needing answers from men

[pinkfaith7]

I would like to ask you men if you would be raw honest and tell me something. Have any of you had absolute complete victory and freedom from from sexual addiction or pornography? Have you known of any man who has? Im not talking about havent done it in x amount of time. True complete victory where it discusts you and you are not tempted in any way. I have known alcoholics, gamblers and drug addicts who despise their former addictions and it doesnt ever enter their mind anymore. Full recovery. You dont hear about this in sexual addiction, so Im asking you personally.I so appreciate your cander. Thanks guys.

 

[Purge187]

I suspect you're asking this because you don't feel like you're "making progress" in this aspect of life.

Many preachers would have you believe that you can accept Christ, go to bed, and then wake up in the morning with the spiritual maturity of Billy Graham. It doesn't work like that, and God doesn't expect it to. A person in the military doesn't go from Private to General overnight. It takes time, discipline and study, just like our walk with the Lord.

I accepted Christ in 1998 and still let my emotions get the better of me sometimes. But God is faithful to cleanse us from all unrighteousness if we confess our sins to Him.

 

[pinkfaith7]

Im asking because of someone close to me never getting victory and freedom from this addiction for 40 years[seriously 40 years,not a figure of speech]. Counseling, church, SA groups, therapy, losing people right and left, relationships destroyed, removing obstacles that cause stumbling, emersing inthe word, alll the things, but still acting out. So I guess truthfully, Im questioning if anyone gets free from this like drugs or alcohol or gambling. People get to a point where they dont look back, not so with sexual addiction? Im assuming not, since not one single man has posted that they are completely free of it.Wow. Thats certainly not hopeful.

 

[Johnnz]

Don't despair. There is a lot of confusion around human sexuality. Sometimes too what some see as an addiction may have more to do with an (very) active sex drive, and that can confuse and condemn many people.

John
NZ

 

[Servant of the Almighty]

I've been set free from pornography and homosexuality. I'm extremely disgusted at how Satan has taken the amazing and wonderful design of God and twisted to trap people into a prison of self-destructing desires. Every time I see a commercial, Ad or picture that communicates lust, I feel convicted and overwhelmed for the individuals whose looks are used to feed lustful desires and disorderly passions. What helped me? Philippians 4:6. We have to learn to take God at His word, we have to make up our mind to not give into the enemy's ways. The Word of God calls us to renew our mind, and that happens everyday. We are to renew our mind EVERYDAY and not conform to this world, Romans 12:2...this is NOT easy but as you ask God for grace and power, He hears you, in the name of Jesus. 1 Peter 5;8 calls us to " Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." The enemy prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour...the prowling indicates patience and persistence. See satan waits around for an opportunity to attack unless we make up our mind to NOT give in, he will easily find that opportunity.

You see it is NOT what we eat that contaminates us but what it is in our heart. Pornography only feeds the sin of the heart, it is not what causes sin. Your friend needs to repent and pray wholeheartedly for God to forgive the sin that is causing him to continue to fall in the same pit. This is nothing but a combination of a sinful heart and an enemy willing to contribute to the self-destruction. The work of Christ on the cross was COMPLETE, and unless your friend asks for God to grant him a spirit of repentance, he will find himself in this situation until judgment day . Matthe 14:17-20

Beloved friend, I have been there and even as I type I get so angry at our willingness to give satan a space to work in our lives. We are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus and we must persevere to end for only those persevere to end will be saved. I pray for God to bring your friend to repentance and understanding, it is only there that he will find redemption and victory over this.

To God be all the glory, honor and praise for my deliverance and for sustaining me this far. In Jesus, my savior, counselor and friend's name. AMEN!

 

[rev2214]

Hello , i can say i can say i have overcame these sexual addictions but this was only through regular prayer to god which is our source of strength to overcome these things

but where living in a world full of temptations everywhere we go especially in the media, but without out a prayer life for spiritual strength these temptations are going to come in and sweep you off your feet

for example, look how jesus overcame - read the gospels and take a look at his prayer life


And when you have overcame these things dont bother you much anymore or have dominion over you

Certain things i used to do i'm ashamed of and feel disgusted to think that was actually me doing this

This verse speaks to me a lot Romans 6:21 What fruit did you have then in the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death.

 

[anonym00s]

I would like to ask you men if you would be raw honest and tell me something. Have any of you had absolute complete victory and freedom from from sexual addiction or pornography? Have you known of any man who has? Im not talking about havent done it in x amount of time. True complete victory where it discusts you and you are not tempted in any way. I have known alcoholics, gamblers and drug addicts who despise their former addictions and it doesnt ever enter their mind anymore. Full recovery. You dont hear about this in sexual addiction, so Im asking you personally.I so appreciate your cander. Thanks guys.

I don't know if this this is what you are talking about but I have not looked at porn in over decade. I only ever saw it on a few occasions from what I remember. I am not tempted to look at it at all today. And I remember that every man should take heed if he thinks he stands, lest he fall. I don't know how disgusted I am by it since I have not seen it in so long by I just think "why would I want to look at that?"

Also, I used to deal with homosexual temptation. Over time I did get disgusted by it because I remember feeling like puking (I think I started to) when a guy started doing something inappropriate to me. I get tempted by it from time to time but if I ignore it it usually goes away. I think I get tempted by less than 1% of guys so it's not exactly debilitating. One thing I had to realize was that I was letting my mind run into all these imaginations and I had become so used to it that it was almost normal. There were trains of thought in the back of my mind that I had to acknowledge and repent of. I think when you first deal with something like this you look on the outside, what you are doing. But you don't realize at first that the actions are just a fruit of what you have let run on in your mind.

