In the middle of last year I started to like a friend at church whom I found to be very Godly and loving. I thought we got along alright and so I approached her and asked for her thoughts on dating/relationships. In that conversation, she tried to be as loving as she could and told me she didn't think we got along.
The next night, I called her up to make sure she was okay and that our friendship was okay, but then she went all emo and told me about how she hadn't gotten over her previous relationship yet. She's the type to on occasion just blurt out what/how she's feeling. It seemed obvious that I had opened up an old wound so I tried to comfort her even though I was totally cut up on the inside.
Ever since then, I've been trying hard to get her out of my mind, even though we constantly see each other (up to 3 times a week) during the week because of helping out with church ministry. Over these few months, our friendship has changed slightly - we don't talk as frequently and we're definitely not as close as we used to be although recently things have been improving again.
I say we're not as close because there was a point in our friendship where she actually called me up from overseas to go check up on her grandmother for her. And there was also a time when she had asked me to go evangelise to her work mate with her (it didn't end up happening because she got emo and cancelled it because she was being teased by my pastors wife about considering me as a partner). I didn't treat these as signals of interest from her, but more of a sign of how caring she was for other people.
Part of the distance between us is my doing --- I've been avoiding talking to her unless it was necessary in case she thought I had a hidden agenda because I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable since we are both quite involved with serving at church. And largely also because it aches me when I end up seeing her or thinking about her too much.
I keep myself busy with uni work, ministry, sport and have been socialising with females/males to try keep my mind open. My pastors told me to consider other Godly single girls from church -- I've actually hung out with some of them in 1to1 or 1to2 situations, but nothing.
No matter how busy my day or week has been or who I've hung out with - guy girl, young old, at the end of the day, she's still stuck on my mind.
What really annoys me is that we didn't even date. It's just a crush and I feel childish for still having feelings for her. It's been about 8-9months now and even though I've continued moving on with everything else in my life, it's been such a struggle to get her out of my mind despite endless prayers and reading of scripture, chats with friends and attempts to focus on other things.
Any wise words from other brothers/sisters in Christ would be appreciated.
The next night, I called her up to make sure she was okay and that our friendship was okay, but then she went all emo and told me about how she hadn't gotten over her previous relationship yet. She's the type to on occasion just blurt out what/how she's feeling. It seemed obvious that I had opened up an old wound so I tried to comfort her even though I was totally cut up on the inside.
Ever since then, I've been trying hard to get her out of my mind, even though we constantly see each other (up to 3 times a week) during the week because of helping out with church ministry. Over these few months, our friendship has changed slightly - we don't talk as frequently and we're definitely not as close as we used to be although recently things have been improving again.
I say we're not as close because there was a point in our friendship where she actually called me up from overseas to go check up on her grandmother for her. And there was also a time when she had asked me to go evangelise to her work mate with her (it didn't end up happening because she got emo and cancelled it because she was being teased by my pastors wife about considering me as a partner). I didn't treat these as signals of interest from her, but more of a sign of how caring she was for other people.
Part of the distance between us is my doing --- I've been avoiding talking to her unless it was necessary in case she thought I had a hidden agenda because I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable since we are both quite involved with serving at church. And largely also because it aches me when I end up seeing her or thinking about her too much.
I keep myself busy with uni work, ministry, sport and have been socialising with females/males to try keep my mind open. My pastors told me to consider other Godly single girls from church -- I've actually hung out with some of them in 1to1 or 1to2 situations, but nothing.
No matter how busy my day or week has been or who I've hung out with - guy girl, young old, at the end of the day, she's still stuck on my mind.
What really annoys me is that we didn't even date. It's just a crush and I feel childish for still having feelings for her. It's been about 8-9months now and even though I've continued moving on with everything else in my life, it's been such a struggle to get her out of my mind despite endless prayers and reading of scripture, chats with friends and attempts to focus on other things.
Any wise words from other brothers/sisters in Christ would be appreciated.
