Need Help with Lust

[nicknack]

Hi, I am beginning to think I have a major problem and possibly addiction to lustful thoughts and acts. I really want to stop it. I just don't know how. I've tried internet self-help, telling people about it. Most recently, I even used my will power to stop porn and masturbation for about 2 weeks, but it all came to naught just last week. It's becoming very annoying. I pray to God at night all the time, asking for help and recovery, or at least a dream to show me that he really is that. Problem is, he doesn't. That is really frustrating, so I start thining I am like Job, where God seems to have abandoned him. I always convince myself that God is really there and I have the faith to believe in him. But in certain times, it doesn't seem to true.

I do not go to church nor read the Bible. I am afraid to attend church because of what false prophecy they might preach and their modernisation of the church. I am a 17 year old teen now, but I still hold traditional and conservative thoughts. However, I am just a teen with raging hormones. I swear, curse and commit sins all the time. I really wonder every day, what can I do to stop all this ********. It's really affecting me psychologically and spritually. I would really like to believe and receive salvation. I've been thinking about salvation for a very long time. That's what's keeping me sane for now. Please help. I am in a critical condition.

 

[janny108]

You can't be afraid to go to church. You need to feel cared for and part of a community of believers. We all at some time will struggle with something or other. People can give you strength. We can't overcome anything in our strength for very long; you've seen that.
Pls if you want, you can take a free 60 day course and get an accountability person that is familiar with your struggle. Look up settingcaptivesfree. Yes, prayer, talking to Jesus, and bible reading is great. Memorizing some verses is also a key. I put my bible next to bed as a reminder God is watching me.

Plus if you need to get rid of anything, then we need to do that. I've gotten rid of some cds that were hard to get rid of, cause I liked them! I've only had the course for 4 days and I can feel an improvement already, plus I like reading the testimonies of others, so THERE IS HOPE FOR US!!
Jan

 

[nicknack]

I have attended a few church sessions with friends, and I never really felt secure in any of the churches. Being there is freaky. I have also triedt he setting captives free course for 2 weeks before I got too lazy and gave up.
Now psychogicallly, I am getting adjusted, it feels less wrong nowadays. Hmmm..

 

[janny108]

Why did you give up on the course?
Jan

 

[janny108]

How do you think you are getting adjusted psychologically? Yes, the devil will ease up on this pressure on you if you decide the freedom is not worth fighting for.You will not be "alright" as long as you know you really want to stop doing __. The devil will tell you all kinds of "reasons" to continue; to justify it in your mind. But in my devotion from the course yesterday, lust will bring you lower and deeper in it as you continue to indulge in it and not try to resist it. You may find yourself despising God and hating yourself. Please reconsider taking the course. I'm sure you had a mentor, as I do and he cares about your freedom, but God cares even more.

As far as church goes; I have been around and around! I know it's important to find the right church home, and the key is not to quit and give up searching. It took me a few years to find one when I moved from NC to AZ and I've heard similiar stories from other people here. Ask God to show you and confirm yes or no when you visit them. I assume you are a Christian. We need regular bible instruction on a regular basis + the community and strength of other believers to grow and be strong. When we feel isolated, we are most vulnerable!! Ahthough you don't have to tell too many people, it helped me to confide my struggle where I felt safe to do so. You've done that here, and I'm sure God commends you for taking the brave step to bring this into the light.
Praying for you.
Jan

 

[nicknack]

I gave up on the course partly because of privacy problems, laziness and it didn't seem to inspire me at all. I stopped for about 2 weeks, everything. Then I fell back into the same phase again, it is very annoying. I feel very helpless not being able to have the will power to even stop. At first it feels good and all, after that the guilt keeps in, like a cycle.

Yes, I heard the devil, I know what he is telling me. My mind is giving me all sorts of reasons to continue, to do it. The churches here are too objective, going to church seems to be more of a status for young teenagers nowadays. I am serious about going back to church, in fact I always wanted to be able to study Theology. It is hard here because well, there's no future in theology here at all. God does not even answer my prayers, I pray hard at night, hoping for a hint or an answer, just a slightest hint will do. But nothing.

