OCD/Scrup/unbelief thoughts

[Christian-Catholic]

Continuing to pray for you and your friend. I'm just so glad you're having a pro-active attitude about battling the OCD. I think sometimes just knowing what you're battling is half the battle!

KayKay you hit it right on the dot. Right now it seems like the ocd knows that im trying my best to recognise it, and it seems like it is trying it's best to hit me even harder, but it also knows for sure that I am ready to suffer every day for the rest of my life and even die rather than to lose my faith and god.
My heart lead me to this forum and since the lord is in all our hearts he lead me here

 

[kaykay9.0]

KayKay you hit it right on the dot. Right now it seems like the ocd knows that im trying my best to recognise it, and it seems like it is trying it's best to hit me even harder, but it also knows for sure that I am ready to suffer every day for the rest of my life and even die rather than to lose my faith and god.
My heart lead me to this forum and since the lord is in all our hearts he lead me here

Yes, this forum was one thing that helped me really recognize at deep levels that yes, I DO battle OCD. Some of the posts were just like looking in a mirror. My counselor said that for awhile I was in denial that I really battled OCD. This forum was intrumental, as I said, in helping me see what she had been trying to tell me.

 

[gracealone]

Yes, this forum was one thing that helped me really recognize at deep levels that yes, I DO battle OCD. Some of the posts were just like looking in a mirror. My counselor said that for awhile I was in denial that I really battled OCD. This forum was intrumental, as I said, in helping me see what she had been trying to tell me.

KayKay... just remembering something amusing. Was it your counselor or Seajoy's that said you need to "get out of the river of de-nile." I loved that quote.
Mitzi

 

[gracealone]

You have an inspiring spirit Christian! We're blessed to have you here.
What the OCD does is look for something to constantly chew on - if you refuse to attend to one particular obsession it will come up with another one or it will twist the first one round to make it seem like it's a wholly different question. But in reality the feared outcome or consequence of it possibly being true is generally the same. I call this - "variation on a familiar theme." If an illness could be diabolical - well OCD would fit the bill.
Keep on telling it "where to get off!"
Mitzi

KayKay you hit it right on the dot. Right now it seems like the ocd knows that im trying my best to recognise it, and it seems like it is trying it's best to hit me even harder, but it also knows for sure that I am ready to suffer every day for the rest of my life and even die rather than to lose my faith and god.
My heart lead me to this forum and since the lord is in all our hearts he lead me here

 

[kaykay9.0]

KayKay... just remembering something amusing. Was it your counselor or Seajoy's that said you need to "get out of the river of de-nile." I loved that quote.
Mitzi

It was mine. I almost said that again but didn't know if people "got it!"

 

[gracealone]

It was mine. I almost said that again but didn't know if people "got it!"

No worries... I'm "very blonde" and even I got it.
Love you!!
Mitzi

 

[kaykay9.0]

No worries... I'm "very blonde" and even I got it.
Love you!!
Mitzi

 

[shelovesChrist]

That's the miracle of Christ in us. Where we are weak His power can fill in the holes in such a way that we know without a shadow of a doubt that it's His strength that enables us.

amen

but it also knows for sure that I am ready to suffer every day for the rest of my life and even die rather than to lose my faith and god.

That's what I'm talking about Christian. When you're grounded on the word, regardless if it's OCD, worldly trials, etc etc , you will still stand strong because we're grounded on the truth and nothing can shake that! We are in the Lord's hands =] And sometimes just that alone gets me through, knowing that no matter how bad it looks, it's only temporary, because our Lord never fails. Praying.

Mathew 7

24 Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:
25 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.

