Need advice.

[RaydonRaven]

How on earth can I tell that the driving force behind what I'm feeling for this girl (who will remain anonymous right now) is from God and doesn't stem from my own desperate longing for companionship?

 

[lunalinda]

Oyyy that's tricky. Sometimes we can make ourselves believe that it's God talking because we get so lost in our own emotions and we think, "This must be God, because if it isn't, then why won't this feeling go away?" Unfortunately, I don't have any advice to give, (sigh), seeing as how I can go through the same feelings myself. All I can say is, from my own personal perspective, the more desperate I am, then the more willing I am to believe anything (which isn't at all good), so that forces me to conclude that desperation = gotta be even MORE cautious. And it's TOUGH. But when desperate times call for desperate measures, then those measures can even mean declaring that God is really behind it all even if he's not. It's so not fair, I know. But we shall all persevere. God bless ya, and I hope it'll pan out well.

 

[the_man]

How on earth can I tell that the driving force behind what I'm feeling for this girl (who will remain anonymous right now) is from God and doesn't stem from my own desperate longing for companionship?

One thing that would be helpful is to not make it anonymous to a mentor, your parents, your pastor...someone. If it is only you know that knows it, it is much harder to discern whether it is of you or of God.

The other thing is to test your feelings for her against the word. That is, if this is infactuation, then obviously the force you feel is infactuation. How do you know it is infactuation? Well in my experience, infactuation usually comes when I know very little about the woman my infactuation is directed at. How well do you know this girl? Along with testing it against the word, is she a believer? is that evidenced by her fruit? are you at relatively similar spiritual stages? (i.e. equally yoked). etc etc.

How is your walk with God lately? Are you in the word? how is your prayer life? Have you commited this to the Lord? There are a lot of ways of discerning whether it is from God or it is of our own volition.

 

[RaydonRaven]

Well, first off thank you both. I have convinced myself in the past that "it must be God", which is one of the biggest reasons I asked my question. I know where that leads, and it's NOT fun. I can't really share this with a mentor, because I don't have one. I never have. Although, I have shared this with a few of my closest friends. She is a believer, we're at the same spiritual stage, we both have the exact same belief set, the same view of the world (and of Christianity for that matter). I have been infatuated with a girl before (it ended pretty badly), but this just feels.......different. I don't know how to explain it. I have not been in the word very much of late (I wouldn't have any idea where to look for stuff like this though), I have been praying a LOT about this and a few other issues I'm dealing with right now, and yes I have given this up to the Lord.

 

[wolfiswill]

I'm glad you brought this up because it raises a lot of good points. Infactuation will fade away in time. Ask yourself "Does this person draw me closer to God"? Give it time. Someone once told me that when it comes to relationships time is on your side.

 

[Fatolia]

Man I know totally how you feel. I used to get infatuated with girls who just looked hot to me, but anymore, it's after getting to know a person and seeing the joy, the love, the security, and the passion a person has in Jesus that lights me on fire. It's still infatuation though, and it's so important to be careful. I've spent many hours on my knees because of the feelings I get from girls...maybe you'll have to do the same thing.

I can't give you a solution, but I can tell you one thing, if you give this to Jesus in prayer, he will completely shift your whole situation around. That's what he did for me! I have suffered from unbearable, obsessive crushes all my young adult life, but I'm finally being released from that bondage. It's allowing me to really see into a woman's life, and to look through God's eyes.

I think to answer your question, infatuation stems from a little bit of both. God wired you to be attracted to women. But your actions that come from that desire, the selfish, ambitious motives might be from desperation. But if you can tell yourself, "I don't really need this woman, I need Jesus, and so does she," if you can step back and look at the situation through God's eyes, then you'll be able to know what God really wants in this situation.

And at the same time, you'll be able to look past superficiality and see a woman's genuine beauty!

 

[RaydonRaven]

Man, I'm getting more really good advice than I ever thought I would. Thanks to all, you're helping more than you could know right now. I've decided to just put it out of my mind right now, leave it up to God to make things clear, and concentrate on other things.

 

[Fatolia]

Man, I'm getting more really good advice than I ever thought I would. Thanks to all, you're helping more than you could know right now. I've decided to just put it out of my mind right now, leave it up to God to make things clear, and concentrate on other things.

Excellent!