OT: Favorite Seinfeld bits

Mariya116 · Apr 30, 2012

My absolute absolute absolute favorite is Seinfeld's stand-up on immigration.
After I watched it enough times... I just went ahead and bought the entire set of the show!

The cute part is that I got an actual certificate from the Ellis Island Museum confirming that my great grandfather arrived there in 1923!

Jerry Seinfeld On Immigration - YouTube

gurneyhalleck1 · Apr 30, 2012

That WAS funny.

I like the episode where we find out that Puddy is a hypocritical Christian who doesn't really live out what he hears at church. He has Elaine do his dirty work and sins vicariously.
I like it when Elaine asks Puddy what they should have for dinner. Puddy: "It feels like an Arby's night" LOL
Seinfeld - Puddy is a CHRISTian - YouTube

Mariya116 said:
My absolute absolute absolute favorite is Seinfeld's stand-up on immigration.
After I watched it enough times... I just went ahead and bought the entire set of the show!

The cute part is that I got an actual certificate from the Ellis Island Museum confirming that my great grandfather arrived there in 1923!

Jerry Seinfeld On Immigration - YouTube

gurneyhalleck1 · Apr 30, 2012

Kramer's hot tub....classic, man

Seinfeld Clip - Kramer's Hot Tub - YouTube

black coffee · May 2, 2012

"I've been lying about my income for awhile, I figured I could afford a house in the hamptons."

"He could loose his licence, his house...and a lot of other stuff!"

"tell me your sins my son. "actually, im jewish", theres no sin in that"

"what is THAT doing on the table?" - the brentanos book

"so you went back to jockeys? WRONG AGAIN!"

"wanna go with me out to queens?, sure, i LOVE THE COUNTRY"

i could go on forever.

Mariya116 · May 2, 2012

"It's industrial strength!" LOL

Anna Scott · May 2, 2012

I can't believe you guys are still at it. lol.

Anna

Mariya116 · May 3, 2012

Better discuss Seinfeld than marijuana.

gurneyhalleck1 · May 11, 2012

Yep. it's either Jerry, George, Kramer, and Elaine or Cannibis. I'm personally tired of the pot talk. I'd rather discuss calling Dr. Bison or pulling an eclair out of the trashcan, shrinkage or Mulva/Bovery

Mariya116 said:
Better discuss Seinfeld than marijuana.

Mariya116 · May 13, 2012

gurneyhalleck1 said:
I'm personally tired of the pot talk. I'd rather discuss calling Dr. Bison or pulling an eclair out of the trashcan, shrinkage or Mulva/Bovery

Seriously. Maybe Dr. Bison should tell us whether or not pot is really good for you...

gurneyhalleck1 · May 13, 2012

Jackie: "where the heck'd you hear about pot?"

Kramer: "ah, dah, dah, TAW online"

Jackie: "what in blazes is a TAW? I never hearda no TAW? What's that some kinda acronym?"

Kramer: "The Ancient Way, Jackie" (smacks lips as usual, eyes wide)

Jackie: "Orthodoxy? Those the guys with the beards and pony tails? What're they talkin' bout pot for? Aren't they supposed to be religious folks, icons, incense, like standing for hours?"

Kramer: "oh yeahhhhh!"

Jackie: "religious people, 2,000 year old bunch, claim to be the one true Church from the apostles, talkin pot!? They willin' to fast like crazy and stand in one place all day for Jesus but they talk mary-joe-wanna online? That's outrageous!"

Kramer: "oh yeah, Jackie! That's what it is! It's outrageous!"

Jackie: "I tell you what it is: it's theological, philosphical, audacious, outrageous, and cannabistic! Marie....call Dr. Bison....We're gonna check into the legal ramifications of cannabis moralizing online in Eastern message boards. Thanks, honey. I'm on it!"

Kramer: "do we have a case, Jackie?"

Jackie: "Is the Ecumenical Patriarch powerless and is the Pope Catholic?"

Mariya116 said:
Seriously. Maybe Dr. Bison should tell us whether or not pot is really good for you...

Protoevangel · May 13, 2012

This must be Mariya's & Gurney's new favorite subject. Look, it's all they have been talking about here in the Seinfeld thread for 10 days now!

Well, this thread definitely needs something to keep it interesting, I guess.

gurneyhalleck1 · May 13, 2012

Ten days? Check it out, bruthah. This thread has been 'round longer than that! And, btw, it's plenty interesting already, Mr. Vandaley, uh, I mean Protoevangel!

