My marriage was ordained by God--but I hate it.

[CounselorForChrist]

This is just a general statement and not directly pointed at the TC, but to many people today who are from the newer generations seem to think marriage is 100% bliss like a fairy tale. Movies and tv make it out like its the perfect thing.

But in reality its not. Of course this doesn't mean avoid marraige. What it means though is marriage takes work. There WILL be up and downs. There may be fights. Your two humans trying to coexist with each other! Its why it takes time for it to grow strong.

Now back on topic more... having babies pretty much always makes the marriage stressful. Its not the babies fault of course, but when your first married it takes alot of adjustmetn. So having kids right away makes the adjustment harder since now you won't sleep much, feel tired...etc.

I see many couples get aggrevated after a few months. Its why marriage counseling BEFORE marriage is good to make sure your ready. And of course seeking it after marriage is helpful to.

I had many prophecies before I married,

I am no way trying to doubt you had them but ALOT of us seem to think we are having prophicies when we are younger about marriage, goals....etc. By the time we are older we often realize we had dreams, not prophicies. Its hard to seperate the two often times since we really want what we see to be true. Lets not forget also says don't make plans and assume thats how life will be because God knows our real plans.

When I met this girl when I was 26, I said to everyone up and down she is the girl I dreamed about. THe one God told me was for me. Everyone who was older and wiser then me told me to be careful about calling something a prophecy. They even told me not to marry this girl. Well after a year she left me which was for the best because turns out she wasn't really a christian and had some major issues going on.

After that I realized maybe my prophicies were instead hopes and dreams. Well fast forward to Dec, 2011. I met this woman from the phillipines. I can't explain the feelings we had for each other. We started a relationship pretty quick. But before I went rushing into it my sister in Christ told me to fast. Something I never did before.

While fasting I seen things, some having to do with her, others having to do with some other things. I was in tears after fasting because I seen confirmation of us being together and a future that I was amazed at because I am a shy guy so I would have never seen myself doing what it showed. But I have faith God will guide us to what he shown us. So far everything has been answered and perfect mostly. We get married this Dec!

Sorry for the ramble. Anyways my point was being in love can make us blind. Its why its important to be 100% sure the person we are marrying is right for us because this is why many marry very young the get divorces.

Obviously you are married now though, best you can do is work through it, get marriage counseuling and pray God strengthens you both! I am blessed because my fiance understands I love kids but don't really want them because its to ahrd for me to handle with my disabilities. I'm suprised to see a woman that does not want any.

I will say it does sound like your hubby is a bit selfish. I mean I don't care about birthdays and gifts much because every day is a gift. But I try not to forget my fiances birthday, anniversaries...etc. If anything I'll do anything to make her happy over my own needs. Which happens to be how she is too.

Again marriage counseling is needed. Its good so that you both can openly talk about how you feel and then be told what needs to be done. It opens peoples eyes to how thing are and how things should be.

 

[fuji]

I haven't gotten a good night's sleep since my husband moved in, except the one night he slept on the couch.

I dont know what to day, either you did not live together before marriage and you like having a bed all to yourself. Or you flat out don't like having sex with your husband.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

I dont know what to day, either you did not live together before marriage and you like having a bed all to yourself. Or you flat out don't like having sex with your husband.

I didn't even realize she said that. Hmm. Bed issues do arise, same as sex issues do. I have no problem sharing a bed because its romantic and I sleep better. I don't think I could sleep desperate from my loved one.

This is all the more reason to see a marriage counselour. It seems like you may both have some issues to work out. I say that not in a mean way of course.

 

[vortigen84]

This is all the more reason to see a marriage counselour. It seems like you may both have some issues to work out. I say that not in a mean way of course.

I find it interesting that a marriage built on supposed prophesies is off to such a rocky start.

 

[briareos]

He should have celebrated your birthday, he shouldnt play video games all day long and he shouldn't complain all the time if it bothers you.

Don't take all the blame for this or feel that your being selfish and stupid. Trust your instincts, your incredibly upset and stressed and that means something really IS wrong and it's not that your selfish.

I'm sure that because you love him you naturally feel like it couldn't be his fault, but he is human, he will make mistakes, it doesn't mean hes bad or evil but some of this is his fault.

He needs to make some changes, you both probably do. Get some marriage counselings.

I think you both should talk and promise to honor two requests from each other maybe your requests would he only plays video games on the weekend and he stop complaining about his job and visa versa.

