OCD and Praying

[SoldierOfSoul]

I have struggled with this for years. I find it so hard to focus when I pray, I don't know how I should think about God when I pray. Sometimes I focus on the work of the cross, or His character, but usually it doesn't feel right for some reason so I end up repeating the prayer many times until I feel I have said it correctly. Also when I pray, my thoughts start getting jumbled and sometimes turn blasphemous and I can't focus on the prayer at hand. It is getting worse lately and I don't know what to do about it. I try and ignore it, but the anxiety gets worse. I just can't shake the feeling that God is not pleased with my prayer, that for some reason God does not accept it. Also when I come to the part of my prayer, where I say a name of God (especially Father or Jesus) it is the worst. Hope this makes sense. Any advice?

 

[OCD=Owie]

I have struggled with this for years. I find it so hard to focus when I pray, I don't know how I should think about God when I pray. Sometimes I focus on the work of the cross, or His character, but usually it doesn't feel right for some reason so I end up repeating the prayer many times until I feel I have said it correctly. Also when I pray, my thoughts start getting jumbled and sometimes turn blasphemous and I can't focus on the prayer at hand. It is getting worse lately and I don't know what to do about it. I try and ignore it, but the anxiety gets worse. I just can't shake the feeling that God is not pleased with my prayer, that for some reason God does not accept it. Also when I come to the part of my prayer, where I say a name of God (especially Father or Jesus) it is the worst. Hope this makes sense. Any advice?

It definitely makes sense. I've had this symptom since I was very young, and it hasn't completely healed to this day. I used to feel like I had to imagine God in a certain way, and that I had to say things in a certain way in order to actually "mean" them.

I think that the important thing to remember is that prayer isn't a systematic process. It's a conversation with God. You could do anything from talking to an empty chair with you eyes open, to writing your prayer down on a piece of paper and putting it on your nightstand or something.

And I'm not sure if this is what you meant, but I have troubles paying attention during prayer time. I used to be really worried about that, until my pastor said that he would space out during prayer too. I think getting distracted like that is normal for human beings, and it's something that we should work to curb, but it isn't something that we should freak out about. When you realize that you're spacing out, just go right back to praying without worrying about it.

Another thing you should take into account is that feelings are subjective, and with sufferers of OCD, are often untrustworthy. Just because you feel that God doesn't find your prayer acceptable, doesn't mean that it is true.

One thing that has helped me with obsessive prayers is to try and not pray the same exact thing every night. Mix it up a bit from time to time.

 

[babegirl111]

Loved your post Ocd=Owie, definitely know what your going through. Still to this day I repeat stuff in my prayers. It gets frustrating because if my mind spaces out for just a second and I cant remember what i said, I automatically think I may have spoken something bad by accident and feel i need to ask for forgiveness. So a lot of times, my prayers include me asking for forgivness 20 times lol, so i know what you mean!!!

 

[OCD=Owie]

Thanks! It's a pain all right. I'm a lot better than I used to be, but I still have a lot of OCD problems with my prayers.

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

Yeah Owie, ever since I was 9 or 10 I have had this obsession, I don't know how to get passed it, I will try and practice some of the things you said though, thanks, God bless.

 

[OCD=Owie]

No problem. Good luck!

 

[Mr. Runningfish]

I view it as a conversation with God. Sometimes I start with Lord, God, Father- sometimes I just start talking. Sometimes I say in the name of Jesus, in the blood of Jesus, Amen- sometimes I just stop talking.

OCD=Owie usually posts some good information, and I've tried some of his methods and thought processes, for me it is amazing to see a difference. I no longer obsess (nearly as much) about how I pray, or what I pray.

I've learned that my feelings betray me, and just because I feel them, that doesn't mean they are true. What do I know to be true? God wants you to pray. He wants the closeness that prayer brings. IMO, he doesn't care how we do it, or if we space out- just just wants us to be close.

 

[gracealone]

I think this may be kind of related to the magical thinking of our OCD. We have to say or do something "just right" for it to be effective. I always think that if I don't say, "In Jesus' name, Amen", that my whole prayer will be cancelled or not delivered to heaven, as if it were a password or something that let my prayer into the presence of God. Every Christian struggles with their prayer life from one degree to another, whether it's inattention or intruding thoughts etc. But not every Christian has OCD so they don't become hyperscrupulous about it. Thankfully the scripture tells us that when we don't know how to pray that the Spirit does it for us "with groanings and utterings" that we cannot hear. I like the verse that says "He knows my frame and remembers that I am dust." I think this means He understands just how weak and easily unsettled I am, just the slightest poof of "wind" and I'm a mess. But the very reason He has come is to right all those dust like things about me and it isn't my work it's His. In the end it will all come right. Not because I deserve it but because of who He is - for me, to me, in me and through me. Just keep on approaching him in prayer. He doesn't demand perfection He only wants for you to want to come.
Mitzi

Yeah Owie, ever since I was 9 or 10 I have had this obsession, I don't know how to get passed it, I will try and practice some of the things you said though, thanks, God bless.

