Please help

[Swoosh]

Hello all,

Every other time ive posted on CF, it has usually been with happiness and joy that I write. This time, however, I write to you in tears begging on my knees for your help.

My girlfriend of two and a half years just broke up with me. She did this yesterday out of nowhere, it seemed. I had gone over to her house to talk about how our lives were changing for the better. To my surprise, after I was done talking, she laid it on me. Two and a half years flashed before my eyes and *poof* just like that they were gone.

I gave my life to this girl, and loved her with my whole heart. I still love her, and will always love her! I cannot stop thinking about her. For the past 24 hours I have not left the phones unattended, waiting for her call. Well the call finally came about an hour ago, and I have just composed myself enough to type.

I know that she is under a LOT of stress right now with her family, work, school, and cheerleading. Apparently I was on that stress list too, and I was the first egg that she tossed out of the basket. All I want is to help her, but she tells me she cannot handle a relationship right now. But how can two and a half years mean nothing?! Why was I the first thing to go?!

I have never felt worse in my life. It's like someone took a knife and stabbed me in the chest 500000000 times, and is standing over me with an expressionless face. I feel that she doesn't love me, but after giving her my everything, I cannot stop loving her.

She's going out with a friend to get her mind off me (which are her words). Is there anything more painfull that you can tell a person after they have given up years of their life to you?

I can't stop crying. I can't eat. I can't sleep. (The only way I got sleep last night was taking some 'Simply Sleep' pills at about 5:30am after waiting for her call last night). I feel so horrible. I don't know what to do.

My parents tell me that things happen for a reason, but right now I don't see that reason. Everything was going well; her and I would talk about getting married, and imagine those days. Where did all those hopes go? If I were to ever get married, it would be to this girl. I have not, could not, feel this way about anyone else after everything that I shared with her.

Please help! Make the pain go away...

-Swoosh

 

[Victrixa]

I don't know what to say now Swoosh. I know it hurts terribly. I just want to offer you a huge hug and many prayers.

 

[Glorianna]

I'm so sorry Swoosh. I wish I could make the pain and hurt go away, but I cannot. It is only through time and God's help that this will happen. Focus on Him in this difficult time in your life. I know it's hard but He's still in control. Trust Him. I am praying for you.

 

[InnerPhyre]

Bro my heart goes out to you. I've been right in that spot you're in. Before I decided to give my entire life to God, I was engaged. I bought her a ring. She had a dress. We had a church and a date set. It ended in disaster. Nothing on earth feels worse. I'm not going to say all the stupid things that everyone always says about "There are other fish in the sea". You've already heard these things I'm sure. All I can tell you is that the pain goes away, but not right away. You will suffer for a while now, and it's important that you not waste that pain. The only thing that kept me going during that rough time (after a 4 year relationship ended) was immersing myself in love for the Eucharist and trying to sort out God's will for my life. For me, the ending of that relationship opened up the door to the priesthood. God makes all things new. Give your pain and your suffering to Him. Unite it to the pain He felt on the cross. Give it to the Blessed Mother and unite it to her suffering at seeing her Son killed. Suffer with Christ and the suffering will become bearable until God makes his will known to you. God bless you, bro. I'll be praying.

 

[ukok]

Swoosh, i am so very sorry that you are suffering so greatly, i genuinely wish that i could give you a big sisterly right now!

I will be praying for you

I know that the pain you are experiencing feel's unbearable, but God will give you the grace to endure it...it is often in our darkest hours that our faith increases as we have to rely on the Lord so heavily, just to find the will to get out of bed in the morning.

I am so sad for you, i wish that i could do more.

God Bless you and comfort you at your time of immense suffering.

 

[Swoosh]

Thank you everyone for your words of support. They mean a lot to me right now. I am grateful for my friend in South Carolina that I can talk to on the phone as well. He has been a great help too.

Thank you again everyone. I really need the prayers and hugs!

-Swoosh

 

[ukok]

more prayers and hug's



..i'm limited to how many smilies i can post , or you'd have a page full !

God Bless.

 

[Wolseley]

We all go through it, Swoosh.

