Please Help!

[glandias]

Ok I don't want any agenda driven response that indirectly or directly mean something else, and if you do know what I'm talking about then just don't do it, otherwise I will just not even participate in this forum or any other forum about this very important matter. I don't need anybody to push "issues" on to me, cuz I already have more then enough negative stuff to deal with it in the first place. If this doesn't apply to you, then just ignore the above statement, just going through some very rough and confusing times right now, and just seems like everybody that I know/don't know seems to be doing exactly what I've explained above, and quite frankly am sick and tired of it, and just ticked off that everybody seems to have this united front. (and just to clear things up, in case anybody is under the impression I'm parnanoid or whatever, you try going through what I've gone through my life these past months, and then maybe you would be more humble enough to not blame me for being as pro-active as I am about this, just not into playing other peoples "games")

Ok, getting the disclaimer outta the way here is my question:

My friend, who at one point in his life felt confident about who he was as a person (to a greater extent) and now it appears that he has pretty much lost any self-identity with himself, pretty much feeling embarrased about what's been going on around him, through his actions and speech. Pretty much feels like his whole life has been a fraud, and there isn't anything he can do about it. It feels like he's apparently just an actor about everything that he does. Every action he takes, every kind of comment that he makes (whether he is thinking out loud to himself, or whether he is having a conversation) is apparently an act of some sort, thus making it fake. So here is the question...how can a person become they're REAL self, when they don't know who they're REAL self is, or that is the way it appears to them, instead of the persona of acting/fakeness that he presents even though he still doesn't seem to understand how that is the case, or how he is like that, it just the impression that other people have of him (this being said to him in one form or another) He feels confused and ashamed for what's taken place, and has no clue how to change himself to become this real self so he can end this garbage of acting/fakeness that shouldn't even be there in the first place. He's come to me asking for advice, and he almost seems desperate because everything that he has tried, or thought of hasn't worked at all. PLEASE HAVE THE HEART TO RESPOND!!! He's at a wits end on what to do, and things just seem to be getting worse and worse all the time. PLEASE HELP, and please respond "on-topic" cuz anything else isn't appreciated.

Thank you for addressing this cry for help.

Anon.

 

[andreha]

Ok I don't want any agenda driven response that indirectly or directly mean something else, and if you do know what I'm talking about then just don't do it, otherwise I will just not even participate in this forum or any other forum about this very important matter. I don't need anybody to push "issues" on to me, cuz I already have more then enough negative stuff to deal with it in the first place. If this doesn't apply to you, then just ignore the above statement, just going through some very rough and confusing times right now, and just seems like everybody that I know/don't know seems to be doing exactly what I've explained above, and quite frankly am sick and tired of it, and just [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth]ed off that everybody seems to have this united front. (and just to clear things up, in case anybody is under the impression I'm parnanoid or whatever, you try going through what I've gone through my life these past months, and then maybe you would be more humble enough to not blame me for being as pro-active as I am about this, just not into playing other peoples "games")

Ok, getting the disclaimer outta the way here is my question:

My friend, who at one point in his life felt confident about who he was as a person (to a greater extent) and now it appears that he has pretty much lost any self-identity with himself, pretty much feeling embarrased about what's been going on around him, through his actions and speech. Pretty much feels like his whole life has been a fraud, and there isn't anything he can do about it. It feels like he's apparently just an actor about everything that he does. Every action he takes, every kind of comment that he makes (whether he is thinking out loud to himself, or whether he is having a conversation) is apparently an act of some sort, thus making it fake. So here is the question...how can a person become they're REAL self, when they don't know who they're REAL self is, or that is the way it appears to them, instead of the persona of acting/fakeness that he presents even though he still doesn't seem to understand how that is the case, or how he is like that, it just the impression that other people have of him (this being said to him in one form or another) He feels confused and ashamed for what's taken place, and has no clue how to change himself to become this real self so he can end this garbage of acting/fakeness that shouldn't even be there in the first place. He's come to me asking for advice, and he almost seems desperate because everything that he has tried, or thought of hasn't worked at all. PLEASE HAVE THE HEART TO RESPOND!!! He's at a wits end on what to do, and things just seem to be getting worse and worse all the time. PLEASE HELP, and please respond "on-topic" cuz anything else isn't appreciated.

