My mom.,...

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

Its very annoying... my mother is very persistant in trying to set me up with my friend from church. I keep telling her it will never happen... and tonight we were all out for supper, and Shawn was there... and she kept hinting to him about it.

I have told her a million times that nothing will ever come of shawn and I.

Anyways I always have people trying to set me up with someone, and I just dont want it right now. How do you handle people who are constantly trying to set you up? And also those who costantly try and get you to set them up with someone??

Also how do you bear the dredded question "still single?" Its so stupid because I am only 20... but it seems that christians have to be married by like 21 or something?!!?

 

[YouthPastor]

When someone tried to set you up tell them no thanks! if it is repeatedle done - take them aside - and be frank with them - you are not looking - but when the time is right - God will show you who you need to date. you appreciate the help but right now you are dating God and you are fine with that.

Still single? You could always be rude and say "still Married? that would be mean though.

Tell them - you are not looking to get involved with anyone - you are too busy focusing on becoming the woman that God wants you to be that you don't have time to worry about dating.

If need be - BE FRANK.

 

[Stanfi]

I have always hated being set-up. For quite some time, I made it a goal to see how many set-ups I could get out of. I think I wiggled my way out of 7 or 8 in a row in a 3 year period. I know bizzare goal, but that's just me. Finally, people quit trying to set me up.

One reason that I didn't like it was because everyone else didn't see me with the type of person that I could see my self with. Also, when you first meet someone for the first time, and the reason that you are meeting them is a potential romantic relationship. Then I think it puts unecessary pressure on you and the other person. It just seems weird to me.

I've came to the conclusion if God wants me to have someone then he will just have to "rain one out of the sky". "Looking" for someone is to much of an emotional roller coaster, and can get very tiresome. Being set-up is just to uncomfortable.

 

[jenptcfan]

I hate fix-ups too. The most annoying type of fix-up is the kind where nobody's taken the time to realize that the only thing you and the other person have in common is being single!

I've had to be kind of rude a couple of times (after several polite conversations in which I turned down the offer). Sometimes that's just what it takes to get the point across.

Just explain how uncomfortable it makes you that someone's trying to set you up. And most importantly, don't give in to the pressure! If you agree to it once, they'll try again and again.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Still single?
Good grief! You're only 20! Single is the only way to be!
You don't need a guy. There is way too much life to live at 20 to get tied down. So I don't know what the people around are smoking.

 

[ZiSunka]

You know, they say the best way to meet a future spouse is through a mutual friend. Set-ups do work.

What would be the problem with actually going on a date with this guy to see if you might like each other?

 

[Stanfi]

You know, they say the best way to meet a future spouse is through a mutual friend. Set-ups do work.

What would be the problem with actually going on a date with this guy to see if you might like each other?

I think meeting someone through a mutual friend is different than a setup. When I think of meeting someone, I thinking of being introduced to someone with no alterior motives. Your are simply introduced to someone.

A set-up. I think more of a blind date type effect. Where you are put in a date situation (go out ot eat.. movies. etc) with someone you have never met before, and it feels awkard. It seems you typically have the auidence watching too, consiting of the person who "fixed you up".

 

[ZiSunka]

But she knows this guy. It wouldn't be a blind date.

 

[YouthPastor]

She knows this guy - a friend from church - and she does not want to get involved with him. so she knows him is friends with him and knws that that is all she wants to be is friends with him

Sounds like there is no room for a set-up. her mom just has not got the point yet.

 

[YouthPastor]

Its very annoying... my mother is very persistant in trying to set me up with my friend from church. I keep telling her it will never happen... and tonight we were all out for supper, and Shawn was there... and she kept hinting to him about it.

Sounds like mom could be creating "tension" in their freindship. If mom gets Shawn to think that "sign of the fish" wants to be more than friends and shawn asks her out and gets rejected - Shawn is going to feela little akward.

Mom needs to but out. You have told your mom you are not interested.

 

[ZiSunka]

Moms do that. It's part of being mom. They want their daughters to choose good men, and mom obviously sees something in this guy that Fish isn't aware of. Mom's have a sense about those things.

Fish ought to talk to mom and find out why she likes Shawn so much. Maybe he has good points that Fish hasn't considered.

Or if that doesn't happen, mom might realize that it upsets Fish to be set up like that.

Either way, problem solved.

The solution to interpersonal problems is never to stew in resentment, but to talk it out and resolve it in the friendliest and most respectful way.

