[Open] Support thread for non-punitive households (Please NO DEBATE)

[Robinsegg]

One of the things I do with my son, when he's unable to handle his emotions is ask him to give me a "squeeze" (a really big strong hug). Sometimes, that will help him release some of that energy in a positive way, and help him come down from the big emotions.

Also, could she be jealous of baby getting special time with mommy? If so, maybe you could try playing a simple game with her beforehand, or maybe have her help you with something (making her the "big girl") beforehand, to help her feel more involved with you?

When my kids need down time and don't want to sleep, I'll put in a DVD or video for them to watch on TV. They get the quiet down time they need and, if they're really tired, they'll go to sleep watching tv. It's not something I do all the time, but difficult naptimes can be made easier this way.

Rachel

 

[jazzbird]

Hi Ladies. I've probably been on CF a total of five times in the last nine months. I was very pleased to find this thread when I decided to log back in today, as I had previously been feeling like I didn't have much in common with a lot of moms and dads on the parenting forum here. In my limited free time I do visit GCM, but I am not there enough to build relationships, and I mostly just lurk unless I have a question.

Anyway, I'm glad to see a thread with some mamas I already know...a place I can come where people don't think I'm a bit of a nutcase! A single thread where maybe I can actually keep up with what is going on with people!

As a bit of an intro: I have one nine month old son, Jonas. We've had, and continue to have, a lot of challenges, but he is just amazing, and I love him so much! I am mostly a SAHM. I watch my friend's kids three days a week for five hours each day, and I also make and sell pouch slings and MTs. My house is an utter disaster seven days a week, and sometimes I wonder if it will ever be clean again!

LEANNA: When I was reading about your little one, I though she sounds just like Jonas, who also has reflux. He was on Zantac for quite some time, but about 6 weeks ago, we switched to Prilosec because it seemed "The Tac," as DH calls it, was becoming less effective. If I remember, it did take four days or so before we saw any improvement. What kind of formula is your DD on? DS also has milk protein intolerance, and I'm wondering if that might be a possibility with your babe. Is she on a milk formula? It may be worth looking into the possibility of an intolerance. Propping never worked for us; he takes a lot of naps in MTs and he stays to sleep a little better that way. As, I think it was Rose who said, it does get better around six months when they can sit up. He still has his fussy times during the day, but it's better. Our main issues are nights where he still wakes hourly most nights. I honestly don't know how I can even see straight anymore, but it's amazing what your capable of when your babe needs you. God gives me the strength and sustanance to make it through. I hope you figure things out so she is content, but whatever comes, you'll be able to handle it, and (even though it often doesn't seem like it) this will pass.

Jonas woke up at 4 this morning throwing up. He's vomitted about four more times since then. Like total flying across the room projectile vomit. My poor little guy. He's never sick, but I guess he must have caught a stomach bug. He's sleeping pretty well in an MT right now. He's just been miserable all day, and I feel terrible for him! We were supposed to go to the in-laws for an Easter brunch today, and of course Grandma was totally disappointed, but I think she's going to stop by with some food later today.

Anyway, I'm so pleased to see this thread here, and I hope I'll be able to check in often.

 

[jazzbird]

Wow, my health is still 100%, that's surprising!

 

[katelyn]

Welcome back.

 

[RoseofLima]

Oh!! Jazzbird I don't know if you were here when I opened a new account- my previous screen name was ShannonMcCatholic.

I am so delighted to see you- but very sorry to read of your reflux woes. It is amazing what a mommy can endure and how little sleep we actually need to survive isn't it??

 

[Leanna]

Thanks jazz, I guess I could give an update but I was trying not to muddle up the thread too much. We did switch to a soy formula about 4 days ago and continued with the Zantac. She seems better.......... I almost hate to say it because other times I thought she was better and the next day was really bad, but today has been a really good day. Yesterday she only had one painful time. She hasn't spit up much at all, she isn't crying in pain anymore.... well at least not today. She is a pacifier lover doh: ) and I read that helps her stomach or something? She also is in love with the bouncy chair and spends more time there than I prefer. No joke, sometimes I am holding/wearing her and there is no way to make her happy, so I put her in the bouncy chair and she calms down. I would think it would be the other way around. I think we might have found our happy place.

So how much are you selling mei tai's for? I probably don't need another carrier.... but maybe I do .... and that's her favorite kind because it keeps her upright.... I like that one in your avatar....

 

[jazzbird]

Hi Shannon! I didn't know it was you, but now I know why I liked all your posts so much in this thread! It should have rung a bell when you were talking about Bernadette, as I remember you mentioning her in the past, and it's not a very common name.