Thank you for addressing this cry for help.

Anon.

Hey Glandias

I'd like to start off by admitting that I have done some awful things in the past, that covers basically all the commandments, either in my mind or in deed. (I got close to killing someone, but thank the Lord, He restrained me)
I remember wanting to commit suicide a few times in life, but only the Lord got me through that.

The Lord forgave me everything, and He will indeed forgive anyone else, for whatever kind of wrongdoing. I'm nobody to point any fingers, that's for sure. I felt like your friend did earlier in life, and believe your friend is just sufferring from two things. The first, is most probably because people didn't always show him a lot of unconditional love. His desire to be loved must have moved him to try and be different, in order to be loved. The second is most certainly just satan's lies. Satan has a way of criticizing people, and making them feel really bad about themselves. God never does that. He is gentle, kind, and very forgiving. He even forgave me for the demonic practices I was involved in (ignorantly so). So, I firmly believe that this is through no real fault of his own.

The best way for such healing is just calling the Lord Jesus to help. He'll do the rest. I know. I'm a living example of the magnitude of God's awesome grace. Please tell him he is free to PM me if he likes. (I live in a very far off country anyhow, so he should feel quite safe to chat to me. I don't have money for overseas travel anyway.)

I really hope this helps. (You are also most welcome to PM me, if you would like to do so)

*edit*

Actually, if you want, you could relay PM'd messages to him, so you'll be sure that he will get real helpful advice. I really don't mind. It sucks to go through hell and have no-one to talk to...

 

[Jemila]

The very best advice I can give is for you to help him get his eyes and thoughts off of himself, and onto Jesus. I have lived that, I know this is the best solution possible. God will take care of him, will fix what needs to be fixed, heal what needs to be healed.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Tell him he is what he does. If he behave selfish or selfless or good or bad he is. The good part is he can change to be whatever he wants to be simply by being.

 

[glandias]

Hey Glandias

I'd like to start off by admitting that I have done some awful things in the past, that covers basically all the commandments, either in my mind or in deed. (I got close to killing someone, but thank the Lord, He restrained me)
I remember wanting to commit suicide a few times in life, but only the Lord got me through that.

The Lord forgave me everything, and He will indeed forgive anyone else, for whatever kind of wrongdoing. I'm nobody to point any fingers, that's for sure. I , and believe your friend is just sufferring from two things. The first, is most probably because people didn't always show him a lot of unconditional love. His desire to be loved must have moved him to try and be different, in order to be loved. The second is most certainly just satan's lies. Satan has a way of criticizing people, and making them feel really bad about themselves. God never does that. He is gentle, kind, and very forgiving. He even forgave me for the demonic practices I was involved in (ignorantly so). So, I firmly believe that this is through no real fault of his own.

The best way for such healing is just calling the Lord Jesus to help. He'll do the rest. I know. I'm a living example of the magnitude of God's awesome grace. Please tell him he is free to PM me if he likes. (I live in a very far off country anyhow, so he should feel quite safe to chat to me. I don't have money for overseas travel anyway.)

I really hope this helps. (You are also most welcome to PM me, if you would like to do so)

*edit*

Actually, if you want, you could relay PM'd messages to him, so you'll be sure that he will get real helpful advice. I really don't mind. It sucks to go through hell and have no-one to talk to...

Thanks for your reply...

How exactly did you "felt like your friend did earlier in life" since you make no mention of how a persons's acting/fakeness, can somehow be changed to be his REAL self, when he can't even identify with his REAL self in the first place. So the rest of your dribble (sorry if that may of been offensive, it's just I'm slightly pessemestic with where you are going with this, and also it is off-topic, since it seems like your fishing around to what the root of the problem is, where that could not possible be the case of what is being asked here) doesn't apply here. I fail to see the connection between unconditional love = satan's lies = demonic practicies, somehow = acting/faking out the person you believe to be yourself, when it isn't really yourself.

 

[glandias]

"The very best advice I can give is for you to help him get his eyes and thoughts off of himself, and onto Jesus. I have lived that, I know this is the best solution possible. God will take care of him, will fix what needs to be fixed, heal what needs to be healed."

Thanks for your reply...