I was a terrible husband to my ex-wife, I played video games too much, I didn't pay attention to her, I didn't listen to her and I couldn't control myself... I thought that because I CARED for her it meant that I loved her as I should but that was far from true... after about 3 years our marriage became a nightmare for her and she divorced me, she wasn't perfect either but I don't blame her at all for wanting a new life away from me. She changed, she became a terrible woman to live with. I look back to our early years, she was so happy and full of love for me, she did anything for me... and after 3 years it was too late, our marriage was broken so badly.

Don't let it stay this way for years, it will damage you more than you know.

 

[GraceLoveHope]

Sorry to bring this up again so late. I work a lot and only have the opportunity to use the computer a couple times a week.

I appreciate everyone's advice, but the biggest problem facing us and the source of almost all our strife is that I don't want the baby. At all. That's why I was using 2 forms of birth control when it was conceived.

My girl friend, the only one who knows besides my husband, keeps telling me that will change, but the more time goes on, the more I resent the baby. I hate what it's doing to my marriage and I wish it wasn't here at all. I can't imagine birth changing that. I feel so torn and upset that my child isn't going to have a mother who loves it. I can't even stand to think about losing it, how it would know how I felt about it when it's in heaven, and there's no changing it at that point.

I want to give it away but my husband won't let me. I know so many people that go through infertility and try for years and years to have children, and it just makes me feel even worse for being so ungrateful.

I work full-time and then some and I'm exhausted. Soon, I have to tell my family and they are not going to be supportive.

I just don't know what to do and really don't understand God's plan in any of this, and it's hard to sit back and trust in His plan when every day, my child doesn't have a mother.

 

[paul1149]

Where God guides, He supplies wisdom and peace (James 3.17-18). Presumably you had these when you felt His leading and accordingly decided to marry.

Now it's a question of tapping back into that wisdom and peace. If He has guided you here, He will provide for you here. It sounds like the both of you are up against a massive training and adjustment period. That's not going to be easy, but it will be doable in Him. You will have to seriously rely on His spirit to do it (not by might...), and doing so together, such as in prayer together, will be an enormous benefit.

 

[Pal Handy]

Sorry to bring this up again so late. I work a lot and only have the opportunity to use the computer a couple times a week.

I appreciate everyone's advice, but the biggest problem facing us and the source of almost all our strife is that I don't want the baby. At all. That's why I was using 2 forms of birth control when it was conceived.

My girl friend, the only one who knows besides my husband, keeps telling me that will change, but the more time goes on, the more I resent the baby. I hate what it's doing to my marriage and I wish it wasn't here at all. I can't imagine birth changing that. I feel so torn and upset that my child isn't going to have a mother who loves it. I can't even stand to think about losing it, how it would know how I felt about it when it's in heaven, and there's no changing it at that point.

I want to give it away but my husband won't let me. I know so many people that go through infertility and try for years and years to have children, and it just makes me feel even worse for being so ungrateful.

I work full-time and then some and I'm exhausted. Soon, I have to tell my family and they are not going to be supportive.

I just don't know what to do and really don't understand God's plan in any of this, and it's hard to sit back and trust in His plan when every day, my child doesn't have a mother.

Get some counseling from your pastor and your doctor.

Many times a woman who is pregnant can be so out of sorts
because of the hormone changes in her body that she can have such
thoughts of rejection toward her child.

Pre-partum Depression:
Prepartum Depressive Symptoms Correlate Positively with C-Reactive Protein Levels and Negatively with Tryptophan Levels: A Preliminary Report
Pre-partum depression « Hormonal Pregnant Woman


Bonding with your baby before birth:
How to bond with your unborn baby on MedicineNet.com

7 Ways to Bond with Your Preborn Baby | Ask Dr. Sears®

 

[Shulamite7]

Sorry to bring this up again so late. I work a lot and only have the opportunity to use the computer a couple times a week.

I appreciate everyone's advice, but the biggest problem facing us and the source of almost all our strife is that I don't want the baby. At all. That's why I was using 2 forms of birth control when it was conceived.

My girl friend, the only one who knows besides my husband, keeps telling me that will change, but the more time goes on, the more I resent the baby. I hate what it's doing to my marriage and I wish it wasn't here at all. I can't imagine birth changing that. I feel so torn and upset that my child isn't going to have a mother who loves it. I can't even stand to think about losing it, how it would know how I felt about it when it's in heaven, and there's no changing it at that point.

I want to give it away but my husband won't let me. I know so many people that go through infertility and try for years and years to have children, and it just makes me feel even worse for being so ungrateful.

I work full-time and then some and I'm exhausted. Soon, I have to tell my family and they are not going to be supportive.

I just don't know what to do and really don't understand God's plan in any of this, and it's hard to sit back and trust in His plan when every day, my child doesn't have a mother.