 

[Stanfi]

Moms do that. It's part of being mom. They want their daughters to choose good men, and mom obviously sees something in this guy that Fish isn't aware of. Mom's have a sense about those things.

Mother's can be a pain. I hate that. I had one tell me "It would be best if you did not call anymore"

Needless to say, she is off my Christmas card list.


I have no idea, what exactly that has to do with this thread. I just decided to say it.

 

[wvmtnkid]

I hate fix-ups too. The most annoying type of fix-up is the kind where nobody's taken the time to realize that the only thing you and the other person have in common is being single!

This is so true! For a period of time in my life, I was Queen of the Blind Dates! I had a really ugly break up of a serious relationship and all of my friends thought the best thing to do was fix me up with someone else. And of course I went along with it because I didn't want to miss out on Mr. Right. I spent some very excruciating evenings and at the end I realized that it boiled down to all we had in common was that we were both single. I knew my friends meant well, but I decided life was too short for me to spend an evening with someone who held no interest in and for me. So I stopped the fix up/blind date cycle. Now I rarely go on one. If I do, the person fixing us up must be someone who knows me well and knows the other person well enough to know whether we have some things in common. Of course that still doesn't guarantee that things will work out, but at least I know that the evening won't be a total bust anymore.

SOTF, if you truly aren't interested in being set up, it will just take some firm "no, thanks" until people get that you mean "no, thanks". And you may just have to take it on a case by case basis. There may be a fix up down the road you just may be interestd in. But, you do have the right to say no. You are the best judge as to who you are interested in and who you are not interested in.

 

[desper84unity]

When I was your age, I NEVER wanted anybody to set me up. I would have run the other way.

If you realllly don't like, say "I like to discover my own, thank you" Worked for me. Then once and awhile a firm, "I'm not interested". That should do it.

Oh, I can remember when I was carefree, and laughed a lot, people never bothered fixing me up, because they thought I was too happy to bother. Let the joy reign!

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

WEll see aboyut Shawn
First of all he has made it very clear to me that he doesnt want anything... which is FINE because he can be the biggest jerk EVER!! HE is just cold hearted ant the funny thing is, he will admit to this!!

Anyways, there are great qualities in Shawn... the ones that moms look for.... he would be a great provider, owns his own home car etc... so of course mom wants sojmeone who can provide for her daughter. And he is such a gentleman around my mom... buit then when parents arnt around... he turns into a jerk hahaah seriously

He must have 2 personalitles... and plus he just dosent habe the drive for minsitry that I have


I hate the dating life... I just wish that all thigns dating and related to dated would drop off the plane for another 4 months!!!!!

 

[YouthPastor]

Continue going after God.

The verse that says he that finds a wife finds a good thing (or finds favor with God) I forget which.

Ever though it is refering to a wife - I think it works the same for finding a husband,

The word "find" hs the meaning if stumble. - he that stumbles upon a wife...

It is like this. You are walking down the sidewalk, our foot hits something. You look down - a $5.00 bill.

Were you looking for the $5 bill? No. You were just walking along doing what you were supposed to be doing and you "stumbled" upon the $5 bill.

Same thing with finding a spouse. Don't look for one. Focus on God - DO what he has called you to - one day - you will stumble upon your Husband.

 

[pinPoint]

finally a question i can stamp my feet on. lol

First of all, to your Mom. tell her that you are not single at the moment. if she asks whom? say Jesus. if they just laugh, then ask... whoever said I had to be with someone by 20/21. Infact where does it say that I need to be married by my current age.

Still Single?

shoot back gently, whats wrong with being single?
"""really honestly, is there a problem with being single ppl (towards single forum)"""?
ask her or whoever asks, whatever happened to waiting, patience, Trusting on God? smile and skip away like nothing happened. lol! thats all from me.

pin

 

[DaveKerwin]

if people keep trying to set you up, then you must be one heck of a catch ! If you were not, peope would not be out there telling the world about you. Eh?

wait for the right guy at the right time, it will happen, you will see

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

good one Dave hahahaha

If I am such a catch, why have I had such bad luck with guys my whole life.... hahaha

Its so funny I was talking to someone the other dasy, and I told them that I was happy being single, and htey were like... well good for you I guess.... but why?? hahaha and I was like i am just content with Jesus right now... and I know God is gonna have the right one for me... Im just letting God play match maker.... people find that one funny.... humm maybe they should try it too

 

[desi]

Maybe mother knows you better than you give her credit for.