Mathew 16 : 18

And I say unto thee, That thou art Peer, and upon this rock I will bu

 

[Christian-Catholic]

You have an inspiring spirit Christian! We're blessed to have you here.
What the OCD does is look for something to constantly chew on - if you refuse to attend to one particular obsession it will come up with another one or it will twist the first one round to make it seem like it's a wholly different question. But in reality the feared outcome or consequence of it possibly being true is generally the same. I call this - "variation on a familiar theme." If an illness could be diabolical - well OCD would fit the bill.
Keep on telling it "where to get off!"
Mitzi

Hello again Mitzi, Since my last post things seem to be getting much worse. It seems the more I tell the ocd that I wont give in the stronger it gets. It feels like a never ending spirul that is slowly destroying me inside and out. On top of that I have a mother that keeps calling me a wimp and is worried about the family reputation within her community. I'm starting to think the best option for me is to get myself institutionalized and prepare myself to suffer the rest of my life.
I'm sleeping with a huge cross under my pillow and begging the lord to take this agony away from me.
I really don't know what to do anymore
I am so sorry to bring this up on during easter

 

[gracealone]

Hi Christian,
Firstly please do not apologize for sharing your agony with us. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you right now and especially how it makes your Easter so painful.
Hear me on this... this is not your fault. These thoughts are uncontrolled events and the emotional horror that they create in you is also an uncontrolled event.
I understand about your mom too. My mom is a wonderful Christian woman but many years ago when I first got sick with this, her lack of understanding about OCD/anxiety disorders made her act in a very similar manner. I know that she was really scared about what was happening to me and thought that I should be able to pull my self up by my own bootstraps and just get over it. You have to press through her misinformed reaction to this and seek help. There will come a day when you will be able to educate her about your disorder - but for now you just have to do the things that will help you get better. Go and see your GP if you haven't already and tell them that you need to get into see someone who specializes in treating OCD. Look for a Dr. who uses Exposure and Response Prevention therapy. That's very important. You may also need meds. if you aren't already on them. That is more than OK - often it is a necessary thing in order to assist you with the therapy.
When I said to tell the OCD "where to get off" I didn't mean that you should fight it. In fact you need to treat the thoughts as if they don't matter at all. Take a passive attitude toward them. You will still hear them but try very hard to ignore them just as if they were meaningless static on the radio.
Putting the cross under your pillow is a compulsive response to the thoughts. All efforts to gain some feeling of reassurance in response to the thoughts is categorized as a compulsion. The reason we don't want to engage in the compulsive side of the disorder is that when we do we are giving the thoughts too much importance. We are making them weighty, important, urgent and this gets them all the more stuck in our heads. Our brain begins to focus on them very intently and sees them as a big emergency that needs attending to 24/7. When we wake up they are there, when we lay our head on the pillow at night they are there.
Above all else you must accept that this is a disorder and that you will treat it as such. When we have an illness the most common senes approach is to get into a Dr. who is skilled in the treatment of it. This is what will alleviate our suffering.
I'm praying for you, for direction, for courage to seek help and for the grit and determination you will need to manage this disorder.
You are a lovely, intelligent and precious individual. God has plans for your life and OCD has no ability to impede or inhibit Him.
"If our heart condemns us - GOD is greater than our heart."
Mitzi

Hello again Mitzi, Since my last post things seem to be getting much worse. It seems the more I tell the ocd that I wont give in the stronger it gets. It feels like a never ending spirul that is slowly destroying me inside and out. On top of that I have a mother that keeps calling me a wimp and is worried about the family reputation within her community. I'm starting to think the best option for me is to get myself institutionalized and prepare myself to suffer the rest of my life.
I'm sleeping with a huge cross under my pillow and begging the lord to take this agony away from me.
I really don't know what to do anymore
I am so sorry to bring this up on during easter

 

[annrobert]

Above all else you must accept that this is a disorder and that you will treat it as such. When we have an illness the most common senes approach is to get into a Dr. who is skilled in the treatment of it. This is what will alleviate our suffering.
I'm praying for you, for direction, for courage to seek help and for the grit and determination you will need to manage this disorder.
You are a lovely, intelligent and precious individual. God has plans for your life and OCD has no ability to impede or inhibit Him.
"If our heart condemns us - GOD is greater than our heart."
Mitzi

amen, I agree getting help is so important to help with this.
seeing a therapist and doctor and getting medication has helped so many people with this illness.
I am sorry that you are suffering so much, I too went through it for so very long.

