- Mar 2, 2007
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the following is a brief snap-shot of some of the struggles that I find myself fighting with regularly. This was copied and pasted from the following site : Psychiatric Disorders.com
If you go there, you will also note that OCD and OCPD are not one in the same but have some cross over similarities, so I hope you don’t mind my using this area to come to in search of assistance with a current struggle in my life......
Symptoms of Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
OCPD symptoms tend to appear early in adulthood and are defined by inflexibility, close adherence to rules, anxiety when rules are transgressed, and unrealistic perfectionism. A person with obsessive compulsive personality disorder exhibits several of the following symptoms:
abnormal preoccupation with lists, rules, and minor details
excessive devotion to work, to the detriment of social and family activities
miserliness or a lack of generosity
perfectionism that interferes with task completion, as performance is never good enough
refusal to throw anything away (pack-rat mentality)
rigid and inflexible attitude towards morals or ethical code
unwilling to let others perform tasks, fearing the loss of responsibility
upset and off-balance when rules or established routines are disrupted.
Notice the two symptoms that I have highlighted over in red. These are the ones that are most disruptive in my life at present in a particular situation.
In brief, here are the other persons that my compulsive thinking is affecting and the details of the situation:
person 1. I am in a committed relationship.
lets call this person Christian
person 2. In the small town in which I live I have one true friend that I know has been consistent in my life over the course of the last few years. she is more like a 'little sister' than a friend even, including how I feel about my being like a role model to her and trying to help her to learn and live independently and responsibly in 'grown up' society as opposed to some of her actions that I see as childish teenage melodramatic and immature activities. I don’t look down on her, nor judge her in harshness, after all she is 10 years younger than myself and I have been in her shoes before. If anything I get frustrated at times because (speaking from an OCPD mindset) I feel that she SHOULD BE more mature than she acts out to be. At times when she acts childishly (as in what I would believe to be 'high school' teen-age manipulations and games). In short, I feel much more like a big sister at these times, and feel a need to advise or give constructive criticism to her, when she is in these moods, more than I feel we are equals and friends. after all, we met a few years ago when I took her into my house because she was homeless and needed such a person to guide her to getting herself set up with an apartment and stable living. for anonymity we'll call this person 'lil sis'
person 3. my partner, Christian, has a son, Lucas (again not his real name) whom has fallen on hard times and needs a place to crash for a while. I know that 'Lil sis' has a large third room that she is not using and so I ask her if she would be willing to have Lucas stay a sort while with her.
Prior to Lucas moving in with Lil Sis, I did pull each aside and remind them both that they could support one another as friends and that neither really needed to get 'too involved' with the others' affairs for this short stay. Knowing that both have tendencies for both youthful indiscretions and both under stress and not in a stable mental place at this moment.
Situation next: Stuff went down, feelings got hurt, toes got stepped on, and I am stuck having to make a choice between supporting my partner's son or my lil sis. I had to make a decision based upon which person's actions were most in line with my own beliefs, I.E. rigid and inflexible attitude towards morals or ethical code. I found that my lil sis had acted out in such a way that had placed Lucas in jeopardy, and that Lucas was the clear victim to a malicious attack which pursued after and as a direct result of lil sis's actions. This left me one position, stand by what I feel to be right, truthful, loving, pure, and unselfish. I sided with my partner and Christian's son, Lucas.
Lil Sis of course is feeling very hurt by my decision, but I feel that I needed to support my new 'family' even if it meant hurting both lil sis and I by having to withdraw contact from lil sis for a while. I am hoping that she is using this time to reflect on how her actions have consequences and that when she gets overly involved in another's life, those consequences tend to affect other people as well. I want for her to learn that she needs to refrain from acting out of emotions or impulsively, and to think on what is Pure, Loving, Honest, and Unselfish before taking any action which may affect another person. Would she want another person to treat her or act towards her the way she is acting or treating others? that is what I want for her to learn if anything in this tough growing pain called 'one more of life's lessons from the book of hard knocks'.
Is it wrong for me to withdrawal my attentions from her all together? Is it wrong of me to have some expectation that she learn to 'grow up'? Is it bad that I give her 'the silent treatment' while I pray for her to reflect on what she did? Is it just my OCPD churning up irrational 'righteousness' in my mind that causes me to doubt these actions - either way? WWJD?? idk.
