Pastor Gets a Guy Who Snores in Church

[mark kennedy]

A guy who works nights was in church every Sunday morning invariably would fall asleep during the sermon, and start snoring. To make it worse he always sat in the middle of the front pew. Finally the Pastor had enough, he asks the congregation, 'Anyone who wants to go to heaven and be with Jesus, stand up now'. Of course everyone stands up except the guy snoring in the front pew. Then the Pastor says, 'anyone who wants to go to hell and be with the devil, STAND UP NOW!!! The man jumps up and looks around and says, 'Well preacher, I don't know what we are voting on but it looks like it's just you and me.

Grace and peace,
Mark

 

[timewerx]

This might be useful if ever get to speak in front of a large audience and some finds my speech boresome!

However, I did worked night and 18 hour shifts, it's hard to keep awake in the day. I did manage to fall asleep on church on Sundays! And often, I would hallucinate, couldn't drive and couldn't go to church at all.

It's not like we could just leave that job and find another one with much better schedule. Not in the job market we have, unless anyone can refer me to a day job!

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

A child from a devout Baptist home decided that their three cats needed to be baptised, so he went to baptise them in the bath. The first two were kittens and they took their baptism as well as expected. But the third cat was a big tomcat and it fought, bit, and scatched the boy until he picked it up, dropped it down beside the bath and said, "Alright! Be a Methodist then!!"

 

[OldWiseGuy]

OTOH,

The preacher noticed that a fellow had dozed off during his sermon and asked the person sitting next to him to wake him. The person replied, "You wake him up, you put him to sleep."