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No emotion but hate

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woulfeblade

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I need prayer I sometimes feel like I've lost IT. I see a persian person and I feel hate not love. I keep trying to think; He or She could be a Christian but if I feel hate what does that make me? My Mom told me and my wife we were not "Christian enough" she is into some preacher prophet on god.tv some web site she watches every day. I think she is full of it. What if she is right.

I am a Desert Storm Vet I've had friends die over there and I have seen friends bury sons who fought just resently. I am for the war to bring peace to the people over there who want it but; I pass a muslim on the street here and I taste hate. I think It's cause I live near a MArine base and my neighbors neighbor's neighbor is in the Marines Airforce Army or Navy.

I am an exsatanist bought by blood and forgiven for things I still feel guilt from over 20 years ago so what happened to me? and how do I get IT back. My wifes doctor is from Egypt and I can't stand being in the same room yet she has done nothing but help my wife.

The IT I lost is LOVE and I want to find IT again. I need forgiveness for my hate and relief from the night terrors.
 

woulfeblade

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Night terrors worse than nightmares. I have woken up with bruised ribs from my wife to stop me from choking her. we sleep in seperate bedrooms partly because of my snoring and because we both need sleep.

I have a shirt I joke about it reads heavily medicated for your protection a friend bought it for me as a joke. he has the same shirt. but mine is true. I need Galations 5.
 
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MaidforHim

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I need prayer I sometimes feel like I've lost IT. I see a persian person and I feel hate not love. I keep trying to think; He or She could be a Christian but if I feel hate what does that make me? My Mom told me and my wife we were not "Christian enough" she is into some preacher prophet on god.tv some web site she watches every day. I think she is full of it. What if she is right.

I am a Desert Storm Vet I've had friends die over there and I have seen friends bury sons who fought just resently. I am for the war to bring peace to the people over there who want it but; I pass a muslim on the street here and I taste hate. I think It's cause I live near a MArine base and my neighbors neighbor's neighbor is in the Marines Airforce Army or Navy.

I am an exsatanist bought by blood and forgiven for things I still feel guilt from over 20 years ago so what happened to me? and how do I get IT back. My wifes doctor is from Egypt and I can't stand being in the same room yet she has done nothing but help my wife.

The IT I lost is LOVE and I want to find IT again. I need forgiveness for my hate and relief from the night terrors.


Sometimes I think we all really struggle with loving others, sometimes it's those we feel are our enemy and sometimes it folks who seem to work at making themselves impossible to love. Either way we're commanded to love our neighbor and even our enemies. I think understanding God's heart on this matter would really bring you some peace and comfort.

My nephew is in Iraq right now and I do understand some of what your feeling, but Jesus Christ is in our lives and He can help each of us to do better and to reflect Him instead of the world. He also lifts that burden of hatred off of our shoulders and sometimes we don't realize what a burden hatred or anger can be until it is gone.

Here is a great teaching that is not only Biblically accurate, but enjoyable to listen to. I hope you'll give it a try it's really great teaching and I think it will help you with your feelings of hatred.


Pastor Bob Coy, "Loving Your Enemies"
It's easy to kill my enemy, but how hard is it to love my enemy? Pastor Bob shares an in-depth study outlining why the commandment to love my enemies is so important to the heart of God.
Part 1
http://www.calvaryftl.org/AWMedia/MediaDesk.cfm?fn=AW20080414
Part 2
http://www.calvaryftl.org/AWMedia/MediaDesk.cfm?fn=AW20080415

 
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Cris413

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Oh my WB….:hug:

Praying for you brother. I can’t even imagine what you experience over there. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your service to our country. I am truly grateful for all of you who serve to protect not only us…but others….and to preserve our freedoms and to help establish those freedoms for others. God bless you!

What you’re feeling is totally understandable considering how the face of the enemy has changed. The enemy hiding behind and in the civilian population with absolutely no value for life…not even their own!

It sounds like you’re suffering for post-traumatic stress and I encourage you to talk to a good pastor or bible based Christian counselor, be surrounded by your brothers in Christ and…most importantly prayerfully seek God to heal you of these wounds and fill you with His love. Also pray for the wisdom and discernment to recognize the enemy. I’ll be praying for you too!

Just to share a bit...I was a little surprised by my response when Saddam Hussein was hanged. I thought I’d be all cheering…but I wasn’t…my heart was remorseful just a little bit. I totally believe earthly justice was served at his death sentence, however, I couldn’t help but also think how horrifying for Saddam to find out that his god was false and there are no virgins waiting for him…the only thing waiting for him is the righteous and holy judgment of the One True God.

