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Neuroplasticity

RCF

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Okay, here we go. I've been doing some more studfing and internet research on the 5 step process. It appears that the first few days are going to be much more intensive than the whole 21 day process. Dr. Leaf has 27 videos on youtube, discussing what we are about to try. This linc should go to the one to help us start. She talks about the first 7 days as beeing more intense, 7 to 14 times a day of going through the process. From days 8 to 21, it is more of a daily activity, part of her quiet time.

She also says to find what is causing you trouble at the time and focus on that. To chaotic to tackle everything at once.

Dr. Leaf | Applying the SWOYB 5-Steps Part 2 - YouTube

I am actually off work the next 2 days, so I am going to dive in and see how everything goes. I'll keep you posted.

RCF
 
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RCF

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NowhereManNot,

I spent a lot of time yesterday studying the text, the science of what Caroline teaches. It is pretty interesting. I have a science background, but not neuro science. Nevertheless, it was really inreresting when you are thinking about applying this to yourself, and you are seeing the things that will hopefully take place in your own brain and body.

Let me say this, though. If you try to understand everything, every last detail before you start the application to your life, you'll need a PhD in neuroscience. Don't reinvent the wheele, Dr. Caroline Leaf designed the wheel, now drive on it!

I am surprised and so excited. I just went through her 5 step, turn your brain on plan, and wow. I had no idea!

Before I go into any more details, I will say this. I took me a little bit to get started. It was so abstract. I may have spent the first 30 min.s kind of twidling my thumbs and wondering if I was doing it right. I can tell that if you don't really give it a chance, you will give up and think, well, this is not the right thing for me. But give it a chance.

I made a list in of things in my thoughts during the first, gather step. From that I simply followed her directions. And when I got to the journal, Metacog step, i found a large piece of art paper and my daughter's markers. I put me in the midle, and went all around the page diagraming my thoughts. It was actually kind of fun, as well as revealing.

But when I go to the Revisit, that is when it all came together. I'm sitting at my kitchen table, tears running down my face, realizing things about myself I have ignored for years. I was able to look inside of my self and pray, finding answers with God. Finding forgiveness for things I didn't realize bothered me, forgiving my self, and others. Identifiying the root of problems that seemed insicnificant; but when there are 3 or 4 insig. problems that you suddenly realize are all tied together, not so insignificant.

The prayer, wow! Identifying and addressing things individually, talking to God, Jesus, and the Spirit, when I finally worked around the things on my Metacog page, I was totally pumped! I am praying with power, strength that I've never known before, authority I didn't understand before.

But you gotta buy in! Half hearted is not going to get you there.

It did take me a while to complete my first session, so plan a few hours of alone time to start out. I am still not sure about how I will follow up throughout the day, but I will keep you posted and let you know what I discover.

NowhereManNot, I don't know what each individual person can get out of this process, but if I were to have gotten a 10th out of this first session, it would have been worth the price of admission. If I don't make a bit more progress, I have been completely blessed already. I would really encourage you and anyone else reading this to look into Caroline Leaf's teachings, or as I will call them from here forward, "The Way of the Leaf". Joke for Serenity fans out there.

When you get ready to try, let me know. I will pray for you, and support you any way I can.

RCF
 
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NowhereManNot

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I Know what your saying brother ie beware annalysis parralysis - will set asside a time this weekend.

Don't forget 4 days to change toxic thoughts(pathways), 21 days to create new healthy thoughts. pg 46 para 3b. I guess if we get it right we wont have to make the boys learn it, rather they will want to catch it off us!

Here's to the way of the leaf.

NWMN
 
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RCF

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Okay, day 2. Tougher to do everything on a work day. A 12 1/2 hr. day. But, not impossible.

I was a little unsure of how to go about day 2, so I used the same journal from day 1 to guide my steps. I didn't think I should do a different metacog because I am still cementing the new neural pathways. So today was a lot of reinforcement of the things I discovered yesterday;a lot of prayers and continued review. While contemplating, I am still discovering additional locations and angles of yesterday's info.

I will tell you what, yesterday was a spiritual workout! When I went to bed, I was exhausted, but in a good way. I have gone to the gym before and made my body exhausted from the workout, but I have never done this spiritually before. At least not at this level.

Well NWMN, it has been a long day. More updates soon!

RCF
 
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Illflyaway

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My husband is definitely in the isolation/withdrawl downward spiral right now. I'm praying he will have a revelation like yours. Thank you for the encouragement.

Blessings,
MEG

You know I was really struggling in my relationship with my wife one day and I'm sure God showed me something that to me is very profound. He kind of said - THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS ASPERGERS IN CHRIST! - & that makes so much senses to me. At the time it was so comforting to discover this - Suddenly all the hurtfull things that people say to you are just like water off a ducks back - there is an out, somewhere i can go to get away from this thing. I just need to practice what it means to be IN CHRIST.
.....

As I said previously; Aspergerism tends to result in a kind of polarisation where relational (love) defficets are more obvious so we are confronted with our flaws everyday - boy are we confronted. At this point this is where so many aspies fall. We give up and withdraw from people choosing to immerse ourselves in some special interest so we can insulate ourselves from the constant hurt and feel like we still have purpose. We may get hostile or bitter towards people, especially when they criticise our special interest, diminishing our significance even more. And this is it, we get better at the micro and worse at the macro. & this is a catch 22, the worse you get at relationships the worse you become if you continually practice withdrawal.
 
