Painful separation

[Be.still]

I need an advice..
We are 2 years married my husband is always speak harsh words towards me.. for 2 years. I prayed for him to change and Im always praying to God to be the woman he needs me to be and desires me to be I'm doing my best to be a good wife even if he is always fighting with me.. even he knows that I have anxiety disorder. He made me stress as always. The saddest part of this is..I always caught him looking at other sexy women's images on Facebook I saw it on search histort.. it hurts me knowing that he get arouse on the images on Facebook whom I know personally.. I feel devastated..everytime I look in the mirror I do hate myself..even I make myself pretty .. put make ups.. I know he sees me as ugly woman.. I can't blame him because after childbirth my body really change a lot I have 3 month old baby and because of sleepless nights makes me Haggard and ugly I can't even fix my hair or go to salon because of breastfeeding..it's not good for the baby..
I didn't tell him that I know what he's doing I'm pretending that I didn't know but he notice that I've changed.. I didn't hug him don't want to kiss him because I'm hurting inside. Ubtil one day he told me to wash his clothes I told him that I can't because my teeth is aching too much and I have a postpartum bleeding. I feel week I need rest.. plus I'm taking care of our baby... Suddenly..he gets mad at me and he told me that our marriage is over. He said I've change a lot.. I replied to him that he needs to understand that I'm not fully recovered form childbirth and the reason why I've changed is because I saw those womens images on ur search history on Facebook. I told him that I knew it but I didnt tell him because I have no courage.. but he denies it and put the blame on me.. that I'm destroying him every man is guilty about looking at women's sexy images. I'm trying to be calm and talk to him to fix our relationship even he is the one at fault.. still hes blaming me and hurt me by his words. I don't know if I will let him go or fight for our marriage.. please help.

Thank you

 

[Tigger45]

May the grace and peace of the Lord be upon your marriage

 

[Llleopard]

Is there a good couple in your church whom you could talk to- explain what is happening and ask the man to have a heart to heart with your husband? Maybe he could make changes if challenged and with someone to walk alongside you both?

 

[Be.still]

May the grace and peace of the Lord be upon your marriage

Thank you

 

[Be.still]

May the grace and peace of the Lord be upon your marriage

Thank you

 

[Be.still]

Is there a good couple in your church whom you could talk to- explain what is happening and ask the man to have a heart to heart with your husband? Maybe he could make changes if challenged and with someone to walk alongside you both?

There is none.. were just starting again after church split.. Ive tried to tell it on his pastor before .. I said I need counseling.. but the pastor told it to her mother and my husband get mad at me and told me that I am destroying him on his pastor..

 

[Llleopard]

Oh that's awful having the pastor break your confidence to the mother! It does sound as if your husband is maybe feeling really guilty and scared and hard hearted. The pastor was the one to get mad at, not you! Does your husband have any friends you can trust who can explain to him what a jackass he is being? Even a non Christian might understand and give him some advice to help him change his attitude.

 

[Be.still]

The hardest thing s he doesn't want to be corrected.. he keeps on telling me that every man is guilty about it.. he will get mad at me if somebody will know about his attitude..

 

[Llleopard]

How are you doing? I am praying for you and your situation xxx