It took a little while to reconcile these thoughts because the last thing I ever wanted was to feel compassion for this man in any measure after all of the hideous atrocities he’s committed but I came to understand…God loves all of His creation and it breaks his heart when any are lost.

Again brother…I encourage to immerse yourself in prayer and in His word and seek the counseling of a good pastor and fellowship with your brothers in Christ that they can encourage you and hold you up and strengthen you in Christ Jesus.

Php 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
Php 4:5 Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.
Php 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
Php 4:7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.


Meditate on These Things
Php 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things.
Php 4:9 The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.


:hug:
 
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e. barrett

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Thanks for sharing all of that woulfeblade. Being honest and humble about our failures is never easy. And while I can't understand all of the things you've been through, I can understand sin. We're all consumed by one type of sin or another - and there are days it seems impossible to break free.

CS Lewis talks about pride being the root of all evil because it makes us not even acknowledge our sins. So I take comfort in the fact that simply worrying about how to break free means that sin doesn't have complete control over us. If it did, we wouldn't care.

Let God work on that admission. Although if you're like me, you'll want to fight it every step of the way. :)
 
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nileppezdel77

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You may have PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. See a psychiatrist, they can help you work through some of the anxiety you are feeling. I have also read about a double blind test being done on people w/ PTSD wherein they are given either a placebo or an MDMA pill (ecstasy). Apparently, the happy feelings arrived at by being on the drug allowed people to talk through their problems and relieve the issues without feeling the dread that comes about many times during sober reflection. I do not endorse using X without doctor supervision, but I thought it was an interesting study.
 
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Cris413

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You may have PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. See a psychiatrist, they can help you work through some of the anxiety you are feeling. I have also read about a double blind test being done on people w/ PTSD wherein they are given either a placebo or an MDMA pill (ecstasy). Apparently, the happy feelings arrived at by being on the drug allowed people to talk through their problems and relieve the issues without feeling the dread that comes about many times during sober reflection. I do not endorse using X without doctor supervision, but I thought it was an interesting study.

Respectfully I would like to submit...I'm not one to discourage people from seeking medical attention by any means, however, I urge caution when considering psychiatric treatment and medication...BEFORE...seeking God and/or spiritual counseling.

Unfortunately...psychiatric treatment rarely addresses the deeper spiritual issues and they are swift to hand out meds that may simply mask the problems or may not help at all.

I sought psychiatric help when I was experiencing some very deep spiritual issues and the psychiatrist handed me an Rx for lithium on the very first visit diagnosing me with bipolar disorder. Which kinda suprises me because everything I was experiencing at the time...a Dx of paranoid schizophrenia wouldn't have been out of the question.

I never took it...praise God...wish I could say the same for all the anti-depressants and anti-axiety meds I had been Rx'd over those years.

I didn't have a medical/mental problem...I had a spiritual problem...nothing the Lord couldn't handle though and I'm happy and very grateful to say I no longer suffer from depression/anxiety nor encounters with terrifying demons trying to drive me insane...which is exactly what I thought I was...going insane...when I went to see the psychiatrist.

I'm in no way an extremist who offers denial of medical/mental attention...God gave us physicians and I believe we are to use the gifts God has blessed them with...

I'm only encouraging caution and careful consideration to prayerfully seek God FIRST and continually.

Meds may help...but God can HEAL on all levels.
 
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nileppezdel77

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I agree with you Cris. I was under the assumption that meditation, and inward contemplation was being done. He did, after all, find God again after being a Satanist. Also, I stressed the MDMA study because it is more than just taking a drug and feeling better. It is, as I like to refer to all hallucinogenics, a spiritual lubricant. We find that we have a clearer understanding of ourselves, as the outside world becomes more dim when high on an hallucinogen. Not everyone shares this view, I am aware, and some believe that prayer alone can bring people to this state. I am under the impression that if God created these drugs that bring us closer to spiritual enlightenment, then it makes sense to use them.
 
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Cris413

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I agree with you Cris. I was under the assumption that meditation, and inward contemplation was being done. He did, after all, find God again after being a Satanist. Also, I stressed the MDMA study because it is more than just taking a drug and feeling better. It is, as I like to refer to all hallucinogenics, a spiritual lubricant. We find that we have a clearer understanding of ourselves, as the outside world becomes more dim when high on an hallucinogen. Not everyone shares this view, I am aware, and some believe that prayer alone can bring people to this state. I am under the impression that if God created these drugs that bring us closer to spiritual enlightenment, then it makes sense to use them.