I have never felt worse in my life. It's like someone took a knife and stabbed me in the chest 500000000 times

I remember when I broke up with a girlfriend of two years---or rather, she broke up with me; I spent every night for a couple weeks sitting in the dark in my car, arms wrapped around the steering wheel, crying because it felt like there was about a six-inch hole in the middle of my chest.

I realize now that it was a dysfunctional relationship and that she wasn't good for me; but I couldn't see that then. I didn't have much experience with relationships, and I was pretty naive.

In time, it stopped hurting. I didn't get over it entirely for a year, at least. But after I joined the Air Force and went through some experiences that were hair-raising, to say the least (there's nothing quite like being shot at to clear the mind wonderfully), I got the perspective to see the experience for the relatively minor episode that it was.

I'm not saying that any of this applies to you, but merely to let you know that we all go through it, sooner or later, and usually we come out stronger for it. My advice? Pray a lot, don't let it snowball on you, don't make any drastic decisions, and ride it out. You might not think so, but in a few weeks, you are going to hurt a lot, lot less than you do right now; and you'll look back on this as a purifying experience.

For right now, just roll with the punch, hang on tight, and get through it. You will heal, trust me on this; it'll just take a little bit of time.

I can't stop crying. I can't eat. I can't sleep. (The only way I got sleep last night was taking some 'Simply Sleep' pills at about 5:30am after waiting for her call last night). I feel so horrible. I don't know what to do.

You don't need to stop crying. It's probably better for you right now than any thing else, so cry. Cry until it doersn't hurt any more. Your appetite will return eventually as well; don't worry about it. As for sleep, you will sleep, eventually. Nobody has ever died from lack of sleep. Your body takes over, and off to dreamland you will go, no matter how bad you feel, trust me.

As for what to do about it, nothing. You can't do anything about it, as callous as that sounds; all you can do is hang on tight for the ride, and cry until you can't cry any more. It will stop hurting so much about the same general time.

I'm praying for you, bro. Don't let this make you bitter, either, by the way. The world is full of wonderful women, and they are not all out to stab you in the back, although it might seem like it right now. It might be a good time to step back and take some time off, until you're actually dealing with women, and not girls, with all of the problems that girls tend to bring into the situation.

She's in a growing phase, too; and someday she'll look back and wince because she will realize how much she hurt you, but for now, you both probably need to do some maturing before you're ready for any serious interaction with the opposite sex.

Hang in there. It does get better.

 

[epiclesis]

ouch. i've never had the experience but i can only imagine how it feels. and for you....

my dad has always said this, and it's very true... "time will take care of everything"... it'll take time, but you'll be okay and everything will work out...

 

[jdjr]

Hi Swoosh:

I really feel for you man. The exact same thing happened to me, and I suspect a lot of guys. We will all let you know that it does get better. Sometimes it takes a lot of time. I felt better after a few months, but it took me over 20yrs to finally learn why it happened.
I wish that I could talk to you and show you everything that I learned, it was a real journey of discovery. I used to think that my situation was unique and that no one would understand, unfortunately during my time no one wanted to understand, or was able to help me. I later found that my situation was all too common, with a common explanation and cure. If you want to talk, I'd be happy to, but if not, I know your feelings right now and you need time to grieve, first. You are feeling the same as if you experienced the death of your spouse

You are in my prayers

jd

 

[thereselittleflower]

I wish there was something I could say to take the pain away . . . . But there isn't . . the pain of deep loss is deep, the herat is left deeply wounded, raw, open and bleeding . . you can feel it, you can see it . . you wonder how it can ever be healed . . .but it can and it will be . . . and only time can heal this pain . . . this is true and not simply saying something to say it . . . Time and God's Grace are the only healers of the pain you feel right now . ..


no matter what happens in the future, the love you feel for her will never go away . . you will always have it . . but it will be changed . . it will become bitter sweet if you never get back together with her . . .

The experience I am speaking of is not from the loss of a relationship of the type of love you have experienced, but from the loss of my baby boy 16 years ago yesterday . . the pain of loss like this is deep, and so I can see in some way into your heart as I look into my own and I weep for you.


