Please help...

[Chang05]

At the moment, I am finding my situation unbearable to live with! I am a devout Christian going to church every Sunday and reading my Bible every night and praying, yet I am struggling severely with my sexuality. I have known for a long time that I have some kind of homosexual instincts within me, but I have always kidded myself that I haven't, but now these instincts have hit me hard and I don't want to live with them! I want to have a normal sexuality where I can find the opposite sex attractive and fall in love with them, but at this moment in time, I cannot. Plus, I do not want to consult in my parents as I do not want of my close family to know . Please give me your advice below and please help!

 

[Cristiano]

At the moment, I am finding my situation unbearable to live with! I am a devout Christian going to church every Sunday and reading my Bible every night and praying, yet I am struggling severely with my sexuality. I have known for a long time that I have some kind of homosexual instincts within me, but I have always kidded myself that I haven't, but now these instincts have hit me hard and I don't want to live with them! I want to have a normal sexuality where I can find the opposite sex attractive and fall in love with them, but at this moment in time, I cannot. Plus, I do not want to consult in my parents as I do not want of my close family to know . Please give me your advice below and please help!

Chang
Hey, I know it's hard when you start coming to grips that you are attracted to the same sex. Once you realize that, you can begin a healing process. It may take your whole life, it may not. The important thing to realize is that God loves you. Realize that you shouldn't define yourself through your sexuality because then you are defining yourself through your flesh. As christians, we need to define ourselves through our SPIRIT. In Christ, all these other things fade away. Love transcends everything, so don't ever doubt that you can love a woman and marry and have children. Consider yourself lucky that you don't objectify women like most men in our world do and you will appreciate your future wife for everything she is, not just for her sex appeal. Keep your head up.

 

[ascribe2thelord]

Deny and repress them for ever ... take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.

 

[Brother_Justin]

If I am hungry I eat. This doesn't deffine me by my flesh it is instinct it is what I do to live. Sexuality isn't something we can controll. This can be shown through science easily enough. God gave us a great thing when he gave us sexuality. We should not so quickly throw it away.

Homosexual Christians excist. Infact homosexual Christians are all around and some of them are GREAT followers of the cross.

You are NATURAL!!! I didn't wake up this mourning and just decide I was going to be attracted to my girlfriend did I? Well should I deny my attraction to her then? No absolutly not! I explore a Christ like relationship with her and I persue Christ through our relationship. There is such an awfull negative stigma tacked on to all homosexuals that is just simply not fair! Homosexuality wasn't even an orientation durring the writting of the Bible. No where in the Bible does God tell me I must throw ALL the human feelings and emotions he has given me to the curb. No I should thank God for those feeling and should thank him for those experences. It is uncalled for for straight ppl to tell homosexuals that their feelings aren't natural. They are natural. It isnt right for straight ppl to tell homosexuals to throw their feelings to the curb. I dont see straight people throwing their basic insticts and attractions to the curb! No man your natural and your not weird. Your loved your created JUST right by the hands of God and you should embrace that and understand God loves you!! I hope this is a well articulated counter point to the anti homosexual theorys that you will hear on here !!


Love brother ~Justin~ <><

 

[mebby02]

l know this is hard its hard for me too you can get through this l really hope you do l'm sure you will. l would talk to your pastor or a counsellor that would be your best bet l hope everything works out sorry l'm not much help

 

[wblastyn]

Deny and repress them for ever ... take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.

Please do not listen to the quoted advice - repressing your feelings leads to misery and pathology (inc depression, anxiety and possibly suicide).

You are not the only person who has been through this, so you are not alone, some people have even spent years in "therapy" trying to change, while praying night and day, yet nothing happens - sexual orientation cannot be changed.

Realise you are fine the way you are and eventually learn to accept yourself. You will be much happier and fulfilled as a result. But it is very difficult, you will face prejudice from people and will probably be told you are going to hell for the "sinful lifestyle which you have chosen" - do not listen to these messages of hate, Jesus preached love!

 

[he_is_risen!!]

Okay, listen I am only a year older then you and I understand completely. See I have fought against homosexual feelings for about 4 years with the last 2 being the worst. And in that time I can tell you that there were times that I didn't keep those feelings under control and those are some of the darkest times in my life. Okay, listen, I believe that homosexuality is wrong and from my experiance it is sinnful and wrong. So I wouldn't say accept it cause then from there satan can use that acceptance to gain further footholds in your life as he did w/ me. But you also can not ignore or repress it because it's something that has to be confronted.

I held in my struggle for a long time and it nearly destroyed me. My struggle came from being called gay, *** ect. from having a false image of what a man is, not being confident in myself and there are other factors but these are three that I think are the main reasons. First, I let the opinions of others get to me. ANd it's hard to not be affected unless you have a good self image and are confident in yourself. Then there was the fact that I believed the worlds lies that a man has to play sports, be all over girls and basically be the big macho man. I am not any of those so from the perspective of the other people out there I was different and to some gay.

What I would segest is to one, find a guy that you really trust. For me it is my youth pastor and small group leader. Talk to them and ask them if they could hold you accountable and if you could talk about your struggle w/ them. It's very hard to do, but I have grown SO much as a Christian and I have been able to fight and win against sin. Basically find another guy that you trust, tell him and then try and forge strong close friendships w/ them.

Lastly, pray, read the Bible and really try and let others know cause they can help and by simply opening up to someone face to face, you can grow SO much.

