Platonic bed sharing while married.

[Sectio Aurea]

You (and probably her too) miss the unspoken, unacknowledged, sexual aspects of sleeping in the same bed as her.

My old platonic GF and I did have spoken/acknowledged ground rules to our relationship, this I feel is very important. I believe it has something to do with gender, not sex, I could just as easily get the same sort of experience sharing a bed with a lesbian.

 

[quatona]

Is it morally ok for a married man (with permission from his wife) to share a bed platonically with a friend of the opposite sex?

Only if the married man is gay.

Seriously, I think that´s just a matter between you and your wife. If you both find it ok why shouldn´t it be ok?

 

[contango]

Is it morally ok for a married man (with permission from his wife) to share a bed platonically with a friend of the opposite sex?

I'd just ask why you'd want to do such a thing.

I see no reason to share a bed with any woman other than my wife unless something very unusual was going on. If I was travelling and the only way I (or a female friend) was going to get needed accommodation was to share a double room then I guess I'd tolerate it. If it was a life-and-death situation then I'd tolerate it.

Otherwise my view is that your desire for some form of intimacy in a platonic relationship is the kind of thing that could so easily turn into intimacy in a newly sexual relationship it's best to just not go there. Your wife might trust you now but one indiscretion and that trust could be damaged or destroyed.

 

[Ana the Ist]

My old platonic GF and I did have spoken/acknowledged ground rules to our relationship, this I feel is very important. I believe it has something to do with gender, not sex, I could just as easily get the same sort of experience sharing a bed with a lesbian.

You said it felt more like she was "family" than a friend. Would you do this with a sister or mother? (Cuddling included)

 

[earningmywings]

Honestly this thread makes me wonder. Really? All this talk and liberal views and excuses.
It's not NORMAL to have such an intimate relationship with another woman while you are married. You men are full of it. You cannot be just "friends" with another female, and sleeping in a bed with one , pretending it's all kosher and above board is rubbish. The guy is attracted to this woman and any amount of pretending she is just a friend is not the truth in my view. You really think as a married couple , people can go sleeping around in each others beds with the opposite sex friends???? What's wrong with the couch or a mattress etc?
Call a spade a spade and say it like it is. No one who is ever in love and loyal and respectful of their partner would think this is even remotely acceptable . Sheesh! What next, having baths together? LOL.

 

[bhsmte]

Is it morally ok for a married man (with permission from his wife) to share a bed platonically with a friend of the opposite sex?

My question would be; why bother getting married?

 

[quatona]

My question would be; why bother getting married?

You almost make it sound like marriage were solely or mainly about exclusive sex.

 

[Marius27]

What about platonic bed sharing between two male friends, if one is gay and one is straight?

Not sure it matters if you guys are only friends.

 

[Fenny the Fox]

What about platonic bed sharing between two male friends, if one is gay and one is straight?

Not sure it matters if you guys are only friends.

People (both straight and gay alike) consider that weird too. I know, been there done that got the t-shirt, so to speak. lol

 

[Sectio Aurea]

The guy is attracted to this woman and any amount of pretending she is just a friend is not the truth in my view.

Yes I am attracted to her, but not in a sexual way, I'm not pretending she is just a friend, I know she is more than just any friend. We hung out for years before we got engaged to our significant others. She was my best friend in high school, my best "man" at my wedding, I was her best man at her wedding. We have never had sex, (something many of our friends cant believe) haven't shared a bed with each other in about 20 years and dispite sometimes going up to six months without contact we have mantained our close friendship for over 30 years.

 

[Sectio Aurea]

What about those of us who sleep in the buff?

Nooooooo!

Simple, put some PJ's on

 

[Sectio Aurea]

You said it felt more like she was "family" than a friend. Would you do this with a sister or mother? (Cuddling included)

When I was 11 my parents divorced and I would sometimes share my mothers bed with her and sometimes we cuddled up. On rare occasions I would sometimes share a bed with my sister too and cuddled up, however the few times we have shared a bed as adults we avoided touching each other.

 

[Sectio Aurea]

My question would be; why bother getting married?

I married my wife because I love her dearly and want to share the rest of my life with her.

She is "numero uno" in my life!

 

[Sectio Aurea]

I didn't mean physically close. I meant more as result of the emotional depth of the friendship.

IMO I believe it is the shear depth of our emotional friendship that actually rules out the possibility of any physical/sexual attraction between us. We have been close friends for too long for our relationship to become anything other than what it is. I could never have (nor want) the same depth of intimacy with my platonic girlfriend as I enjoy with my wife.

 

[earningmywings]

I appreciate your honesty.
I just think part of really honouring your wife is laying boundaries that give your relationship exclusivity that are just for you and her.
To be open with you, my concern is why on earth would a woman who loves her man and is sexually attracted to him give him permission to "sleep" with another woman, innocent or not. Woman are loyal and territorial creatures, made by God for one on one relationship, something doesn't add up to me
I think you are pushing the boundaries and being disloyal in way
Intimacy in all forms should be exclusive between a married couple, anything else is taking that away, permission or not
And why would a decent woman who respects friendship push a boundary by sleeping with another womans husband? Innocent or not.
This is just my personal view and I do not wish to be disrespectful to you both.
A marriage is not just based on sex but it sure is a solid foundation that God gifted us to enjoy and cherish.
Keep your "friendship" out of the bedroom would be my suggestion and save ALL your intimacy with your wife.
The fact you are asking this question suggests you are not sure if your actions are ok.

 

[MoneyGuy]

Simple, put some PJ's on

I don't own any.

 

[Ana the Ist]

My old platonic GF and I did have spoken/acknowledged ground rules to our relationship, this I feel is very important. I believe it has something to do with gender, not sex, I could just as easily get the same sort of experience sharing a bed with a lesbian.

Uh-huh...so if you two were strictly platonic, why the need to set ground rules in the first place?

 

[Ana the Ist]

When I was 11 my parents divorced and I would sometimes share my mothers bed with her and sometimes we cuddled up. On rare occasions I would sometimes share a bed with my sister too and cuddled up, however the few times we have shared a bed as adults we avoided touching each other.

So the answer is no...you wouldn't cuddle up with them in bed as an adult (assuming they were ok with it)?

 

[CounselorForChrist]

I think whatever our belief differences in this section, we can all agree its a bad idea all around on many levels.

 

[quatona]

I think whatever our belief differences in this section, we can all agree its a bad idea all around on many levels.

No, we can not all agree it is.