The question was how can a person become they're REAL self, when they don't know who they're REAL self is, or that is the way it appears to them, instead of the persona of acting/fakeness that he presents. He only becomes self-aware of his actions, because of the continues barrage of criticism stating that he is indeed acting. So if every single action, speech/conversation is an act, then you need to turn to yourself to find out how you can be your REAL self in the first place. Otherwise how can you turn to Jesus & God, and present yourself, if all it is an act (and that's presuming that it is the case, because everything else you do is apparently an act) you need to be REAL with Jesus & God in the first place.

 

[visionary]

It sounds like a mental disassociation condition.. in which he has disassociated in his mind away from himself... til even he can not recognise the real him. I would suggest get counselling... it could be a lithium deficiency.

 

[glandias]

"Tell him he is what he does. If he behave selfish or selfless or good or bad he is. The good part is he can change to be whatever he wants to be simply by being."

This is third time, that this has nothing to do with how a person can find his REAL self, so he can be that self, insteada of the fake/act persona that he presents in life. You know what? I'm fed up with the responses on here, and pretty much expected this was how this was going to turn out. It's good to say that someone can "simply by being" but what is being asked here is how can you be being, when you don't know how you can "be being" in the first place? You have lost all contact with your real self, the self that you beleive to be you all along, instead of this false persona that you present yourself to other people.

If anybody could PLEASE answer this question, otherwise I came here for no good reason at all.

 

[visionary]

Is this friend you... are you ok? Are you feeling disconnected with us? I hear a lot of hurt, fear, anger, and yet not responding to any answers you get.. as if you can not relate to what we have commented on so far.

 

[LilLamb219]

Obviously the OP expected something more than what is given...but the answers given are wonderful Christ-focused answers. He is our answer.

If we want to better ourselves, we turn to Him. He does the changing. I'm sorry if you don't like those types of answers, but this is a Christian Advice forum so I don't know what you expected.

 

[glandias]

"It sounds like a mental disassociation condition.. in which he has disassociated in his mind away from himself... til even he can not recognise the real him. I would suggest get counselling... it could be a lithium deficiency."

Thank god you don't work in the medical community. No one should have to feed your ignorance about mental illnesses, how they are generally misdiagnosed, and how good people have their lives ruined because of it. (seeing this first hand with a number of people that I know)

So to help *heal* your misconceived notions of mental disorders/illnesses why don't you go here (ya, considering your response you would rather remain in the dark anyways) furriousseasons dot com why don't you see first hand the ignornace you have about the subject, maybe you'll become enligtened a little.

First of all, the most glaring error in your supposed statement, is the real fact that Lithium (which in the majority of cases is only prescribed to people who have severe cases of bi-polar disorder, and that is even debatable of how *effective* it is) isn't even prescribed for mental disassociation condition and on the off-chance some doctor (and unfortuantly there are to many to count who buy into the lies of Big Pharma) does prescribe black label, then he can pay for his sins. Also how can one have a "lithium deficiency" when lithium isn't even naturally produced by the body anyways. All that lithium is, is a major toxic chemical that literally wipes away all your cognitive abilities, destroyies whatever personality you have as a person, and turns you into a non-functioning zombie. Wouldn't want to wish that on my worst enemy.

Getting back to your whole mental disassocation theory, wouldn't buy that with a grain of salt. My friend, has always been aware of his actions, his thoughts, and his conversations with people as being his own. He was only supposedly made aware of this acting activity by other people's criticism's. His main concern is that what he is doing is an act, (not that he has lost his identity) and even though the thoughts/actions he wishes to present to the world are in his eyes, real, they are still being acted out and thus making them fake.

According to wikipedia this is the definition of dissociation:

Dissociation is an unexpected partial or complete disruption of the normal integration of a person’s conscious or psychological functioning that cannot be easily explained by the person. Dissociation is a mental process that severs a connection to a person's thoughts, memories, feelings, actions, or sense of identity.

This mental process could not of occured because the connection to one's apparent self still exists. These are his own thoughts, memories, feelings, action and apparent sense of identity. He's only presented himself, what has always came naturally to him, nothing like that has changed.

The crisis is those very same thoughts, memories, feelings, actions even though they are coming from the only apparent real self, are presented as act and again thus making it fake.

 

[visionary]

Many people do not realize that lithium itself is not a drug, but is instead a naturally occurring mineral salt like potassium, and is something which everyone needs for proper mental and physical health.

