B
Boomygrrl
Guest
Dear forum Christians,
I ask that you pray for me. I have been hanging out at the apologetics forum for awhile and I feel like the more I ask questions, the more I am slipping and slipping away.
I feel like Christians and non-Christians are truly talking different languages, have such different worldviews, and cannot understand each other anymore.
I am agnostic. I'm not sure if there is a God. I know one thing, I am not a Christian. It just doesn't make any logical sense to me. No matter how much I try to make sense of it, it is full of mystery, faith, and illogical inconsistencies. That, of course, is my point of view.
Here's my struggle. I would love to be a Christian again. I lost my faith. I just cannot accept Christianity. I would love to have that security I felt as a Christian. I would love to have a relationship with God, if he exists. I would love to feel a part of my Christian community (most of my friends are Christian, all of my family is Christian). I wish I could just believe, but I can't.
I started crying, after yet another unsuccessful dead-end discussion in the apologetic forum. I am the type of person that I will keep asking and asking until I get answers. But the more I ask, the more confusion I have.
I am getting to the point of just giving up. Maybe I'm just not meant to be a Christian. Maybe there is no God; or at least not a loving God. Maybe there is just no way of knowing either way. Maybe this is it. Maybe this is the end of my spiritual journey. I am so close to just becoming an atheist. I am so frustrated, so saddened by this, and so angry at God for not helping me with this (if there even is a God).
I'm not looking for a discussion. I've been doing that in the apologetics forum. I am sincerely looking for prayers. If I'm going to convert to Christianity, it's going to take a miracle, at this point. I want to be a Christian on one hand, but my brain won't let me. And I won't abandon my brain. Call it pride. Tell me I'm a bad, evil person if you must. But this is where I"m stuck.
Rational discussion isn't working. So, I feel like all that's left is prayers.
I am debating with myself whether to participate in the apologetics discussions anymore, as it is causing me more grief. I haven't come up with a final decision, but I'm leaning towards just abandoning it all.
Again, I'm just asking for prayers. Don't try to convert me through discussion, because it hasn't worked and will just make me more angry.
Thanks,
Boomygrrl
I ask that you pray for me. I have been hanging out at the apologetics forum for awhile and I feel like the more I ask questions, the more I am slipping and slipping away.
I feel like Christians and non-Christians are truly talking different languages, have such different worldviews, and cannot understand each other anymore.
I am agnostic. I'm not sure if there is a God. I know one thing, I am not a Christian. It just doesn't make any logical sense to me. No matter how much I try to make sense of it, it is full of mystery, faith, and illogical inconsistencies. That, of course, is my point of view.
Here's my struggle. I would love to be a Christian again. I lost my faith. I just cannot accept Christianity. I would love to have that security I felt as a Christian. I would love to have a relationship with God, if he exists. I would love to feel a part of my Christian community (most of my friends are Christian, all of my family is Christian). I wish I could just believe, but I can't.
I started crying, after yet another unsuccessful dead-end discussion in the apologetic forum. I am the type of person that I will keep asking and asking until I get answers. But the more I ask, the more confusion I have.
I am getting to the point of just giving up. Maybe I'm just not meant to be a Christian. Maybe there is no God; or at least not a loving God. Maybe there is just no way of knowing either way. Maybe this is it. Maybe this is the end of my spiritual journey. I am so close to just becoming an atheist. I am so frustrated, so saddened by this, and so angry at God for not helping me with this (if there even is a God).
I'm not looking for a discussion. I've been doing that in the apologetics forum. I am sincerely looking for prayers. If I'm going to convert to Christianity, it's going to take a miracle, at this point. I want to be a Christian on one hand, but my brain won't let me. And I won't abandon my brain. Call it pride. Tell me I'm a bad, evil person if you must. But this is where I"m stuck.
Rational discussion isn't working. So, I feel like all that's left is prayers.
I am debating with myself whether to participate in the apologetics discussions anymore, as it is causing me more grief. I haven't come up with a final decision, but I'm leaning towards just abandoning it all.
Again, I'm just asking for prayers. Don't try to convert me through discussion, because it hasn't worked and will just make me more angry.
Thanks,
Boomygrrl