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NowhereManNot

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Hey MEG don't flyaway just yet, rather do Isiah 40:31, plus VIP to find caring support network to make up for the deficit you will experience on the home front. It is the main thing that has kept my wife going. What you are experiencing is known as Casandra Syndrome. I found it very helpfull understanding that my wife and 99% of wives 'CONFRONT TO CONNECT' although to a husband, especially one with ASPie symptoms it comes across as confronting to attack. If you were a guy you would get a punch in the nose. When all you seem to experience is a world that rejects you one more confrontation is more of the same. He needs to know very clearly that you ACCEPT HIM as a person (this does not mean you have to accept unhealthy behavior). Also you must try NOT to have the mind set that he must earn your respect. Just as we husbands are called to love our wives as Christ loves the church -ie unconditionally, I believe all of us, especially wives are challenged to respect unconditionally. This is not what the world teaches at all & you can toss that one if you like, that is just my opinion. He just needs to be convinced that you really are on his side.
 
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NowhereManNot

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Hey RCF
Thx heaps for the link, my wife & I listened to Carolines latest ideas on the net after I got your response. Caroline seems to have modified her approach slightly. ie 21 days on each of the 5 stages have I got that correct? Gather for 21 days Reflect, Journal,Revisit,Reach all for 21 days. We were both really encouraged to listen to her again. The trick at the moment is setting asside some time. I have been taking the book to work sneeking a peek there is hardly productive. I take it to basketball twice a week, again hard to watch my children play and read at the same time. The title of the book is a bit 'telling' too - not something most people would carry around in public (Who switched Off My Brain). But tennacity will prevail.
Last night my wife and I had a long meeting with a couple who are pastors and 3 other men who I approached about making themselves available as a support network. It looks very promising, one of them is a speech therapist very gentle guy (struggling with his own marriage), one of them used to be a mechanic, still likes his beer & his footy (Aust rules football) but become a nurse quite a few years ago because he felt God wanted him to. Had marriage problems of his own ie an affair but worked through it, the third is an artist celebrating his 42nd wedding Anniversary that day - yet found the time to come to the meeting to help us. The pastor couple adopted a boy discovered later in life he had asperges, suspect the speech therapists son also has Aspergers. An amazing mix of people am expecting it will be mutually benificial. They might get insight for their own circumstances and I'm sure my wife and I will get through with their help. I covet your prayers brother & I pray for you too. (Here's to the way of the leaf)
 
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RCF

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NhMN, congrats on building your support group. It sounds like you and your wife are doing some great things for your marriage, and your family.

Yea, The Way of the Leaf can be time consuming. I am still working through it and benefiting. On days that I am working or am extremely busy with projects, it is a lot more difficult. But I think what happens is that you develop a mindset in between sessions that continues to edify and protect you. Ie, temptation arises during the day that you have been metacoging about, your mind has built up defenses against it bothering you as much. Oh you see things all around, but your response is different, better.

I talked with a Christian book store yesterday about Caroline's books, and they are discontinuing ours. But they are about to receive "how to switch on your brain". I think I may look into that one and see if her plan is more updated and refined.

Your question about the 21 day process is something I have been curious about. Thought about moving around a bit. I have been working on Toxic thoughts so far, but I wonder If she has updated her recommendations.

Good to hear of your progress,
get in the Way of the Leaf!

RCF
 
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RCF

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Another word of advise.

If you and your wife are going to work on this together, I would highly encourage it. But, I think you will be most benefit if you keep your info to yourself. With the metacog, you have to put down things that are only for you. For you to be able to overcome problems that may have been haunting you for years, you are going to have to journal things that are hard explain to others, or may even be embarrassing for others to read. I know, you are supposed to share everything, but believe me, some things need to be purged prior to sharing. I don't know what things may be an obstacle to you, but everyone has things they are not proud of.

At least when you are beginning, each of you do your on metacog and work on it individually. You can share in the experience in many ways, but your journals should be your own, for your own eyes. I can see this being expanded for a couple to journal together on some things, but to begin, keep it private.

One of the best things you guys can do together is talk about the plan and figure out how it works together. You know, the x's and o's of it, structure and plan.

I would also recommend that you take one of your sessions outside. Go to a place that God is visible everywhere. My job requires me to use a boat occasionally. I took a 10 minute break in the middle of nowhere in a creek and went over my journal from earlier. Very cool experience.

RCF
 
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NowhereManNot

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Thats awsome - on a boat in the middle of nowhere - (did you catch any fish?) Agreed on the privacy thing - you know the old saying a problem shared is a problem halved well that can be a front for a plain old B****ch session or just more of the old woe is me victim stuff. Would be really good to know God so well you can take all that stuff to Him and really feel like you've had an audience. Guess this is all part of the toxic mindset Caroline is teaching about. Pretty sure this is not just confined to the Aspie domain either. Cheers
 
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RCF

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Didn't catch any fish that day. But it was a good day. Oh, by the way, do you have the edition with a frequently asked question section in it? My kindle version didn't. That, as the name of the section may suggest, is supposed to help in answering some common questions that arise while trying to Switch on Your Brain. Can't find a list of them online. May have to buy something else...after payday.
 
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jackmt

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What is a normal brain?

It is a very Chauvinistic notion. "My way is normal; if it weren't, I would be odd like you. And I'm not odd." "Of course my way is superior; if it weren't, I would be doing it differently."
 
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NowhereManNot

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Soz blue lioness I jumped the gun a bit - didn't look at your other links on neurodiversity, never looked at that issue before thanks so much for that, may I venture another question - just what is acceptable behavior and what is not? The bible is our standard yet I find it frustrating these days reading its measage of love - it just does not come naturally for me. I get the impression or rather am told by neuro - typicals that it does more so for them than it does for me. I don't 'feel' love when I hear that. Now maybe thats the heart of the problem arghhhh sometimes I just want to turn my head off.
 
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jackmt

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The bible is our standard yet I find it frustrating these days reading its measage of love - it just does not come naturally for me.

Love is not a feeling; it is a verb. Read I Cor. 13 with that view in mind.
 
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