Need advice...

[guy481758]

Hey everyone, I'm new to this forum... I have this problem but donno how to solve it... technically I know I should give this to God, but it isn't ez becasue I'm human... anywayz here it goes...

I sort of like this Girl at my chruch and a lot of brothers and sisters thought we were gonna court together. We were really close until one time she yelled at me infront of a lot of people at church. I Know she was disappointed at me becasue I didn't do my part in Church as I was suppose to do. But after that day i called her and I said sorry and I know I should do better and she didn't say anything. I aslo asked if she was ok cause she was kinda tired that other day but she thought I was annoying and told me so in a really disrupted tone of voice. Right now we havn't talked for over 2 weeks. We see each other but don't talk. I'm scared to lose her as a friend and even though I like her, I seriously care about her as a friend. I'm a little ticked off cause shes giving me this attitude but mayb I'm over thinking about it... but she would joke with other people except me. Is there anything I did wrong? I recently did more devotion than before and prayed to GOd to help me to change becasue of him and that I'm serving him not becasue of her but becasue I'm working for the Lord. The problem is, how should I rebuild this Friendship with her? Should I call her and ask her what I did wrong? I left everything to God but y isn't there any answers? People at church told me to leave it to God and rebuild me relationship with God first and everything will fall into place. I am trying my best to do my best for God and glorify his name daily. Even though I'm doing what I'm suppose to do it doesn't seem like its working and we don't seem to get any better. I'm scared that shes really mad at me... but what did I do? and what should I do now? any suggestions?

 

[Conservative Mennonite]

Dating 101: Talk to her about it. Go to her, and ask if you can talk, and then express what's on your mind, and apologize. And actually listen to what she has to say. And then apologize again. Don't matter what it's for, apologize. Don't make excuses, apologize.

You asked if you should 'ask her what you did wrong,' but in the beginning of your post, you acknowledge that you did something wrong. So just apologize. And talk about it.

 

[guy481758]

THanks for your advice but what if she doesn't wanna talk? thats also another thing I fear... like u open for conversation and she doesn't talk then theres no point in talking or solving this rite? haha I just thought of this while I was reading your reply...

 

[Conservative Mennonite]

If she don't wanna talk, chalk it up as a life lesson and move on. Don't never let a girl get you down dude. Just keep doing what you do, and let God handle the rest. If it's meant to be, it'll all work out. If she don't wanna talk, look at yourself in the mirror, smile, and say "It's her loss, 'cause I'm a great catch." I personally, look in the mirror every morning, and the very first thing that comes to mind is "Man, I'm good looking." But that's just me. I'm a little cocky that way.

 

[VivDaGurl]

Hey everyone, I'm new to this forum

Hello guy481758...welcome to CF.

I sort of like this Girl at my chruch and a lot of brothers and sisters thought we were gonna court together. We were really close until one time she yelled at me infront of a lot of people at church. I Know she was disappointed at me becasue I didn't do my part in Church as I was suppose to do. But after that day i called her and I said sorry and I know I should do better and she didn't say anything. I aslo asked if she was ok cause she was kinda tired that other day but she thought I was annoying and told me so in a really disrupted tone of voice. Right now we havn't talked for over 2 weeks. We see each other but don't talk. I'm scared to lose her as a friend and even though I like her, I seriously care about her as a friend. I'm a little ticked off cause shes giving me this attitude but mayb I'm over thinking about it... but she would joke with other people except me. Is there anything I did wrong? I recently did more devotion than before and prayed to GOd to help me to change becasue of him and that I'm serving him not becasue of her but becasue I'm working for the Lord. The problem is, how should I rebuild this Friendship with her? Should I call her and ask her what I did wrong? I left everything to God but y isn't there any answers? People at church told me to leave it to God and rebuild me relationship with God first and everything will fall into place. I am trying my best to do my best for God and glorify his name daily. Even though I'm doing what I'm suppose to do it doesn't seem like its working and we don't seem to get any better. I'm scared that shes really mad at me... but what did I do? and what should I do now? any suggestions?

I understand how annoyed it could be to have anybody to yell at us in front of everybody and no matter who that person is, it is still not right. Still, what is past is past and there's no point for you to go back there to start to think over it again. Perhaps, she's also annoyed with you over something that you did and without realizing it, you've annoyed her, I don't know because you didn't mention that.

I would suggest you to pray to ask God to guide you and then, call her up and invite her for a cup of coffee or something like that. Talk to her and tell her how you felt when she yelled at you in front of her and tell her that you are sorry that it happened. Tell her that if you've done something that made her angry, apologize to her. Start kicking off from there....to maintain your friendship with her.

Hope this helps....

Will be for you.

 

[VivDaGurl]

THanks for your advice but what if she doesn't wanna talk? thats also another thing I fear... like u open for conversation and she doesn't talk then theres no point in talking or solving this rite? haha I just thought of this while I was reading your reply...