Let Jesus, who knows the pain of ultimate betrayal and rejection, wrap His arms around you and comfort you . . . As simplistic as this sounds, just spend time with Jesus before the blessed sacrament and just sit there in His presence and let Him minister His love and peace into your heart . . it will help.



Peace in Him!

 

[ZooMom]

Oh, Swoosh. I'm so sorry for your pain. Everyone has already said all the right things, so I won't say them again. What I will say is to hope that you will find forgiveness for this young lady soon. You will heal so much faster if you can do that, even if you don't yet understand her reasons. Pray for her. Know that I am praying for you and with you, for healing, for peace. May God bless and keep you. May our Lady comfort you. And may our Lord, Jesus Christ, strengthen and sustain you.


Here's your hugs.



Peace be with you!

Sandy

 

[Swoosh]

Thank you again for the support, everyone.

Let Jesus, who knows the pain of ultimate betrayal and rejection, wrap His arms around you and comfort you . . .

You know, I realized something tonight at dinner (my family took me out heh..). I looked down at my keychain, and saw the familiar decoration with a carving in it. It reads "Gods Love Is Unfailing". Until this moment in my life, I never understood that. It's the heart of the Gospels, what we were all taught in Sunday School growing up. I guess until I experienced a "failing love" I never got it through my thick head. I knew the legalistics, that Jesus had to die for sins, that prayer is union with God, what Transubstantiation is... but the heart of the Gospels were lost to me. I always thought "so what, God loves me, great... now what?". But thats it. God loves me, and will ALWAYS love me, completely, wholely, infinitely, forever. I thought that my desire for love could be satisfied on Earth, so I never thought deeply about God loving me. But now, I find it is what my soul desires most; to be loved infinitely. Its funny because just yesterday, I was reading on the stages of mental prayer, and the higher levels are closer and closer to being in union with God. He loves me, and my soul aches for Him now.

Although, perhaps I am delusional. lol But I really believe in God's love now, more than ever before.

Thank you, everyone.



-Swoosh

 

[Ann M]

Swoosh,

This may sound strange, but thank your ex for her consideration in breaking things off with you. As you have stated she is under alot of pressuer with many different things in her life at the moment, and she has obviously had to make hard choices. I these cases there are limited choices that can be made. Things like family, work and school are normally 'not negoitable'. It seems to me that she may have taken a look at what is going on at the moment, and seen that she does not have the time to devote to your relationshiip that she feels it deserves. Instead of giving you less then you deserve, she has given you her honesty, that at the moment it cannot work. Think of it as a timeout, if you can, a chance for both of you to spend some time apart, to grow, and cope with life's pressures, but with the possibilty of a good friendship and maybe more down the road when life settles down a bit.

I say this because I'm watching the same thing between my stepson and his girlfriend. They have been together for about 4 years, but have recently broken up due to the pressures that finishing senior have placed on his girlfirend. My stepson lives near us and his girlfriend lives 3 hours away, and has ever since he moved here to get work nearly 2 years ago. Now instead of talking every night on the phone, they talk every 2/3 nights, and he doesn't go up and visit every fortnight. He agreed to this because he wants her to be able to achieve her goals, and for that, he knows, sacrifices need to be made.

My heart goes out to you.

 

[Benedicta00]

Swoosh,

I know Pink Angel has to be really going through a bad time right now. Just give her some time. If God wills you to be with her, you will be.

 

[thereselittleflower]

Thank you again for the support, everyone.


You know, I realized something tonight at dinner (my family took me out heh..). I looked down at my keychain, and saw the familiar decoration with a carving in it. It reads "Gods Love Is Unfailing". Until this moment in my life, I never understood that. It's the heart of the Gospels, what we were all taught in Sunday School growing up. I guess until I experienced a "failing love" I never got it through my thick head. I knew the legalistics, that Jesus had to die for sins, that prayer is union with God, what Transubstantiation is... but the heart of the Gospels were lost to me. I always thought "so what, God loves me, great... now what?". But thats it. God loves me, and will ALWAYS love me, completely, wholely, infinitely, forever. I thought that my desire for love could be satisfied on Earth, so I never thought deeply about God loving me. But now, I find it is what my soul desires most; to be loved infinitely. Its funny because just yesterday, I was reading on the stages of mental prayer, and the higher levels are closer and closer to being in union with God. He loves me, and my soul aches for Him now.