I really don’t want to derail this thread, however, sometimes the flow of conversation (and the Holy Spirit) moves off course a bit and you bring up a very interesting perspective.

A perspective I couldn’t disagree with more strongly. Hallucinogens, psychotropic drugs and such are by NO MEANS the path to spiritual enlightenment. And not all things created by God are for our use nor are we to partake in them…example in fact…the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil…

As well…there are many things God created that the enemy has twisted to use for the destruction of God’s creation.

There are many cultures and CULTS that believe in the use of mind-altering substances to access some deeper spiritual connection. I think Don Juan used these same techniques on Carlos Castaneda…these types of teachings and the use of drugs to attain some higher spiritual level or awareness is quite dangerous to say the least in our true spiritual well-being.

Your profile states Scientology? as your religion and doing drugs is your one of your interests…

Perhaps you are not that well grounded in the Word and I would be happy to discuss this with you further in a more appropriate forum but FYI…Christianity and Scripture NEVER even REMOTELY suggests such things…actually quite the opposite…Scripture WARNS us of such things.

I would also be very happy to discuss my experiences trying to achieve this sort of “enlightenment” via PM if you would like…but what I will say here is that my search for enlightenment through use of hallucinogens and such…led me pretty much straight into the clutches of the enemy spiritually…not to mention the disasters and dangers it eventually caused in my life. The enemy doesn’t want to enlighten us…he doesn’t want to empower us…he wants to destroy us.

Just a reminder….you may want to read the FSG’s (Forum Specific Guidelines) of this forum. I believe per your particular faith…you are not permitted to teach/debate in the main forum. Fellowship and sincere questions, however are always welcome in the appropriate threads. These FSG’s are in place to create a “safe haven” for ND believers to participate. I’m sure you understand. :)

Peace
 
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woulfeblade

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I am a dry drunk I come frome a line of alcoholics its in the blood so I don't drink. I do see a shrink at the VA but its not enough a 20 minute talk every 6 months or so doesn't help. My Church family stands by me and helps where they can and I give back where and when I can. just don't give me the communion plate in my right hand. I have nerve damage and tremors. One doctor told me its a slow walk to Parkinsons or MS. I am on different meds and they help. Some drugs are good for you otherwise I go holistic (natural herbs) my Mom said its witchcraft I say its made by God to help heal the sick and wasn't Luke a DR. I appreciate what you all said but as far as scietology goes I dont go there. I have been approached by some members when I was stationed in San Diego CA. I thot the stuff was loony then and put Scietology with Mormans and Jehova Witnesses. Just my opinion on what the Bible says and they say. But I still would talk to them. My closest friends out side of church are Wiccan and we know where each other stands as far as religion but we can still talk about other things other than religion. Because my friends are Wiccan my Mom said they would pull me into Hell with them. - not going to happen I am slowly working to get them to Heaven. If I can leave the Occult behind so can they. They say I came out of the Dark side of Wicca that is warned against and they are on the light side. I say satan controls either side.
 
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Cris413

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I am a dry drunk I come frome a line of alcoholics its in the blood so I don't drink. I do see a shrink at the VA but its not enough a 20 minute talk every 6 months or so doesn't help. My Church family stands by me and helps where they can and I give back where and when I can. just don't give me the communion plate in my right hand. I have nerve damage and tremors. One doctor told me its a slow walk to Parkinsons or MS. I am on different meds and they help. Some drugs are good for you otherwise I go holistic (natural herbs) my Mom said its witchcraft I say its made by God to help heal the sick and wasn't Luke a DR. I appreciate what you all said but as far as scietology goes I dont go there. I have been approached by some members when I was stationed in San Diego CA. I thot the stuff was loony then and put Scietology with Mormans and Jehova Witnesses. Just my opinion on what the Bible says and they say. But I still would talk to them. My closest friends out side of church are Wiccan and we know where each other stands as far as religion but we can still talk about other things other than religion. Because my friends are Wiccan my Mom said they would pull me into Hell with them. - not going to happen I am slowly working to get them to Heaven. If I can leave the Occult behind so can they. They say I came out of the Dark side of Wicca that is warned against and they are on the light side. I say satan controls either side.

