Please Help!

[BeLikeChrist]

Since I was a very small child I was gay and I dont remember ever making that decision to be. I've wanted to change since 5th grade but I havent been able to. I am really shy and I am to afraid to tell anyone. Please help me. I really want to be on the right track with God.

 

[madison1101]

Check out www.HarvestUSA.org

God bless you in your desire to be obedient to God.

Hugs,
Trish

 

[Mebby01]

well just pray to God and talk to him about this if this is a problem never be afraid to talk about it. I know l suffer from a eating disorder l never told people now l do and l feel better now. Or there is support groups check online or in your phone book l have never been to one but it might help you. Good luck and God bless you

 

[Cristiano]

Since I was a very small child I was gay and I dont remember ever making that decision to be. I've wanted to change since 5th grade but I havent been able to. I am really shy and I am to afraid to tell anyone. Please help me. I really want to be on the right track with God.

Here is a copy of part of a PM I sent to anothe brother here. I hope it would be an encouragement to you as well.

I didn't realize I would call myself "gay" (I always hesitated to go that far!) until I got to college and there were all the good-looking guys around. I realized, wait a sec, my thought was just "Wow, that guy was hot." Needless to say it was a rough semester figuring out who I was and what God was doing in my life. Plus, being in a new environment and a new Christian, I had lots to figure out. Up until I came to Christian forums, I had never confessed it to anyone or admitted it really to myself.

So, long story short, this is what God has taught me and I will use Scripture to back it up (always take advice you get and apply it to Scripture to see if it holds water, okay?). Anyway, there are two scriptures that I like, that demonstrate where I am at in life.

Philippians 4:13 "I can everything through him who gives me strength."

First of all, it is important to believe and understand that God CAN change you. He has the power and we need to believe that. We can do ALL things. Now, here's the kicker and please don't let this discourage you brother. He may not CHOOSE to change you in the short run, long run or until we meet him in heaven. Here is why:

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (THIS IS MY FAVORITE VERSE--IT EXEMPLIFIES MY STRUGGLE PERFECTLY)

"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why for, Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

I pray that these words would be a comfort to you. I'm sure, like me, you have pleaded with God as tears run down your face "Change me, I don't want this! Being gay is not in your plan, change me!" Paul did the same thing! That is what is awesome. Paul had a "thorn" too that tormented him and God chose to leave it there. Once you can realize that God CAN change you, but that it is HIS will and not OURS, you might begin to take the first steps in "dealing" with this struggle of being attracted to guys.

See, God has the power to change you, but he also knows the perfect plan for your life, where HE is most glorified. That plan may include having a thorn in your side that torments you your whole life like Paul. But he rejoiced because through that weakness, God's power was even more glorified. So deep down, are we wanting to change to make our life easier for US, or are we desiring God to sanctify us in HIS way? Are we saying, "God, I can't carry this burden of being attracted to men my whole life." And you know what God would say most likely, "Cast your burdens on me and I will help you carry your load. For in your weakness you are strong, and I am glorified. My grace is sufficient for you."

Some people will be completely "healed" from this struggle, and others like me up to this point, are left with the challenge of gaining dominion over our struggle. Once we have gained dominion over it, it will no longer be a predominant struggle in our lives. God bless. PM me if you want to talk more.
God bless.

 

[marianservant]

Since I was a very small child I was gay and I dont remember ever making that decision to be. I've wanted to change since 5th grade but I havent been able to. I am really shy and I am to afraid to tell anyone. Please help me. I really want to be on the right track with God.

Okay, I really wanted to respond to this and I'm glad I got to this thread early...

First things first, welcome and GOD BLESS!!! I am struggling with this too and God is leading me through all the darkness jsut as he promised he would....now a disclaimer lol, what I am about to say is MY OPINION, remember that, don't equate me with Gospel or some Dogma ok?

Okay to start out you mention that you never made the decision to be gay, well honey of COURSE you didn't!!! I know no one who would choose that life! Many right wing and fundamentalist groups would like to tell you that you choose to be homosexual like you choose to murder someone or tell a lie, okay that's simply not true. Science, history, stories, and personal experience all disprove it. You NEVER chose your sexuality, it was dealt to you, the question is...what to do with the life you were dealt...