 

[justreading]

Dude get off your butt and start doing something about your lust/lack of Christian interaction. Outside of the church you will sin sin and sin some more until you finally give in and take a chance on the church and ultimately the people in the church. You can't get anywhere by yourself. You're 17 and hormones are totally normal and I really don't see how you can't touch b/c I was there and understand. I don't have a problem with kids materbating when they are young b/c they've got so many hormones going through them it is a release for them. I really don't have a solid opinon on touching yourself but for you it sounds like it's causing you a lot of trouble inside?

I replied to your thread b/c you aren't doing anything about your situation and I wanted you to know that it's not ok to say "this is hard" and do nothing about it. I feel weird in churches too but after I turned 28 I realized I COULD NOT be a Christian on my own (and neither can you). By the way I became a Christian in 8th grade and always had a church home until the years of 24-28. Left by themselves people will pervert the faith to fit their lifestyle all the time b/c they need to have constant instruction and a group of fellow believers to help them in through this crazy world.

Put your mind to something and do it or you will sit around and talk about how "bad" you feel about "not doing the right thing" but that's about it. Be proactive and do it!

 

[janny108]

It IS hard to stop any kind of sexual immorality, regardless of what kind it is. Cause it's so easy to sort of dismiss something, because "we don't do THAT".
But it all falls under the same umbrella. I think part of your struggle is you don't yet know Jesus as your personal lord and savior. Ask Him to come into your life and submit to His will. He wants you free more than you do! Jesus died so you could LIVE; it's not about keeping rules and regulations in church. The people there are human,and it's important what KIND of church you are attending. I personally believe in a spirit filled church where I can sense the spirit of God. There is no condemnation there; when we sin, we already feel condemned.

Romans 10:9,10 says if we confess the Lord Jesus and believe God raised Him from the dead (3 days and 3 nights He was in the ground), we will be saved.
We are ALL born with a sin nature and can't HELP but sin, no matter what we seem on the outside to others. Once we are saved, we now have an advocate, friend, helper in time of need! You are not in this by yourself! The devil lies to people, thinking no one has it as bad as they do, but...

1 Corinthians 10:13 says: No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful, he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

Invite Jesus into your heart and life and confess to Him (He knows already; He knows every thought we have) that you are having difficulty removing this sin from your life. Invite His holy assistance, and you stand a much better chance to be an overcomer in this matter.

Let us know how you are doing, OK?
Jan

 

[nicknack]

It is encouraging to read replies. Yes, I am very uncomfortable with lust, even more with love. I daren't take up another relationship as it all ends with doubts and regrets. I've been thinking about going to church for a long long time. I've talked with friends about their churches and contemplated but never got my butt moving. Just thinking about church and the people there kind of sets a mind barrier. I told my dad I wanted to attend a traditional church, instead he chided me as if I had an evil purpose. From then I did not dare ask anymore.

Lust really bothers me alot, the guilt and reading about the ill effects of pornography. Using will power is really hard, I've tried. It ends up with me lying in bed in temptation until I fall asleep every night. I've tried praying to the lord and seeking answers in Corinthians, but nothing really appeared to me as an answer either.

 

[VivDaGurl]

I do not go to church nor read the Bible.

Becoming a Christian, you can never be alone as the battle is out there in the spiritual world. You have to fellowship among the Christians and attending church can help you a lot too. Why do you not read the Bible? The Bible which is the Word Of God is also an Armour God had prepared for us to fight in the spiritual war.

I am afraid to attend church because of what false prophecy they might preach and their modernisation of the church.

Who are we to judge whether the church is preaching the correct things or not? Of course, it's very important to know and be sure of the church you are attending because if you are not attending the church with correct teaching, it'll take you to somewhere real far away from the Lord. This is when the Word Of God plays an important role whereby when you are familiar with His Word, you can always compare the teaching in the church with the Bible. Should the teaching at church doesn't work hand-in-hand, leave, attend another church until you find the correct church. Sure enough, you can't do all these alone because no one can but you have to do it with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. You ask the Holy Spirit to teach you with His Word and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you to the church that you should be attending so that you can be in the correct community.