The kinds of lithium which most people have heard about are the pharmaceutical drug forms of lithium, like lithium carbonate and lithium citrate. These drugs are typically prescribed for treatment of mood disorders like bipolar disorder.

Lithium orotate is something very different. It is a special mineral form of lithium which will cross the blood brain barrier. This means that the huge amounts required of the pharmaceutical drug forms of lithium citrate and lithium carbonate in order to effectively treat a condition, are not necessary when using lithium orotate. Instead, only a tiny amount of lithium orotate is needed, as 97% of it gets where it actually needs to go.

Lithium orotate, on the other hand, is completely non-toxic, very safe in all respects, has no side effects, and is effective for an estimated 70% to 80% of individuals who try it. Because of the small amounts of lithium in lithium orotate, which still effectively treats many different conditions, it is available as an over-the-counter mineral supplement.

In addition, lithium orotate is a mineral which can be helpful for anyone to take. It protects the brain in a number of important ways. It has also been recently discovered that the mineral lithium can actually restore and increase the gray matter in the brain (source of intelligence) which nothing else known to date can do. In addition, taking small amounts of lithium orotate provides anti-aging benefits to the brain, as well as protecting the brain from numerous toxins, and more.

http://mysite.verizon.net/res003jh/lithium-orotate/

 

[glandias]

This still doesn't prove anything about "lithium deficiency" since as I stated before it ISN't a naturally occuring chemical compound found in ones brain. It maybe "natural", it maybe a salt (most drugs come in salt form for better absorption) but if it isn't something that god intended to be there in the first place, that isn't needed at all in this case since we aren't here to diagnosis a non-existent mental condition, then why would anyone want to put it into their body. we are here to get some good advice on how to display your real self (the one you thought you had all along) and how to not act out what you are trying to convey, so that your own thought/actions/speech are consistent to your real self.

To poke some holes into lithium orotate, let's look at some alternative opinions (prehaps facts) first lets go here en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lithium_orotate according to this reliable website, the one you presented seemed to be fairly biased about lithium orotate, instead of having a more balanced approach to it. Also if you are going to make a statement, then you need to be able to cite your sources of this information, otherwise at best, it's just an opinion of what you think is correct. Next time, it would be better if you give your own opinion/statement on the matter instead of just copying and pasting something off of a website, and then claiming it as fact.

As wikipedia states, at higher does it is indeed TOXIC, not like what your website said stating that it was NON-TOXIC. Let common sense prevail here, and you would have to agree that there is nothing that is "completely non-toxic" in the world, at some level it can indeed be the case (try drinking gallons of water, and see what happens to your body) especially something that is biodegradable in your body. Getting back to the established toxicity that can be achieved, it is consistent to what other forms of lithium would be at higher doses. Also, why don't you go find someone who truely is manic depressive (that is defined that there is concrete evidence they suffer from a depressive cycle which is followed by a maniac cycle) and ask them what lithium does to them, ask them the ill-effects that they get from it.

Just because it's marketed as a dietary supplement, doesn't mean it's safe. All that it means is that it is unregulated, and can be given out like candy to whoever wants it. If you look back in history, there once was this natural stimulant called ephedra which was a dietary supplement, and what happenned to it? It got pulled from the market, and why? Because it was discovered that it can cause seizures, heart attacks and goodness knows what else.

Since there hasn't been many scientific studies done on this drug, (considering proper, independent scientific research as the accepted standard to determine the eligibility of any drugs) there needs to be more research into this drug to be able to get more facts, instead of biased opinions.

One of the studies that has been done on this controversial drug, shows that isn't flushed out of the body very well, which could lead to kidney damage. Is it worth damaging your kidney's just so you can "feel better"??

Also one of the most important things, is that regardless as to what element is attached to it, simply put lithium is just lithium, it's called lithium ion. There isn't one lithium is better than another policy. All that means is that you can have different therapeutic dosages depending on the blood brain barrier.

"Therapeutically useful amounts of lithium are only slightly lower than toxic amounts when lithium carbonate or lithium citrate are used, so the blood levels of lithium must be carefully monitored during treatment."

