ocd

[dees5186]

i'm new here. have ocd for years and has taken many forms. checking,
counting... but the most awful are the blasphemous thoughts.
i am convinced they are my thoughts and i think them when i get
angry.... not just then. i'll have a thought and pace and replay and replay
over and over. i am terrified i have commited the unpardonable sin. my
thoughts seem to be against the Holy Spirit. they are utterly vile thoughts
and i believe they are my thoughts. think them when i get angry,,,
i am lost of all hope for i believe that God has turned me away. i have
spent hours on the internet searching on this matter. everyone seems
to have something kinda different to say about it. i believe in my case
that i was warned years ago by God to stay away from my current
situation. that warning was overpowering and so strong i had no doubt
it was from God. i believe it was a warning that i would come to this
state i'm in and do this upspeakable act. i am undone and lost of hope.
don't know what else to do.

 

[dabro]

This is going to hurt to prepare yourself. Maybe you have blasphemed or made God angry. Maybe you'll be like me and cast out into outer darkness but look SSRI's AD's are needed to help you cope. ERP is what I just did to you to blow up the obsession to the point where it doesn't faze you. Also one big advice believe in yourself. You can over come this. In time it will become few and far between. Now I'm not going to be like everyoone else and feed you assurance but try to help you nip it in the bud.

 

[dees5186]

i know for a fact that i have ocd. for years i have been plagued by the fear of saying
something obscene when talking to people in person pr on the phone and fear of
writting something obscene on paper, like writting a check or like that. the fear of doing something obscene in public. people all around me including counselors tell me it's the ocd. i have had hard time accepting that this is ocd and that i'm not a evil
or wicked person. i have come to know that these thoughts are not what i would
think or have under "normal" situations. this is what keeps me going. i still believe in
God, alway's have alway's will. i know that Jesus is Lord and savior. i also have to
believe that the God who made the universe knew all of my faults when He called
me to forgiveness years ago. and i need to know that He knows i'm having serious
mental problems and understands. God is merciful and gracious. i "feel" i have gone
to far and can't be forgiven. but i have to believe there is yet mercy and forgiveness.
two things i keep running into when i look things up on the internet. most say if you
did commit the unpardonable sin, you would not care anymore also you would have
no desire to follow the Lord. as i said earlier, many different answers out there on
this subject. but i cannot accept that God would hold my illness against me. for that
is what it is. i worry about having a pop up thought then instead of letting it "go', i
think on it. i have come to realize that is also part of ocd. it's part of the thought
process on a thought i never would have had without ocd. i still have hope now.
won't let that go. there is yet forgiveness and mercy for God is indeed, Great.
Psalm 103 John 3:16

 

[jesuslover94]

I have terrible OCD too, and I'm in the same boat as you, being scared of that sin and all. Like I've read before if you care about God and want to serve Him, then you didn't do it.

 

[dees5186]

thank you for your reply. God Bless you!