Lust really bothers me alot, the guilt and reading about the ill effects of pornography. Using will power is really hard, I've tried. It ends up with me lying in bed in temptation until I fall asleep every night. I've tried praying to the lord and seeking answers in Corinthians, but nothing really appeared to me as an answer either.

Lust is not something that easy to be dealt with because we are human beings with sexual feelings in us. Our eyes can be very deceiving but, the co-orperation between you and God is very important. Temptation is everywhere, nicknack and everybody faces temptation inclusive Jesus, Himself. Read the Gospels (book of John, Mark, Matthew and Luke) in the Bible and you'll find Him facing the tempation. Read and find out how He deal with the situation.

Find out what normally arouses your temptation and do not go near them. Be far away from them...the Lord had state that if we ask, He shall give it to us. He never likes to see us fall away and be in our sins. That's why He had sent His Son to save us. I will be along side with you that the Lord will guide you. Seek Him with your whole heart and learn to listen to Him as He speaks to you. First of all, read the Bible daily and look for a church to attend.

 

[janny108]

Yes it's important to know what the triggers are and it can be different for every person.
Jan

 

[Writer before God]

...I touch daily but i hate doing it i fell nothing out of it i to fall asleep with temptation i read all the fourms and stuff but it is just so hard to keep up with my life and include Christ. I have accepted Jesus Christ as my savior , and i lived in him until the 7th grade aobut october (btw i am in 8th) then i masterbated for the first time and i started to fall away from Christ Jesus.I dont no wat to do .. I jsut went to a church camp and i got tons of sutff from it but there wasnt realy the real God there .. I got to multiplue churches even.. it is just hard for me being in the 8th grade and all...

 

[Everglaze]

Okay, I've been there before nicknack...with the raging hormones and lusting in my mind after a girl or something.

What you need to do is, read the Bible. If you don't read the Bible, then you won't know what is expected of you.

"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." - 1 Corinthians 6:18

"“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” - Matthew 26:41

The Bible is the Word of God...it speaks to you and gives you the instructions of Holy living.

"It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live selfcontrolled, upright and godly lives in this present age" - Titus 2:12

"Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be selfcontrolled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed." - 1 Peter 1:13

"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." - Matthew 5:28-30

Learn to control yourself and your body, keep clear-minded. It's hard but that's why you need to begin somewhere by disciplining yourself. Interaction with fellow believers is important because you need the accountability. In fact, all social interactions with believers is healthy for you. It keeps your mind occupied on things OTHER than lust and sex.

If you're on the computer and you have the urge to watch porn, stop yourself and remember that passage in Matthew 5. You are committing adultery in your heart if you look upon women with lust. Put that fear into your heart that what you're doing is upsetting/angering God. That's not all though, the more you look, the more it becomes a habit/addiction. We all know that addictions are NOT healthy, logically speaking. So if you cannot control yourself, get yourself outside and go for a walk or get involved with sports. Get involved with anything that can keep your mind off pornography and stuff like that. Don't go on the computer unless you have to do something like a school assignment, project, research, etc. You also need to read the Bible and pray as often as you can.

It won't go away if you're not willing to stop. You also need to feel convicted for your actions, that what you did was wrong. You need to feel penitence so that you can repent and turn away from that deceiving sin.

At your age, the teenage hormones thing is natural and it's much more difficult then. However, you can't keep feeding into that or it could effect you even more when you're older and cause all sorts of problems. It also hurts people. Porn basically turns people into perverts. Tell yourself that it's evil and whenever you get the temptation, flee from it, resist it by quickly avoiding the computer or whatever you're about to do. Just go to the kitchen and get an orange juice to drink or walk outside and get some fresh air, chew some gum...do anything that can keep your mind off until you can settle down again. Following Jesus means that you have not only accepted him as Savior but as LORD also. He's your LORD so know that what he commands, you follow them.

"Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature." - Romans 13:14

It's much harder for us males, I can understand that. We all need work in this area, not just you. Some are more advanced in this struggle than we are, but you have to start trying somewhere.

 

[janny108]

Who are we to judge whether the church is preaching the correct things or not?