Hi Katelyn!

Leanna, I totally know what you mean about thinking things are getting better, just to have a horrible day. I go through cycles like that all the time. Hope the soy works for her. The milk thing is a huge pain. I haven't had any dairy for 8 months now and I have to read labels all the time. Ugh. I can't wait until he grows out of it. Usually by a year they are over it, so I'm really hoping. I don't want to have to wean him that early, but if he's still having problems, I'm just not sure I can keep nursing him past a year. My body is so spent, and between nursing and not getting all those dairy calories, I can't seem to keep weight on. Never thought I'd have that problem.

I sell MTs for $55. I had just been selling my carriers on the WAHM forum at diaperswappers, but I recently joined a Hyenacart Congo and we had our grand opening last week. We're doing 10% off through this Wednesday. If you're not familiar with Hyenacart, it's basically a place where WAHMs can sell their goods. Mostly natural family type stuff. Not sure if this is spamming, since you asked about it, but here's a link to my part of the store. (Mods please let me know if I can't post that). I currently have one custom MT spot open. I didn't list the fabric that's in my avatar because I'm running low on it and what's left is about an inch shorter than what I use as the standard height for my carriers.

Happy Easter everyone. DS is on the mend today, so we're going to go visit the grandparents this afternoon.

 

[annaapple]

Just a quick success story to keep everyone encouraged. Went to supermarket the other day and did Rose's thing of making rules clear beforehand. I only had 2 rules: stay in the cart and we're not buying anything except my shoppping list.
IT WORKED

Wow I was sooooooooooo happy. The trip went really smoothly, no whining etc, and at the end he got to sit in the little machine (no coins, I never let him actually have a ride, and actually I never normally let him sit in the machine) and then I said, "Right I'm going to count to 10 and when I get to 10 you're going to get off, ok?" And that worked too!!!!

So now I'm working really hard to set clear boundaries for everything beforehand. I know it is obvious, but still... I need reminding sometimes.

On the baby carrying note: I've had huge success with the Hugabub, originally from Australia. As mine are way to heavy to carry now, I'm hoping God will bless us with another little one soon - can't wait to carry again!

 

[Jemma]

Re. your signature: Christos Anesti and Xronia Polla annaapple

Glad your shopping trip went really well. DD finds shopping trips an adventure and loves them when she's not overly tired.

 

[Jemma]

Hi everyone I've been meaning to say hello for a little while but have been lurking instead.

I want to use only gentle discipline methods, but I'm finding this thread so overwhelming. Too much to read through that I don't know where to begin.

We don't smack DD very often at all, but I'm thinking there must surely be more effective ways to discipline. Mostly we try to distract her away from whatever's bothering her, and praising her when she does the right thing. What else can we do?

Are there basic guidelines for gentle parenting that I can bring to DH and discuss with him? Neither of us like smacking, and I hate even more having to threaten it. You know, "Smacking is bad, but I will smack you if..." That's not right, and doesn't feel right.

So, what can I do? Where do I start? A little background...

Our daughter is 2 years old, and generally a good girl. She's very smart, curious and increasingly independent as is to be expected for her age. We used to have childproof locks on everything, but then we moved. We feel now that she's old enough to learn to stay out of certain cupboards or the tv unit cupboards where the DVDs are. She's learning, but if she's tired, etc, she can be a handful. I'm also newly pregnant and super-fatigued, so I need an effective way to parent and minimise the tantrums and their duration.



Thanks in advance, everyone.

 

[katelyn]

Just a quick success story to keep everyone encouraged. Went to supermarket the other day and did Rose's thing of making rules clear beforehand. I only had 2 rules: stay in the cart and we're not buying anything except my shoppping list.
IT WORKED

Awesome!

 

[Leanna]

Usually by a year they are over it, so I'm really hoping. I don't want to have to wean him that early, but if he's still having problems, I'm just not sure I can keep nursing him past a year. My body is so spent, and between nursing and not getting all those dairy calories, I can't seem to keep weight on. Never thought I'd have that problem.

You've probably thought of this-- but have you checked out vegan cookbooks? They don't eat dairy after all so they must have some tricks to getting the right kinds of fats! I can only imagine I would be having the same problem, when I was still breastfeeding I was eating like crazy and already suspecting some kind of dairy or reflux issue with Maya, I lost all of my baby weight within 5 days ....

I didn't list the fabric that's in my avatar because I'm running low on it and what's left is about an inch shorter than what I use as the standard height for my carriers

*sniff*

Hi everyone I've been meaning to say hello for a little while but have been lurking instead.

