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The last few years I've seen some movies that defy that. Mel Gibson, who is infamous for his blood operas, did a film (Hacksaw Ridge) about a combat medic and conscientious objector who doesn't even carry a gun... and he ends up getting the girl.
Desmond T. Doss, however, absolutely displays masculine traits throughout that movie.
Wow, weird stuff. The APA has certainly compromised it's integrity over the years. This statement, , “Psychologists should help boys and men create their own concepts of what it means to be male.” should be telling. Why should they want anyone to "create their own concepts of what it means to be male” when they should be objecting to consigning any concepts to masculinity if they're to be intellectually honest and consistent? In fact, they should view that as the problem from their perspective.A new report on boys and men from the American Psychological Association reminded me, again, why worldview is so important. The report is the first of its kind from the APA, which has previously issued guidelines for girls and women, as well as for so-called “sexual minorities.”
For years now, the APA has been at the forefront of legitimizing progressive gender and sexual ideologies, and this report is in that same vein. To put it mildly, their conclusions are less clinical recommendations than they are naked worldview assertions.
Of course, the report isn’t all false ideologies. It opens, in fact, by recognizing a true and painful reality: Men and boys in America are not doing well. They’re diagnosed with ADHD at twice the rate of girls, they perform worse on standardized tests, they’re suspended and expelled from school at a disproportionate rate. As they get older, men use drugs and alcohol more often. They don’t seek help for mental health issues like depression as frequently as women do. They commit 90 percent of homicides, and make up 77 percent of homicide victims. They account for 93 percent of federal prison inmates and are 3.5 times more likely than women to commit suicide. In fact, male suicides are up more than fifty percent in the U. S. since 1980. We’ve talked of these so-called “deaths by despair” a few times on BreakPoint.
Faced with all of these troubling realities, the APA identifies the problem with men as being “traditional masculinity,” which they define as “anti-femininity, achievement, eschewal of the appearance of weakness, and adventure, risk, and violence.”
That’s not how I define traditional masculinity. Anti-femininity? Violence? That sounds like being a jerk. Reading between the APA’s straw-men and caricatures, it becomes clear what assumptions are really behind the report.
Traditional masculinity, the authors go on to argue, is socially constructed. Real gender is “non-binary,” the report says. In fact, even identifying male sex with masculine gender betrays “heteronormative assumptions.” In other words, masculinity does not objectively exist. It is whatever we make it. The report actually says, “Psychologists should help boys and men create their own concepts of what it means to be male.”
LGBT ideology is taken by the authors of the report as gospel. “It’s no longer just (a) male-female binary,” says one. The report criticizes “individuals with religious affiliations and conservative social and political views, who may equate masculinity with heterosexuality.” These folks, hints the APA, need to be cured of their errant views.
The game here is painfully obvious. This isn’t science, it’s a worldview that sees masculinity as anyone would have defined it just a generation ago as a problem needing to be solved. But as David French writes at the National Review, the APA has it all backward. The real plight of boys and men today coincides with our culture’s rejection of traditional masculinity, not the embrace of it! To say that the answer is to further deconstruct what it means to be a man is ludicrous.
Our society has no fixed categories of what it means to be a man, much less any resources for catechizing the next generation of men.
Rest of the story at link: BreakPoint: Pathologizing Masculinity - Break Point
I'm sorry, OWG, but I actually laughed at this. We have no way of knowing if it's the last days or not, but what I can look back on is 2,000-odd years of Christians, some of whom in every generation were convinced it was the last days. We might well have another 2,000 - or more - to get through yet. And if we aren't going to find it all ending tomorrow, I'd like to do the best I can for the time we have left, you know?
Who says men couldn't have nurturing qualities? Even the 50's common family seems to have that.Times change, and our society changes. We no longer live in an industrial society, much less a patriarchal agrarian society of the Bible. I think we need men now with more nurturing qualities . More Mr. Rogers, less John Wayne.
The only way that you can make someone do something that he doesn't want to do is to make it desirable and a thing of value for him. The probability of divorce makes marriage hardly desirable at all to anyone anymore, except the social activitists who are fine with marriage, as long as it is completely changed into something else than has existed before throughout Western history. Many young people, especially those who are children of divorce, opt out.I think - from what I can see and hear from other women, as well as my own experience - women have a problem with the status quo, but would articulate it in different terms.
You look to a past where the father was "the core" of the family unit; that past had significant problems for women as a whole, and we've sought to correct some of those. That was not, however, an invitation for men to absolve themselves of responsibility; it was an invitation to partnership. The dismay of contemporary women seems to me, to be that too many men, offered a choice between partnering equally with a spouse, or acting like an additional child in the family, will opt for the latter. I've lost count of the number of times I've heard wives and mothers complain that their husbands act as if everything is the mental and emotional responsibility of their wives.