Oh by reading, praying and studying the bible we can know and discern whether a church of some teacher is telling the truth.1 Thessalonians 5 tells us to "prove all things, hold fast to that which is good."earned this the hard way. There is a record in Acts how the people studied the word after they'd heard a teaching to see if it was correct. I personally would not be in a church where I did not know for sure if things said were right or not. When I bought my study bible that helped SO MUCH! I would encourage people to buy one if they have not done so.

Jan

Jan

 

[janny108]

I believe although you can discern truth, that it could be PROBLEM finding the right church! Man, we had a hard time!! So I can relate...

Jan

 

[Vilnius]

A lot of guys have gotten inspiration in their fight against lust from "Every Young Man's Battle." You might also read "Not Even a Hint." Lust is VERY difficult to deal with, I needed all the biblical books I could get my hands on to re-educate myself on the true sinfulness of lustfull activity after being mired in it for years. Find a church or fellowship group that offers accountabilty, and like always, pray like crazy. If you want to read a great book on male sexuality and how lust/masturbation in the teen years warps your sexuality, read "The Sexual Man." That should also help inspire you to get your lust under control.

Praise God!

 

[janny108]

I'd like to say, apart from knowing Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you will pretty much be powerless to stop doing this. No amount of determination or self will is going to be effective for the long haul. I encourage you to get saved, give up running your own life, and trust Jesus to help you make the decisions you need to make. I encourage you to re take the course. You will see it in a brand new light!

Jan

 

[OttawaUk]

Hey buddy, you can do it. Its not easy, but once you start to live your life for Jesus and leave masturbation and porn behind, you'll find that you get more satisfaction out of your new walk with Him than you ever had with porn. Porn is satisfaction for a few minutes, then it leaves you with an empty feeling. Once you break free from that, and start to walk with Christ, you realize His love is forever, not just 5 minutes of lust, but forever!

Hang in there, try the setting captives free program again, and you can do it.

Just the fact that you're trying tells me you're on the right track. You'll make it, just have Faith.

God Bless you friend.

 

[OttawaUk]

Hang in there buddy. Its not easy at first, but once you start to walk with Christ, you begin to realize how unsatisfactory porn and masturbation is.

I would give Setting Captives Free another chance, its very good.

Just the fact that you're trying means you're on the right track, but there's nothing wrong with trying more than once. Jesus will forgive you, always.

Once you take the walk of repentence, you'll understand what I mean.

God Bless, and hang in there.

 

[considering]

Hi, I am beginning to think I have a major problem and possibly addiction to lustful thoughts and acts. I really want to stop it. I just don't know how. I've tried internet self-help, telling people about it. Most recently, I even used my will power to stop porn and masturbation for about 2 weeks, but it all came to naught just last week. It's becoming very annoying. I pray to God at night all the time, asking for help and recovery, or at least a dream to show me that he really is that. Problem is, he doesn't. That is really frustrating, so I start thining I am like Job, where God seems to have abandoned him. I always convince myself that God is really there and I have the faith to believe in him. But in certain times, it doesn't seem to true.

Sexual urges are natural and they are caused by forces that are not under your control. Sex is wired into the brain and the body, and no amount of prayer or willpower or any other tactic is going to make those chemicals go away. God isn't going to come down and change your haircolor. Similarly, why would he stop the chemical flow? He doesn't work that way. You just have to move beyond this stage of thinking masturbation is evil. It isn't.

I do not go to church nor read the Bible. I am afraid to attend church because of what false prophecy they might preach and their modernisation of the church. I am a 17 year old teen now, but I still hold traditional and conservative thoughts. However, I am just a teen with raging hormones. I swear, curse and commit sins all the time. I really wonder every day, what can I do to stop all this ********. It's really affecting me psychologically and spritually. I would really like to believe and receive salvation. I've been thinking about salvation for a very long time. That's what's keeping me sane for now. Please help. I am in a critical condition.

No amount of preaching will make those chemicals in the body stop, and so those sexual urges will keep coming. You have to learn to accept that your sexual needs are natural and not evil. God made us sexual beings. If you keep fighting your sexual urges, you will continue to go insane. It's your choice. Accept it or keep fighting in vain.