Jesus does hold every single one of us in His hand , even when we are suffering.Even more so then.

He cares.

the thoughts/feelings will never seperate us from His love.

 

[Christian-Catholic]

Hi Christian,
Firstly please do not apologize for sharing your agony with us. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you right now and especially how it makes your Easter so painful.
Hear me on this... this is not your fault. These thoughts are uncontrolled events and the emotional horror that they create in you is also an uncontrolled event.
I understand about your mom too. My mom is a wonderful Christian woman but many years ago when I first got sick with this, her lack of understanding about OCD/anxiety disorders made her act in a very similar manner. I know that she was really scared about what was happening to me and thought that I should be able to pull my self up by my own bootstraps and just get over it. You have to press through her misinformed reaction to this and seek help. There will come a day when you will be able to educate her about your disorder - but for now you just have to do the things that will help you get better. Go and see your GP if you haven't already and tell them that you need to get into see someone who specializes in treating OCD. Look for a Dr. who uses Exposure and Response Prevention therapy. That's very important. You may also need meds. if you aren't already on them. That is more than OK - often it is a necessary thing in order to assist you with the therapy.
When I said to tell the OCD "where to get off" I didn't mean that you should fight it. In fact you need to treat the thoughts as if they don't matter at all. Take a passive attitude toward them. You will still hear them but try very hard to ignore them just as if they were meaningless static on the radio.
Putting the cross under your pillow is a compulsive response to the thoughts. All efforts to gain some feeling of reassurance in response to the thoughts is categorized as a compulsion. The reason we don't want to engage in the compulsive side of the disorder is that when we do we are giving the thoughts too much importance. We are making them weighty, important, urgent and this gets them all the more stuck in our heads. Our brain begins to focus on them very intently and sees them as a big emergency that needs attending to 24/7. When we wake up they are there, when we lay our head on the pillow at night they are there.
Above all else you must accept that this is a disorder and that you will treat it as such. When we have an illness the most common senes approach is to get into a Dr. who is skilled in the treatment of it. This is what will alleviate our suffering.
I'm praying for you, for direction, for courage to seek help and for the grit and determination you will need to manage this disorder.
You are a lovely, intelligent and precious individual. God has plans for your life and OCD has no ability to impede or inhibit Him.
"If our heart condemns us - GOD is greater than our heart."
Mitzi

Thank you so much Mitzi for taking the time again to respond to my post. Today I went to church for easter mass and experienced a few minutes of clarity that i took advantage of to pray. It felt good but just as soon as the moments of clarity ended the thoughts came back again. They seem determined more then ever to make me believe that everything I believe in is a myth and irrational and unprovable and that I am just a biological robot. I have started to compile a list of hypnotherapists and regular therapists that I will contact on monday.

My uncle told me he has a very good therapist that has helped many of his friends and he said that he can help me also. He isnt a christian, should I use him? It seems like anytime im happy in prayer or thinking about God here they come back again trying to convince it that its all not real and that it is really me that believes this way. I will definately ask my uncle if the therapist uses Exposure and Response Prevention therapy. This therapist is over 70 and could have retired a long time ago but stays in his profession because he just loves to see the smiles on the peoples faces that he helps. He has helped a few close friends of my uncles that go to his church. As for hypnotherapy I will use a christian hypnotherapist (allready have a list of a few that I will also call on monday as they were all closed on easter weekend.

My mind is stuck in analytical mode and demands proof for everything I believe in. I dont know why its stuck in this mode and how this happened.

Annrobert, thank you also for your post. It is posts like yours, Mitzis and all the other people that have posted here that have given me hope.
I cant wait to start getting the help that I need.