This only confirms that indeed this is how lithium (all forms of it) is administered therapetuically, which only highlights how dangerous this drug (like pretty much all drugs that pschiatrists prescribe) actually is. Again, as I've stated in a previous post, if you are so convinced lithium is what the world needs to make everybody better, you go out yourself, and you do a study. I want you to go interview people who have been diagnosed with a mental illness that is currently being prescribed lithium, and ask them how the life have dramatically improved, how the side effects are, see how their new lifestyle is. Love to see the results.

So to summarize what was being discussed here.

1. Lithium is very much a drug, in all it's forms is a very dangerous drug. (didn't mention it it also allows you to have unnecessary weight gain, which could be dangerous to your health) Sure some people might benefit from it (just not for my friend, nor would he want to risk his life with something that wouldn't benefit him in any sort of way) , but the tendency is that the negative side effects FAR outway any potenential benefit.

2. It does cause kidney damage. (you want anecedotal evidence of this go here: furiousseasons.com/archives/2007/10/lithium_increases_lifespans.html *read the comments section*


3. Why would you want to introduce something foreign into your brain, that is proven to be toxic, could potentially have serious irreversable effects (such as [permanent/temporary] impaired cognitive abilities), and not to mention messes your brain chemistry up.

The only reason this was posted here was to educate people of the ignorance they have about pharmacopia, in particular prescription drugs issued by psychatrists, and how this common myth of taking a pill will somehow make it better, needs to be dispelled. There are way safer non-drug alternatives. Goto furiousseasons dot com and take a look around there, then maybe your eyes will be enlightened

And with that I want to end this posting, as popping pills isn't the solution to this particular problem. As far as I'm concerned, that was way off-topic, and isn't a viable solution to being able to express oneself, instead of acting it out, to be able to present ones REAL self as it is (the thoughts/ideas are true, it's just the acting part that is the problem) I guess I morphed the situation of my friend a little from what it was in the beginning, but further clarification of what it is, serves it's purpose.

 

[visionary]

Lithium is a naturally occurring mineral similar to sodium and potassium. Small amounts are present in most foods. Large amounts are used in the treatment of manic depression —also called bipolar disorder. The Wayne State team was studying lithium's effects on manic depression when they discovered that this remarkable mineral can protect brain cells from premature death. In their Oct. 7, 2000 paper, they reported that lithium may even cause brain cells to regenerate after a loss from disease. 1. Gregory J. Moore, Joseph M. Bebchuk, Ian B. Wilds, Guang Chen, and Husseini K. Manji, Lithium-Induced Increase in Human Brain Grey Matter, The Lancet, Oct. 7, 2000, vol. 356, pp. 1241-1242.

 

[visionary]

Two proteins are key to lithium's neuroprotective benefits. Bcl-2 (named for the B-cell lymphoma/ leukemia-2 gene) protects brain cells from a variety of injuries, including chemical oxidants and ionizing radiation. Lithium is the first substance shown to increase the concentrations of Bcl-2 in brain tissue.

 

[visionary]

There is growing evidence that lithium may be an essential mineral in the human diet. Animals on low-lithium diets have shown reproductive problems, shorter life spans, poor lipid metabolism, and behavioral abnormalities.

M. Anke, W. Arnhold, B. Groppel, and U. Krause, The Biological Importance of Lithium, In: Lithium in Biology and Medicine, ed. G. N. Schrauzer and K. F. Klippel, VCH Verlagsgesellschaft, Weinheim, New York, pp. 147-167, 1991.

H. Klemfuss and G. N. Schrauzer, Effects of Nutritional Lithium Deficiency on Behavior in Rats, Biol. Trace Element Res. 48, 131-139, 1995.

A. I. Fleishman, P. H. Lenz, and M. L. Bierenbaum, Effect of Lithium upon Lipid Metabolism in Rats, Journal of Nutrition, 104, 1242-1254, 1974

In epidemiological studies of humans, low levels of lithium in drinking water have been correlated with a higher incidence of mental hospital admissions,

E. B. Dawson, The Relationship of Tap Water and Physiological Levels of Lithium to Mental Hospital Admission and Homicide in Texas. In: Lithium in Biology and Medicine, ed. G. N. Schrauzer and K. F. Klippel, VCH Verlagsgesellschaft, Weinheim, New York, pp. 147-167, 1991.

