Need Help With Biting

[suzybeezy]

My four year old is a biter. He just won't stop. He bites everyone and everything. I need some advise on how to get him to stop. He has a younger brother (3) that he continues to bite and he has even taken to biting his dad. He has put chew marks in the arm of a brand new chair. All of these things happen when I am not around and I feel helpless. He does not do it when I am there. He does get put in time out and we talked to him about how biting hurts people. I am hoping some of you have some advise.

 

[lucypevensie]

Even though he does not do it when you are not there I think you should still let him have the same consequenses (more severe even) as if you were there. I don't think a time-out is severe enough. He knows it hurts people. The payoff for biting should be very negative, and he's proably thinking that a few minutes in time-out is worth the satisfaction he feels when he takes a chomp on someone. I don't know how you feel about spanking but I'd spank my kids for biting.

 

[HeatherJay]

Well, I'd agree with Lucy...I'd spank my kids, too, for biting. But, if that doesn't work on your child, or if you don't believe in spanking, then I thought Dr. Phil gave some good advice about it on his show a few weeks back...

here's the link and I copied and pasted below : http://www.drphil.com/advice/advice.jhtml?contentId=par_raising_dillemas.xml&section=Parenting&subsection=Raising%20Kids

Biting
Miren and Scot's 19-month-old son is going through a biting phase. How can they stop the behavior before someone gets hurt?


<LI>Remember to use age-appropriate discipline techniques. If time-outs don't work on your child, it may be that he's too young.
<LI>Be aware of your reaction to being bitten. It's a powerful reward for a child to know he's gotten mom and dad's immediate attention.
<LI>Kids explore with their mouths; it's a communication tool and it can be effective for them.
<LI>The first step is response stopping. When you see the child getting frustrated, opening his mouth and preparing to bite, you have to immediately get his attention and stop him. That means eye contact and saying with authority, "No biting."
<LI>After response stopping, you want to redirect. Physically move your child to something else, to distract him from whatever was making him want to bite. When you disrupt the sequence, then he's out of the impulse.
<LI>Communicate for your child. Tell him what you know he wants, so he knows you understand. "You're mad because you want that toy. You want that toy, don't you?" Don't give him what he wants, but telling him what he wants makes him feel he's understood.
Never bite your child back. You may suppress the behavior instantly, but it's confusing to him and the child may have a bad reaction to that later.


Good luck!

 

[Katydid]

You know, I honestly believe an honest reaction is best, it worked well for mine. It started with my 7 year old, when he was two, he bit me while I was holding him and well, I actually accidentally dropped him on the floor. He was crying and I just looked at him and said "YOU BIT ME???" and I didn't pick him up. It was my natural reaction. He didn't bite me again.

My second child when he was 18 months bit me and I smacked his face, not intentionally, but when pain strikes you react. He also never did it again.

NOW ONTO MY DAUGHTER!!!! Talk about sounding exactly like your child. She will wait till I leave the room and then bite her brothers. WELL, finally after so many attempts to make her understand, stern NO's and distraction and stopping her before she actually bit, and she honestly WAITS UNTIL I LEAVE THE ROOM!! She won't do it in front of me. FINALLY, I had to tell my sons not to NOT REACT. I had to give them permission to protect themselves (she drew blood on my 3 yr. old). I was scared at first that they would abuse this, but in all honesty after being bitten by her soooo many times, they decided it wouldn't be good to turn it into a biting contest so they chose to just swat her face. She hasn't bitten in 2 weeks(by the way she is only 16 months old and toooooo smart for her age).

Now, if I had a four year old doing this, then it is a bit different than the ages mine went through it at, but about the bite marks on the chair. Tell him that that means he spit on it, and spit is dirty, so guess what, he gets to clean it. Make him scrub the chair. That is what I would do for that. As far as biting his younger brother, if you don't believe in spanking, then we do something called, "the chair". At his age 20 to 30 seconds would be long enough to make a point. He stands against the wall, and then slides his back down the wall until his body is in a seated position, the catch being there is no actual chair. It doesn't take long for the legs to start hurting a bit, but it is a good deterrant.

 

[Melbelle]

My four year old is a biter. He just won't stop. He bites everyone and everything. I need some advise on how to get him to stop. He has a younger brother (3) that he continues to bite and he has even taken to biting his dad. He has put chew marks in the arm of a brand new chair. All of these things happen when I am not around and I feel helpless. He does not do it when I am there. He does get put in time out and we talked to him about how biting hurts people. I am hoping some of you have some advise.

I know people are probley gonna thing this is cruel and mean what ever but it works, My neice bit me 1time and has never bit another person since then either. Tell your husband or who ever is taking care of him when he does this to bite him back, if he leaves teeth marks you leave teeth marks, show him that it hurts, it will break him of doing it. They do not understand "It hurts" Until he is shown what you are talking about and if he has never been bittin he dosn't know. I know I know Oh my I'm a cruel person but I bet my son will only bite me one time.

 

[andiesmama]

Andie bit me twice...after the second time, I told her if she feels like biting, she should bite herself! So she did, and she hasn't tried it ever again!! (guess she didn't like how it felt!).....I'm too much of a chicken, I don't think I could bite her...I need to take lessons from Melissa!! hehe