New Diagnosis

[raylenar]

Hi everyone,

i'm new here, just got the diagnosis today. I have been struggling for years and it's finally been decided I have bipolar. I got a prescription and am waiting for nine dollars to appear so I can go and fill it. I feel weird, like I just entered the twilight zone. Actually, I guess I have bipolar and ADHD, with possible hypothyroidism. That would explain why I can't sleep, then don't need sleep, and then are extremely tired everyday. And why I "freak out". And why I've hurt myself. And why have impulse problems, and attention problems. My husband is sick of it all. We've been married for 5 years, and recently he says I've gotten really bad. I of course can't calm down enough to remember. But he did come with me to the psych's office this time, to help me explain how things were "really" going. Hopefully I can get stabilized soon, and be normal. I define normal as being between the highs and the lows. Right where I see everyone else being. Where people can keep a job and take a shower everyday. I guess I should be relieve that it's treatable, though uncurable. I just don't want the stigma that comes with it. My parents refuse to believe depression actually exists, what are they going to think about this. And my mother in law is already telling me things I do aren't bipolar, they're immaturity. Everyone's always disappointed in me. Why can't they see that I don't want to be like this. That I really don't have control sometimes. The only fun part about it is the superman feeling in hypomania, which usually leads to problems to deal with later on. Then the real mania sets in, and everything is wacky and supercharged. I am generally in the depressive side, so I was diagnosed with major depression. But the antidepressants made me rapid cycle, and I've been living like that for two years now. I'm just hoping the diagnosis and treatment will help to be able to heal what I've done when the bipolar was untreated.

 

[wonderwaleye]

Dear Raylenar


I can tell you sure have been through the fire but sunshine is in your future!!!


No one knows the pain of dealing with this disease and having others just fault you as if your just a bad person.


It takes time in dealing with others to get them comfortable and accept your disease. There is a stigma attached to mental health such as the word " CRAZY ". This will never go away in our lifetime so we just have to deal with it.


I have NO problem coming out of the closet and letting them know I'm bipolar. I do make sure they hear it's just a chemical imbalance.


Do get your meds and take them exactly as you should. Be patient with finding just the right meds that will work for you.


My life is GOOD. I have NO problem taking my meds and know better than to stop them.

This is a wonderful forum made up of good folks that are willing to help you and also receive any advise you have to give.


JUST THINK, I'M THE VERY FIRST ONE TO BE ABLE TO GIVE YOU A !!!


ALWAYS REMEMBER:




X Even though you can't see him, GOD is there!!! O
( click on the x and drag to the O ) ( then see who is with you ) steven

 

[PrairieGurl]

WELCOME TO THIS FORUM RAYLENAR!!!

You have SO come to the right place I do

agree with what Wonderwaleye has posted ! I

know where you're coming from.

The fellowship here is an encouragement, blessing,

and a great place to "write" out your feelings!

Please keep posting where "you're at".

Your fellow bp friends can understand where you

are "coming from". The people on this site are

kind, friendly, supportive in prayers and love, and

most of all been where you are!

With s & s,
Wendy

 

[youthwalk]

​

I'm lifting you in prayer. That's a tough diagnosis and I'm sorry that it's causing so much pain.
I understand what you mean when you say that you hope healing will come when you're stable. It will so look forward to it. It won't make the issue disappear or erase the mistakes so be prepared to deal with those but things will get better eventually and you'll be much more capable of handling what comes your way. ​

Father, I lift raylenar before you and I ask Lord that you minister to each need repersented in her life. Lord, meet her at the point of her need that she will be comforted and strengthened at this time. Lord, touch this family and bring understanding and love and wisdom to them all. Lord, be Jehovah Jireh in this situation and make provisions for Raylenar to buy her meds, now and for as long as she needs to take them.
In Jesus' mighty name, Amen and Amen.​

Bless you,​

Brianna​

 

[raylenar]

Hey, thanks for the encouragement. My friend gave me some money so I am going to pick up my meds today. I looked all day yesterday for a good forum, I'm glad I found this one. I have a hard time finding understanding in the christian community. Non christians have no problems understanding though, which makes me sad. But at least I can have christian encouragement and wisdom given to me here. Thanks so much!