And I say I agree with you brother. I entertained wicca and dark or light...it's not the way...Jesus says:

Joh 14:6 Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.

period...exclamation point! :amen:

I'll be keeping you in prayer. I would suggest you prayerfully consider the time you spend with your wiccan friends right now though...you need to be quite strong spiritually to be able to stand as a witness to them.

:hug:
 
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MaidforHim

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I am a dry drunk I come frome a line of alcoholics its in the blood so I don't drink. I do see a shrink at the VA but its not enough a 20 minute talk every 6 months or so doesn't help. My Church family stands by me and helps where they can and I give back where and when I can. just don't give me the communion plate in my right hand. I have nerve damage and tremors. One doctor told me its a slow walk to Parkinsons or MS. I am on different meds and they help. Some drugs are good for you otherwise I go holistic (natural herbs) my Mom said its witchcraft I say its made by God to help heal the sick and wasn't Luke a DR. I appreciate what you all said but as far as scietology goes I dont go there. I have been approached by some members when I was stationed in San Diego CA. I thot the stuff was loony then and put Scietology with Mormans and Jehova Witnesses. Just my opinion on what the Bible says and they say. But I still would talk to them. My closest friends out side of church are Wiccan and we know where each other stands as far as religion but we can still talk about other things other than religion. Because my friends are Wiccan my Mom said they would pull me into Hell with them. - not going to happen I am slowly working to get them to Heaven. If I can leave the Occult behind so can they. They say I came out of the Dark side of Wicca that is warned against and they are on the light side. I say satan controls either side.

Right on brother, both sides are controlled by Satan. Your wiccan friends should be reminded satan was the angel of "light".

2Co 11:14 -
And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.
I really commend you for following Jesus, coming out of the occult and then having the courage to witness to your wiccan friends. However, when you say your closest friends are wiccans that sends up a bunch of red flags, especially for someone who's come out of the occult themselves. If I am understanding you correctly your saying to don't really socialize with Christians outside of church? Why aren't your Christian friends your best friends outside of church as well as in? I don't mean they should be your ONLY friends, but why aren't they your closest? Christian friends are supposed to support, uplift, encourage and pray for each other especially when one is witnessing to those in the occult. In fact I would think some of those Christian friends should be involved in your social time with those wiccan friends. When you see Jesus send out the apostles in the Bible even He sends them 2 by 2 and He had given them power over unclean spirits.
Mr 6:7
And He called the twelve to Himself, and began to send them out two by two, and gave them power over unclean spirit
s.
I have a close relative who was formerly into wicca aka witchcraft, supposedly the "light side" and the spiriual attack she experienced after leaving was intense. Now that she has rededicated her life to Christ we've had some interesting talks. She told me that for her the occult is like an addiction left behind, it's something that sometimes tempts her and she has pray and resist and because of old habits and misleading teachings she really has had to stay alert and aware through the Holy Spirit to help put some old behaviors and habits behind her. It is only through Jesus Christ and leaning on Him that she has been able to do this. I know that if she were to hang around with a bunch of wiccans she'd be drawn in on levels that she might not be aware of until afterwards and she might even stumble.

It's important to remember that satan doesn't want you to conquer sin, he wants you to fail and surrounding yourself with those in spiritual sin for social reasons seems like it would give him an avenue of attack.


Ephesians 6:10-12
[FONT=Arial, Geneva, Helvetica]10 [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Geneva, Helvetica]Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Geneva, Helvetica]11 [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Geneva, Helvetica]Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Geneva, Helvetica]12[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Geneva, Helvetica] For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.[/FONT]

Yes, greater is He who is in you - than he who is in the world, but God also tells us in His Word to avoid the wrong kinds of friendships for our own good.

I know we're all different and perhaps God has given you the opportunity and strength to witness to your wiccan friends, but to hang with them on a regular basis purely for social reasons, especially with no solid Christian friends outside of church to come along side you for support and prayer and to be present with you might be a bit like inviting spiritual trouble.

God has given us all sorts of scripture to guide us in our friendships for a reason, He took the time to warn us and I think we should take His word seriously on all counts.