Violent crime, suicide, drug addiction,

G. N. Schrauzer and K. P. Shrestha, Lithium in Drinking Water and the Incidences of Crimes, Suicides, and Arrests Related to Drug Addictions, Biol. Trace Element Res. 25, pp. 105-113, 1990.


and heart disease.

P. Blachly, Lithium Content of Drinking Water and Ischemic Heart Disease, New England Journal of Medicine 281, 682, 1969.


Lithium levels in the scalp hair of violent criminals and heart disease patients have been found to be lower than those in healthy volunteers.

G. N. Schrauzer, K. P. Shrestha, and M. F. Flores-Arce, Lithium in Scalp Hair of Adults, Students, and Violent Criminals, Biol. Trace Element Res. 34, 161-176, 1992.

The amount of lithium in a normal diet varies considerably. Dietary intakes of lithium reported are in the literature. These values should be considered approximate, since different researchers give different answers.

 

[glandias]

Again, this is way off-topic. I'm not asking about the health benefits of taking lithium (sure I could go around copy and paste a few studies showing the negative effects, and look like a hero) what difference does it make? It's irrelevant to what was asked in the first place.

Not only that, you fail to even present an opinion about what it is that you are posting, which means you neglect your duty as a poster to show the significance of what you posted to what else was posted prior to that indicating how if anything it isn't what my friend was looking for in the first place, why he wasn't looking for it, and how it has NOTHING to do with what he asked for. Again, he is looking for a non-drug alternative, since this is detailing a non-existent mental illness, which therefore has no place, no scope for pursuing any form of drugs (nor is it warranted). He knows that what he is trying to convey is real, the thoughts/ideas it's just how does he do it without it coming across as an act, thus making it fake. That is what the purpose/intent of what is being asked here.

 

[andreha]

Well, it starts to sound if your friend is being unfairly judged and criticized by someone. The very act of criticizing is ungodly. So, the influence that is brought over him by this criticizing person could very well be the root cause. If he was fine before, then he needs change. Change such as getting far away from whoever tries to mess him up like that, by criticizing and judging. Real Godly people would encourage him, not try and uproot him like that.

Let the one who criticizes him take a long hard look at Mat 7:1, and take time to soak it up, I say.

 

[DreamsAreFree]

Without knowing specifics, it is very hard to comment in the way you would like. From what you have written it sounds like your friend has made himself to be what those around him would like him to be and wants to get away from this and just be who he is. Is that right? If so, I would suggest that he thinks about what he enjoys, his hobbies, what kind of media he enjoys, etc. Also, what does he want to do in life jobwise and what does he have to do to do it? Those things are part of who he is at the most basic level. Once he has established those, he could join some clubs or groups related to those things, go and study, etc. Through those things he will meet people who relate to his real self and won't feel the need to put on an act.

In the extreme case, sometimes a complete fresh start is needed to get away from a situation and start fresh but I think it's important to remember that if moving, changing churches, jobs, etc that we take ourselves with us so if it's something internal, making a fresh start won't necessarily change the problem and enable us to step out in a new way.

I think it's also important that your friend accept that not everyone will like him but that doesn't mean that he should change himself or pretend to be different things to different people ... is your friend a people pleaser? That can be difficult to maintain.

I don't know if any of this addresses any issues at all ... like I said, not enough specific information. It would be better to sit down and work out the specifics and then work through them to make a plan of action for your friend to release him from the current situation and free him to be who he is.

 

[Jemila]

"The very best advice I can give is for you to help him get his eyes and thoughts off of himself, and onto Jesus. I have lived that, I know this is the best solution possible. God will take care of him, will fix what needs to be fixed, heal what needs to be healed."

Thanks for your reply...

The question was how can a person become they're REAL self, when they don't know who they're REAL self is, or that is the way it appears to them, instead of the persona of acting/fakeness that he presents. He only becomes self-aware of his actions, because of the continues barrage of criticism stating that he is indeed acting. So if every single action, speech/conversation is an act, then you need to turn to yourself to find out how you can be your REAL self in the first place. Otherwise how can you turn to Jesus & God, and present yourself, if all it is an act (and that's presuming that it is the case, because everything else you do is apparently an act) you need to be REAL with Jesus & God in the first place.

God never tells us to be self aware, or fix our own problems.

He tells us to fix our eyes upon Jesus.