Not sure if this will do anyone any good...

[brettnolan]

Well here's the deal. I am a complete failure.

And I'm not saying that so much to solicit pity or empathy or whatever. Actually, I'm hoping that it might be encouraging to someone else to know that failure isn't the worst thing that can ever happen.

This story is much longer than I'll present here but I don't have time for the whole thing.

I divorced in 2002 and had a really rough two years trying to find someone to share my life with. I spent a lot of time here with people like me having the same difficulties. It wasn't the best situation, but I really had a pretty good time. Then I had surgery on my arm and couldn't type and needed to spend my time more productively anyway, so I pretty much dropped off the face of the earth as far as CF is concerned. I come back occasionally for various reasons.

Anyway, the end of last year I started dating a woman and we were taken up in a whirlwind if you know what I mean. There were issues that I brought here and discussed. I got the advice I expected and proceeded to ignore it. We fought from first month on. Yet I hung on and kept battling even though I don't need any of it. I have Jesus and am truly perfectly happy alone. We kept on and on, she threatening to leave on many occasions.

Then we got married in May. Of course, nothing has changed. Still the same. It's really only a matter of time and I currently feel hopeless and helpless when it comes to this relationship. I feel like I am doing the best I can and it's no where close to good enough.

I'm not really depressed or anything as maybe I should be. I think that at some point, we accept failure as just being part of who we are.

My God is with me and he will sustain me. Sometimes I really wish He just wouldn't let me fail to begin with. Take away my option to not listen to Him.

Jeremiah 29:11

 

[RefinedByFire]

Well here's the deal. I am a complete failure.

My God is with me and he will sustain me. Sometimes I really wish He just wouldn't let me fail to begin with. Take away my option to not listen to Him.

Jeremiah 29:11

Sounds like me 4 years ago. I feel you brother. Just go through this testing as best you can.

 

[BeautyForAshes]

and praying for you situation.

 

[boilerblues]

It sounds like you still have time to make changes. Don't give up, trust that Jesus can redeem your current situation.

This was my prayer a week or so ago

*****************************************************************************
I'm a complete failure. I'm a failure as a leader. I'm a failure as a friend. I'm a failure as a musician. I'm a failure as a writer. I'm a failure in obeying God. I'm a failure at financial stewardship. I'm a failure with women. I'm a failure at being a Christian. I can't even surrender.


Jesus, if You are my Savior I need You to save me from everything, especially myself. I don't want to just be saved on judgment day, I want to be saved now. I want to be changed into something more than a failure. I want to be an instrument of Your Grace, to be used to save others from all the things they need to be saved from. Lord, to be that it can't depend on me. I need You inside of me, that the old self who was a total failure dies, so that You may live in me and use me to save others. I need You and I'm desperate for You. I can't even seek You, I can't surrender to you, I fail at everything. I ask that You come and do it in me.


I know that You love me. You created me in Your image and I see You moving in my life. You don't love me because of anything I do for You, but because You chose to love me and make me someone worth loving. I know that nothing I do can make you love me any more or less. I also know that You are using me to pursue other people You love and seek to save. You are saving me, I see it in my life. You work slowly because You are loving and gentle and You know how much it hurts to put the old me to death. I don't know Your purposes for me. I ask only that You make me an instrument of love and Grace to whoever You put in my life. I long desperately for Your Salvation and because I know the pain, I want others to know Your Salvation also.


I may be a failure, but I know You are not. I know that You will bring success in my life, not by anything I do or for my purposes, but by Your mighty hand for Your Glory. But You let me share in your Glory because I am Your beloved. As I continue in life I ask only these things. never leave me or forsake me. Save me, especially from myself. Use me to bless others.
************************************************************************************

 

[JPPT1974]

You aren't a failure in the Lord's eyes. That the Lord will pick you up from your bootstraps and that He will lead, guide, and direct you in the way that you should go.

 

[Tumbleweed64]

The only way a person can be a complete failure is if they give up and remember, God said it wouldn't be easy, but it will be worth it

 

[Heiroglyph]

Look even though your marriage has problems now I urge you to do everything you can to make it work. I listen to alot of marriage advice shows.
Get yourself to a Christian marriage counselor. Marriage is alot more complicated than most people realize and some professional help is needed. I only know of one couple who figured out how to do it right all on their own without the Church or counseling. Most people need some real help so don't feel bad just convince your wife to try to make it work with you.

 

[JPPT1974]

The only way a person can be a complete failure is if they give up and remember, God said it wouldn't be easy, but it will be worth it

Couldn't agree with you anymore!

 

[Niels]

This life can be a pain. We are fallen beings living in a fallen world. I am encouraged that you're turning to God to sustain you. He is there for us no matter what... even at times when it seems like we're going it alone.

 

[winglovesall]

I encourage you to speak out -- no one would know what you feel if you don't say anything --

I encourage you to think positively -- things, do happen for a reason and look positively for those reasons that may change you to a lot better person.

 

[MrsSeptemberPenguin]

Pray! It's very important. Try your best to communicate w/ her. Maybe even go to counciling. Do you really not want to be w/ her anymore. Trust God. Follow him.

 

[stormgade4]

That's pretty heavy situation. I can't say I know what you are feeling but I can't imagine it's good. "For everything, there's a reason" but you probably don't want to hear that right now.

 

[JPPT1974]

This life can be a pain. We are fallen beings living in a fallen world. I am encouraged that you're turning to God to sustain you. He is there for us no matter what... even at times when it seems like we're going it alone.

We are indeed vulnerable but turning to God can and will sustain you and bring you peace and stability.

 

[winglovesall]

Just keep praying and communicate to him -- develop a stronger relationship with him day by day

 

[JPPT1974]

Just keep praying and communicate to him -- develop a stronger relationship with him day by day

Couldn't agree with you anymore my friend!!

 

[winglovesall]

Thanks for the agreement!

 

[WITNESS8]

Hmmm...

 

[winglovesall]

And it is important, that within our family, that we discover more about each other -- these friends would teach us a lot about ourselves and others and God!