I do agree that my daughter is very high among my concerns. I'd like to find a job that I can work only while she's in school. It's just jobs are hard to find, and that's probably when EVERYone wants to work. She's amazingly resilient, I will say that. She actually speaks well of her experiences because she likes who she is, and figures she has learned from them. She has a better attitude about it than I am able to. I still have to keep a rein on my emotions to prevent bitterness.
Speaking of my daughter, she was told many lies about me while her dad had her away. When I finally got to speak to her again, it was a VERY strained situation. Truthfully, I wasn't sure we'd be able to rebuild a relationship. But we have. Honesty with each other has been key. Still, I am balancing all these household relationships along with the fact that the current situation is probably eroding her respect for me for "allowing" it to happen.
One thing I do want to correct. I said earlier that I disagreed with Anessa because I thought anyone could change. That implies agreement otherwise. I need to stand up and say that I do not agree with her assessment of my husband. I'm not being critical of those who see him so, because you are necessarily only seeing part of the situation. There is always so much more to tell. But I will not agree with him being called an immature passive-aggressive man child.
He works and supports the family. His father passed away in his early adulthood, leaving a large family. He supported his mother and siblings until we married, then passed the responsibility to his younger brother. He works hard around the house to repair things and do whatever needs doing. He usually cleans up after himself. He does his own laundry (which honestly I find weird, but he's set in his ways). He is meticulous in making sure every little detail gets taken care of - bills paid, garbage taken out, etc. He sacrificed and moved the family for the sake of myself and my daughter when it wasn't what he wanted.
I think he honestly doesn't have the tools / skills to know what to do. So as I said, when he gets frustrated, he tries this and that. And I obviously don't really have the skills either, or I wouldn't need to be told some of the things you all have been kind and generous enough to point out to me.
Yes, there are some other issues as well, such as him being jealous of my daughter. There is a bit more to that that I don't want to go into, but the fault does not lie with either of them (or me).
Also, there may be cultural issues. His family escaped to this country (US) when he was a small child, but he grew up pretty much isolated with those of his own culture.
Keep sharing more and more here, but I realized it's not fair to him to make it seem as if I agree with the recent assessments of him.
I do thank you all for your input. As I said, I've contacted a number of people for help, just have not heard back from anyone able to help yet.
