New Thread - Step One

[MorkandMindy]

Talk the Walk

I struggle as many others do, with keeping control of my mind; with keeping it on a profitable topic, meditating on how to achieve good things for those around me and those I am in contact with. That's a lot of people so rather than just part of the time, I should be thinking of the benefit of others in the back of my mind all year round.


I think the first step is revealed in James:

James 1 25: But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed. 26 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain.


In my opinion one good way to gain some control over the mind is to control what we say.

We think in advance about what we will say, and how to say it persuasively.

And then afterword we think about the opinion we have expressed and are now committed to supporting.


Keeping a careful account of what I talk about is to me something well worth doing and something I can do and therefore something I must do to start rescuing my life and those around me. That is why to me it is the 'first step'.

Any better or alternative suggestions are always welcome.


How do you control your mind when it wants to go off and think about something unprofitable?

How well does that method work?

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I pray...read the word and ask God to help me re-focus or what does He want me to do?

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

Hi all! I have been extra busy lately - nothing really bad but I have had a busy and tiring time for several months. This Sunday at church during the quiet moments just before Communion, I was reading several verses from Psalm 119 in the Book of Common Prayer (I really like the English translation of the Psalms in the BCP). These verses are about praying for understanding and about not wasting time over worthless things. These verses seem to go along with this discussion rather well:

33 Teach me, O LORD, the way of your statutes,
and I shall keep it to the end.
34 Give me understanding, and I shall keep your law;
I shall keep it with all my heart.
35 Make me go in the path of your commandments,
for that is my desire.
36 Incline my heart to your decrees
and not to unjust gain.
37 Turn my eyes from watching what is worthless;
give me life in your ways.
38 Fulfill your promise to your servant,
which you make to those who fear you.
39 Turn away the reproach which I dread,
because your judgments are good.
40 Behold, I long for your commandments;
in your righteousness preserve my life.

Also, I agree about controlling what you say. For example, if there is a clique of people at work, church, or wherever who just complain and gossip, avoid them! If you associate much with people who are always griping, they won't have anything helpful to offer you and they will just drain your energy. That does not mean you have to pretend everything is wonderful, if it isn't. I just try to avoid certain negative and useless conversations.

 

[MorkandMindy]

Thank you for that. I can easily stand with the complainers at work because my job is far more demanding than theirs - I never know ten minutes in advance what my next task will be or if I can do it - they get about half their time off to chat or cruise the Internet, but I have such a breadth of skills I'm busy from the minute I arrive until the end of shift. And from management I just get an endless stream of criticism.


But as you say I have to stay out of the complaining.





PS
Yes, I've applied for ten vacancies so far and got none, even one I was clearly the best candidate for I was rejected, and I'm sure my manager was the one who put a stop to that one because I'm just too useful where I am. The job market in this country is nothing like as good for capable people as it is in the US. For totally useless people though I'd say it is better. There's a bit more about that in my thread 'The Best of Both Worlds'.

 

[MorkandMindy]

Inspiring scriptures

As well as James, what I was thinking when I started the thread was PS 119:

PS 119.1
Blessed are the undefiled in the way, who walk in the law of the Lord.

is where I want to be, and

PS 119.25
My soul cleaveth unto the dust: quicken thou me according to thy word.

more accurately describes where I am.

 

[miss-a]

I'm a big fan of writing Scriptures on cards and having them everywhere, in my car, pockets, on my desk, in my purse, anywhere I can grab one and read it when I need to get some truth into my mind. And yes, it is effective, but that doesn't mean I instantly calm down. Often times I have to read them over and over again, or keep whispering them to myself once memorized, if I'm in a very tough environment.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Great post Dr. and glad to have you back. Sorry you've been so busy lately, you have been missed.

 

[dayhiker]

Mork .. so it sounds like your get all these complains from management because your the one guy who knows enough about how things work that you can fix them.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

Great post Dr. and glad to have you back. Sorry you've been so busy lately, you have been missed.

Hi Michelle! Have been kind of busy - I should drop in here more often. I hope things are going well for you.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

Mork, don't despair too much. I remember during the peak of the the tech bubble years ago I tried to leave a not so good situation for a better job and it took me a long time - but I am in a secondary city and not in a huge tech center and I didn't really want to move. I was eventually able to land a good job but getting there really tried my patience. I once worked in a place where if you were competent you were picked on. I know it isn't fun.

 

[MorkandMindy]

Mork .. so it sounds like your get all these complains from management because your the one guy who knows enough about how things work that you can fix them.

... I once worked in a place where if you were competent you were picked on. I know it isn't fun.

Someone said to me today that I have no prospects because the managers feel threatened by me. Just 'feel', not that they had any reason to, but they do.

I see it completely the other way around because the managers determine promotions and pay raises, and I have worked on the basis that if I keep things running well it makes my managers look good.

 

[MorkandMindy]

I think the managers see it the other way around and mine just likes to complain to me.

I was told my work was being compared with my equivalent on the other shift and that I wasn't doing very well. I was too slow in making up a very large very expensive cable because it took me 10 hours including meetings and breaks. The guy on the other shift started in January and gave up in April. But he is a new comer so that is a better performance than expected and mine is worse, so he gets a better assessment.

I've come to realise the top managers have decided at the start who they want to succeed and who they want to fail so the assessment procedure is a matter of collecting good news about the favoured and bad news about the rest.

 

[MorkandMindy]

...
Also, I agree about controlling what you say. For example, if there is a clique of people at work, church, or wherever who just complain and gossip, avoid them! If you associate much with people who are always griping, they won't have anything helpful to offer you and they will just drain your energy. That does not mean you have to pretend everything is wonderful, if it isn't. I just try to avoid certain negative and useless conversations.

The situation I'm in is difficult. I tend to have a low opinion of complainers,

But where I work there is as far as I can tell, a unanimous belief and one I now also hold, that promotions go entirely to those who have somehow managed to get on the right side of top management. And these favourites tend to be the less able, who in some cases are so incompetent they are well-known for their stupidity.

But the top managers are of course unaware of their own confirmation biases.

 

[MorkandMindy]

Which leaves me badly stuck:

PS 119.1
Blessed are the undefiled in the way, who walk in the law of the Lord.

is where I want to be, and

PS 119.25
My soul cleaveth unto the dust: quicken thou me according to thy word.
​

describes where I am.


One piece of good advice on it's own may not do the trick - I think I need another - and that would be a law of reflexivity, too close to bed time to start on that.