I think there is a fine line between "befriending" someon who is an unbeliever, lets say having lunch together or inviting them to a barbecue where you can witness and they can see Christ at work in your life, but where your not in a position to have your faith comprimised. That situation is different than being "best of friends" with an unbelievers where those persons are who you spend most of your social time with, that I believe is one of the dangers God specifically addresses in His word. If who we choose as friends is important to God then it should be important to us, any time God tells us to avoid something it's out of His love for us and His desire to protect us from things we often don't realize are unhealthy or dangerous on some level.. (spiritually, emotionally/psychologically or even physically)

Here are some verses regarding friends and friendship. I hope you'll give them some prayerful consideration.
Proverbs 12:26
The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Proverbs 12 is full of insight regarding unbelievers and the wise and faithful :)

Proverbs 27:17
"As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend."

Friendship is a two way street, if a two friends who are believers sharpen each other in faith, how will one friend who is an unbeliever affect the friend who is?
1 Corinthians 15:33
"Do not be deceived: "Evil company corrupts good habits." Awake to righteousness, and do not sin; for some do not have the knowledge of God."

Proverbs 13:20
"He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed."

This may be one of he verses your mom was basing her concerns on.

This next verse may be the most well known regarding friendships and yet many people apply it to marriage only when it really addresses every partnership whether it be a prospective spouse, business partner, friend or any other relationship.
2 Corinthians 6:14
"Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God."
There are just so many benefits to having close Christian friends, those are relationships that are mutually blessed with spiritual benefits and they are provided by God.

This is snipped from a really nice Bible study on friends and friendships, it's definitly worth reading. If you should be interested you can find the entire study here: http://www.bible-knowledge.com/bible-friends.html
Benefits of Choosing Good God-Friends

Here are six very interesting verses showing you why God does want you to have other good solid Christian friends to share your walk with.

These six verses will show you that there is safety in the multitude of counselors, that plans can go awry without having other people to hash things out with, that war is waged by wise counsel with others, that learning is increased by listening to wise counsel, and that if you cease to listen to wise counsel - that you will start to stray from being able to acquire more knowledge in God.

* "Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety." (Proverbs 11:14)

* "A wise man is strong, yes, a man of knowledge increases strength; for by wise counsel you will wage your own war, and in a multitude of counselors there is safety." (Proverbs 24:5)

* "Every purpose is established by counsel; by wise counsel wage war." (Proverbs 20:18)

* "Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established." (Proverbs 15:22)

* "Listen to counsel and receive instruction, that you may be wise in your latter days." (Proverbs 19:20)

* "Cease listening to instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge." (Proverbs 19:27)

God's Word is so clear on this I would strongly suggest you seek God's wisdom on this through scripture and prayer :thumbsup:
 
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nileppezdel77

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I'm not a Scientologist, parts of my profile are little jokes. I don't like giving out personal info, so I have a little fun with the profiles. I'm sorry for derailing your thread so much. I hope that you find a way to get better, through medicine, prayer, or just introspection and may God be with you.

Cris, many people share your opinion on drugs, and I am respectful of your different, but equally important convictions. May we all find God in whatever way is most comforting. Please do not mock my views. We just practice different methods of respecting the same God.

Apparently I cannot PM you until 10 posts, sorry. I hope we can still get along on these boards.
 
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Cris413

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I'm not a Scientologist, parts of my profile are little jokes. I don't like giving out personal info, so I have a little fun with the profiles. I'm sorry for derailing your thread so much. I hope that you find a way to get better, through medicine, prayer, or just introspection and may God be with you.

Cris, many people share your opinion on drugs, and I am respectful of your different, but equally important convictions. May we all find God in whatever way is most comforting. Please do not mock my views. We just practice different methods of respecting the same God.

Apparently I cannot PM you until 10 posts, sorry. I hope we can still get along on these boards.

Oh my...I certainly was not mocking you...that was never my intent nor my heart in addressing your post...only concern.

My contact info is on my homepage...feel free to email me at Cris413@hotmail.com

I also have IM I would love to chat with you about your experiences and share with you mine...

Or if you like...please start a thread in the discussion and debate subforum of ND...I'm sure many would be interested in sharing with you.

If you're a Nicene Christian you can post and debate there...I just don't want to see you get in trouble posting in the main forum if you're not Nondenominational believer.

And you may want to rethink stating you're a Scientologist if you're not actually a Scientologist...it may get you reported if you choose to debate in other Christian Communities or in the Faith Groups on CF...most forums have FSGs in place that do not permit teaching/debate from others who do not share their beliefs/doctrine.

Again...please do not mistake care and concern for "mocking"... totally not the condition of my heart (praise God) and certainly not my intent. :)
 
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Greatfull

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I feel for you for all the pain you carry with you because of all the bad things you have experienced from war.