Although, perhaps I am delusional. lol But I really believe in God's love now, more than ever before.

Thank you, everyone.



-Swoosh

WOW . . that is all I can say . . is wow! That was a really deep and profound realization to come to so quickly. God bless you swoosh . . God has something tremendous in store for you . .





Peace in Him!

 

[3toraiseup]

((((Swoosh))))

I always thought "so what, God loves me, great... now what?". But thats it. God loves me, and will ALWAYS love me, completely, wholely, infinitely, forever. I thought that my desire for love could be satisfied on Earth, so I never thought deeply about God loving me. But now, I find it is what my soul desires most; to be loved infinitely. Its funny because just yesterday, I was reading on the stages of mental prayer, and the higher levels are closer and closer to being in union with God. He loves me, and my soul aches for Him now.

I believe that we have to experience the bad things in life to truly understand the good. I have been through horribly dark times in my life only to come through and find wonderfully bright times. Sometimes, God allows suffering to show us joy.

 

[Dream]

I'm not going to lie and say "I know how you feel" because I really don't. Regardless, you will be in my prayers. That's really all I can do right now for you.

 

[Rosa Mystica]

Hello all,

Every other time ive posted on CF, it has usually been with happiness and joy that I write. This time, however, I write to you in tears begging on my knees for your help.

My girlfriend of two and a half years just broke up with me. She did this yesterday out of nowhere, it seemed. I had gone over to her house to talk about how our lives were changing for the better. To my surprise, after I was done talking, she laid it on me. Two and a half years flashed before my eyes and *poof* just like that they were gone.

I gave my life to this girl, and loved her with my whole heart. I still love her, and will always love her! I cannot stop thinking about her. For the past 24 hours I have not left the phones unattended, waiting for her call. Well the call finally came about an hour ago, and I have just composed myself enough to type.

I know that she is under a LOT of stress right now with her family, work, school, and cheerleading. Apparently I was on that stress list too, and I was the first egg that she tossed out of the basket. All I want is to help her, but she tells me she cannot handle a relationship right now. But how can two and a half years mean nothing?! Why was I the first thing to go?!

I have never felt worse in my life. It's like someone took a knife and stabbed me in the chest 500000000 times, and is standing over me with an expressionless face. I feel that she doesn't love me, but after giving her my everything, I cannot stop loving her.

She's going out with a friend to get her mind off me (which are her words). Is there anything more painfull that you can tell a person after they have given up years of their life to you?

I can't stop crying. I can't eat. I can't sleep. (The only way I got sleep last night was taking some 'Simply Sleep' pills at about 5:30am after waiting for her call last night). I feel so horrible. I don't know what to do.

My parents tell me that things happen for a reason, but right now I don't see that reason. Everything was going well; her and I would talk about getting married, and imagine those days. Where did all those hopes go? If I were to ever get married, it would be to this girl. I have not, could not, feel this way about anyone else after everything that I shared with her.

Please help! Make the pain go away...

-Swoosh

Swoosh,

A very similar thing has just happened to me (only my relationship was on-again off-again for about half a year- significantly shorter time period than yours). My first love, too. Also, the circumstances surrounding the split were very different from yours. I ended up in hospital today b/c of this whole mess (I fell into deeper depression and self-harmed- way to go, me. ). I sincerely hope it doesn't get to this kind of low point for you.

I know exactly how you feel about having lost your one shot at love. I feel this way myself- that b/c I was so in love w/ my ex, I can't possibly feel this strongly about anyone else. But, I am starting to hope that I am wrong. I sincerely hope so, for my own sake.

Like Shelb5 has said, if it's meant to be, you'll get PinkAngel back. If, for some reason, it's not, then you will find someone else to love (probably not an appealing thought at the moment, though many people change their mind about relationships).

I will pray for you, bro. My PM box is always open, just so you know.

Rosa Mystica

 

[ProCommunioneFacior]

Swoosh,

I will pray for you, bro. May you grow in your relationship with God during this time.