 

[PrairieGurl]

Father, I lift raylenar before you and I ask Lord that you minister to each need repersented in her life. Lord, meet her at the point of her need that she will be comforted and strengthened at this time. Lord, touch this family and bring understanding and love and wisdom to them all. Lord, be Jehovah Jireh in this situation and make provisions for Raylenar to buy her meds, now and for as long as she needs to take them. ​

In Jesus' mighty name, Amen and Amen.

Bless you,


Brianna​

Heavenly Father, I agree in prayer with what Sister Bianna has asked. Thank you that You hear and answer our prayers!!!

 

[PrairieGurl]

Hey, thanks for the encouragement. My friend gave me some money so I am going to pick up my meds today. I looked all day yesterday for a good forum, I'm glad I found this one. I have a hard time finding understanding in the christian community. Non christians have no problems understanding though, which makes me sad. But at least I can have christian encouragement and wisdom given to me here. Thanks so much!

Well look at this answered prayer in action !

I'm so glad you found this forum also!! It has been such an encouragement to me!

Yes, it's sad that the christian community "seems" to not understand. I am thankful that there are those in the christian community who do

Keep us "updated" on your journey!

With s & s

 

[youthwalk]

Praise God and Amen!

You are most welcome and thank God you're able to buy your meds.

I found this forum to be a blessing as well and did face the same difficulty that you did (past tense with confidence ) Some Christians still have the belief that mental illnesses can be controlled and destroyed but the person's singular will...if we could do that we would! Depression and bipolar are stigmatised because sometimes they go against the principles and promises of God. But they are illnesses and they do need to be treated, prayed about and talked about so that the sufferer is not alienated or made to feel judged.

We know it's hard...we support you because out of many in the body of Christ, people with illnesses and disorders like ours need the support.

Welcome and God Bless...

 

[spdnet75]

I'll probably, take some guff, from the folks around me for this, but go to the dollar store and let your husband know that answeres are coming.

Buy a couple of those 3 subjects, for one dollar, notebooks. Let your husband know that you will be and then discuss your thoughts with him.

He loves you and desires you. Tell him about your conditions and asy if him, if he is still on-board. Sex, is not the answer. That aside, there is a managing team there. Children and parent, "Safe".

 

[youthwalk]

I'll probably, take some guff, from the folks around me for this, but go to the dollar store and let your husband know that answeres are coming.

Buy a couple of those 3 subjects, for one dollar, notebooks. Let your husband know that you will be and then discuss your thoughts with him.

He loves you and desires you. Tell him about your conditions and asy if him, if he is still on-board. Sex, is not the answer. That aside, there is a managing team there. Children and parent, "Safe".

I think It's sound practical advice.

 

[raylenar]

Hi, thanks again for your support. I have started my meds. They are an anti-convulant often used to treat bipolar. I don't really understand how that all works, and why I need anti seizure medication to keep me stable, but when I meet with my psychiatrist I'll ask him. I haven't experienced any side effects as of yet, so that is good. My husband is willing to wait and see if the medication does in fact stablize me, him saying then we will know what behaviors are actually "me", not a chemical imbalance. So that's where that is. We still have the "immature little girl" to deal with. I guess we'll see how that goes. I have been in therapy for years for abuse I suffered from my mother growing up. I think that when the chemical imbalances or stablized, the "immature little girl" will disappear. I really have been proactive in trying to fix myself, it just hasn't guite been working with the bipolar going untreated. Anyways, I just got into a fight with him about this. I wasn't picking a fight, just wanted to know where he stood with all this. I guess I still don't really know. He just shakes his head and say "I don't know". I did write some stuff down, though, and that helped me. I am scared to show him because I just get in trouble for not understanding him exactly or "twisting" things. I'm a little discouraged right now about this, I wish he would just give me the benefit of the doubt. Why would he want to be mad at me when he doesn't know for sure I'm doing things on purpose.

 

[wonderwaleye]

Why would he want to be mad at me when he doesn't know for sure I'm doing things on purpose.

Dear Raylenar

While this is hard to take when your going through all the pain, try to put yourself in his shoes.


