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NeedingPrayersDaily
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Well, you have to give them a chance, everyone deserves that much. If it does not work out, well, there are more choices available.
For me, I tend to avoid congregations/denominations.groups that are legalistic or exclusivistic. That rules out most conservative/fundamentalist groups right away.
Any groups that wants to say "We are the only Christians" or "We are the only ones who worship the right way" have the potential to be abusive and legalistic. (read Father Booth's book Breaking the Chains.)
Many people flock to these churches out of fear, or guilt, or even a desperate need to belong. But church involvement, in my opinion, should not be about fear or guilt, but about love, fellowship, and seeking the Peace and Goodness that comes from a close relationship with God. by attending a church, we can find others who might seek that and thus bring about the same closeness with God.
Of course, I am not one to talk, because I have not truly found that in reality BUT it is something that I hope some day I would find.
I find that any opinion I express, from religion to the weather, seems to draw criticism from the world in general, and that is why I rarely speak up on anything. I do not walk into a church and offer suggestions or opinions, either; I did when I was younger but I do not anymore. I have found though that anything I say or do would be more tolerated at a traditionally "liberal" church, as in Methodist, Episcopal, Unity, Unitarian, liberal Quakers. For that reason, I would consider myself a more "liberal" Christian. I do like a low key congregation, but at the same time I love the Episcopal high mass which is so beautiful.
The other issue I have, and I addressed this in the Non-Denom forum, is that I have always had (And have accepted that I probably always will have) difficulty making friends and by that I mean even gettign to stage one. I am for some reason, the kind of person people avoid, and if anyone would ever come right out and say why I would appreciate it but that has not happened yet.
I find many churches are overly friendly with someone the first time they come in to visit, but anytime after that they are less friendly and making friends is impossible because the shallowness of greeting every visitor and inviting them back stops there and does not move on to getting to know people any better.
The last town we lived in, we attended the same church for 2 years; we knew only a few people that I worked with that attended there. We made no friends, met no new people, because clearly we did not "fit in" to that congregation. After 2 years, we moved out of town, I scarcely doubt anyone there notices that weare gone. Or cares. I have come to realize that to be the norm, at least for me. But while there, I found great inspiration in the messages preached and a sense of peace in the services themselves. So really, I did not come out empty handed.
But in a liberal congregation, I am likely to speak up on this and find that most people are there " Doing their thing" so to speak and while possibly not trying to make friends, at least they are not trying to destroy and control the lives of others. And if someone is wanting to talk to me, yes I am certainly available.
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