Need some support

[Mariya116]

You should consider exploring other churches and find one that have a more "healthy" Christian population. Some Christians honestly believe there is nothing wrong at all with living together and having sex before marriage.

I once mentioned this issue to an Episcopalian priest. To which he said that the Episcopal Church does not view sex outside of marriage as a sin. My jaw dropped. LOL.

 

[CCHIPSS]

I once mentioned this issue to an Episcopalian priest. To which he said that the Episcopal Church does not view sex outside of marriage as a sin. My jaw dropped. LOL.

There are many false prophets out there. They all claimed to work in the name of Christ. That's why we have to be careful. We must rely on the bible, and not human prophets, pastors and priests.

I am of course not saying we should stop going to church. But we must compare what these prophets are telling us with what was said in the bible.

http://www.openbible.info/topics/judging_false_teachers

Romans 16:17-18 ESV / 184 helpful votes

I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive.

Matthew 7:15 ESV / 181 helpful votes

“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.

1 John 4:1 ESV / 171 helpful votes

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.

John 7:24 ESV / 85 helpful votes

Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.”

2 Timothy 4:3-4 ESV / 54 helpful votes

For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.

 

[Mariya116]

I know this can be hard
fear of rejection
fear of being looked at like you are "weird"

just slow down, take a few deep breaths
say "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner"
and focus on the task at hand

remember who you are, remember who the Lord is, stay true to Him and let the future untangle itself

thank you so much for sharing this with us
your honesty and your faithfulness to God is a sign of the good things He has done in your life

Thank you.

 

[Rhamiel]

I once mentioned this issue to an Episcopalian priest. To which he said that the Episcopal Church does not view sex outside of marriage as a sin. My jaw dropped. LOL.

wow!:o

well remember, the Church is a hospital for sinners

 

[Shattered-Reflections]

I see lots of Orthodox Christians who go to church, baptize kids etc. but comfortably live in sin. There are those who do not but I only know few of them personally and not closely. I understand that every man answers for himself etc., but more of a fellowship would be helpful. My two believing and abstaining friends are an Orthodox and a Methodist I believe. I don't care about denominations when choosing friends or a man.

Every man answers not to himself, but to God. Though every Christians is responsible for their choices, part of being in a church and having church leadership is to have others to hold us accountable and give guidance. Not to say the church "lords over us" and dictate our lives but they are called "shepherds" because they are to help care for His "sheep" -- just as Christ would. If I met a woman who said "cohabitate before marriage is a good idea" I would sit down with her and have a heart-to-heart. As a christian taking care of my sisters and brothers in love is the natural result of becoming more like Christ.

No denominations doesn't matter, there is only one church which Christ is head. I'm just saying, find a church community that will support you in your Christian walk in both grace and truth.

 

[Mariya116]

Okay I told him. He said he was brought up that way (I knew that) and understands. He wants us to go on and see what happens. The date's on. I'm surprised. I expected the phone to get hung up on me.

 

[Rhamiel]

Okay I told him. He said he was brought up that way (I knew that) and understands. He wants us to go on and see what happens. The date's on. I'm surprised. I expected the phone to get hung up on me.

he just knows that you are worth the wait

 

[Jupiter Drops]

I once mentioned this issue to an Episcopalian priest. To which he said that the Episcopal Church does not view sex outside of marriage as a sin. My jaw dropped. LOL.

The Episcopal Church is a heathen church. They try to reconcile with the world and taint the Lord's name to suit their purposes.


If the guy stated his purpose in what his dating style is like -that is, he is more interested in the sex aspect- you should drop him immediately.

 

[CCHIPSS]

Okay I told him. He said he was brought up that way (I knew that) and understands. He wants us to go on and see what happens. The date's on. I'm surprised. I expected the phone to get hung up on me.

My sister please remember, words means very little. Men can deceive women so easily with enough practice, and this guy sounds like he got more than enough practise. Observe him very closely.

In fact, I would advice you go "go out of you way" and delay/avoid any physical contact with him for as long as you can (never mind sex). Avoid hand holding. Avoid hugging. Avoid kissing. If he asks, tell him flat out that you like him too much to temp him. Do this for as long as possible.

In contrast to what the secular world tells us, a real relationship requires zero physical contact. Any physical contact are bonus. When we Christian date we do not demonstrate love though physical contact. Physical contact is not prove of love. We demonstrate love by showing "Godly love" to the other person.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8English Standard Version (ESV)

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

If he can take that and continue the relationship, then there is prove that he actually "understands". If he keeps on insisting and then leaves, let him walk away in peace. We all know what he was planning.

