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I live in Canada and I know of several Christian men who have
taken "mail order brides".
When I was still in the USA, the same thing was going on there.
Also there are men who are marrying Christian women
that aren't in their own ethnic group.
I married outside my own ethnic group...we married within 3 months
of meeting online and have been married for 10 years.
That's really good, I'm happy for you. Personally, I'm not interested in finding a mate that way, but I'm glad it all worked out for you. If that is the only way I can meet someone, I'd rather be alone.
Hmmm I see this a lot. People say they want someone but then they won't dip in the Jordan so to speak in order to get the blessing. (see the story if Naaman). This may be your problem right here. Not saying it is, but what if God wanted to work this way, well you have completely shut the door on it. Might want to consider praying and asking God how he plans to work, as often it's not the way we expect. Let God be God - that means let Him do this His way, not your way. and be open to what He wants to do. Not saying you should do it this way, but at least be open to the idea and all other ideas God may choose to work through.
Otherwise you may entirely miss the person when she comes along. Your post seems to indicate you'd be ok with that hmmm so weird how people ask and ask for things and then shut doors. what they are basically saying is "I want this to be done how I want it, when I want it, and with the type of person I choose". Every considered maybe it wont be the person you expect or be done in exactly the way you want, or be done at exactly the time you want? Maybe God wanted to send you a mail order bride as they call them 7 yrs ago but you didn't want that. Well if thats how you feel ok fine, but if you dont work with God dont expect him to answer your prayer.
By the way sorry if I sound cold or unsympathetic. I didn't mean for it to come out that way I'm just absolutely shocked when I see people acting like you do. I'm shocked every timeIt just seems they want a spouse so badly an then immediatey dismiss all suggestions without even trying them. Can I ask why you are so against trying things to perhaps end your singleness?
Yes, there are certain things I am not willing to do. For instance, I would never go to a prostitute. Sin aside, I would also not marry just anyone, nor would I resort to having to marry someone who wants to come to my country only. I've already had many long talks with God about this. He knows where I stand.
This is why I specifically asked Him that if I can not have the type of relationship that I want with the type of person that I want, then He may as well just remove any desire for me to ever find anyone. I'd rather be alone than suffer with someone I don't like. I think that is only fair. So if God is truly only able to bring me someone according to this standard, then He is not all powerful. However, my Bible says "Is anything too hard for the LORD?" The answer is no, of course.
I want to clarify something here. You're thinking I'm desperate to get married just for the sake of being married. That's not me and it never will be. If God is that ignorant of who I am, then I guess He doesn't know me personally, contrary to what I was always taught by the church. He doesn't know me at all. If He did, He would know I'm not going to just settle for anybody. I have standards and I would think He would know that.
Because I would rather be alone than with someone I don't like. Who could blame me for that?
Ok. I do get the vibe from you that you are maybe being too picky? I don't know if that's true, only you do and I may be projecting since I went through that. I had been single so long I had these super high standards. I thought God should send me someone absolutely amazing because I had waited so long for the guy and was a virgin and had done everything right. Without realizing it I started to slip into wanting someone who looked like a model with a genuis IQ and of course had all the deep important things to like was very spiritual and wanted to live his life for others and not himself.
Then I met a guy who was deep and kind and I realized love isn't about all of those traits - it's about the person! This guy isnt a model and he's not Jesus Christ in his love for people; he loves them but he's not perfect. Yet I still care about him. I think before love was a theory but now I understand it by experience and it's NOT like buying a new house or a car. It's so much more than that. I realize now I could be with a model with a genuis IQ and still not love him, because real love isnt a list of traits but a love for the person themselves.
Attraction isn't love. You don't need to bve with the person you are most attracted to because what happens is the person becomes the person you are most attracted to over time as you get to know them. It's pretty amazing how it happens. I didn't used to believe it happened and was only interested in model types who stood out in a crowd. I didnt realize that when I fell in love I'd desire that person more than any model. Real love does amazing things to a believer because when Christ is in the heart we are capable of loving in a deeper way than those who choose the path of selfishness.
I say this because since you have never been in love you may not understand how it works. You are still looking at a list and not a person. But the person you are really best with may already be in your life, you just don't understand how it's impossible to love someone you dont know. Once you get to know them love may change everything.
I've been in love a couple times before. But I don't believe love just hits you. It takes time.
If you're willing to be with anybody I guess, you could fall for them. Stockholm Syndrome indicates people could love anybody, even their abusers. I don't doubt that. What I don't see the point of, is why be with somebody that you don't like, are not attracted to or whatever. That seems pretty strange.
Like I said, I'm not that desperate that I will just take anybody who comes along. Nor do I understand why I should have to. I can't imagine being with somebody who I did not like or love, or who did not feel the same about me. Can you imagine being with somebody who thought you were hideous? I can't, I couldn't handle that.
The Bible says to "Guard your heart" so I'm not just going to open up and fall in love with somebody I know is not right for me. I'll never understand why people insist that others settle in their lives for just anybody.
I disagree. I cant love just anybody. I had several guys I was dating who were very kind to me, attractive, and great people, very respectful and willing to wait till marriage and everything. They had all the right traits. But I didn't fall in love with them. I just didn't love them! I just didn't love who they were as a person.
You said you've been in love several times. What happened? Are you sure it was love and not just infatuation?
What is it you are looking for in a girl exactly? Would be curious to see that. It sounds like this type of person must be one in millions. Do you know someone who is the type of person you are looking for?
I do want to say this too...
If you want to get different results you must do things differently. Yes I know that's very basic but I think it can easily be igored or frgotten.
we get the idea we have to justkeep waiting on God or something. It's been 10 yrs you've been praying. and God is alll for marriage. He likes bringng people together! Especially in this day and age when most ppl dont even want to be married and prefer to sleep around. Just seems it's very likely He is saying yes to prayers like this.
So I think he is on your side. You may not be on your own side though. You may be shooting yourself in the foot somehow. It's VERY hard to find good people to marry these days so it's going to take a lot of searching and coming out of your comfort zone to find someone with the character who can sustan a marriage.
I had to meet literally hundreds of people to meet a handful of great guys that I could date. I had to go places I hadnt been before, introduce myself, and pray pray pray! It really is that hard to meet a marriage material person so if you arent willing to do what it takes it likely won't happen. They are the minority. and then you have to find one who you like AND who likes you back, is the right age etc etc.
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