Not sure..

[Zerorio91]

im not sure whats going on with me lately. i had my first crush on a gurl when i was 9 and i liked her for three years. i never felt like i was different or anything. i liked gurls without and doubts until i was about 13, then i went through a really bad depression and thought i might like guys for a little bit, but as soon as i started high school the feelings went away and i didn't think about it at all. i was in a couple serious relationships also.
but in the the last couple weeks ive been having problems. im dating this amazing gurl and ive liked her for a while now, shes also a really strong christian so shes been helping my faith. but after wed been dating about a month i started to get doubts again, because i was wondering why all of my relationships neve work out. its really making this relationship hard on me. i dont understand, ive never liked a guy and i dont think im attracted to them, but this thought worries me so much and its all i think about.

am i bi and just avoiding it really well? whats going on with me? why did this come back as soon as i started to get close to god?

 

[dogar]

If you are not attracted to guys and are attracted to women then you are not gay or bi. You may not be attracted to this woman but that does not mean that you are no longer straight. At the grand age of 17 it's bound that relationships don't last - just because those relationships were shorter than this one doesn't mean that it will 'fail'.

 

[Andres88]

I know you might not want to hear this, but you are young, and your hormones are raging all the way. That is a time of great confusion, where a lot of things can happen.

You ask yourself why your relationships never work out. Is this linked to you being bisexual? No. There are some things we need to consider:

1. A relationship, or marriage, or money, or sex, or power, or whatever you can put in your mind... none of these things will guarantee you true happiness. These things are like the icing, while Jesus Christ is the cake. He is to be the essence of your life, not these things.

2. Have you considered that maybe this is not the best time for you to be in a relationship? We are influenced by the world into believing that if we don't have a relationship while we are teens, then we will stay single our whole lives... as if that was a curse! We see everyone in a relationship, and we think that we should do the same thing. This is not wise. Are you emotionally, mentally, spiritually, economically, and socially mature to be in a relationship?

3. Even if you liked both guys and gals, keep in mind what is right before God's eyes. And this is very important: some people declare that you can't say you don't like guys if you haven't tried anything with them; that you should get in a relationship with a guy to see if you are bisexual or not. This, more than anything, will confuse you more, and plus, it's not God's design for us humans.

4. Are you focusing in what you should be focusing in? "Set your mind on the things above", we read in the Scriptures. You will face a lot of temptations throughout your whole life, and especially in this time it's important for you to focus in doing God's will despite your changing emotions.

Remember: your value is not on you being in a relationship, nor on being heterosexual; your value is in Christ, and in Christ alone. Even in case you liked other guys, my dear brother, never set your foot apart from the path that leads to Jesus Christ. That is, never forget what Jesus said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me" (Luke 9:23). Always keep in mind those three things:

1. Deny yourself; it's not about doing whatever you feel like doing. Filter everything with the word of God. Don't do what God says is bad; do what He says is good.
2. Take up your cross daily; daily, not weekly or monthly. Following Jesus is not easy, but it doesn't mean there aren't blessings for those who are obedient to Him.
3. Follow Jesus; not your impulses, the desires of your flesh, or what the world says.

God bless you, brother. I'll be praying for you.

 

[GT123]

it is my opinion and choice - to not date unless considering the person for marriage. some will disagree, some will agree, take from it what you will. good luck.

 

[Gottseidank]

@GT

I think so as well... It just does not make sense to keep dating someone if you know she's not the one.

On the other hand, at times I am very lonely and it's hard to bear. So sometimes I start calling girls or dating them, although I shouldnt... I really don't want to explode or so LOL

 

[Gottseidank]

im not sure whats going on with me lately. i had my first crush on a gurl when i was 9 and i liked her for three years. i never felt like i was different or anything. i liked gurls without and doubts until i was about 13, then i went through a really bad depression and thought i might like guys for a little bit, but as soon as i started high school the feelings went away and i didn't think about it at all. i was in a couple serious relationships also.
but in the the last couple weeks ive been having problems. im dating this amazing gurl and ive liked her for a while now, shes also a really strong christian so shes been helping my faith. but after wed been dating about a month i started to get doubts again, because i was wondering why all of my relationships neve work out. its really making this relationship hard on me. i dont understand, ive never liked a guy and i dont think im attracted to them, but this thought worries me so much and its all i think about.

am i bi and just avoiding it really well? whats going on with me? why did this come back as soon as i started to get close to god?

What kind of attraction to guys is that? In a physical way? If not then there is nothing wrong with it. If yes, then you should reject it. Also it could stem from watching porn...

Also having doubts is normal in my view. Everybody has doubts here and there. Also try to relax. You don't have to marry that girl. As long as you're not having sex with anyone, it's actually your privilege to date, have doubts, date somebody else, break up or just staying single until you meet "the one"

 

[Johnnz]

Relating confidently to the opposite sex often requires quite a bit of learned behaviours before one gets a great deal of confidence. If there never has been a guy you really are attracted to that should not be too big a concern at 17.

You can be attracted to other females without that meaning you are sexually oriented towards them. Some women enjoy male company, some guys find relating to females easier than males. But neither have any wrong sexual aspects to their relationships.

You are probably still working through more fully understanding and integrating your sexuality into your life and values. Keep at it, don't engage in wrong behaviours, and set out to be a good person to be with for both guys and gals.

John
NZ

 

[tjwallace2]

Just remember, that your relationship with the Lord is not dependent on whether you're attracted to girls or guys...they can both become sin if handled incorrectly. Do not try to replace your attraction to males with an attraction to females...that's essentially replacing one sin with another...the Lord wants all of you. Submit to Him, and let Him worry about the rest.