I have hated too. So I think I can relate to some of what you are experiencing. I spent time kneeling beside my bed begging God for His Grace to go through this time. This person made life very difficult for me at work for two years. I thank God that nothing bad happened to him like a bad car accident or his health like a heart attack. I think my reaction to would have been very unChristlike. I prayed and asked God to fight this battle for me because I was so drained from fighting it myself. Today this same person and me are friendly towards each other. Now he is helpful to me at work instead of trying to make things hard for me. I would never in my wildest dreams have thought that things would end up the way it has. I had to tell God I forgave him. I even wrote small notes of "forgiveness" at work. I have to forgive because of all that God has forgiven me of. I did not deserve His forgiveness but He forgave me anyway.

Anger too before this incident was a weak point for me. A counselor or pastor really helped me work through why I had all this anger inside of me. And how to let go of the anger. It had to be someone I trusted and was willing to open up to. Some Christians don't believe in this kind of counseling. They say God can take care of all things. I say God can use counselors and pastors to help take care of things. May God help you and show you the way and lead you to the right people and knowledge so you will be made well. Amen
 
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mysparrow

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I think one thing we must remember is this: Satan desires to steal , kill, and destroy. Coming out of the occult was the major achievement, but know this, satan does NOT want you to lead others to Christ, and would have you lose your way if possible. The night terrors are possibly spiritual attacks, considering you were a practicing satanist. He doesnt want to let those that were his go, and is very adamant about causing you to have such a hard time you may go back to it . Keep that in mind. When you are having such struggles, it is imperative to surround yourself with things and people Godly, because when we think we are strong enough to withstand him (satan), that is when we are in for a fall. Sometimes without even knowing it till its too late. Just something to think on? :pray:
 
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mike74

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alright mate im a british soldier and christian,
i think the ansaw was in the god tv bit of your original post, have you heard of the florida outpouring, If not dont worry, ask around your local church and get some info about the closest place you can go and be healed, even take your mum it sounds like she is the one to ask anyway, the holy spirit will heal you of everything in seconds and completely blow you away, im not joking it will knock you to the floor, filled to the brim, with the holy spirit, and everthing will be ok from that moment on, sounds to simple well its true and God wants you to get your ass over there as soon as brother, waste no time thinking it over just do it, its the complete cure for everthing even death.
this is your chance to leave it all behind, there was even a guy who could see out of his false eye, my sons hip has been healed and he wasnt even there.
good luck mate.
 
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childofGod31

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I am sorry to hear about the stuff you have to go through. It seems to be the issue of forgiveness. You can't forgive them for what they did. (But in war, both sides hurt each other, don't they?)

But I believe there is only one answer: get in the Word. Get closer to God by spending time one on one with Him and the word. Try to listen to what God is trying to tell you. When you hate, you allow Satan access to your soul. And God knows that. And that's why he commanded us to forgive. He also said that if you don't forgive, God will not forgive you either (Jesus showed that in the parable of 2 servants. And how the King forgave the servant, but the servant didn't forgive his servant. )

When you get closer to God (really close, as in "first love" close, as in "my best friend in the whole wide world" close, as in "seeking FIRST the kingdom of God and forsaking the earthly treasures" , then God will give you the power to forgive. You will understand how hate serves Satan and how God is all about love. You will understand with your heart. (Right now you only understand with your mind, but it's not helpful to just know the facts. It's helpful to feel the truth with your heart). That's where God will start working with you, and transform you into the image of Christ.

And be careful with your friends. They might be stronger than you are. Remember that friendship with the world is enmity against God. God wants a faithful pure virgin (of a church), not "sleeping together" with the world.
 
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JasonX43

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The one thing I'm going to clear up for you is that nobody said being a Christian is easy. In fact, it's harder than being a sinner because sin is easy. The next I'm going to tell you is to talk to your problem. This feeling of hate is merely the devil trying to pull you back into him. First of all, it doesn't matter that your past family members gave into alcholism! You're the one that can break that chain that binds you! And as for the Parkinsons and MS, the Bible says that the name of The Lord reigns over ALL other names on earth and that beating that Jesus took before going to the cross, those 36 lashes he took on his back, represented every sickness and illness on this earth and he took them to the grave with him! Therefore we as Christians must use our faith, even when doctors give a diagnosis, believe that BY JESUS STRIPES(wounds), YOU ARE HEALED!!!!
 
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