why I am what I am. I’m so sorry that I’m an abomination to God, I don’t want to be. I feel like Esau. Please please pray that God will grant me repentance.

 

[PoppyB]

Please pray for me. I’ve never been normal. Even as a child, I never knew how to be a normal person. I was not a carefree child with child like innocence. Oh I hurt to the core. I suppose I was full of pride even then. What’s wrong with me? I never understood salvation & I formed a God of my own making. I feel so lost, so alone. I want Jesus to heal me, but I honestly feel like I’m vessel fit for destruction. I don’t have real emotions. But this pain inside is unbearable. I want to be normal, I want to have normal emotions. I know that I must be responsible but I don’t understand why I couldn’t understand, I don’t know why why I am what I am. I’m so sorry that I’m an abomination to God, I don’t want to be. I feel like Esau. Please please pray that God will grant me repentance.

Is your pain physical? Do you understand salvation now? Have you asked Jesus into your life? If you ask God for forgiveness he will forgive you but you need to forgive others too. Do you have unforgiveness in your heart? Message me if you want to talk privately. I hop you get some answers and some relief.

 

[Halbhh]

Please pray for me. I’ve never been normal. Even as a child, I never knew how to be a normal person. I was not a carefree child with child like innocence. Oh I hurt to the core. I suppose I was full of pride even then. What’s wrong with me? I never understood salvation & I formed a God of my own making. I feel so lost, so alone. I want Jesus to heal me, but I honestly feel like I’m vessel fit for destruction. I don’t have real emotions. But this pain inside is unbearable. I want to be normal, I want to have normal emotions. I know that I must be responsible but I don’t understand why I couldn’t understand, I don’t know why why I am what I am. I’m so sorry that I’m an abomination to God, I don’t want to be. I feel like Esau. Please please pray that God will grant me repentance.

Instead of the (misapplied against you, and even wrong) doctrines you've heard, you need to listen to Christ and actually do as He says here --

25 At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. 26 Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do.

27“All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

To learn from Him, listen to Him. Let His words comfort you and guide you and take them into your heart, and you will begin to gain what He offers to those that listen to Him.

I suggest you start in Matthew chapter 1 or 3 -- it's ok to start in chapter 3 where He first begins to speak if you know some of the birth story already. Here's a link -- Matthew 1:18 Context: Now the birth of Jesus Christ was like this; for after his mother, Mary, was engaged to Joseph, before they came together, she was found pregnant by the Holy Spirit. (you don't have to really know the descent to Mary and Joseph listed for Jewish readers in the first 17 verses, which for us only become more meaningful after we read in the old testament).

Also, in chapter 6 you will find the prayer He told us to pray. You can pray this with perfect faith it is perfectly aligned to God's will and is for what you most need in life day to day. The words are deeper than we realize at first. Pray with faith. (consider: these words are from Christ Jesus Himself!) I'll pray for you also, but use your chance to begin to listen to His words and gain the comfort you need.

 

[Deborah D]

I pray that you will have the grace to trust Jesus with the pain, release it into His hands, and find relief because "He hath borne our griefs and carried our sorrows."

Isaiah 53:4-5
Surely he hath borne our griefs,
and carried our sorrows:
yet we did esteem him stricken,
smitten of God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions,
he was bruised for our iniquities:
the chastisement of our peace was upon him;
and with his stripes we are healed.

 

[Unofficial Reverand Alex]

I think the Diary of St. Faustina will be a valuable resource for you; it's written by a Polish nun who endures horrible sufferings, and details how it all connects her with Christ's Passion:

THE DIARY OF SAINT SISTER FAUSTINA - Cracow Lagiewniki, Vilnius, Lithuania
https://liturgicalyear.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/divine-mercy-in-my-soul.pdf

The Diary also details Sr. Faustina's conversations with Jesus; she was a mystic who actually heard His voice directly, many times over. Pray for it to help, and I guarantee it will.

May God bless us all through our struggles & victories!

 

[Mydreams]

Lord bless Inagony and this prayer, let Inagony be normal in everything. Please bless Inagony's life and you be glorified, in Jesus loving name, Amen!

 

[LynnSmith]

I’m praying for you. God can heal our emotions. He can heal that hurt. I know from experience. Start reading all you can in His Word on healing. Read about who you are in Christ. Fill yourself with the Truth! And keep praying.