I want to use only gentle discipline methods, but I'm finding this thread so overwhelming. Too much to read through that I don't know where to begin.

We don't smack DD very often at all, but I'm thinking there must surely be more effective ways to discipline. Mostly we try to distract her away from whatever's bothering her, and praising her when she does the right thing. What else can we do?

Are there basic guidelines for gentle parenting that I can bring to DH and discuss with him? Neither of us like smacking, and I hate even more having to threaten it. You know, "Smacking is bad, but I will smack you if..." That's not right, and doesn't feel right.

So, what can I do? Where do I start? A little background...

Our daughter is 2 years old, and generally a good girl. She's very smart, curious and increasingly independent as is to be expected for her age. We used to have childproof locks on everything, but then we moved. We feel now that she's old enough to learn to stay out of certain cupboards or the tv unit cupboards where the DVDs are. She's learning, but if she's tired, etc, she can be a handful. I'm also newly pregnant and super-fatigued, so I need an effective way to parent and minimise the tantrums and their duration.



Thanks in advance, everyone.

Here is a board at GCM about frequently asked questions.... see if that helps any http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/mb/index.php?board=231.0

And pick up Your Two Year Old by Ames and Ilg

 

[katelyn]

You've probably thought of this-- but have you checked out vegan cookbooks? They don't eat dairy after all so they must have some tricks to getting the right kinds of fats!

I wanted to mention that I really like The Vegetarian Mother's Cookbook by Cathe Olson. It's not vegan, but they have lots of vegan/non-dairy options. Each recipe shows nutrition info, which is cool.

 

[Jemma]

You've probably thought of this-- but have you checked out vegan cookbooks? They don't eat dairy after all so they must have some tricks to getting the right kinds of fats! I can only imagine I would be having the same problem, when I was still breastfeeding I was eating like crazy and already suspecting some kind of dairy or reflux issue with Maya, I lost all of my baby weight within 5 days ....

*sniff*

Here is a board at GCM about frequently asked questions.... see if that helps any http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/mb/index.php?board=231.0

And pick up Your Two Year Old by Ames and Ilg

Thanks for the suggestions. I've opened up the site you linked to but haven't had a chance to look at it yet. I will I'm still only getting used to this site (the first real forum I've participated in )

Re. vegan, non-dairy diet and fat requirements, nuts are great for that thing. Also some vegetarian meat-substitutes. There are heaps out there that aren't just tofu, that taste close to the real thing. They can be high in fat, so if that's what you're after whilst breastfeeding, a little will do the trick. Many are nut-based too, which is a healthy kind of fat.

 

[RoseofLima]

Just a quick success story to keep everyone encouraged. Went to supermarket the other day and did Rose's thing of making rules clear beforehand. I only had 2 rules: stay in the cart and we're not buying anything except my shoppping list.
IT WORKED

Wow I was sooooooooooo happy. The trip went really smoothly, no whining etc, and at the end he got to sit in the little machine (no coins, I never let him actually have a ride, and actually I never normally let him sit in the machine) and then I said, "Right I'm going to count to 10 and when I get to 10 you're going to get off, ok?" And that worked too!!!!

So now I'm working really hard to set clear boundaries for everything beforehand. I know it is obvious, but still... I need reminding sometimes.

On the baby carrying note: I've had huge success with the Hugabub, originally from Australia. As mine are way to heavy to carry now, I'm hoping God will bless us with another little one soon - can't wait to carry again!

Oh that's great!! Isn't it amazing how much a little success can make such a huge difference!! I am so happy for you

 

[RoseofLima]

Hi everyone I've been meaning to say hello for a little while but have been lurking instead.

I want to use only gentle discipline methods, but I'm finding this thread so overwhelming. Too much to read through that I don't know where to begin.

We don't smack DD very often at all, but I'm thinking there must surely be more effective ways to discipline. Mostly we try to distract her away from whatever's bothering her, and praising her when she does the right thing. What else can we do?

Are there basic guidelines for gentle parenting that I can bring to DH and discuss with him? Neither of us like smacking, and I hate even more having to threaten it. You know, "Smacking is bad, but I will smack you if..." That's not right, and doesn't feel right.

So, what can I do? Where do I start? A little background...

Our daughter is 2 years old, and generally a good girl. She's very smart, curious and increasingly independent as is to be expected for her age. We used to have childproof locks on everything, but then we moved. We feel now that she's old enough to learn to stay out of certain cupboards or the tv unit cupboards where the DVDs are. She's learning, but if she's tired, etc, she can be a handful. I'm also newly pregnant and super-fatigued, so I need an effective way to parent and minimise the tantrums and their duration.



