needing some help

[ANN2626]

i have been brought up as a Christian and lived in a good religious home but i was never really a Believer until about a couple months ago.
recently i have moved home with my parents. i was living with my boyfriend and another friend. we planned on moving in together in january. i love him with all my heart, we want to be married one day but we want to be financially stable, have a big wedding etc.
it is still hard for me to realize that it is wrong. i mean i know it is like we are married. we already share a bank account, car etc. i guess thats why its hard for me to realize this because i feel like i am married.
we are also in a LDR and thats a reason why i want to live with him again.
i know my mom is going to be so upset when i tell her that i am going to live with him again and that hurts me too. i just really dont know what to do. he is a christian also and he is overcoming alcohol abuse and i feel like i can help him out and show him the right way.
i dunno what to do...is it really bad of me to go?

 

[brinley45cal]

Yes this is wrong.The way i understand it if your living like your married now why not just go ahead with it?You say you want to save money but your sharing bank accounts and everything else which is a bad idea if your not married but thats a different conversation.If your living like your already married and the two of you plan on getting married then you need to go ahead and make it right.Plus you shouldnt have sex before you are married and if you havent done so already living together is just setting yourself up for temptation

 

[Sketcher]

You might as well get married ASAP, if you're that committed to each other and you're sharing all that stuff. But is he a Christian too?

 

[BlessedVegan]

Why don't you have a small ceremony then once you've saved up enough money you can have a big reception and everything? I don't think i'ts wrong to live together if you're not sleeping together, but do you think you can hold out? Especially since you were already sleeping together. I've managed to do it, my boyfriend and I broke up but I'm still living with him until I can afford to move which will be a couple months. And we have not had any sexual activity since we broke up. It helps that I can maintain a completly seperate bedroom from him. But you need to think realistically if you can maintain abstinence living with him. I can only maintain it b/c we are not together anymore but if we were still dating I think it'd be very hard.

 

[ANN2626]

blue impulse wrote:You posed almost this same question in the Courting Couples section of Life Stages (http://www.christianforums.com/t115...g-together.html).. the consensus was really clear so far, it almost seems as if you are trying to find *anyone* who will condone you moving back in with your boyfriend. This really seems dangerous to me.If you need to seek so hard for justification for your actions, this should be a prominent sign of things in general. And we can tell that you already know whats right by the sounds of things.. do not let your boyfriend manipulate you into otherwise.


i want to try to understand this. it has nothing to do with trying to find someone who agrees with me or saying hes manipulating me. you can take it however you want but I,MYSELF am trying to understand why i dont feel like its wrong. i hear it from so many people but i cant seem to get it. a marriage is a certificate and a ring plus a promise but we commit ONLY to eachother, we have made a promise. so what is that difference. i cant seem to understand this
annie

 

[ANN2626]

(blunt response, be prepared..)



If you really can't wait to move in with this guy.. then marry him. And I hate saying that, because it makes a mockery of the marriage system in my mind.. you should be marrying on God's schedule when He tells you that you are ready and not just because you want to start living with each other "now now now".. like a child demanding a toy! "I want it Now!" .. ok, you want it now.. so what? What does GOD want for you, what is GOD telling you? You need to put away selfish wants and needs in order to find out.

~ ~

ok i totally respect what you are saying but the thing that bothers me most is dont marry because you want it now now now???? IF YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOIUR LIFE WITH SOMEONE WHY NOT DO IT ASAP?
i totally respect your words of advice and i want to understand things. im sorry if i am really defensive but i am still confused on a lot of things.
trust me...i hear this everyday from my mother and i still cant understand thats why im here to get more advice and understanding from strangers rather than my own mother.
thanks for listening, caring and praying for me.