He has a pressing problem that he HAS to handle. He knows nothing about the problem. He has never experienced bipolar. So he is going to select a method for overcoming this problem.


She just might be faking this, so why don't I act as if I'm not going to fall for this and jump on her back. ( some times in some cases this works )


That's a generic reaction.

Try to get him to read about this disease and explain that with his understanding and support you may well get this under control much sooner.


ASK HIM TO PLEASE REMEMBER:





X Even though you can't see him, GOD is there!!! O
( click on the x and drag to the O ) ( then see who is with you ) steven

 

[PrairieGurl]

Hi, thanks again for your support. I have started my meds. They are an anti-convulant often used to treat bipolar. I don't really understand how that all works, and why I need anti seizure medication to keep me stable, but when I meet with my psychiatrist I'll ask him.

Hey Raylenar!

As my doc & pdoc, and many of the docs I work with have said...the anti-convulant meds were found to help with "stabalizing" bp patients. They were made for stabalizing seizures...but along the way "someone" found they helped stabalize bp sufferers. They haven't changed the name (although some pdoc's wonder why) but this is common with many meds...made for one "disease" and used for many other illnesses. For example... Zyban is an antidepressant...they found that depressed people who smoked were quitting and then started using this med as an aide to quit smoking. Anti psychotic med (name sounds scarry ) is used many times for other reasons.

Re your husbands "problem" (and it is his as wonderwaleye states)...my husband, until my doc explained to him what I was living with, was simular to your husband.

Keep posting...we're here for you


s & s

 

[raylenar]

Hi again,

Okay, big new development. I just found out I'm pregnant! I am very excited, as it was going to be now or never. I was actually pregnant before getting the diagnosis, but didn't know it. So now the meds I was prescribed I can't take, neither can I take my anti-depressants. With being bipolar I had decided not to have anymore children. I seem to be progressively getting worse and it needs to get treated. But I am pregnant, so that's that. I know there are some you can take with pregnancy, but I'd rather not. My husband wanted another child, so when things calm down I know he'll be excited. He's just a little worried right now. I have an appointment with my pdoc later on, so we can see how things are going. I wish I could say things are better with my husband, but they're not. His mom told him that bipolar's only have episodes once every 3-5 years, and they only last for 1-4 days. Is that true? I definitely have them more than that. Thanks!

 

[PrairieGurl]

His mom told him that bipolar's only have episodes once every 3-5 years, and they only last for 1-4 days. Is that true? I definitely have them more than that. Thanks!

Raylenar,

Congrats on your pregnacy

Is your husbands mom a doc? That is a MAJOR untruth!!! Everyone that suffers with bp, cycle different...but let me tell you...IT SURE HAPPENS MORE THAN EVER 3-5 YEARS!!!!! AND CAN LAST FROM AN HOUR TILL WHO KNOWS HOW LONG!!!
There is much info on bp out there. Maybe you could find some to show your husband and definately show your mother-in-law.

It saddens me to hear about your husband and your relationship. I will continue to pray for you both.

With s & s,
Wendy

 

[Alive again]

Hello and wlecome to cf! I remember these days. Do all you can to educate yourslef about bp. There are excellent websites, magazines and books to help you . NAMI also has a family2famliy class that your hubby may find helpful. There may be support groups inyour area as well. And of course this fourm is an exceelent palce to come and get supported and understanding and encouragement are never far away!

Soem of our older threads have info on books, websites and even a magazine also some good threads with bible verses and coping stragtegies. Feel free to join us anytime and wlecome to cf!!!

 

[raylenar]

Hi again,

I have been given my husband his space, it seems that's what he's been asking for. I don't have a lot of patience and so that is hard for me. I'm like to solve problems immediately, or at least talk about them. He doesn't. I don't mind fighting. He hates it. Thanks for letting me come here to ask my questions, instead of hounding my husband. He really is a good guy and loves me a lot. I often don't understand why, but I know that he does. Much like God. I'm thinking of going to the library tomorrow in search of some books I found I would like to read. I don't like not knowing things, especially when it's about me. But I really don't understand this disease, and I don't have many people around me who do. But I have cf, so thanks!! I feel less depressed getting on here and interacting. It's great.