- Aug 6, 2018
- 11
- 16
- 40
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
I'm a 33-year old man who is currently going to college for computer science, with nothing else going for me; I'm working in a low-wage retail job, living with my parents.
I believe that Christianity is true and at one time I used to study and listen to Christian apologetics in my spare time. However, I have trouble following God's commands and have sinned greatly during my life. I'm afraid I'm what Jesus referred to as a seed that heard the gospel but was choked by thorns. I have repeatedly asked for God's forgiveness, but I never make any progress--and I have a habit of putting God on the backburner for other things or people.
Recently, a woman I was with for 3 1/2 years broke up with me. It wasn't a Godly relationship, she wasn't interested in God at all, and I didn't mind because I was happy. I lived with her for 3 years. I thought she was the one and we would sometimes talk about having children together. Well, that all changed because she lost her feelings for me, according to her. That, and she gained some feelings for a coworker of hers. She flirted with and kissed him during our relationship and after she broke up with me, she started a relationship with him. In her defense, I should have treated her better and provided her more attention, but I don't think I deserved that. I'm devastated.
In my pain I cried out for God's help. I've started to go to church and have been trying to read the Bible more. I'm trying to follow God's commands now, but it's difficult. I've been asking the Holy Spirit for help. That being said, I still feel an immense pain because of what happened to me. I can't sleep, I've lost a lot of weight (which is actually good, I was getting a little plump), and I sometimes have suicidal thoughts (that I would never act on, I wouldn't do that). I only mention the last part because I'm trying to convey the level of pain I'm in. I really loved this girl.
Besides the pain, I have a number of things swimming through my mind like will I ever find another woman or if God's plan for me is to be single. I feel like a lot of my self-esteem was derived from being with this woman and now that she's gone, I feel like a complete loser. I'm hoping that if I can make God the center of my life, then all things will fall into place. But it's difficult and alien for me to do that. I'm afraid and in pain.
There are much worse things going on in people's lives right now than lost love, so I'm almost embarrassed to even ask. But if you would pray for me, then I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks.
I believe that Christianity is true and at one time I used to study and listen to Christian apologetics in my spare time. However, I have trouble following God's commands and have sinned greatly during my life. I'm afraid I'm what Jesus referred to as a seed that heard the gospel but was choked by thorns. I have repeatedly asked for God's forgiveness, but I never make any progress--and I have a habit of putting God on the backburner for other things or people.
Recently, a woman I was with for 3 1/2 years broke up with me. It wasn't a Godly relationship, she wasn't interested in God at all, and I didn't mind because I was happy. I lived with her for 3 years. I thought she was the one and we would sometimes talk about having children together. Well, that all changed because she lost her feelings for me, according to her. That, and she gained some feelings for a coworker of hers. She flirted with and kissed him during our relationship and after she broke up with me, she started a relationship with him. In her defense, I should have treated her better and provided her more attention, but I don't think I deserved that. I'm devastated.
In my pain I cried out for God's help. I've started to go to church and have been trying to read the Bible more. I'm trying to follow God's commands now, but it's difficult. I've been asking the Holy Spirit for help. That being said, I still feel an immense pain because of what happened to me. I can't sleep, I've lost a lot of weight (which is actually good, I was getting a little plump), and I sometimes have suicidal thoughts (that I would never act on, I wouldn't do that). I only mention the last part because I'm trying to convey the level of pain I'm in. I really loved this girl.
Besides the pain, I have a number of things swimming through my mind like will I ever find another woman or if God's plan for me is to be single. I feel like a lot of my self-esteem was derived from being with this woman and now that she's gone, I feel like a complete loser. I'm hoping that if I can make God the center of my life, then all things will fall into place. But it's difficult and alien for me to do that. I'm afraid and in pain.
There are much worse things going on in people's lives right now than lost love, so I'm almost embarrassed to even ask. But if you would pray for me, then I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks.