 

[OCD=Owie]

I view it as a conversation with God. Sometimes I start with Lord, God, Father- sometimes I just start talking. Sometimes I say in the name of Jesus, in the blood of Jesus, Amen- sometimes I just stop talking.

OCD=Owie usually posts some good information, and I've tried some of his methods and thought processes, for me it is amazing to see a difference. I no longer obsess (nearly as much) about how I pray, or what I pray.

I've learned that my feelings betray me, and just because I feel them, that doesn't mean they are true. What do I know to be true? God wants you to pray. He wants the closeness that prayer brings. IMO, he doesn't care how we do it, or if we space out- just just wants us to be close.

Thanks! I'm glad is helps.

And Mitzi, I totally agree with the way you explained it. Everyone has difficulties with prayers to some degree, but we tend to panic when we experience the same troubles.

 

[tripletiger1200]

I have that, and usually when I say the words that trigger my thoughts I follow them with a compulsive phrase. I don't know if I would recommend that , although it has stopped my thoughts. It has just formed a habit that is going to be hard to break. I sometimes wonder if it annoys God, but then I think that it's probably a lot less irritating to Him than the thoughts that would come out instead.

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

I have that, and usually when I say the words that trigger my thoughts I follow them with a compulsive phrase. I don't know if I would recommend that , although it has stopped my thoughts. It has just formed a habit that is going to be hard to break. I sometimes wonder if it annoys God, but then I think that it's probably a lot less irritating to Him than the thoughts that would come out instead.

OCD always morphs into something else it seems, I know this personally, I conquer one compulsion only to have it slowly reemerge as something else...I guess it's that our OCD minds are hardwired for compulsive thinking, no matter what.

 

[Migdala]

I have struggled with this for years. I find it so hard to focus when I pray, I don't know how I should think about God when I pray. Sometimes I focus on the work of the cross, or His character, but usually it doesn't feel right for some reason so I end up repeating the prayer many times until I feel I have said it correctly. Also when I pray, my thoughts start getting jumbled and sometimes turn blasphemous and I can't focus on the prayer at hand. It is getting worse lately and I don't know what to do about it. I try and ignore it, but the anxiety gets worse. I just can't shake the feeling that God is not pleased with my prayer, that for some reason God does not accept it. Also when I come to the part of my prayer, where I say a name of God (especially Father or Jesus) it is the worst. Hope this makes sense. Any advice?

I've had similar things happen myself, only my problems are more when I'm NOT praying, but just trying to focus on God. I have no idea how to focus on Him! I start trying to imagine Jesus on the cross, then I try to imagine Him in Heaven, then I start thinking that it's a sin to even imagine Him at all, because it's like having a graven image or something! OCD is a horrible disease!
What may help you is to buy a prayer manual-there are a lot of them out there, but I like Gloria Copeland's "Prayers that avail much". Also, you can get a bottle of annointing oil, ask God to bless it, and then annoint your forehead and plead the blood of Jesus over your mind, and ask God to conform your mind to Christ. That has helped me a lot.

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

I've had similar things happen myself, only my problems are more when I'm NOT praying, but just trying to focus on God. I have no idea how to focus on Him! I start trying to imagine Jesus on the cross, then I try to imagine Him in Heaven, then I start thinking that it's a sin to even imagine Him at all, because it's like having a graven image or something! OCD is a horrible disease!

Wow, that sound's exactly like me! Except that happens when I'm praying. Do you struggle like that when you pray also?

What may help you is to buy a prayer manual-there are a lot of them out there, but I like Gloria Copeland's "Prayers that avail much". Also, you can get a bottle of annointing oil, ask God to bless it, and then annoint your forehead and plead the blood of Jesus over your mind, and ask God to conform your mind to Christ. That has helped me a lot.

Thanks I will try that. I believe OCD has turned into a form of spiritual warfare for me personally.

 

[Migdala]

Wow, that sound's exactly like me! Except that happens when I'm praying. Do you struggle like that when you pray also?




Thanks I will try that. I believe OCD has turned into a form of spiritual warfare for me personally.

No, I don't struggle too much with it when I pray really, just when I'm not praying. I have had a lot of blasphemous thoughts of cussing out Jesus-that's one of my worst problems with OCD. The absolute worst though, is doubting whether I'm saved-that's where I've struggled. Laying on the floor crying, begging Jesus to save me over and over.

I've struggled with negative words, and God showed me over and over that my words kept me in bondage. I've spoken negative words about myself and my salvation, and the OCD got worse. When I spoke positive words, I was better. But when a person has OCD, it's like their brain is "broken" almost, and when they are stuck on an obsessive thought, they can't see the answer, even if it is right in front of their face.

My mind has gone into different obsessions over the years. One obsession I had for a few months was to try to figure out God's real name. It really bothered me a lot, and I would stay up all hours of the night stressing over it, going to website after website trying to figure it out. Thankfully my brain got out of that gear, and I look back now and think "why on earth did it even bother me?" lol

I know, without a doubt that the words we speak bring life or death to us. I know this. Keep saying over and over that God has given you a sound mind! Try some of the vitamins and supplements out there too, your body may be defecient in some of them.

God bless!