At the end of the day, do not place your faith and trust in any human. Humans will certainly disappoint you, Christians or non-Christians. (Not saying you should hate anyone. But do not rely on them for your hopes and dreams.) Place your faith and trust in Jesus. Rely on him for your hopes and dreams.

 

[Mariya116]

CCHIPSS,
Thanks for your feedback. I don't have much faith in this situation to be truthful. I'm 35, he is 2 years younger, and that's another issue all in itself. We can keep hanging out but it won't be a huge shock and end of the world for me if it doesn't last. On the one hand, the observant and secular worlds do not mix and when they try to mix mess results (as in our case). On the other hand, examples abound of the weirdest situations working out. So, who the heck knows.

 

[E.C.]

So, one minute I feel like I'm a crazy one complicating my own life. Another minute I want to be a "true Christian." That's why this is all so stressful.

I know your pain. I'm in the Navy and surrounded by sailors who advocate all kinds of pre-marital bad ideas!

 

[Mariya116]

I know your pain. I'm in the Navy and surrounded by sailors who advocate all kinds of pre-marital bad ideas!

Are you hanging tough?

 

[Nanopants]

This thread -_-

Not that this was your intent but it really just seems to be kicking up some kind of "watch out for men" and "get those heathens" kind of attitude.

Okay so I met this guy. We had a wonderful first date and he's interested. I'm interested too. We made plans for a second date this weekend. From the things he said it was clear that to him, sex is part of a relationship. So I have to break it down to this guy that I can't go to bed with a man unless I'm married. This is really stressing me out, I can't even concentrate on my work today.

Can relate. I once *kind of* dated a Christian girl who initiated conversation (whether or not she was actually pursuing me is questionable), and for some reason thought it was a good idea to start sexually flirting with me, bringing up all kinds of sexually explicit subjects, etc, without my invitation and later after I hadn't come down hard on her with the heathen hammer (because I thought it was natural but a bit misguided), she turned on me and started accusing me as being some sort of a heathen myself. I did like her a lot for other reasons, but thankfully we never got so far as having had sex since she seemed to have some sort of psychological problem that could have caused us both a lot of trouble in the long run.

The reason I bring that up is to provide a little contrast. Not that you personally have done this, but why should we think that men are evil because they're interested in, God forbid, something He created and made men to do, whereas anything up to and including stabbing folks in their backs with our words, judgments and accusations is considered to be a-OK? There's just something oddly sick about that sort of thinking, and what I think we should not condone is unfaithful, unloving treatment, including using people for sex, and for that reason it is smart to wait.

As for some of the other posts here, and I'm kind of just putting this out there in an indirect manner, I have a short story for consideration. There's a friend who I've known since grade school, who was a christian when he was a child but later departed and dabbled in some other religions. Needless to say, he didn't agree with the generally accepted conservative christian ethic, he met a girl in his mid 20's, and they cohabited. At that point I was faced with a choice. I could have treated him as if I were the boss of his life, destroyed their relationship, my relationship with him, and walked away beaming with the righteousness of a bright and shining pharisee, but I didn't. I chose to treat him decently. Now, years later, those two are officially married with a child, and he has reconverted back to Christianity. Did I make the wrong decision?

I don't think so, and the following comes to mind:

Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith. -Gal 6:10

Also consider that the Samaritans were considered heretics by the established order back in Jesus' day, and what sort of example did He leave for us concerning them?

P.S. I think LOTF had some good advice.

 

[Mariya116]

This thread -_-

Not that this was your intent but it really just seems to be kicking up some kind of "watch out for men" and "get those heathens" kind of attitude.



Can relate. I once *kind of* dated a Christian girl who initiated conversation (whether or not she was actually pursuing me is questionable), and for some reason thought it was a good idea to start sexually flirting with me, bringing up all kinds of sexually explicit subjects, etc, without my invitation and later after I hadn't come down hard on her with the heathen hammer (because I thought it was natural but a bit misguided), she turned on me and started accusing me as being some sort of a heathen myself. I did like her a lot for other reasons, but thankfully we never got so far as having had sex since she seemed to have some sort of psychological problem that could have caused us both a lot of trouble in the long run.

