Once a cheater always a cheater?

[HopeFaithLove4u]

I hate this topic

Yeah, this topic is a "things that make you go, hmmmmnnnnnn......" topic.

When I was in my 20's, there was, absolutely no excuse and no 2nd chance. But, now, I'm more compassionate and I will give a 2nd chance, but no 3rd.

 

[soccerdad66]

I voted yes, mainly because when a person cheats, they justify their actions, and that's a character issue.

Can people change, you bet they can! Do people make mistakes and never do it again, certainly, but overall, usually people who cheat do it more then once.

 

[GritsnGrace]

Do you believe that? Have you been cheated on? Did you forgive the person AND take them back? Have you cheated on someone? Were you forgiven AND taken back?

I was watching a tv news type show that brought this question to my mind...I have been cheated on and I ended the relationship. It just hurt way to much...I think I have finally forgiven him but I don't think I could ever take him back.

Yes, I believe that. Yes, I have been cheated on, I forgave him once, took him back, and then he did it again. So, that did it for me. And I would not ever cheat on someone. Not my style.

 

[Inkachu]

It's interesting that most of the posts are either from people who have never experienced either end of this issue, or people who were cheated ON.

Am I the only one who has cheated in the past? It wasn't sexual, but I still consider it "cheating" because it was dishonest and I was in a relationship at the time.

I also see that I'm one of the few who seems to have faith that a past cheater can change and not repeat the behavior.

Just interesting...anyone else on my end?

 

[HopeFaithLove4u]

I also see that I'm one of the few who seems to have faith that a past cheater can change and not repeat the behavior.

I also said, I would give the person another chance, because they may change.....you never know, it's up to the person.

 

[ido]

I think most people that cheat are prone to repeat the offense. However, I do know of people that have "rehabilitated" themselves and have ended the viscious cycle.

 

[Bridgit]

Of course not. God makes us new creatures and can change anybody (if they are willing to change)!

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

Thats what I love about you Melissa. Herpes, HIV, HPV. . . what do you call them. . . "cooties"

Just don't infect me with Gingervitus.

GINGERVITUS!!!

 

[dluvs2trvl]

I do believe reconciliation after cheating is possible if the cheating party in question offers up 110% transparency.. no secrets, no lies, no -privacy- to a point, and defined boundaries (cutting off contact with questionable people, for example), for as long as the other person requires it (a reasonable time frame, of course, not "forever")

If the party in question refuses, or if the lies continue, or if a repeat offence occurs? Once a cheater, always a cheater most likely applies, or at the very least, they are not in a mental state that is prepared to handle the responsibilities of being in a healthy relationship (another term for this would be "They need to grow up first")

I agree with this...

In my case, he wasn't interested in reconciling. He would've loved it if I'd never found out and he could've been with us both but once I did find out - he was interested in being with the girl (yes - GIRL as he cheated on me with a girl who was 26 years his junior!!!! ) but even if he had been interested I honestly don't think I would've done it. The trust was broken and it called our entire relationship into question in my mind.

Maybe that's a fault of mine...maybe I'm not a strong enough person to handle a situation like that - I don't know *shrugs* I know that I have forgiven him but I just don't think I could have ever taken him back and been secure in the relationship. I think I would've always been waiting for him to do it again...

I do think it is possible for reconciliation and restoration but I don't know that I could ever do it...