Please need help and advice!!!!

[Shawb]

Hello
I have felt that my OCD is actually getting worse. But the parts that truly scare me is what is happening to my faith and my mind. It seems that I have a real problem controlling my thoughts and at times wonder if these are my thoughts or the OCD. Last night, I had a thought of rejecting Jesus and it terrified me as I know that's the truly the unpardonable sin. I need help! Every time I pray it feels inauthentic and the guilt is killing me. Am I damned? Can I still come back to God? I know that Jesus is the Son of God and is my savior. Heck, just yesterday I was watching a Jesus cartoon and shedding tears about how awesome my savoir is. How can I go from that to this? I just seem to be getting more confused each day. All I want to do is enjoy life serving God and I prayed everyday that my faith wouldn't fail.

 

[CrystalDragon]

Hello
I have felt that my OCD is actually getting worse. But the parts that truly scare me is what is happening to my faith and my mind. It seems that I have a real problem controlling my thoughts and at times wonder if these are my thoughts or the OCD. Last night, I had a thought of rejecting Jesus and it terrified me as I know that's the truly the unpardonable sin. I need help! Every time I pray it feels inauthentic and the guilt is killing me. Am I damned? Can I still come back to God? I know that Jesus is the Son of God and is my savior. Heck, just yesterday I was watching a Jesus cartoon and shedding tears about how awesome my savoir is. How can I go from that to this? I just seem to be getting more confused each day. All I want to do is enjoy life serving God and I prayed everyday that my faith wouldn't fail.

It's probably just your OCD. I think everyone has harmful thoughts like that sometimes. Relax.

 

[archer75]

Are you getting treatment for your OCD? I'd focus on that right now. I don't believe that God punishes people for stray thoughts or for actual doubt...but I do think that you should take care of yourself.

 

[Shawb]

Are you getting treatment for your OCD? I'd focus on that right now. I don't believe that God punishes people for stray thoughts or for actual doubt...but I do think that you should take care of yourself.

I am taking medication. But I just become so scared of the thoughts. Sometimes I can't tell if its the OCD or me. Ever since my OCD started it has a bad effect on my faith to the point I started questioning it. It would question the very basic fundamentals of the faith, I looked up apologetics which was a tremendous help and satisfied the question. But the doubts somehow persist, I read the bible and devotionals daily and my faith comes back to where it used to be but then the next day it becomes worse. Is there any way to regain the concrete faith I once had?

 

[Sam91]

Live submitted to the Lord and you feel His peace. Once in obedience it becomes easier to obey Him as you have the fruits of the Spirit working in you.

Trust in Him Proverbs 3:5-6

Know who you are in Him and fear nothing. He will work it all out if you give over all fears.

Pray. Praise the Lord. Keep a journal of insights you get from reading, sermons you have heard and just general things. You will soon come to realise how many prayers get answered, how you heard sermons relevant to the next trial u had to face, how the Lord looked after you. You begin to notice what the Lord has done in your life on a greater scale. I forget sometimes the things I prayed for only to discover it had been answered.

 

[Heaven91]

Hello, I know exactly how you feel. For many years I thought I was abnormal I guess you could say. Before bed each night I must check to see that the oven is turned off, set my alarm, and lock the door a total of 3X before I can go to sleep. If I try to make myself not do any of those things my mind goes crazy with racing thought. For example: I feel if I fail to complete any of those task someone I love very deeply will die. I know that is odd... but it's true.

I also have this thing where If I hear someone say Satan even if it's on a movie or whatever. In my head all I can hear is Satan or Satan is my God. Please know I don't like Satan I'm actually very terrified of him. So then I sing the song Jesus loves me a total of 3x them it goes away just like that. I've been to a physiatrist who told me I'm not crazy it's just OCD.

I also have a problem with washing my hands multiple times throughout my day and it's annoying but must be done.

I'm sorry your going through this. But please know your not odd at all. I like to draw to help keep my mind off things. Maybe try to find a hobby of some kind.

 

[Heaven91]

Hello, I know exactly how you feel. For many years I thought I was abnormal I guess you could say. Before bed each night I must check to see that the oven is turned off, set my alarm, and lock the door a total of 3X before I can go to sleep. If I try to make myself not do any of those things my mind goes crazy with racing thought. For example: I feel if I fail to complete any of those task someone I love very deeply will die. I know that is odd... but it's true.

I also have this thing where If I hear someone say Satan even if it's on a movie or whatever. In my head all I can hear is Satan or Satan is my God. Please know I don't like Satan I'm actually very terrified of him. So then I sing the song Jesus loves me a total of 3x them it goes away just like that. I've been to a physiatrist who told me I'm not crazy it's just OCD.