First off you must never loose your connection with Jesus. No matter what you think, do, people tell you or how you feel, NEVER be without him. Family friends, church memebers, even the entire sentient world may hate you or reject you but God is love...and that's an absolute statement.

Now, onto the doctrine and scriptures and dogmas...now, firstly, believe JESUS, and your HEART, do not change yourself or hurt yourself emotionally or do some drastic "therapy" which will probably be a pseudo-cure, just because some whacko tells you to. Do what is right with YOU! Read the word, and REALLY read it, get into it, if a part confuses you pray about it first, then seek guidance. NEVER allow someone to look and you and say that "this verse says your evil!!!" ok dearie?

Now when it comes to the whoppers used against homosexuality (Leviticus, Romans 1) read them yourself, and do some research, the web is an ok place, intelligent Christian friends and adults (sane ones mind you) etc. They're a lot of INTELLIGENT and quite amazing discussions out there on just a few verses. Pray over everyhting, never allow someone to tell you what you believe or what Christ is telling you.

If after all this you feel homosexuality is evil and that you cannot live your life with Chrsit as a gay christian than you simply have celibacy, which to many is a blessing from God. Now there are a lot of people out there who say that you can become "un-gay" or that you can learn to be straight. Well dearie, they're wrong...read up and research, the majority of the people who come out of the programs go abck to their gay thinking and a lot fo the ones that attempt marriage divorce and even, on extreme levels, commit suicide. All reputable Psychologist and Psychiatrists and the major organizations representign them all say that "ex-gay ministries" are potentially EXTREMELY harmful on a person.

So what to do? Sounds hopeless...hell or abstinence, well it isn't so wretched. I will not tell you to accept your homosexuality or to do away with it, but I will tell you to heed yourself and Christ. Do not hate yourself, never think of yourself as dirty or nasty or sinful, think of yourself as one of God's creations, his child and his beloved being. God is love, all love flows through him. Accept that and you will go leaps and bounds in any subject you struggle in.

P.S. When you see someone say "Hate the sin, not the sinner" RUN, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!! lol JK, something to lighten up my post

GOD BLESS YOU!!! PM me with ANY problems or quesitons or for links to helpful sites etc.

 

[KTskater]

Here is a copy of part of a PM I sent to anothe brother here. I hope it would be an encouragement to you as well.

I didn't realize I would call myself "gay" (I always hesitated to go that far!) until I got to college and there were all the good-looking guys around. I realized, wait a sec, my thought was just "Wow, that guy was hot." Needless to say it was a rough semester figuring out who I was and what God was doing in my life. Plus, being in a new environment and a new Christian, I had lots to figure out. Up until I came to Christian forums, I had never confessed it to anyone or admitted it really to myself.

So, long story short, this is what God has taught me and I will use Scripture to back it up (always take advice you get and apply it to Scripture to see if it holds water, okay?). Anyway, there are two scriptures that I like, that demonstrate where I am at in life.

Philippians 4:13 "I can everything through him who gives me strength."

First of all, it is important to believe and understand that God CAN change you. He has the power and we need to believe that. We can do ALL things. Now, here's the kicker and please don't let this discourage you brother. He may not CHOOSE to change you in the short run, long run or until we meet him in heaven. Here is why:

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (THIS IS MY FAVORITE VERSE--IT EXEMPLIFIES MY STRUGGLE PERFECTLY)

"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why for, Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

I pray that these words would be a comfort to you. I'm sure, like me, you have pleaded with God as tears run down your face "Change me, I don't want this! Being gay is not in your plan, change me!" Paul did the same thing! That is what is awesome. Paul had a "thorn" too that tormented him and God chose to leave it there. Once you can realize that God CAN change you, but that it is HIS will and not OURS, you might begin to take the first steps in "dealing" with this struggle of being attracted to guys.

See, God has the power to change you, but he also knows the perfect plan for your life, where HE is most glorified. That plan may include having a thorn in your side that torments you your whole life like Paul. But he rejoiced because through that weakness, God's power was even more glorified. So deep down, are we wanting to change to make our life easier for US, or are we desiring God to sanctify us in HIS way? Are we saying, "God, I can't carry this burden of being attracted to men my whole life." And you know what God would say most likely, "Cast your burdens on me and I will help you carry your load. For in your weakness you are strong, and I am glorified. My grace is sufficient for you."

