parenting teens

[mama2one]

I SO loved the toddler years which were SO much fun
now I have a teen who I rarely see
I miss doing fun things together & playing all day

taking teen to one of the writing groups I'm in as she's a terrific writer
however, it meets only once/mos
teen stays after school for several activities & is in bedroom doing homework most evenings
how do I get the "closeness" & fun of the toddler years back?

any suggestions?

 

[PloverWing]

It's tough when school activities and homework start to dominate our kids' lives. It's a necessary part of being an American teen, but it's still tough to not see the kids as often.

One thing that helped me when my kids were teens was finding new interests that I had in common with them. I read a number of the books they were reading, and we talked about them. I took martial arts classes with two of my children. We went on walks together in parks (and we still do that, now that they're adults).

Are there any adult-level interests like that that you share with your daughter, or that you could develop together?

 

[Tolworth John]

how do I get the "closeness" & fun of the toddler years back?

You can't go backwards, only forwards.
They are growing up and need both the room to grow and the security of your restictions.

You have to grow with them.
A few thoughts, if they are spending all evening in there rooms how do you know they are doing hoomwork and not just straming the internet, ticktock etc. Get your husband to check the antivirus and usser settings on your router blocks inappropriate content.
If your paying for unlimited internet access on their mobiles you or your husband needs to get anti inappropriate content blocks on their mobile phones.

Re build relationships, check what they are studing at school, what subjecks and read the same text books, web sites etc so at meal times you can talk to them about there subjects.
Do a family walk after Sunday dinner, plan a monthly event, a trip to the theater, a meal out, a visit to relatives, local beauty spot, historical site..

Are they involved with your churches youth group, if not why not? Move churches if need be or help the youth group by providing challinging relevate talks about how Christianity is a contrast to secular imorality and back it with science as well as scripture.

 

[PloverWing]

I'm glad you're able to do those things together.

I agree that it's tough when they move from the stage where we do everything together, to the stage where parents are just one small part of their lives. Sometimes I miss those cuddly little-kid days!