I also have a problem with washing my hands multiple times throughout my day and it's annoying but must be done.

I'm sorry your going through this. But please know your not odd at all. I like to draw to help keep my mind off things. Maybe try to find a hobby of some kind.
Hello, I know exactly how you feel. For many years I thought I was abnormal I guess you could say. Before bed each night I must check to see that the oven is turned off, set my alarm, and lock the door a total of 3X before I can go to sleep. If I try to make myself not do any of those things my mind goes crazy with racing thought. For example: I feel if I fail to complete any of those task someone I love very deeply will die. I know that is odd... but it's true.
I also have this thing where If I hear someone say Satan even if it's on a movie or whatever. In my head all I can hear is Satan or Satan is my God. Please know I don't like Satan I'm actually very terrified of him. So then I sing the song Jesus loves me a total of 3x them it goes away just like that. I've been to a physiatrist who told me I'm not crazy it's just OCD.
I also have a problem with washing my hands multiple times throughout my day and it's annoying but must be done.
I'm sorry your going through this. But please know your not odd at all. I like to draw to help keep my mind off things. Maybe try to find a hobby of some kind.

 

[Heaven91]

Hello, I know exactly how you feel. For many years I thought I was abnormal I guess you could say. Before bed each night I must check to see that the oven is turned off, set my alarm, and lock the door a total of 3X before I can go to sleep. If I try to make myself not do any of those things my mind goes crazy with racing thought. For example: I feel if I fail to complete any of those task someone I love very deeply will die. I know that is odd... but it's true.

I also have this thing where If I hear someone say Satan even if it's on a movie or whatever. In my head all I can hear is Satan or Satan is my God. Please know I don't like Satan I'm actually very terrified of him. So then I sing the song Jesus loves me a total of 3x them it goes away just like that. I've been to a physiatrist who told me I'm not crazy it's just OCD.

I also have a problem with washing my hands multiple times throughout my day and it's annoying but must be done.

I'm sorry your going through this. But please know your not odd at all. I like to draw to help keep my mind off things. Maybe try to find a hobby of some kind.

Oh no! I'm sorry I have no idea why my post ... made multiples of itself. I don't know if I can delete that or not because I am new to this site. Just sorry in advance. LOL

 

[archer75]

Well, my best advice is to continue seeing a doctor and / or counselor for your OCD, and to speak to your pastor or priest about your spiritual concerns.

 

[DeerGlow]

Hello, I know exactly how you feel. For many years I thought I was abnormal I guess you could say. Before bed each night I must check to see that the oven is turned off, set my alarm, and lock the door a total of 3X before I can go to sleep. If I try to make myself not do any of those things my mind goes crazy with racing thought. For example: I feel if I fail to complete any of those task someone I love very deeply will die. I know that is odd... but it's true.

I also have this thing where If I hear someone say Satan even if it's on a movie or whatever. In my head all I can hear is Satan or Satan is my God. Please know I don't like Satan I'm actually very terrified of him. So then I sing the song Jesus loves me a total of 3x them it goes away just like that. I've been to a physiatrist who told me I'm not crazy it's just OCD.

I also have a problem with washing my hands multiple times throughout my day and it's annoying but must be done.

I'm sorry your going through this. But please know your not odd at all. I like to draw to help keep my mind off things. Maybe try to find a hobby of some kind.
Hello, I know exactly how you feel. For many years I thought I was abnormal I guess you could say. Before bed each night I must check to see that the oven is turned off, set my alarm, and lock the door a total of 3X before I can go to sleep. If I try to make myself not do any of those things my mind goes crazy with racing thought. For example: I feel if I fail to complete any of those task someone I love very deeply will die. I know that is odd... but it's true.
I also have this thing where If I hear someone say Satan even if it's on a movie or whatever. In my head all I can hear is Satan or Satan is my God. Please know I don't like Satan I'm actually very terrified of him.

I feel so guilty when I get thoughts like that. Odd compulsions, like having to do some things four times there's no specific fear but it's like I'll mess with my otterbox case it has two layers that can peel off, so I'll pull the outer one out with four pushes and push it back in with four pushes but sometimes it bubbles out so it takes five or six pushes to get back in and aaaaaah. It shouldn't matter but it does.

 

[God is good]

I am taking medication. But I just become so scared of the thoughts. Sometimes I can't tell if its the OCD or me. Ever since my OCD started it has a bad effect on my faith to the point I started questioning it. It would question the very basic fundamentals of the faith, I looked up apologetics which was a tremendous help and satisfied the question. But the doubts somehow persist, I read the bible and devotionals daily and my faith comes back to where it used to be but then the next day it becomes worse. Is there any way to regain the concrete faith I once had?