Protoevangel said:
This must be Mariya's & Gurney's new favorite subject. Look, it's all they have been talking about here in the Seinfeld thread for 10 days now!

Well, this thread definitely needs something to keep it interesting, I guess.

Mariya116 · May 13, 2012

One of the reasons why I feel strongly about the anti-drug cause is not only that I have a younger brother who was pretty much the only one of all his friends who did not smoke pot (and he just graduated from college cum laude). It is also that I make donations to an Orthodox Christian charity entitled Orthodox Christian Coalition for Healthy Youth (OCCHY) Orthodox Christian Coalition for Healthy Youth, which promotes anti-drug awareness to young people.

"The primary focus of OCCHY - East Tucson is to work towards reducing the substance abuse issues facing the youth in our Tucson community. Our activities will largely involve supporting youth awareness efforts and public policy campaigns designed to make our community less hospitable to the elements of illicit drug use and their influences on our youth.[FONT=&quot]"[/FONT]

Protoevangel · May 13, 2012

Mariya116 said:
One of the reasons why I feel strongly about the anti-drug cause is not only that I have a younger brother who was pretty much the only one of all his friends who did not smoke pot (and he just graduated from college cum laude). It is also that I make donations to an Orthodox Christian charity entitled Orthodox Christian Coalition for Healthy Youth (OCCHY) Orthodox Christian Coalition for Healthy Youth, which promotes anti-drug awareness to young people.

"The primary focus of OCCHY - East Tucson is to work towards reducing the substance abuse issues facing the youth in our Tucson community. Our activities will largely involve supporting youth awareness efforts and public policy campaigns designed to make our community less hospitable to the elements of illicit drug use and their influences on our youth.[FONT=&quot]"[/FONT]

Since you brought it up and apparently refuse to let it drop, in this completely unrelated thread, no less, okay.

I am actually a supporter of OCCHY.

You can read in their FAQ:

Drugs, like most things in this world, become dangerous to the degree that they are misused. Our role as Orthodox Christians is to restore the things of this world to their holy and proper use. When we equip our youth to only use drugs appropriately, to understand the benefits and limitations of those substances, to understand that often the answers to their needs are not substances at all, then our youth will no longer be endangered by any of those drugs.

If you had even bothered to read the other threads before you flipped out, you would have noticed that no one is recommending marijuana for recreational use. My point has been to allow sick people use marijuana to relieve their suffering, when their doctor agrees that it is appropriate, and they are fully aware of the risks and benefits. This is in no way contrary to the mission of OCCHY.

gurney,

Sorry for continuing the off-topic direction. Hopefully this has fixed Mariya's misunderstanding, so we can get back to the thread's regularly scheduled hillarity.

Protoevangel · May 13, 2012

gurneyhalleck1 said:
Ten days? Check it out, bruthah. This thread has been 'round longer than that! And, btw, it's plenty interesting already, Mr. Vandaley, uh, I mean Protoevangel!

gurneyhalleck1 · May 13, 2012

I'm not a lesbian. I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian. Elaine Benes

George Costanza: I want to make a good entrance. I never makes good entrances.
Jerry: You have made some good exits.

Yo Yo Ma. Kramer

ArmyMatt · May 14, 2012

Jerry: Yes, I'm the shark and he's the little fish eating my laughs.
George: I never knew a fish could eat laughs....
Jerry: Well, I'm glad I brought it up

gurneyhalleck1 · May 22, 2012

Gina: [Gina's boyfriend Martin is in a coma] Kiss me right in front of him.
Jerry: I can't. What if he wakes up.
Gina: A man is lying here unconscious and you're afraid of him. What kind of a man are you?
Jerry: I'm a man who respects a good coma.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098904/quotes?qt0417140

black coffee · May 23, 2012

saw this one last night, instantly thought of yall.

blood bank attendant: So, you want to transfer your blood to another bank?
kramer: oh no, I'm going to keep it in my freezer, WITH MY MONEY!

AND

Kramer: If you would excuse me, I have to fill my freezer with my own blood.

gurneyhalleck1 · May 23, 2012

I love it when that blood plasma gets all over the radiator of Jerry's Saab!

black coffee said:
saw this one last night, instantly thought of yall.

blood bank attendant: So, you want to transfer your blood to another bank?
kramer: oh no, I'm going to keep it in my freezer, WITH MY MONEY!

AND

Kramer: If you would excuse me, I have to fill my freezer with my own blood.

OT: Favorite Seinfeld bits

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