Testimony_______________________________________
It was one of those dreary Saturday mornings when the sun just wouldn't come out. I had been up early, and I was feeling depressed. I'd say one thing to my husband, and then another. Sometimes he'd respond. He was trying to read the paper, and I was trying to put the kitchen back together after the night before. There was nothing remarkable about that morning, except that the Lord spoke to me.
He spoke into my heart in that still small voice. He asked me to start labeling everything I said that morning as either positive or negative. Just that. I wondered, but decided to obey. So for the next two hours I started listening to myself. Negative, negative, negative. Everything I said was negative. It was then I noticed that every time I made a negative statement or observation, my dear spouse's shoulders would slump down a bit further. He was listening, and it was affecting him, too.
I began repenting. I asked the Lord to forgive me for being so negative. I decided to start throwing in some positive statements. I realized that this was something I would have to work on.
As I prayed for further understanding, the Lord showed me something that I still think about today. When I spoke so negatively, I was releasing a negative confession spiritually. A dark atmosphere came over my home, something you couldn't see naturally, but that was definitely there spiritually. It looked like dark clouds, darker than anything outside. The Lord took me to the book of Proverbs and asked me to keep track of scripture about speech. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit, Proverbs 18:21 said. There were many others. I began pondering how the tongue could bless or curse, and thought about the scripture in Proverbs 14:1 where it says, The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands." Would I build my house, using positive speech, blessing my husband and children? Or would I pull them down with my negative words?
It was a battle, my old self didn't want to obey. But for the next six months I kept track of my speech, asking myself the question, was that positive or negative? Then the Lord spoke to me again and gave me a further challenge that I'm still trying to master today. He asked me to start labeling my thoughts. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks, Jesus told us in Matthew 12:34. I needed to catch those thoughts before they came out of my mouth. And I needed to be more vigilant about what kind of stuff was going into my heart. This is still a challenge!
But I learned, and am still learning. As Christians, we have tremendous power with our words. A parent can break a child or build them up, just by words. A mother can color her family's whole day, just by her attitude and words. She is the heart of the home. She can make a difference to everyone.
and the struggles ive had in myself. Im currently having counselling at the moment and want some help in this area. As my self-esteem has been 0 this year. 