 

[transparentthought13]

In all honesty, can anyone ever say they've completely beat any sort of sin? I mean, we all have a sin nature; somethings may not tempt us as much from year to year in our lives, but that doesn't mean we're completely exempt from ever falling into that sin again. If you had talked to me 10 years ago and tell me I would eventually enter into a daily struggle against homosexuality, I would have laughed in your face and told you there's no way that could ever happen. I was completely confident in my ability to resist those sorts of "major" sins.....boy, how the Lord has humbled me in that regard.

The goal is not perfect victory over a sin; that ain't gonna happen until we reach heaven. The goal is increasing Christ-likeness, or "sanctification" to use a churchy word. We are to be molding our lives around His example through the power of the Holy Spirit. If you can see progress in your friend, the Lord is working in him. If there isn't any progress, then the situation becomes a little different, and you start to compare against what should be seen in his life. Christ talks in Matt 7 about knowing people by their fruits: if your friend is a true believer, he should have evidences of that in his life. If he doesn't, it may be time to have an in-depth conversation with him about what it really means to be saved.

 

[anonym00s]

transparent,

I definitely agree that last part about knowing people by their fruits. And I will tie what you say into that verse that says let any man who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.

 

[TacomaDude71]

I don't think that we as human beings are ever free from sexual desire and I think that it would be inhuman if all sexual desire disgusts a human. I used to think that I was a sex addict. I looked at lots of porn and self-gratified myself over the years. But I think that that was poor choices-not a true addiction. I never tried to give it up honestly. Ever since I have made an honest attempt at sexual purity, I find that the porn was the easiest to give up...I am still porn free and have no real desire to look at porn anymore. But that does not relieve the sexual tension that builds up. I have slipped some on this and have fallen to the urge of self-gratification...ok I am not proud of it (Biblically is is clear that this is sexual impurity even though the Bible does not directly address masturbation) , but it is definitely not habitual. I try not to and usually it will go away. I am still young in my walk with Christ. When I do act out, I feel bad (I am not going to beat myself up over it) I run towards Christ and ask for forgiveness (some scholars say that this is not necessary as all sins have been paid for on the cross) and begin the process of repentance.

So I feel like that this is progress even though I am not pure by Biblical standards. Christ is working in me. We as humans will always be tempted by our sex drive and must realize what is an addiction or just an active drive. It is our will totally what we do with it. Ideally it will be for the glory of God, but sometimes we miss the mark and we have to deal with it and hope that He has mercy on us when we fail and learn from it and become closer to Him when we are weak.

 

[OGM]

Don't despair. There is a lot of confusion around human sexuality. Sometimes too what some see as an addiction may have more to do with an (very) active sex drive, and that can confuse and condemn many people.

John
NZ

I would go with this above. Sexuality, even if single is sometimes very difficult to stop because it is integrated with the rest of our humanity.

 

[dayhiker]

Hi pink, welcome to CF.

My observation is that most men that have victory are older. Our testosterone goes down as we age and it become easier with age in general. I know it has with me. But I can't say I have fully stopped watching porn. So know that I'm single if I know a woman is concern about porn I'll just be friendly, no dating. Its really helped me have a lot better relationships. So I think there are some men who can testify and do that they have victory. I personally don't have victory in the sense that you are asking. That's honestly how I see it.

 

[Aspireman]

I sometimes wish I had no sexual urges at all. I don't like being the lustful person I am. I constantly have feelings, even sometimes reading these forums. I don't know why I'm like this. I struggle with the fact that God gave us such a responsibility, to control our sexual tendencies. I hope we can all have control sometime in our lives. Till then, Lord have mercy on us.

 

[iambren]

I can confess that I have never been addicted to porn or masturbation.


Porn I can watch for 3-5 minutes(mildly stimulating) then it get's boring to me and I get a sick feeling in my stomach.

Masturbation was a welcome relief in my adolescent years but it wasn't an addiction thing. Now I'm actually happy about 1 X/week that I can be aroused enough to touch to [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] and I'm on testosterone cream treatment! <staff edit>

 

[Purge187]

I sometimes wish I had no sexual urges at all. I don't like being the lustful person I am. I constantly have feelings, even sometimes reading these forums. I don't know why I'm like this. I struggle with the fact that God gave us such a responsibility, to control our sexual tendencies. I hope we can all have control sometime in our lives. Till then, Lord have mercy on us.

Again, join the club. Just don't let Satan convince you that you can't be forgiven.

So far as I can tell, the only men who will ever be 100% lust-free are eunuchs. Keep asking God to give you the upper-hand. There's a freedom in being in control of your urges that most men won't know.

 

[Johnnz]

So far as I can tell, the only men who will ever be 100% lust-free are eunuchs. Keep asking God to give you the upper-hand. There's a freedom in being in control of your urges that most men won't know.

I suspect a far from healthy understanding of human sexuality. Singles will know about sexual arousal. But that is not lust. Finding the opposite sex attractive is not lust. Thinking about having sex some day is not inherently lustful. Curiosity about the bodies of the opposite sex is part pf being a sexually mature person. I'm pretty sure that people who experience the above are not also scheming to actually have sex with those around them, which would be lust.

John
NZ

 

[OGM]

I suspect a far from healthy understanding of human sexuality. Singles will know about sexual arousal. But that is not lust. Finding the opposite sex attractive is not lust. Thinking about having sex some day is not inherently lustful. Curiosity about the bodies of the opposite sex is part pf being a sexually mature person. I'm pretty sure that people who experience the above are not also scheming to actually have sex with those around them, which would be lust.

John
NZ

I wish more could see it that way instead of forcing themselves down a conflicted, self-hating abyss. So many books, seminars, websites out there selling lust eradication. It's a huge industry that doesn't know it's proper boundaries.