Casey Psalm 55:22

 

[Diane_Windsor]

Chang05,

Even if you are not Roman Catholic Courage might be a good resource for you. Bear in mind that God might be calling you to live a live of celibacy.

DIANE

 

[Marie D]

If I am hungry I eat. This doesn't deffine me by my flesh it is instinct it is what I do to live. Sexuality isn't something we can controll. This can be shown through science easily enough. God gave us a great thing when he gave us sexuality. We should not so quickly throw it away.
<><

I don't agree. We need to eat, in moderation. In excess, it's the sin of gluttony. We don't need sexuality. In moderation, as proscribed by God (within marriage, one man and one woman), it's acceptable and has the potential to be great through the creation of new lives.

And we definitely can control sexuality. Satan temps all of us with sexual thoughts that it would be sinful to act on... we're being tested to see if our faith is stronger than our carnal urges. I'm not saying that sexuality isn't natural - of course it is, but so is desire for food, which can also have a bad expression as gluttony if uncontrolled.

I don't believe in calling someone 'homosexual', especially if all they're doing is admitting to being aware of temptations to sin. If they fight those bad thoughts, or even if they sin then truly repent, God will love and forgive them. Calling someone homosexual is like admitting they're too weak to win the battle, they're lost souls.

 

[Marie D]

Please do not listen to the quoted advice - repressing your feelings leads to misery and pathology (inc depression, anxiety and possibly suicide).

You are not the only person who has been through this, so you are not alone, some people have even spent years in "therapy" trying to change, while praying night and day, yet nothing happens - sexual orientation cannot be changed.

Realise you are fine the way you are and eventually learn to accept yourself. You will be much happier and fulfilled as a result. But it is very difficult, you will face prejudice from people and will probably be told you are going to hell for the "sinful lifestyle which you have chosen" - do not listen to these messages of hate, Jesus preached love!

You wrote that sexual orientation can't be changed. Around Christmas there was a similar thread to this, about a person who had been tempted by homosexual thoughts and may even have acted on them, and a young woman replied to say that she had been a practising lesbian when she was young, then she met a man who loved her and through Christ's love she beat off those temptations and was now happily married (and may also have had children).

Some people were doubtful but after a while her husband, who is also a member here, posted the loveliest message I've ever seen here, about how much he loves his wife, how blessed he feels he is that God helped him find her, how her past bad life (which also involved drugs) was linked to some bad things that happened in her childhood... basically they came across as the happiest and most Godly couple you could ever wish to know. So I do believe a person's sexual orientation can be changed.

I agree that Jesus preached love, and that he loved sinners. However, he didn't preach that people should sin...

 

[Chajara]

This may well be your cross to bear. You have things to learn from this, so don't despair over it. Embrace it, accept it, and mold it into a reason to live for Christ. He's not going to give you something you can't handle, so make it your mission to figure out just what you can learn and how bearing this cross can make you a better person.

Good luck

 

[Mr.Cheese]

This is so beyond my knowledge of experience that I can't begin to know what to say to help. But I know that Jesus loves you and always will. Keep that thought always in your mind.

 

[Saucy]

If you give Satan an inch, he'll take a mile. Right now, he's just trying to take that inch from you. Sexual attraction to a person of the same sex is perversion. Sorry to have to be blunt about it...but it's true. God calls it perversion. It's no different than someone who's sexually attracted to children or other perversions. I'm not putting YOU in that category, i'm just saying that satan uses sexual perversion to trip up others and there are varying degrees of perversion. Satan is the father of lies and he'll tell you that you're attracted to people of the same sex, that you can't be attracted to the opposite sex and to give in a little because it's who you are. But it's not who you are. God didn't create us to be Adam and Steve. Maybe you should take some kind of counseling with a pastor or someone godly to discuss this and whenever those feelings arise, rebuke satan. Tell him he's a liar.

 

[ascribe2thelord]

Realise you are fine the way you are and eventually learn to accept yourself. You will be much happier and fulfilled as a result. But it is very difficult, you will face prejudice from people and will probably be told you are going to hell for the "sinful lifestyle which you have chosen" - do not listen to these messages of hate, Jesus preached love!

A new love called tolerance and affirmation, specifically, of sin. That's definitely not what he preached.

I meant to say that when you are a teenager, your perception of your sexuality can be altered by those around you very easily. What are you calling these homosexual instincts? Unless you are actually enjoying the thought of "laying with a man like a man lays with a woman," then you are not affected by homosexuality. Sometimes feelings of inadequacy (which many guys have) can mask as this. It's easy to accept the popular explanation.

Let me just say that a lot of men who have grown up searching for a good male role model, and come up short, find themselves trapped in the world of homosexualist lies and deceit. I've read some of their testimonies. When queer activists put their blinders on you, teaching you that the Bible doesn't mean what it says, to accept yourself (rather than accepting Christ's Lordship over your life), you will literally feel trapped ... until you get out of it.

Let's let the original poster talk for a while. Why do you think you have homosexual "instincts"? We need an explanation from you directly so that the pro-gay pouncers won't immediately jump on you as another example of "prejudice" and "judgment."

 

[dalej42]

As you may learn through your spiritual journey, many people and churches have various opinions and interpretations on homosexuality. Many, many churches are open and welcoming to people of all sexual orientations.My LGBT church considers everyone to be a child of God and welcomes everyone, regardless of sexual orientation. We're blessed by our members and even more by our visitors.

Perhaps attending an inclusive service might help you think.