Thanks in advance, everyone.

Personally- for age 2, I try to minimize the "No's!" I think if your child is one who likes going into cabinets - some means to slow her down is helpful. Teaching them to not touch certain things is a long process, because that is such an inherent part of how they learn. We actually use elatic hairbands twisted around the handles of the cabinets to impede the rapidity of access- that at least gives me a chance to arrive at the crime scene to direct the investigation I think it is very good to have one cabinet that is okay for baby to go in and take things out. That aids with re direction. 'This cabinet isn't for baby, but this one is!! This is baby's cabinet!"

Try to look at the world from your toddler's point of view--get down to her level, look at what you see, what is colorful with enticing patterns or interesting textures. DVD's are likely to be awfully enticing for a little person- because of their colors and shape and stuff.

I think it's an uphill battle at age two to try to get them not to investigate their world. I think it is easier on everyone to make your home, their home too-- where it is okay to touch and experience most things within their reach.

 

[annaapple]

Oh that's great!! Isn't it amazing how much a little success can make such a huge difference!! I am so happy for you

I'm so happy for me too! We did a lot more counting down on things today, and I have been making a real effort to prepare for changes. It's been a rough day - oldest DS was promised playtime with a particular friend and that couldn't go ahead, then in the afternoon DH had to go to hospital (he had a tonsillectomy last week and he started bleeding a bit). He's had to stay in for observation (too much swelling) but the kids have been great, even though their day was pretty weird. Really making an effort to start from their perspective and then work them towards mine helped so much.

I always knew I wanted to parent this way, and that it would work much better, but I didn't know how to do it. It is so exciting learning and seeing the fruits from time to time

Rose - How's Bernadette's finger doing? I hope it is lots better! And just a quick 'practical' question - do you take your kids to the Easter Vigil?

 

[Leanna]

He likes her!

I just have to share that David likes Maya so much... that the other day I asked grandma to watch Maya so David and I could go to the library and have some fun together and then come right back and get her.... when she wasnt in the car he was saying "Maya, carseat!!!" and freaking out.... I explained we'd be right back for her and he said "I miss Maya!" awwwwww.... then yesterday his dad was playing around and asked him if he wanted another baby and he said yeah! lol

 

[RoseofLima]

I'm so happy for me too! We did a lot more counting down on things today, and I have been making a real effort to prepare for changes. It's been a rough day - oldest DS was promised playtime with a particular friend and that couldn't go ahead, then in the afternoon DH had to go to hospital (he had a tonsillectomy last week and he started bleeding a bit). He's had to stay in for observation (too much swelling) but the kids have been great, even though their day was pretty weird. Really making an effort to start from their perspective and then work them towards mine helped so much.

I always knew I wanted to parent this way, and that it would work much better, but I didn't know how to do it. It is so exciting learning and seeing the fruits from time to time

Rose - How's Bernadette's finger doing? I hope it is lots better! And just a quick 'practical' question - do you take your kids to the Easter Vigil?

BErnadette's finger is doing great. It's healing very quickly!

I do not, at this point, take my kids to Easter Vigil. When my oldest two are a little older I will. My husband isn't Catholic and so it would just be me there for those two or three hours We go to the Mass of the Lord's Supper on Holy THursday--on Good Friday we stay home and walk the Stations of the Cross in our woods and make hot cross buns, andvenerate the Cross at home (the Liturgy is always at some ridiculously late hour- like 8 PM!) We aspire to go to daily Mass--we used to always make it everyday- but now do not--but hope to again!

How is your hubby doing??

 

[RoseofLima]

He likes her!

I just have to share that David likes Maya so much... that the other day I asked grandma to watch Maya so David and I could go to the library and have some fun together and then come right back and get her.... when she wasnt in the car he was saying "Maya, carseat!!!" and freaking out.... I explained we'd be right back for her and he said "I miss Maya!" awwwwww.... then yesterday his dad was playing around and asked him if he wanted another baby and he said yeah! lol

That is so sweet That's how my kids are, too--and I think to myself, "How on earth can y'all want another baby when I've been so grumpy and not able to play with anyone????" But when you ask them- they always say that they would love to have another brother or sister.

Leanna-isn't it so funny, though, we worry so much about how our older ones are dealing- how they might be longing for us all to themselves--and then they want they baby to come when we go off by ourselves

How's Maya's reflux??