If you go there, you will also note that OCD and OCPD are not one in the same but have some cross over similarities, so I hope you don’t mind my using this area to come to in search of assistance with a current struggle in my life......
Symptoms of Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
OCPD symptoms tend to appear early in adulthood and are defined by inflexibility, close adherence to rules, anxiety when rules are transgressed, and unrealistic perfectionism. A person with obsessive compulsive personality disorder exhibits several of the following symptoms:
abnormal preoccupation with lists, rules, and minor details
excessive devotion to work, to the detriment of social and family activities
miserliness or a lack of generosity
perfectionism that interferes with task completion, as performance is never good enough
refusal to throw anything away (pack-rat mentality)
rigid and inflexible attitude towards morals or ethical code
unwilling to let others perform tasks, fearing the loss of responsibility
upset and off-balance when rules or established routines are disrupted.
Notice the two symptoms that I have highlighted over in red. These are the ones that are most disruptive in my life at present in a particular situation.
In brief, here are the other persons that my compulsive thinking is affecting and the details of the situation:
person 1. I am in a committed relationship.
lets call this person Christian
person 2. In the small town in which I live I have one true friend that I know has been consistent in my life over the course of the last few years. she is more like a 'little sister' than a friend even, including how I feel about my being like a role model to her and trying to help her to learn and live independently and responsibly in 'grown up' society as opposed to some of her actions that I see as childish teenage melodramatic and immature activities. I don’t look down on her, nor judge her in harshness, after all she is 10 years younger than myself and I have been in her shoes before. If anything I get frustrated at times because (speaking from an OCPD mindset) I feel that she SHOULD BE more mature than she acts out to be. At times when she acts childishly (as in what I would believe to be 'high school' teen-age manipulations and games). In short, I feel much more like a big sister at these times, and feel a need to advise or give constructive criticism to her, when she is in these moods, more than I feel we are equals and friends. after all, we met a few years ago when I took her into my house because she was homeless and needed such a person to guide her to getting herself set up with an apartment and stable living. for anonymity we'll call this person 'lil sis'
person 3. my partner, Christian, has a son, Lucas (again not his real name) whom has fallen on hard times and needs a place to crash for a while. I know that 'Lil sis' has a large third room that she is not using and so I ask her if she would be willing to have Lucas stay a sort while with her.
Prior to Lucas moving in with Lil Sis, I did pull each aside and remind them both that they could support one another as friends and that neither really needed to get 'too involved' with the others' affairs for this short stay. Knowing that both have tendencies for both youthful indiscretions and both under stress and not in a stable mental place at this moment.
Situation next: Stuff went down, feelings got hurt, toes got stepped on, and I am stuck having to make a choice between supporting my partner's son or my lil sis. I had to make a decision based upon which person's actions were most in line with my own beliefs, I.E. rigid and inflexible attitude towards morals or ethical code. I found that my lil sis had acted out in such a way that had placed Lucas in jeopardy, and that Lucas was the clear victim to a malicious attack which pursued after and as a direct result of lil sis's actions. This left me one position, stand by what I feel to be right, truthful, loving, pure, and unselfish. I sided with my partner and Christian's son, Lucas.
Lil Sis of course is feeling very hurt by my decision, but I feel that I needed to support my new 'family' even if it meant hurting both lil sis and I by having to withdraw contact from lil sis for a while. I am hoping that she is using this time to reflect on how her actions have consequences and that when she gets overly involved in another's life, those consequences tend to affect other people as well. I want for her to learn that she needs to refrain from acting out of emotions or impulsively, and to think on what is Pure, Loving, Honest, and Unselfish before taking any action which may affect another person. Would she want another person to treat her or act towards her the way she is acting or treating others? that is what I want for her to learn if anything in this tough growing pain called 'one more of life's lessons from the book of hard knocks'.
Is it wrong for me to withdrawal my attentions from her all together? Is it wrong of me to have some expectation that she learn to 'grow up'? Is it bad that I give her 'the silent treatment' while I pray for her to reflect on what she did? Is it just my OCPD churning up irrational 'righteousness' in my mind that causes me to doubt these actions - either way? WWJD?? idk.
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