Happy Easter everyone
Im begging Our lord and Savior Jesus Christ to put the strength within me to get through this. Right now I feel like that lost sheep in the wilderness, but I know that when he grabs me back into the flock again I will rejoice like I never have before.

 

[zingiber]

About the non-christian therapist - obviously Christian is better (better understanding, etc.); however, my therapist was a non-christian, and no one could have helped me so well as she. You see, OCD is more of a brain disorder than a spiritual thing, so your therapist need not be Christian in order to help you deal with your thoughts. By the sound of it, he is a good fellow, so I would not hesitate to see him. When he is past retirement age and still passionate, you can be pretty sure he is in it for the love of it, and will do a good job.

 

[gracealone]

Hi Christian,
Yes... just like Zingiber said, definitely go see the professional therapist. He gave you great counsel.
I know this is a difficult step for you but it is exactly what you need to do in order to begin learning how to manage this disorder. You will need to be transparent about the thoughts and the associated anxiety they create in you. Be sure to emphasize that you don't want to think them but they won't leave you alone. I'm glad you are going to bring up ERP therapy as it is the most effective at treating this disorder. It's not a good idea to engage with the thoughts in any sort of debating or counter statement methods. I was told to do that sort of thing by a therapist and it only made the thoughts seem more valid and urgent - as if they really did need my undivided attention.
One book that I really cherish and could relate to so tremendously was John Bunyan's "Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners." It's an account of his struggle with religious OCD. It's a bit like reading your own story if you have this type of OCD.
I will be praying for you as you take these important steps toward recovery. You'll get there... even though it may take some time. Take it one day, even one hour at at time. Progress can only be measured over the long haul so patience and a steadfast attitude will serve you well.
Keep in touch!
Mitzi

Thank you so much Mitzi for taking the time again to respond to my post. Today I went to church for easter mass and experienced a few minutes of clarity that i took advantage of to pray. It felt good but just as soon as the moments of clarity ended the thoughts came back again. They seem determined more then ever to make me believe that everything I believe in is a myth and irrational and unprovable and that I am just a biological robot. I have started to compile a list of hypnotherapists and regular therapists that I will contact on monday.

My uncle told me he has a very good therapist that has helped many of his friends and he said that he can help me also. He isnt a christian, should I use him? It seems like anytime im happy in prayer or thinking about God here they come back again trying to convince it that its all not real and that it is really me that believes this way. I will definately ask my uncle if the therapist uses Exposure and Response Prevention therapy. This therapist is over 70 and could have retired a long time ago but stays in his profession because he just loves to see the smiles on the peoples faces that he helps. He has helped a few close friends of my uncles that go to his church. As for hypnotherapy I will use a christian hypnotherapist (allready have a list of a few that I will also call on monday as they were all closed on easter weekend.

My mind is stuck in analytical mode and demands proof for everything I believe in. I dont know why its stuck in this mode and how this happened.

Annrobert, thank you also for your post. It is posts like yours, Mitzis and all the other people that have posted here that have given me hope.
I cant wait to start getting the help that I need.

Happy Easter everyone
Im begging Our lord and Savior Jesus Christ to put the strength within me to get through this. Right now I feel like that lost sheep in the wilderness, but I know that when he grabs me back into the flock again I will rejoice like I never have before.

 

[kaykay9.0]

