Need some advice

[Aaliyah]

Hello. I know all you kind, lovely people would just LOVE to give me some advice. lol

Okay so there is this guy that I like and both of us want to hang out but he wants me to call him. My question is I just like don't know when I should call him or even like what to say we should do or whatever..or even what to SAY when I call him lol. I asked him what he wanted to do and he said it was up to me. I'll figure that part out but like I just do not know when to call him. Should I call him like the day I want to hang out or before that. Will he think I'm weird if I call him like way earlier or if he really likes me should it matter? I mean even if he did like me I don't want to scare him off. But I would feel weird if I just called him like that day and said hey lets hang out but then I would feel weird if I called him days before too. This is just weird to me because I usually don't call guys and plus I always get like this when I really like someone. Any thoughts/advice?

Am I being stupid?

 

[stephanieamber]

Yes you are haha jk.

Figure out what you should do. Get coffee? grab lunch? go for a walk? see a Christmas play? Figure that out, and then call him a few days before.

If you call him the day of, you run the risk of him already having plans and us girls are easily discouraged by that kind of stuff.

Though, I do think it's kind of sucky that you're doing the planning/calling. Shouldn't he be doing that???

 

[Crosscheck]

1.Come up with an activity you'd like to do. It can create an awkward converstation if you're trying to think of things to do on the spot.

2.Calling day of runs the risk of pre-existing plans, but you really don't want to plan something weeks in advance. So just call and say, hey I was thinking we'd have some coffee. What's your schedule like for the next few days?

Most importantly: relax. It's not a stressful thing, and making it into one is just going to take away from the fun.

 

[mochamajesty]

Hello. I know all you kind, lovely people would just LOVE to give me some advice. lol

Okay so there is this guy that I like and both of us want to hang out but he wants me to call him. My question is I just like don't know when I should call him or even like what to say we should do or whatever..or even what to SAY when I call him lol. I asked him what he wanted to do and he said it was up to me. I'll figure that part out but like I just do not know when to call him. Should I call him like the day I want to hang out or before that. Will he think I'm weird if I call him like way earlier or if he really likes me should it matter? I mean even if he did like me I don't want to scare him off. But I would feel weird if I just called him like that day and said hey lets hang out but then I would feel weird if I called him days before too. This is just weird to me because I usually don't call guys and plus I always get like this when I really like someone. Any thoughts/advice?

Am I being stupid?

The only thought that I have is: why is all of the responsibility on you? Can't he call you?

 

[Aaliyah]

Hmmm... I don't know. It's odd that I don't even seem to have a problem with it either. Because usually if there's something to have a problem about trust me I do. But it really doesn't seem to bother me. Other than the aforementioned problems lol.

Who knows I usually like sucky guys anyway so I'm sure this is no different. The only thing is that I can never see that they're sucky at first. I usually think they're awesome and then later realize they are far from it. I don't know how that happens because usually I like to think at least that I'm a pretty good judge of character. I don't know....I'm confused.

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

eh just call him a day or two before. And next time ask him to call you

as far as what to say, how about "hey, i'd like to go ______. Are you busy on ____day?" Maybe ask him how his week is going or something.

 

[Blank123]

think of something you two can do together and call him a few days before to make sure he's not busy the day you want to hang out.

Then I'd say tell him since you came up with something that its his turn to think of something and call you. put the ball back in his court and make him pursue you a little Its cool if both of you are coming up with stuff and calling each other but i'd wonder about a guy who never takes any initiative to do those things himself; he could be shy about it i guess so encouraging him to call you isn't a bad thing

 

[Marycita]

my first thought after reading this was "he should call her, not the other way around"

Maybe I'm old fashioned but hey...

 

[Oddish]

You are overthinking this

 

[Nom De Guerre]

I agree with Becky, you're over-thinking this; all you need to do is call him and see what's up, if he's busy then ask him when would be good to hangout. That is all.

kthxbai.

 

[deepgreen11]

The only thought that I have is: why is all of the responsibility on you? Can't he call you?

Agreed! plus he needs to maybe be a bit more intentional about planning. don't know about you ladies, but i like mutual planning, or a man on a mission with a plan.

 

[kevlite2020]

I've asked girls to call me before in the past, usually when they are really busy people in general and I worry about calling them at a bad time or something. So who knows why he's asking you to call him, it might be him nervous to call you at a bad time, or he might just be shy, or maybe he just needs to know that you are interested enough in him to call him before he'll really feel comfy pursuing you, or maybe plenty of other things. The bottom line though, if you are interested in him, give him a ring! You don't need to think more than that. Just call him whenever, and say, hey, I'd like to get together, let's do something. If there's something you like to do, don't be shy to suggest it, and don't be afraid to ask him what he likes to do and see if there's something he can come up with. But either way, don't be afraid to call him

 

[sister4mercy]

my first thought after reading this was "he should call her, not the other way around"

Maybe I'm old fashioned but hey...

I agree. I'm old fashioned too. It's also been my experience that when a man wants to talk..he picks up the phone and calls. If I call him,,he could be totally pre-occupied and the conversation ends up being lamesville.

 

[ba2sai]

its true... im a dude.. and i have a lot of pressure to call or msg the girl first! and once its done.. it feels like i've done a brave thing! hahaha.

 

[LoneSheep]

Text him with small talk, then if he doesn't suggest something, make the suggestion about hanging out. Someplace quiet but public. Movies/bars/clubs are bad for getting to know each other because you can't hear anything.

 

[Aaliyah]

Yeah umm I don't know about this anymore. The more I think about this the more I think it's a bad idea. Thank you for all of your advice though.

Calling him is not what seems like a bad idea but I've just been thinking about it and I think he seems like a player to me. And then all of you pointed out that why should I have to call him which is true. Kev made some good points too and for a minute I was like yeah! lol because that is what I was thinking too. But there are other things that makes me think this a bad idea too...sucks.

Ugh I don't know why I always fall for players! Like I really do because I was thinking hmm this situation seems familiar. Like I just like guys that are cool and do everything right but it's too good to be true because they always end up to be players. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just like normal people. Or why can't there be people that I like that aren't players. It seems like that is the only type of guy that I really like.