Need some support,guidance

[raderack]

Bless yer heart, praying. Raderack, slow down, calm down, sit, and breathe slowly and evenly, and clear your mind of stress to give yourself a break from it. Make sure you drink enough fluids to not get dehydrated...that, along with the enormous stress can effect you and cause headaches and memory loss...in the meantime i'm praying for your protection and healing and that God strengthens and sustains you. (((hug)))

i drink water or eat when just my basic instints make me do it,i just dont care,eat and drink is for the people who wants to go on,i dont want to

 

[brinny]

praying (((hug)))

 

[raderack]

A bad day with nothing,nothing changed

 

[brinny]

I'm sooooo sorry you are going through so much.....continuing to pray (((hug)))

 

[raderack]

Mom getting angrier,with her situation..getting harder and harder to handle..and i understand.
The ghost that she might have alzheimer,that she wont remember me.
The back of the family vultures
The lost of a dear friend from here..he appears to be leaving here
Things are going really down the hill

 

[brinny]

Praying for you my friend (((hug)))

 

[raderack]

i will start to write it,what i am,the fight that all of this what happens..what i have feel,experienced in a doc,whatever and post it here,or around internet
at least with that i can cut off the feeling that is keeping me here

 

[brinny]

praying (((hug)))

 

[brinny]

praying for you my friend (((hug)))

 

[raderack]

With the death(we had to put down the poodle of 15 years old of my mom,diabetes,hearth,kidneys..and we dont have the resources to keep her alive with all her medicine),that and the fact that she was anemic..because we all focused so hard in mom that the dogs got a little forgotten..so yeah is my fault..i addmit that..my weak mind and heart killed one of the dearest dog to my own mother,and one of the dearest dog to me..)
She remember me of what my family was like before my father died,16 years ago.

For me that is a sign from god,that i really dont have anything else keeping me here

 

[brinny]

With the death(we had to put down the poodle of 15 years old of my mom,diabetes,hearth,kidneys..and we dont have the resources to keep her alive with all her medicine),that and the fact that she was anemic..because we all focused so hard in mom that the dogs got a little forgotten..so yeah is my fault..i addmit that..my weak mind and heart killed one of the dearest dog to my own mother,and one of the dearest dog to me..)
She remember me of what my family was like before my father died,16 years ago.

For me that is a sign from god,that i really dont have anything else keeping me here

It's not a sign from God. That is an excruciating tragedy, but it;s not a sign from God and you did not kill this precious poodle. Awwww she was old, and sick. It's not your fault. Praying that God ousts all the enemy is throwing at you at this very painful time and that His inexplicable grace supersedes all the enemy is telling you. Tell the enemy to take a hike in Jesus' name, Miguel. Kick him to the curb. Do NOT allow him to bombard you like this. NOW is the time to not allow the enemy to have a foothold in your life or your mom's or your household. Evict him, in Jesus name. I'm tired of the enemy pickin' on my friend (you) and messin' with you. Praying. Hang in there Miguel (((hug)))

 

[raderack]

An small scold due to some mess in some rooms here,when i was walking with mom in the whellchair made my day,and took some of weight and bad feelings inside of me..how can i say that constant weight in my chest got lighter.

Why? because she is an good trace of her personality,what give me hope that she will recover..

 

[brinny]

My friend, that is SOOOOOOO good to hear!!!! God bless BOTH of you dear ones. I'm praying for both of you and especially that your mom is going to be her feisty self once more and can straighten everybody out hahaaaaaaa

 

[raderack]

And now at night,one of the two nurses that are fixed here,meire..is weird..toward me..she is with the door of mom room closed,when i opened and said i dont want it..she said that is not way to work,that she need her privacy(privacy in my house,when she is a nurse taking care of my mom)..that happened around 11:30pm...

And add that the suspicious that my vulture sister cathia only visit when the nurse meire is on duty..and the vulture sister works as secretary in hospitals(so yeah i assume they known each other,too much of coincidence)...so yeah things are not well.

Cant wait for today visit at vulture sister cathia,i cant shake the feeling that this change of attitude of the nurse have something to do with her...and the heartbeat already at 120...

That bad answer of the nurse at the mid of night,made my night..chest in pain..cant stop thinking that they are at it again..lovely

 

[brinny]

And now at night,one of the two nurses that are fixed here,meire..is weird..toward me..she is with the door of mom room closed,when i opened and said i dont want it..she said that is not way to work,that she need her privacy(privacy in my house,when she is a nurse taking care of my mom)..that happened around 11:30pm...

And add that the suspicious that my vulture sister cathia only visit when the nurse meire is on duty..and the vulture sister works as secretary in hospitals(so yeah i assume they known each other,too much of coincidence)...so yeah things are not well.

Cant wait for today visit at vulture sister cathia,i cant shake the feeling that this change of attitude of the nurse have something to do with her...and the heartbeat already at 120...

That bad answer of the nurse at the mid of night,made my night..chest in pain..cant stop thinking that they are at it again..lovely

This nurse does not own the house. KEEP the door open. You are right to be concerned. And yes, KEEP a close eye on her. DON'T let her upset you or stress you. Praying that God calms you and gives you boldness and wisdom in all this and peace, as HE protects you and your mom. Father may it be so, in Jesus name, amen. (((hug)))

 

[raderack]

if when my sister arrives at morning and starts an confusion..because i will tell her to not wake my mom..and together with that nurse..im really afraid of myself .

I dont understand,was so sudden that change of behaviour in the nurse..there is something weird about all of that.

The funny is i just let her answer and close the door in my face,after she said that.
Is 2:17am here i wont discuss this when mom is sleeping..but still hurts,i put my thrust on her..i even let myself to open a little with her.

 

[raderack]

I pray that there will be no mess,or confusion or anything at 7am when the vulture sister arrives..and this nurses just go away..i will complain with the health plan
i will try to relax at bed,because that annoying chest pain is gettting hard to handle,good night
hopefully everything will be ok at morning,for my sanity sake

 

[brinny]

if when my sister arrives at morning and starts an confusion..because i will tell her to not wake my mom..and together with that nurse..im really afraid of myself .

I dont understand,was so sudden that change of behaviour in the nurse..there is something weird about all of that.

The funny is i just let her answer and close the door in my face,after she said that.
Is 2:17am here i wont discuss this when mom is sleeping..but still hurts,i put my thrust on her..i even let myself to open a little with her.

Bless yer heart, you have a right to be concerned. Can you get this nurse replaced if she continues to be rude and disruptive and closes the door in your face? She's there for your mom, not herself. There is no need for HER privacy in there in your mom's room. Praying for you to have strength, wisdom, and guidance my friend (((hug)))

 

[raderack]

again im sorry for the lack of update for one day..it took me about sometime to recover myself from the stress of discussion with my sister..not yet full recovered,but my hands are not shaking..so im better..
and i got some new bruises in myself,wee..done by myself to aliviate the pain..but i must be gratefull that im still sane enough to let only the knife do a bruise not a cut..

 

[brinny]

again im sorry for the lack of update for one day..it took me about sometime to recover myself from the stress of discussion with my sister..not yet full recovered,but my hands are not shaking..so im better..
and i got some new bruises in myself,wee..done by myself to aliviate the pain..but i must be gratefull that im still sane enough to let only the knife do a bruise not a cut..

Thank you for the update. Praying my friend for God's protection on you and that He grants you clarity and wisdom and healing of body, mind, and spirit, and that He is a Light unto your path and a Lamp unto your feet and that nothing that is meant for you or your mom's harm comes anywhere near you. Father may it be so, in Jesus name, amen. (((hug)))