I have been going through these thoughts for a long time and they are very scary and I sometimes wonder if it's me or ocd but I believe it's ocd. God is good and he loves you so much and he will always be with us. Jesus is Lord, feel free to talk to me anytime, God bless

 

[Shawb]

Thanks guys. Yesterday I tried fasting hoping God will direct me, I felt my faith and belief being restored. But this morning, the doubts came back and I had a thought about giving back my salvation. I jumped out of bed feeling terrible, pray that was just an intrusive thought there is no way I would give up my salvation. Is that even possible? I prayed to God for forgiveness and to disregard it. Am I damned?

 

[DeerGlow]

Thanks guys. Yesterday I tried fasting hoping God will direct me, I felt my faith and belief being restored. But this morning, the doubts came back and I had a thought about giving back my salvation. I jumped out of bed feeling terrible, pray that was just an intrusive thought there is no way I would give up my salvation. Is that even possible? I prayed to God for forgiveness and to disregard it. Am I damned?

I don't think so. You didn't want those words, you told God that, and asked forgiveness.

 

[archer75]

Thanks guys. Yesterday I tried fasting hoping God will direct me, I felt my faith and belief being restored. But this morning, the doubts came back and I had a thought about giving back my salvation. I jumped out of bed feeling terrible, pray that was just an intrusive thought there is no way I would give up my salvation. Is that even possible? I prayed to God for forgiveness and to disregard it. Am I damned?

This is really not the place to get good advice regarding this situation. No one here really understands your OCD or your spiritual condition. Seriously, please talk to your pastor / priest about this.

 

[Sam91]

No. Have confidence in God. He is not willing for you to be lost. Parable of lost sheep. Prodigal son.

Trust in Him and submit to His will. Everytime you fear learn to trust. I pray for you for God to lead you to a bible verse which touches you deep enough to recall when you are troubled.

Mine lately Joshua 1:9
Philippians 4:8 (verses 6 and 7 touched me earlier but I have forgotten them)
Proverbs 3:5-6

 

[archer75]

Thanks guys. Yesterday I tried fasting hoping God will direct me, I felt my faith and belief being restored. But this morning, the doubts came back and I had a thought about giving back my salvation. I jumped out of bed feeling terrible, pray that was just an intrusive thought there is no way I would give up my salvation. Is that even possible? I prayed to God for forgiveness and to disregard it. Am I damned?

This is really not the place to get good advice regarding this situation. No one here really understands your OCD or your spiritual condition. Seriously, please talk to your pastor / priest about this.

 

[Bashmash85]

I suffer from OCD my friend, and what you're going through is called OCD scrupulosity. You hate these thoughts and want them gone out of your head so it's not directly coming from you, it's your OCD. There are many OCD books out there, but I suggest getting the OCD workbook to start. Also, the book overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts is also great to see how the OCD mind works and what you can do to heal. Do not seek the advice of those who do not have OCD or that aren't professional therapists/doctors. People who do not have OCD have no idea what is like and I pray to God they never have to learn. Go to the iocdf.org website to find a qualified OCD therapist to see. Please see someone in your area who is on this site. Most therapists don't understand OCD or how to treat it that aren't on this site. I'd also seek the advice of your pastor/priest/or deacon you feel comfortable talking to. They understand more than you think. Sometimes prayer can become a compulsion when you constantly seek forgiveness for a thought you absolutely didn't want. God knows your heart and although it feels overbearing, he'd never give you more than you can bare. God loves you my friend, be good to yourself and reply back with any questions

 

[Mari17]

Definitely OCD! Don't despair, there are ways to fight it and you CAN feel confident in your faith again! What happens with our OCD brains is that they like to confuse us...to make us doubt what we really think and believe. Often, way deep down, we DO know the truth (e.g. you know you really don't want to reject Jesus) but our brains go on hyper-analytical mode and we start questioning ourselves. I'm glad you're on medication, but in order to create lasting change in your brain you might want to consider CBT and ERP therapy...either with a professional or self-treatment. Basically, the key is doing what you're afraid of - in this case, letting yourself live with the anxiety that you might have rejected Jesus, WITHOUT doing any accompanying compulsions (like praying for forgiveness). It's going to hurt like crazy and elevate your anxiety levels, but if you hang tight and let yourself experience the anxiety, it will eventually go away on its own and your brain will start to see things more clearly (and confidently!) again. There's so much great information out there (and a lot from a Christian perspective, too!). I'll share a couple of my favorite resources below. Please don't put off addressing this with therapy - your life is too important to waste time worrying! (Like I said before, in many cases you can even do therapy on yourself.)
Welcome
http://ocdandchristianity.com/

 

[lamb7]

Sounds like OCD, I too finally had my OCD attack my faith for the first time ever it is horriable. You are fine. Prayers to you friend.