It seems terribly petty. "Oh, you're going to take on an equal role with me in life? Fine then. If I can't be in charge, I'm not interested." And a retreat to the pleasure and irresponsibility you describe so eloquently.
And then these men wake up one day to find they've been divorced because their wives have discerned - quite accurately - that they are better off without someone who doesn't pull his weight, and think that this is somehow all the women's fault. But how do you make someone who doesn't want to, take on responsibility?
OldWiseGuy said:Our culture is falling apart. No amount of 'self-criticism' will change it. It's the last days, we're circling the drain...doomed!
Technically (biblically) the 'last days' began with the advent. Of course the 'end time' is the period including the tribulation (Jacob's Trouble).
I don't think there's one kind of masculinity, its constructed differently depending on the subculture you inhabit.
Who says men couldn't have nurturing qualities? Even the 50's common family seems to have that.
If the last days began with the Advent and includes Pentecost and the preaching of the Gospel to all nations - why is it all doom and gloom then?
The negative bias is evident in your post. If masculinity is what is more robust or tough, women by implication are less robust or tough.
What I observe is that some of our cultural constructions of what it means to be a man are harmful to the men themselves to whom they are applied, to those with whom they are in relationships, and to our society as a whole. (This is also true of some of our cultural constructions of what it means to be a woman, btw). So why not be willing to engage in constructive critique of our own culture?
Because such attempts often come from a feminine perspective that doesn't understand men. There does appear to be a crisis of sorts among American boys, and to say it's unfair to women to investigate that crisis seems to me to miss the point.
With that said, the point may not always be expressed well, so let me give it a go.
The trend in education has been, for a long time, that women dominate teaching. There are multiple studies that show the result is to create classroom environments where girls thrive and boys don't. One such study from many years back is Christina Hoff Somers' The War Against Boys. Since there is also a strong correlation that those who succeed in school succeed after school, that is troubling. IIRC there are also studies showing declining rates of boys going on to college, graduating, placing in the professional work force, etc.
I recall one particular situation where boys who were caught fighting in school were forced to sit in chairs, face each other, hold hands, and share their feelings. The result was an increase in violence, not a decrease. Guys (and often mothers of boys) seem to get why that is an obvious outcome.
So, back to the "tough" thing. Tough is a pretty ambiguous word, but there is good data to indicate things like the average male is stronger and faster than the average female. That's simply the way it is. I do, however, understand your concern with such things. Too often the statistics are misunderstood. Further, they are often interpreted as a value judgement (which was your reaction). Those statistics are taken as: All men are stronger than me and better than me.
That's not what the statistics say. I use tennis as an example. The top female tennis player in the world could beat me without breaking a sweat. That's because neither of us are average. She's an above average tennis player and I'm below average. Statistics do not apply to individuals.
Second, whether strong men are good or bad is a value judgement. It's a cultural thing. I happen to think physical strength is a good thing. But that doesn't lead me to conclude men are better than women. It is true, though, that in some cultures that is the unfortunate result.
Finally, there are areas where women test higher than men. That's the way it is. It doesn't make me feel inferior. Nor do I think it's a good idea to judge individuals based on the averages. In fact, it's improper math. If I'm applying for a job, a scholarship, whatever, the individual needs to be judged on his or her individual capabilities.
So, bottom line, in many areas that people think of as "tough" men test higher. Not all areas, but many. That's the way it is. It would be nice, though, if we could get past being offended by that and move to helping boys who are failing.
Coming from a guy writing this. Firstly, boys are taught early in life to hide their feminine side and that any feminine traits will see them bullied. This reinforces the notion femininity (women) is a weakness and a step down from masculinity. Men feel compelled then to teach these behaviours or fear persecution from other men while internally wishing they could enjoy some of the freedom’s women have, such as to express emotion freely and be around children without being thought of as a potential sex predator. Many men fear what other men think and won’t stand up to them and be who they really are and display it publicly. A strong man will wear a pink shirt and not care what anyone thinks and is ready to defend it if someone ridicules it..
Now is the time Jesus spoke of: "When this gospel has been preached to all nations...then will the end come."
The gospel has been preached. By many accounts we're now in the then that he, and the prophets, spoke of.
Now is the time Jesus spoke of: "When this gospel has been preached to all nations...then will the end come."
The gospel has been preached. By many accounts we're now in the then that he, and the prophets, spoke of.
Yes there is the secular worldly masculinity which encouraged mulitiple female sex partners, drinking heavily and violence.I think the issue is that the "traditional masculinity" they are talking about is not biblical masculinity. Meaning, they are now starting to realize that THEIR redefined "jerk" form of masculinity has come back to bite them in the butt so now once again they must redefine masculinity.
The problem is that boys have absolutely no clue as to what a man actually is. Most don't have a fatherly figure in their lives to show them.
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