Ocd related accidental vows

[Kywy]

Hi,
I just wanted to know what other people thought about accidental or unintentional vows. I have OCD and i get a lot of vows tormenting my mind to give up hobbies that I enjoy. I still struggle with this but have gotten better at knowing that God knows my heart and that these are just intrusive thoughts. But what if the thought isnt exactly intrustive? For example, what if u use your vow to counter a negative thought but u didnt mean the vow? What I mean is one time when i was praying a thought popped in my head while i was praying that said, "i'm not giving this (hobby) up for you." I immediately panicked because it was negative thought towards God and i said in my mind immedialetly, "yes i do!" This of course cause more anxiety and i started repetitively telling God i didnt mean to make a promise to give up my hobby for him. I know we arent supposed to make vows and i know I didnt want to make that vow. I know you are probably thinking what reason would i have to make that promise and i have no idea why i did it. Would a unintentional vow like this still be binding? In Eclessiastes 5 it says not to call your vow a mistake and not to speak rashly or quickly with your mouth or heart. I feel as though this thought/vow was prettt rash with my heart. Please help

 

[Mari17]

The fear of making vows that you don't want to make is a classic OCD fear! Your mind is trying to trick you. The reason you thought "I'm not giving this up for you" in the first place was because of OCD. As hard as it is, you have to trust your instincts and trust that the "vow" is not a real vow. Your mind is so afraid of making vows that it is making you think you make them even if you don't. Does that make sense?

 

[Kywy]

Yeah it makes sense. Just this one wasnt exactly intrusive. This vow that i am worried about was more compulsive as in i did it impulsively to counter a negative thought. Kind of rash imo. But the Bible says no rash vows. Does this this mean just people who quickly say stuff to God because they want something or does it also include rash accidental thoughts?

Also reading the AMP version of the bible (dont know if this one is an accurate translation of God's word) it mentions "impulsive" vows.

 

[Mari17]

Your mind is definitely trying to trick you! It's a trademark of OCD. Your job now is to say "no" to OCD by refusing to give into its mind game. You want to try to figure this out, but the quickest way to get rid of OCD is to refuse to argue with it anymore. It's painful, but let yourself live with the reality that you may have made a vow you didn't want to make. If you stick with it long enough, your brain will eventually realize that it really wasn't a true vow. Trust me, I know this is a lot harder than it seems. I've struggled with OCD for years, and though I've had a lot of victory, I still am sometimes engulfed by it. Keep reaching out and asking for support if you need it. It's a tremendous battle, but there is freedom on the other side!

 

[Kywy]

Ive been trying to ignore the thoughts but i keep getting caught up in overanalyzing the thoughts. Thank you for your responses!

 

[Mari17]

I hear you! I was mostly OCD-free for several years until I recently got blindsided by a new obsession, so I'm going through the same thing. It's the hardest thing in the world to do, but the key is to let yourself be anxious and ride through the anxiety until it sees itself for the lie that it is! Praying that God helps you have victory!

 

[Kywy]

One other question though. Sometimes when i ger extreme anxiety and say my prayers quietly out loud to drown out the thoughts in my head. So i think i might have said the "yes i do!" Part out loud. My question is, since this was prayed out loud, does that change the validity of it and make it binding even if i dont mean it?

 

[Mari17]

What do you think? I know it's hard to tell the difference, but what do you think the non-OCD part of your brain is telling you?

 

[Kywy]

I think that we should keep any vows we make to God but i know this vow is a vow i would never with a clear mind purposely set out to make. Thats why this is so difficult. I also have been told God looks at the heart not just at what you say.

 

[Mari17]

The OCD part of your brain is still trying to get you to question whether or not you have made a vow, and is causing you to overanalyze the situation. It sounds like your compulsion is seeking reassurance. The healthiest way to deal with OCD is actually to stop asking for reassurance (even though it's totally painful) and live with the anxiety until your brain "re-calibrates." Are you familiar with ERP methods? With ERP you actually invite in the fear, making your anxiety worse, until your brain accepts that you are being overly fearful. It sounds awful, I know, but apparently it's the quickest way to overcome OCD. I've never officially been to therapy but I've been doing a lot of research about the best ways to handle OCD, and have been using some of the methods myself. If you don't have a therapist who uses ERP and CBT methods to fight OCD, I highly recommend getting a book or two and reading up on it. I can recommend some, or some great websites.

 

[Kywy]

Thanks! Ive seen mention of ERP but i never knew what it was. I will try that. Also what is CBT? Is that like the same kind of thing?

 

[Mari17]

As far as I understand, ERP is when you expose yourself to your fears, and CBT is when you replace the lies in your brain with truths. The author Jackie Lea Sommers has some EXCELLENT information (from a Christian perspective!) on her site, so I'm giving you the link to that, and also the link to a Christian psychiatrist's website that I've found helpful. Please check them out!
religious scrupulosity | JACKIE LEA SOMMERS
http://ocdandchristianity.com/

 

[Kywy]

Thank you so much!

 

[Kywy]

Sorry. Another question. I talked to my pastor about this problem and i think i told God i would take his advice. He said if i have any doubts whether i should be doing the hobby then he thinks i should stop doing it for a while a see if my thinking changes. I have OCD so this is a problem. As you know the doubts are ALWAYS going to be there. I've pretty much realized that my vows arent rea because i reject them and i didnt want to make them in the first place. But the fear of losing my hobby causes me to doubt anyways.

 

[Kywy]

Also can someone explain exactly what is a vow and what validates it and why mine would not be considered a valid vow? Im so worried about willfuly sinning against my conscience because according to the bible this is unforgiveable to i dont want to lose my salvation.

 

[DeerGlow]

Also can someone explain exactly what is a vow and what validates it and why mine would not be considered a valid vow? Im so worried about willfuly sinning against my conscience because according to the bible this is unforgiveable to i dont want to lose my salvation.

There is something someone told me (based on Numbers 30) that I posted in another thread and multiquote isn't working for me so you'll have to look here for my post. The point I think is that God can void hasty vows and in Numbers it says (latest edit: the passage in Numbers speaks about a father or husband voiding a woman’s vows) and the LORD would forgive those vows. It has been argued against me that we are not under the Old Testament but the new, look over these scriptures (in context, it would be worth it for you to read the whole chapter Numbers 30) and then look at my conclusions and and see if you think they are valid and scriptural. Test the things you hear to make sure they are of God, not doctrines of man or decievers.
Edited because that first part did not need to be said.
Edited to my quotation to a paraphrase.

 

[Kywy]

I get what you are saying but i dont really agree with the whole voiding vows i dont think its biblical. Besides christians arent under the law anymore so it doesnt work like that imo. I may be wrong.

 

[DeerGlow]

.

 

[faroukfarouk]

I get what you are saying but i dont really agree with the whole voiding vows i dont think its biblical. Besides christians arent under the law anymore so it doesnt work like that imo. I may be wrong.

Hebrews 7 is a great chapter which shows (7.12) that the New Testament believer is not under the law and that (7.19) what we have now is "better" (an operative word in Hebrews) than the law.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Well, it's always best to use discernment. Pray to God for discernment and truth, and don't take anyone's (even mine) word without any thought or checking of your own.

Just goes to show how much daily prayer and the Scriptures are essential for discernment.