Pray before you call her to talk to her. Let it not bother you and ask God to intervene into this situation. Even if you call her up and start talking to her and she doesn't give you any response, well, you've done your part.

 

[guy481758]

True say.. thanks... one last question... I said sorry before hand and shes still like disappointed... can a girl be this disappointed in a guy if they are just friends?

 

[revelations12_12]

*revelations takes off the kid gloves

she sounds like a real upity... never mind, man if you chase after her apologizing she is going to think that is even more annoying. If she cannot forgive you after you apologized then she is just wrong and not a very good christain. I know this is not what you want to hear but you have a right to be mad at her, I am not saying be mad at her but you should just realize that she is not a very nice or good person right now.

When you are in the right don't go apologizing man trust me that will get you no where. If you really want to get her attention back treat her like she doesn't exist and let her come to you asking what your problem is. Then when she asks tell her hey I am a good person and I forgive people I think you need to go take a long look in the mirror sister if you have to come to me asking what is wrong.

I know it sounds harse but man that will be the only chance of getting her back. In the long run she will respect you for standing up for yourself.

 

[revelations12_12]

notice she jokes around with everyone but you, and feigns having a great time excluding you... How does that make you feel? she is driving you crazy. You have never wanted her more.

That works both ways, joke with every one, have some people over to your house for a get together and don't invite her, etc etc etc.

 

[VivDaGurl]

True say.. thanks... one last question... I said sorry before hand and shes still like disappointed... can a girl be this disappointed in a guy if they are just friends?

Tough question to answer.....It'll be pretty disappointing to hear the guy's taking a girl as a friend when the guy once showed interest in her before or the girl herself is interested in him. Just give it some time to cool off and see how things go by. Pray....

 

[Goldfinger]

Are you that big of a [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] to put up with someone that will abruptly yell at you in front of a group of people then call you annoying after you apologized? It seems like she left a big hole in your heart because you seem to be obsessively dwelling on her. Well stop dwelling on her because it's just exacerbating the problem and the pain. Let god guide you into something new as you’ve done all you could do and she isn’t going to come around for a while if ever.



BTW, please use spellcheck.


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[soda]

can a girl be this disappointed in a guy if they are just friends?

yes! she can! that's how women (some of us) work! doesn't matter if she likes you as a friend or even more.

the advice to make each other jealous by hanging out with other people is not really a good way. first of all, she might not even notice, and second, it's not fair for all the other people! and it's just not honest!

first pray that god may guide you in your intensions. then, you should go to her and ask her to talk (not when lots of people are around). you should apologize, and then you should tell her that it was not nice of her yelling at you in front of other people and that since then, there is something between the two of you that you don't understand. ask her to explain her behaviour (that you noticed). be honest, tell her that you don't want to loose her as your friend.

that's my 2 cents.

 

[JPPT1974]

yes! she can! that's how women (some of us) work! doesn't matter if she likes you as a friend or even more.

the advice to make each other jealous by hanging out with other people is not really a good way. first of all, she might not even notice, and second, it's not fair for all the other people! and it's just not honest!

first pray that god may guide you in your intensions. then, you should go to her and ask her to talk (not when lots of people are around). you should apologize, and then you should tell her that it was not nice of her yelling at you in front of other people and that since then, there is something between the two of you that you don't understand. ask her to explain her behaviour (that you noticed). be honest, tell her that you don't want to loose her as your friend.

that's my 2 cents.

Pray that you won't compromise the Lord's intentions for you and that you should apologize and ask the Lord to give you the right words. Admit that you were wrong and that your behavior was inappropriate and hopes that she can find it in her heart to forgive you.

 

[guy481758]

Yea thanks guys... I know what to do rite now... I'm just gonna leave it to God... I'm not gonna play the ignoring game with her cuz its stupid and no point... in the end both will be mad at each other... I'm just gonna talk to her but mayb after exams... so for now pray and ask God to calm me down and listen to his advice....

 

[guy481758]

Hey guys thanks for the help

I prayed about it and she called me and talked... I told her that I've been kinda down cuz ur mad at me but now everything is cool... she said sorry and we are ok now.. I guess God does answer prayers LOL

 

[renaistre]

Hey guys thanks for the help

I prayed about it and she called me and talked... I told her that I've been kinda down cuz ur mad at me but now everything is cool... she said sorry and we are ok now.. I guess God does answer prayers LOL

He does indeed.

 

[JPPT1974]

Yea thanks guys... I know what to do rite now... I'm just gonna leave it to God... I'm not gonna play the ignoring game with her cuz its stupid and no point... in the end both will be mad at each other... I'm just gonna talk to her but mayb after exams... so for now pray and ask God to calm me down and listen to his advice....

Just take it easy and pray to the Lord to give you the words to say and what to do!!