"if you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." matt 21:22
"faith is being sure of what you hope for, and certain of what you do not see. & w/out faith, it is impossible to please God." hebrews 11:1,6
"all things are possible to the one who believes." mark 9:23
"have faith in God," Jesus answered. "i tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go throw yourself into the sea, and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he ways will happen, it will be done for him. therefore i tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, blieve that you have received it, & it will be yours. and when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." mark 11:22-26
"dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands & do what pleases him." 1 john 3:21-22
bliz and servant4him, i am sorry for your loss. i am so sorry that you had to know a friend that was murdered. i am sure that because of that, it makes this whole thing all the more personal to you. please, when i say the following, please don't believe that i am telling you that your friends did the right thing to stay. my point is that it is important that the woman do exactly, and i mean exactly, what God needs her to do in this.. because it saves not just him, but her & the children.
this can go both ways. if God calls the woman to stay, and she does, God will only bless that. and God will really expose to the children, in spite of the parents, how faithful and strong he is. how he can and does change anything... and if God calls her to leave, and she doesn't, then the children see that whole situation and really disrespect her. they learn to abuse, and be abused. they learn those ugly patterns... i have an aunt and cousins where the male cousin has grown up to abuse his mother himself. and his grandmother. he's in jail, now.
in my past, i have been a victim of domestic violence. and i am really good about remembering those times, and i am really good at telling others about those times, and yet never admitting to my sin in the whole thing. i didn't admit to pushing his buttons. and sometimes when he wasn't going to react at all, i remember reacting w/panic and fear, to the past. and so while he changed, i refused to admit it. because then i would have to admit that i was in the wrong. i didn't fix my tongue. i didn't change my heart. i was a nag, a harpy, an argumentative. i was truly nasty. and i was nasty in my church w/other members too. i was dissentious, malicious in my home and out. deceitful. you name it. i was it. i bet many of you men on this board, would have thought upon meeting me: someone needs to kick her tail. there is truly something wrong with her." and you would have been correct.
i am not saying that the above sins i did, excuse his actions. they don't. but i had the job of forgiving him. i had the job of believing he would change. i don't believe that every woman should take that job. i believe that is what God called me, only me, to do. the woman has the responsibility of coming to her own convictions. but again, i had the job of changing myself, too. but i didn't. not for awhile.
today?? when i see the above scriptures?? i pray them not only for other people, but for me. call them selfish prayers, i don't care... but it is something i can work at. i can work to achieve.. to take personal responsibility for my actions... and i have provoked in my home...
i don't say, "because of what happened in my home, i think that no one should leave their husband."... that's not my call to make, and who knows who on this board is a victim trying to make excuses to stay, and God is clearly clearly telling them to run for the hills; cuz' this man won't change-this man doesn't care about God, nor his wife.. he cares about the sweetness of the kill.
i have seen that type of person. i have known that type of person. i pray God forgive me, when i sing w/gusto that dixie chicks song "earl had to die" song. you take those words, and you put them into my friends' & family's lives.... they really do walk right thru restraining orders. by the time the police get to the house, the damage is done, and he is literally on the run. it looks funny, the way i have put it, but there is such a huge amount of anger and hatred that rises up in me, when i remember the scenes i would happen to come upon in at least 2 of my friends' & family's lives, when they were being beaten. and then i feel so ashamed and guilty for the anger and hatred i feel. i haven't had to look at these men for years, but they are still a part of my life in some fashion. i can't control that part. one of them is my adopted son's biological grandfather. i cringe at the idea of my son spending even a second alone w/this man...
so it was natural for me to not see the right signs, and be in a violent relationship.. but this person was different. he loved God. he grieved that he was like this. he worked hard to change. and he did. but i have a hard time admitting that. i want to see the past. sometimes i looked at him, and i am not seeing him. i am back 15 years, and i am walking up to the front door of my friend's house, and i am hearing the smacks, the crying, the screaming..
gosh guys.. you guys took me back....
i am digressing...
