Need advice concerning interracial relationship

[peacefuldove]

My boyfriend and I are both Christians. I'm white and he's black and sometimes we clash over cultural issues. Its a struggle to combine both of our cultures together sometimes and I was wondering if anyone had any advice.

 

[Yitzchak]

My advice is don't try to assume that you know how he is feeling. He is an individual and there are other factors besides culture and race which define who we are. At the same time, be sensitive to areas that he deems as important concerning culture and race. In other owrds let him define what being black means to him and how that effects things.

All people regardless of culture wnat to be loved and to have someone to love. Sometimes you may not agree or understand but can say "nevertheless" it is our love which holds us together.

 

[Heidilein]

My boyfriend is Austrian while I am American and I've realized that some things just can't be fought about. Culture is a part of us, it's part of identity. I have to accept those things about him that are so different from me. Another bit of advice: stop comparing his culture to yours. It's futile, tends to take on a 'my culture is better' tone and won't get you far. Instead, try to see his culture from the 'inside'. Ask questions, participate, learn what it's about, why he does certain things, thinks certain ways, instead of always looking from the outside in.

I know it can be challenging at times. Good luck!

Heidi

 

[Pastor_Benjamin]

A relationship is a partnership you and your boyfriend need to realize first of all there are differences. You need to pray about the issues that hurt you both. The world has lots of bigots some white some black doesn’t matter a bigot is a bigot. Love each other come to common ground on your differences and pray-together most of all.

When God is the head of your relationship how can it fail?

 

[koppee1]

Don't forget that it may also be God showing you that your relationship with each other is not...optimal. Maybe God has someone else for each of you. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against interracial relationships... and if you are happy together, then by all means, pursue your relationship. But if you can't get over your differences, then that isn't a good sign. A bad marriage is worse than no marriage. Hope everything works out for you.

 

[GinooKo]

I think accepting and respect each other's culture and identity is imperative to interracial marriage. My husband is caucasian and I'm from the Philippines. There is a big difference in our culture we may disagree in some things especially when it comes to raising our children but most of it are really trivial. Things that I don't appreciate and I don't like, I let him know and vice versa. In other words, communications is a very important in our family.

He's never been to the Philippines and whenever we socialize with other filipinos, I always give him the heads up on what to expect.

My advice is don't let other people influence how you feel about each other. If you love each otehr, be willing to accept each other differences. Learn about each other culture, have an open communications and most importantly, do it with love.

I hope things will work out for you and you will be in our prayers.

God Bless you

 

[JVD]

There isn't any moral problem with interracial marriage but there are definite cultural issues. I was at one time almost engaged to a christian girl who was American Indian. It became obvious that we were very different in our approach to life.

We decided not to get married and it was probably wise.

You need to remember that if you commit to marriage you are also marrying each others families and each others cultures. You need to accept that difference, learn to understand it and not fight it. It is a two way street...you each need to learn to accept the other as being different and not necessarily wrong. However, you also need to try to learn from each other. Just because the cultures are different does not mean that both cultures are necessarily right.

My daughter's best friend is from an interracial family. Her mother is black and father is white. She seems to have basically left her culture in many ways. We live in a rural environment and there are not many african-american people here. Not enough for a church. It seems to me that this would be hard...for one spouse to basically leave their culture behind and spend the rest of your life in another culture.

 

[pelham]

My elder daughter is undertaking such a relationship. She is black and he is Canadian causian. He is a very sweet person and so is she. I fear that they, dispite their own sweet personalities, will suffer greatly for their choices. They are both home bodies and that part is great. His friends discourage the relationship in private and hers do the same. When they ask what they should do. I say consider what it is worth to you. Is it going to cause the two of you more pain than your willing to bare. Count up the cost and chose.

Black and White people have fought, murdered, slandered and envied each other since our wonderful country began. I salute those that have the courage to undertake such a challenge. Same race relationships are hard enough. I would pray and asked for guidance. Be willing to do whatever the Lord says if you really want his guidance.

I know mixed couples that struggle to find things that they can do together without offending friends and family. I know mixed couples that separated themselves from their families and grew to hate their mate as the reason. I know people that have refused to fight for the love they wanted and have regreted it since.

Count up the cost and ask yourself if it is a price your willing to pay. Most of all ask God who said." Acknowledge me in all your ways and I will direct your footsteps"
Sincerely, an over protective mom

 

[6XE]

who cares what others think? as long as your comfortable and share a common emotion with him.. .then its all set!!! Dont worry so much about others... and what they see.. but rather how you feel and how your interaction with him makes you feel... plus.. heard they were suppose to be good in bed *wink* or well... cough* well... off

 

[hockeysistah234]

My boyfriend and I are both Christians. I'm white and he's black and sometimes we clash over cultural issues. Its a struggle to combine both of our cultures together sometimes and I was wondering if anyone had any advice.

You both need to learn about one another's culture because if you are going to marry, and God put you both together, you need to tolarate what the other person's identity is.

See, the problem is that people who have problem with culture (and this includes bible believing christians) never went out of their "culture zones," which out of their nice neighborhoods to places which are "not so nice."

Do you love this guy? if you love this guy and is committed to him, you need to get used to the way African-Americans live and perhaps you may go to a trip to the inner city, maybe go on a missionary trip to experience your boyfreind's culture. It will help you open your eyes and see that why blacks act like that way.

 

[brinley45cal]

My boyfriend and I are both Christians. I'm white and he's black and sometimes we clash over cultural issues. Its a struggle to combine both of our cultures together sometimes and I was wondering if anyone had any advice.

Well you need to remmember that the onl differance between the to of your is skin color.As far as culutral differances that is an issu that must be cleared up and put to rest or the relationship wont make it.You both need to know where the other is comming fromand accept it or move on.But if its right you will know it.