Hi Christian,
Firstly please do not apologize for sharing your agony with us. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you right now and especially how it makes your Easter so painful.
Hear me on this... this is not your fault. These thoughts are uncontrolled events and the emotional horror that they create in you is also an uncontrolled event.
I understand about your mom too. My mom is a wonderful Christian woman but many years ago when I first got sick with this, her lack of understanding about OCD/anxiety disorders made her act in a very similar manner. I know that she was really scared about what was happening to me and thought that I should be able to pull my self up by my own bootstraps and just get over it. You have to press through her misinformed reaction to this and seek help. There will come a day when you will be able to educate her about your disorder - but for now you just have to do the things that will help you get better. Go and see your GP if you haven't already and tell them that you need to get into see someone who specializes in treating OCD. Look for a Dr. who uses Exposure and Response Prevention therapy. That's very important. You may also need meds. if you aren't already on them. That is more than OK - often it is a necessary thing in order to assist you with the therapy.
When I said to tell the OCD "where to get off" I didn't mean that you should fight it. In fact you need to treat the thoughts as if they don't matter at all. Take a passive attitude toward them. You will still hear them but try very hard to ignore them just as if they were meaningless static on the radio.
Putting the cross under your pillow is a compulsive response to the thoughts. All efforts to gain some feeling of reassurance in response to the thoughts is categorized as a compulsion. The reason we don't want to engage in the compulsive side of the disorder is that when we do we are giving the thoughts too much importance. We are making them weighty, important, urgent and this gets them all the more stuck in our heads. Our brain begins to focus on them very intently and sees them as a big emergency that needs attending to 24/7. When we wake up they are there, when we lay our head on the pillow at night they are there.
Above all else you must accept that this is a disorder and that you will treat it as such. When we have an illness the most common senes approach is to get into a Dr. who is skilled in the treatment of it. This is what will alleviate our suffering.
I'm praying for you, for direction, for courage to seek help and for the grit and determination you will need to manage this disorder.
You are a lovely, intelligent and precious individual. God has plans for your life and OCD has no ability to impede or inhibit Him.
"If our heart condemns us - GOD is greater than our heart."
Mitzi

Along these lines of what Mitzi is telling you, if you have never done so, I would recommend reading the articles on this website by a Dr. Phillipson.

www.ocdonline.com
He doesn't approach it from a Christian perspective, (my one caveat here) but I think his insights and discussion of the matter is excellent and well worth reading. He describes how this type of "pure O" OCD affects people and how best to battle it.

Also, praying for you and praying God will lead you to the best counselor for you.

 

[Christian-Catholic]

Thank you KayKay, gonna check it out.

 

[gracealone]

Glad you brought that up KayKay. I find his articles on pure "O" to be very helpful - also the video discussion is excellent.
Thanks for adding that.
Mitzi

Along these lines of what Mitzi is telling you, if you have never done so, I would recommend reading the articles on this website by a Dr. Phillipson.

www.ocdonline.com
He doesn't approach it from a Christian perspective, (my one caveat here) but I think his insights and discussion of the matter is excellent and well worth reading. He describes how this type of "pure O" OCD affects people and how best to battle it.

Also, praying for you and praying God will lead you to the best counselor for you.

 

[Christian-Catholic]

Hey everyone, I had my worst attacks yesterday as for some reason the thoughts punded me harder then ever. I had to go to a relatives house with the rest of my family but for some reason I told them that I would follow them after in my car. Something told me to search online and instead of searching through google I did my search in bing for a christian hypnotherapist in my area. Lo and behold I found a lutheran pastor that was not to far away that also has a phd in pyschology, and on top of that he was a certified hypnotherapist.
Mitzi, I will ask him if he practices the method that you told me about.
I felt like i nailed 2 birds in one stone with finding this guy.
I love all you folks for caring enough to respond. God bless you all
I can do all things Through Christ (even in this supposed darkness )

 

[kaykay9.0]

Hope things go well for you~

 

[shelovesChrist]

Hi Christian Catholic,

Hope all is going well and goes well. Hope you had a good day today. I love how you take time to praise God throughout your moments of peace. Sometimes I find myself thinking, hey, my brain is actually quite and I thank God and it used to bring more thoughts, and that would become frustrating but He knows. These thoughts can really wear you thin, especially the thoughts of doubt because all you want to do even if you don't have all the answers is believe and all they seem to want to do is want proof and its straining. But I'm just glad to know that we serve an awesome God whose gifts are for everyone. In this battle, hold onto your faith, and try not to focus on what you can't do, but what the Lord can and will do through you and for you. Praying =] Take it day by day .

Mathew 21: 22 And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receieve.