Hello, It has been a while since I have been here. I don't know where to post this, but I need some advice on exploring my loss of faith. It has been an off and on struggle for the last 20 years or so, and I only come here when I am struggling. Each time I lose my faith is worse than before, and I don't know if I will ever find my way back. Before I get into it all, what forum can I visit to have an honest discussion, where I can speak feely BACK AND FORTH about my questions. Not to be lectured, but to get answers or insight that maybe there is something, anything that I have not heard before. Because nothing is working to get me back this time and my heart is just getting more and more broken at this messed up world. A world that I truly believe is indeed Hell.
I think the issue is more simple than people think. We either believe the Bible as it is written, or we don't. The purpose of the Bible is summed up at the end of the gospel of John, "There were many things that Jesus did that are not written in this book, but these are written that you might believe on Him."
There are two types of believing. There is the feeling of believing or doubt, and there is the act of the will to decide to believe or to doubt. A person can decide to believe the Bible, and yet have feelings of doubt. What has moral value to God is what that person decides to believe. Emotions are unstable, fleeting. We can feel good one day and feel bad the next.
But I can read the Bible and decide, yes, this is true and I believe it. I might not understand everything about it, but I decide to take it at face value. There are many times when I feel doubtful about my faith when I see my failings and shortcomings. But I believe the Scripture: "By grace you are saved, through faith, not of yourselves, but it is the gift of God." So I decide to believe that, rather than believing my feelings and doubtful thoughts.
The recorded comment that came from the devil was, "Has God said?" throwing doubts on God's specific command not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. That comment injected a doubt in Eve's mind and that doubt led to an action that changed human history for ever. These injections of doubt have come to people ever since, and they come from exactly the same direction as the first doubt came to Eve.
Faith is an act of the will, and we base our decisions on what we believe. If we decide to believe the Bible regardless of the doubts that tend to flood our minds from time to time, we will base our decisions on what the Bible says, rather than our doubts.
Of course, we have to spend time reading the Bible. If we never take that time, it is understandable that doubts will arise. I started a programme of reading as much of the Bible as I could last thing at night before I went to sleep. I started at Genesis around three weeks ago, and now I am halfway through Isaiah. Even though I have been a believer for 52 years, I am seeing things in the Bible I never saw before in the same way. What I am seeing quite clearly is that those who believe and trust in Him, He counts as righteous and He blesses them. Last night as I was reading through Isaiah, I came across a passage where I sensed that God was specifically encouraging me through what was written there. In this way, I knew that my faith was being enhanced just by reading through the Bible just like any other book, where many parts are interesting and informative and then there are parts where it seems that God is speaking to me directly. No other book has done that for me in the same way as the Bible does it - even the many Christian teaching and devotion books I have read over the years.
So, because faith comes by hearing [or reading] the Word of God, I recommend picking the Bible up and, starting with Genesis, just read it. Don't try to get God to speak to you through it; just read it page by page, and then at some point, something will jump out of the page at you and you will know that God is speaking to you. Let Him do that. Finding that precious nugget of God speaking to you directly from the Bible is like gold mining. You have to process a lot of crushed rock and dirt until you come to that seam of gold.
On the way, you will discover and learn a lot of interesting stuff, but then, bingo! You will go, "Wow. That really spoke to me!" It will happen when you decide to mean business with God concerning reading His Word. Just reading a couple of favourite passages just won't do. You have to get stuck in and read as much as you can at each Bible reading session.
That's what I did, and boy, my faith has been well and truly strengthened!
The "Exploring Christianity" or "Struggles by Non-Christians" forums might be good places to start.
