Dear People,
I was walking down the street and noticed something. People's faces are stuck into little rectangular devices everywhere I go. I go to the mall and people almost run into me looking down at those little things in their hands. Same at the grocery store. Same at Walmart. At the doctor's office, even old codgers like me are looking at that little rectangular box like it is the best thing since sliced bread. People are addicted. Gee, are they addicted. Nobody talks to anyone anymore. They just stare at that little screen.
So, I bought one of my own.
After spending four days trying to read those small directions in the little booklet, I figured out what the charger was really for. I charged it and turned it on after tapping the screen incessantly for two hours. Magically, the light came on when I found the power button. I don't know what a Google is, but I've got one. Finally, after getting the Google thing, I didn't get why people constantly stare at it. It really does nothing but make phone calls.
My granddaughter got a hold of it and showed me the "app store." What is an app? Is it some mystical creature or something? Anyway, using my Google, she signed me up for Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Pinterest, Spotify. Spotify is amazing. I can sit there and create my own radio station complete with Hank Williams, senior not his dumb kid, and Dolly Parton.
I spent a lot of time with that little rectangular device. I surfed the web using my Google thingie maggie bob, looked at a ton of pictures on Instagram (I love bikinis), Tweeted tons of my thoughts on things and even castigated my Senator for being the useless piece of excrement he is. I found my family posts lots of things on that Facebook thing and my granddaughter uses more cuss words than us sailors did back in Nam.
Gotta go. My phone is on 15% and needs to charge.
Gramps