The reason I bring that up is to provide a little contrast. Not that you personally have done this, but why should we think that men are evil because they're interested in, God forbid, something He created and made men to do, whereas anything up to and including stabbing folks in their backs with our words, judgments and accusations is considered to be a-OK? There's just something oddly sick about that sort of thinking, and what I think we should not condone is unfaithful, unloving treatment, including using people for sex, and for that reason it is smart to wait.

As for some of the other posts here, and I'm kind of just putting this out there in an indirect manner, I have a short story for consideration. There's a friend who I've known since grade school, who was a christian when he was a child but later departed and dabbled in some other religions. Needless to say, he didn't agree with the generally accepted conservative christian ethic, he met a girl in his mid 20's, and they cohabited. At that point I was faced with a choice. I could have treated him as if I were the boss of his life, destroyed their relationship, my relationship with him, and walked away beaming with the righteousness of a bright and shining pharisee, but I didn't. I chose to treat him decently. Now, years later, those two are officially married with a child, and he has reconverted back to Christianity. Did I make the wrong decision?

I don't think so, and the following comes to mind:

Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith. -Gal 6:10

Also consider that the Samaritans were considered heretics by the established order back in Jesus' day, and what sort of example did He leave for us concerning them?

P.S. I think LOTF had some good advice.

Not sure what any of the above has to do with my post.

LOTF did have good advice.

 

[Nanopants]

For some reason there was mention of male deception, demonic influence, false prophets, Episcopalians, heathens, and more, and I'm really not sure what any of that has to do with your OP, but it's all there, along with my contribution.

Do some christians start out as non-christans with different morals than strict, conservative christians, but try to live as decent human beings with some sort of beliefs or ethics? You bet.

Might there be some Anglicans who are innocent of heresy and stand falsely accused by some of the conversation that took place here? Very possibly.

Are we breeding hostility or hospitality toward these folks? Are we sowing seeds of peace or discord, slander and false accusation?

I find the reference to Romans 16:17-18 made earlier in this thread to be very applicable, but in a somewhat ironic sense, though it should be no surprise given the clearly stated teachings of Christ. I hope they aren't being disregarded.

 

[Rhamiel]

there has been some.... interesting advice in this thread....

 

[Mariya116]

Might there be some Anglicans who are innocent of heresy and stand falsely accused by some of the conversation that took place here? Very possibly.

I like the Church of England. I go to this one Episcopal church in NYC when I have the money for the toll and gas. They have insightful sermons. Anglican church music is heavenly. I was honestly surprised to hear what that priest told me about premarital sex. I believe that God looks at every individual's devotion personally. Every person faces his own situations and choices, and that's what God looks at I believe.

 

[Nanopants]

I like the Church of England. I go to this one Episcopal church in NYC when I have the money for the toll and gas. They have insightful sermons. Anglican church music is heavenly. I was honestly surprised to hear what that priest told me about premarital sex. I believe that God looks at every individual's devotion personally. Every person faces his own situations and choices, and that's what God looks at I believe.

Yeah, fair enough. It didn't look like you intended for those topics to come up in response to the OP. I personally don't share their stance on marriage, but I do know that there are difficult questions and problems on that subject that most people don't even think about, and they aren't easy to answer.

 

[E.C.]

Are you hanging tough?

eh... some days are easier than others. When you experience rejection from a good lady who is not only Orthodox but also raised in a military family it makes for a rough day Luckily the weekend is upon us... soon So I'll recover

I've hit the point where I'm happy walking away with closure in spite of rejection. Eight billion people in the world, roughly half are female... I figure one down, 3,999,999,999 more females to go... There has to be good odds to find a winner in there somehow!

 

[blackribbon]

eh... some days are easier than others. When you experience rejection from a good lady who is not only Orthodox but also raised in a military family it makes for a rough day Luckily the weekend is upon us... soon So I'll recover

I've hit the point where I'm happy walking away with closure in spite of rejection. Eight billion people in the world, roughly half are female... I figure one down, 3,999,999,999 more females to go... There has to be good odds to find a winner in there somehow!

Why is it considered "rejection" if someone just doesn't think you are a good match? I mean, if there is something about you that she doesn't find attractive or your goals don't match hers or whatever ... do you want her to waste your time and money and potentially hurt your heart by agreeing to go on a date or two just to be nice?

Do you consider it also "rejection" if you see a girl and have no inclination to ask her out? It really is the same....