Some people will be completely "healed" from this struggle, and others like me up to this point, are left with the challenge of gaining dominion over our struggle. Once we have gained dominion over it, it will no longer be a predominant struggle in our lives. God bless. PM me if you want to talk more.
God bless.

Prase God for allowing you to be such a wonderful witness! You encouraged me in the process.
May your blessings over flow out of your cup.

 

[Steve J.]

Now there are a lot of people out there who say that you can become "un-gay" or that you can learn to be straight. Well dearie, they're wrong...read up and research, the majority of the people who come out of the programs go abck to their gay thinking and a lot fo the ones that attempt marriage divorce and even, on extreme levels, commit suicide. All reputable Psychologist and Psychiatrists and the major organizations representign them all say that "ex-gay ministries" are potentially EXTREMELY harmful on a person.

I mean no disrepect and please no one take my comments as an affront but I must speak.

The best place to do research is the Word. It is written, "I can do all things through Him who stegthens me". Based on this and the whole of the scripture it is certain and without doubt that a person can turn from sin (any sin including homosexuality), repent, be forgiven, and lead a life pleasing to God full of joy and promise. He makes all things new! I am living proof! Praise be to God!

Will there be struggles? Will it take time? Sure. But "He that has begun a good work in you is faithful and true to complete it". Lean on Him!

"Reputable psychologist and psychiatrists"? Reputable according to the world or according to God? If they teach anything contrary to the Word then they are liars.

"Major organizations"? Who cares what they think. God says otherwise.

 

[jezic]

no it is possible to loose the homosexual orientation.

The biggest thing is to remember a few things. The attraction itself is not wrong. Acting on it constitutes something that is gravely disordered (it acts against the very nature of creation in that man was made for woman and the possibility of life is closed). Therefore, the actions are wrong, however the attraction isn't.

If you are in the midst of a gay relationship, really try to work on breaking the cycle and getting out of it for now.

Jesus loves you regardless of whether you call yourself homosexually attracted or not. He still forgives your sins when you are sorry for committing them.

Homosexually attracted people are called to the same type of chastity of thought and action that heterosexually attracted people are. They can and should gradually approach Christian perfection.

The way to overcome it, if you feel you need to, is to continually focus on Jesus. Love him, pray to him, talk to him. Try to live the same type of life that Jesus talks about in the gospels. In this way, the focus is properly oriented to Christ, and if you keep that focus, that is the best you can do.

I hope that you make it through this.

 

[he_is_risen!!]

Hey listen I knwo what your going through cause I struggle w/ homosexuality too. I have for too long and it's hard to fight. But you gotta remember that if you pray for help the Lord will send it. It might just take a little time.

I prayed that the Lord would send me help and ytou know what, it wasn't untill a year later that I got the help that I had prayed for. I had been given, by Him, a little help here and there and I believe that it was getting me ready for the major help that he was sending. See, about the same time I started being tempted, I began going to a new church. See satan knew that I was a threat and that this church would help me to grow as a believer, so he started to tempt me to try and keep me from growing. But I fought back w/ as much as I could and the more I fought it, the more I came to rely on the Lord. cause see, when I would be tempted I realized that I had to use Him to keep from being overwhelmed.

It wasn't till about a year, year and a half later that I was give the answer to my prayer. What happened was that my youth pastor found out about it and confronted me. I was SO embarressed, but inspite of that I was confronted and I was given someone to talk to and draw strength from. Well we talked and he segested that I start talking to this counsilor and I did. It helped.

and it was through that that I was given the tools that I needed to help to defeat that sin. I mean I'm no longer seeing the guy, cause of schedualing and other stuff, but the Lord gave me tools to use to fight the temptations. And the combined w/ reading and really getting into the Word has helped me like no other. I'm very close to defeating it, but I still struggle w/ it dispite all the progress that I've made. See satan will attack you the moment that you become a threat to him, and for that I take praide. Praide in the fact that this big bad guy is threated by what the Lord can do w/ me and that gives me strength. We all are here to serve God and that's the last thing satan wants. remember that the Lord will help you if you truely search and pray for it. And then have patience cause the Lord will do everything on his timetable and we gotta have faith that it's all for the best. And whenever you have struggles or problems come here and I know that we'll all pray for you and do what we can to help.

Anything I can do let me know. Casey
Psalm 55:22Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.