OCD and pregnancy/family

[jenzbugrulz1978]

Hey everyone. My name is Jenny and I have had severe OCD since I was about 8. I have a wonderful husband and one 8 year old daughter and am pg with our second child. With my first pg the ocd got sooo bad. This pg the doc ok'd for me to stay on my Luvox and it has worked well (although I halved the dose) most of the pg. Up until a few weeks ago the half dose was working pretty well although I had a few more struggles than when it is full dose (which I expected to happen). Now I am about 1.5 weeks away from my Due Date and these hormones or the reduced dose (maybe both) have been making it very difficult for me and my family.
My husband and I have noticed that this last month I have been more repetitive and make a big deal about things that aren't big deals. For example, my daughter has this gross habit of nose picking...I realize the more I say the more she does but it just grosses me out so I have been mentioning it more! Also, she tends to not pick up after herself well (what 8 y/o does) and I find myself nagging more. Here is where the ocd really gets me: I start feeling guilty for being such a nag and then after disciplining her I go apologize to her because I am afraid I am damaging her self-esteem. (I am one semester away from a psych degree and maybe that is not good lol). Husband thinks apologizing to her about my discipline is going to be more damaging to her than my nitpickiness as of late. Although he has noticed me repeating myself a lot more and being more grumpy/nitpicky he basically thinks I am being too hard on myself and doesn't think I am being too bad. Anyhow, after this stuff happens I cry and feel guilty for hours even though what I do/say isn't extremely bad. Then a few hours later I am practically laughing about it because I realize how irrational my thinking was!
Anyhow, I am going to get back on the full dose because I don't want my family to suffer anymore and I don't want to either.
This is so hard for me because there aren't any female friends I have that have ocd and have had to make the choice of staying on an SSRI during pg, etc etc. I don't want the ocd to stop me from having a family and yet I don't always feel comfy with the meds while pg even though I obviously need them.

 

[gracealone]

HI,
Even without the issue of being pregnant while on OCD meds. , I can still have a sense of guilt or failure over having to take the meds. This is often a huge hurdle for folk with OCD getting the help that they need for the disorder. We somehow feel that the OCD is all our fault and that it is a character flaw or weakness or (worse yet), a spiritual problem instead of a real disorder.
I believe it would be more disastrous to go off the meds. and suffer an overall worsening of your OCD which would have a negative impact even on your physical health and the health of your unborn child.
My daughter has taken an SSRI through two pregnancies and her boys were both born with perfect health.
Your OB would certainly tell you if taking the meds. was dangerous. You have to let go of the guilt... you are doing the right thing, like you said, not just for your sake but for the sake of your whole family.
Remember that OCD causes us to over examine and second guess ourselves... obsessively.
Your not alone though... I understand... and am praying for you.
Mitzi

 

[Ketsagirl]

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I took zoloft with first son. I also apologize and obsess I will scar my kids for life with my parenting mistakes. I am 37 weeks pregnant and I will say I think our hormones go a little wacky the last month. Just hang in there you are almost done. Once you have baby you can take as much meds as needed to feel stable. I have not taken any meds this pregnancy and feel like a LOON!! These last few weeks I also am being very obsessive. If you need to talk just send me an instant message ok?

Jessica

 

[stacii]

I am staying on the meds throughout my pregnancy. I'm almost at 20 weeks and there are good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks. I did not change my dose because it was such a small dose to begin with, but I still am noticing that I'm not feeling as well as I did before I was pregnant. I think hormones have a lot to do with, as well as things like a disturbed schedule, a constant battle against hunger (and subsequently stabilized blood sugar), sleepiness or lack of sleep altogether...Whenever my body is out of rhythm I struggle like this - and I can honestly say, that I am WAY out rhythm now that I'm pregnant. Hang in there. We are all going to be just fine...

 

[jenzbugrulz1978]

Thank you girls sooo much for your support! It is a struggle but I am almost there! My EDD is aug 31. That is neat that the two of you are pg too.

Mitzi--it is good to hear that your grandchildren are in good health. That has been one of my worries but in all reality my ocd is so severe that it is really a necessity for me. Are you ocd too?

 

[Ketsagirl]

My EDD is Sept 14!!!

 

[jenzbugrulz1978]

Congrats to you ! You are probably considered full term now right?

 

[BeccaLynn]

Although I am not pregnant right now, I remember when I was and the horrid time I had with my emotions. I was on an anti-depressant for the first 6 weeks of pregnancy, yet I didn't realize I was pregnant. I hadn't been on the medication but probably a little over a couple of months altogether. I went off of it when I found out I was pregnant. I spent my entire pregnancy worrying what I had done to my unborn child. I was told that if anything, the stress I was feeling would cause more complications than the medicine, which seemed to cause me stress over being stressed. I would look at my son's ultrasound pictures and think that I didn't see fingers and toes like I should, etc. I was a mess! By the way, he has all fingers and toes and is very smart., but then I fretted over all the emotional dammage I did to him due to the worrying instead of enjoying the fact that there was a growing life inside of me. The things to worry about can seem endless to someone with OCD. I have been on other medications in the past, including Luvox, but I am not on any now. I constantly feel like I have messed up so terribly with my son and that I've scarred him for life. I end up apologizing a lot because I never feel I've made the right parenting decision. I have worried that my apologizing so much to him will make him think that I'm incapable of making decisions and that he will lose respect for me. I know it can all be so overwhelming, especially if you have a strong-willed child. You're not alone in struggling with parenting. It would be a struggle anyway, but OCD can intesify things so much.!

Rebecca

 

[stacii]

FYI to all the ladies on this thread who are going through this with me:

My doctor insisted on a dose increase today. She said that the increase in dose does not increase the likelihood of anything being wrong with my baby. In fact, I was having panic attacks almost on the hour and she was concerned even more about the lack of oxygen and blood flow. Plus I wasn't able to eat. At first this all made me freak out, but after just a few days with this new dose, I am feeling much more like myself. Happy, excited, nervous about the baby, but not freaking out.

She also wants me to return to therapy and maybe see a psychiatrists who specializes in PPD - she thinks I may be at an increased risk but that I may be able to avoid it with proper care now.

I'm a little scared, but doing okay I think.....

 

[stacii]

Oh and as a PS - I've been very sick this pregnancy. Throwing up multiple times every day and very dizzy and just kind of a mess. She said that the persistent sickness is likely to be the cause of all of this extra anxiety and depression....