I am really, truly sorry to hear of your plight. I guess your pregnancy happened too soon in your marriage and you were not quiet prepared for it. But to try to abort the baby is cold blooded murder and you will be held responsible for it. You will have to answer your creator someday. Imagine if your mother had done that when she conceived you. You wouldn't be here now. God is the creator. He is the only One who has the right to give life and take life. Don't rebel against God. The consequences will be disastrous. I heard a prophecy by John Paul Jackson recently, where he said that the next president of America destined to become the President by God cannot become the president. The reason is that he was aborted when he was conceived in 1970. Now this may or may not be the truth, but imagine if some day this child you were planning to get rid of will actually bring you glory!

Maybe after you give birth to this child, you can have your parents take care of it a bit so that you can relax. Grandparents just loooove their grandchildren. Then you don't have to feel too guilty that its not loved by you because your parents will give it plenty of love and you can imitate your parents in that area by watching them. When you see your innocent baby's smile and its unconditional love for you and angelic laughter, you will never hate it again. Instead you will feel bad for wanting to get rid of it. Its first word, first steps, all of it will bring a lot of joy and pleasure to you.

Just after giving birth, it might be a little difficult for you. But be patient because that phase will pass away soon. Some one wrote here that these feelings arise due to hormonal changes during pregnancy. That is very true and I have read of other women who went through the same things and couldn't love their baby after they were born. So you don't have to feel too guilty about it. But pray to the Lord for a change of mind and help you to overcome this problem. I will pray for you too. But you will have to love your child because children are God's gift to us.

 

[Goodbook]

any reason why you don't want the baby? Did you discuss this with your husband before you got married about children? What do you mean you hate what it is doing to your marriage? You said something about 'dreams to give up' can you explain. Can you not take maternity leave from work? is it just a control issue..that everything has to be your way?

sorry for all the questions but its hard to know or give any good advice without really knowing the situation. I mean, people get married, they love each other, they have babies, it isn't hard to do the maths, that's the way marriage is designed isn't it? God doesn't always give us what we want, but what what we need. Have you thought about your child, what you would say to him/her if he or she asked you years later why they were given away? And why are you saying 'it will be in heaven'. I mean, what does that mean...? Losing it..how can you 'lose' a baby?

What about your own parents, were you adopted yourself? Did they have a happy marriage? Just seeing if there's a pattern here.

 

[seeingeyes]

I appreciate everyone's advice, but the biggest problem facing us and the source of almost all our strife is that I don't want the baby. At all. That's why I was using 2 forms of birth control when it was conceived.

My girl friend, the only one who knows besides my husband, keeps telling me that will change, but the more time goes on, the more I resent the baby. I hate what it's doing to my marriage and I wish it wasn't here at all. I can't imagine birth changing that. I feel so torn and upset that my child isn't going to have a mother who loves it. I can't even stand to think about losing it, how it would know how I felt about it when it's in heaven, and there's no changing it at that point.

Surprise pregnancies are no fun at all. They are a waking nightmare. I've been there and done that, sister. I know how awful it is to pray every day for a miscarriage.

But that surprise pregnancy of horribleness ended with a squalling little purple alien thing that I fell absolutely head over heels in love with the first time I saw him. What you will feel for that child is amazing. It's unprecedented. It's a little crazy, actually. But you will fall in love with that moist, ugly little creature no matter what else is going on with your husband. Believe me. Oxytocin is a helluva hormone.

So don't be too hard on yourself. Your mind and body and spirit are going through a lot right now. Be honest with your Father in heaven. Tell him all these things that you are feeling. Don't try to pretty-up the mess that you are, just keep it real with Him. He knows and, yes, He cares, too. He'll show you.

God bless you and keep you, sister.

 

[GraceLoveHope]

Thanks again for all your help. God bless you all!

I think it's just hard to get used to it all. I knew that adjusting to marriage would be hard, especially since my husband and I have each lived alone for many years, and are both quite stubborn. Having someone else in my home, my bed, and my bank account has been a struggle, and we knew it would be a struggle. Adjusting to being a sexually active married woman has been kind of weird, too. And just when we felt things were starting to iron out and were kind of used to things, well... now I'm pregnant, feeling like a crazy pregnant person, totally lost sex drive so soon after being married, worried about having a miscarriage every day because of the problems I'm having with the pregnancy, and absolutely exhausted and uncomfortable.

What's worse, is my girl friend, who has a baby who is reaching that really obnoxious phase where he just screams MOOOOM! and puts stuff in his mouth all day, keeps signing me up for birth groups where all the women are absolutely overjoyed to feel as crummy as I do, and all these newsletters for expectant women with advice like "write a letter to your baby to read to him when he's a kid to tell him how excited you are..." uh... no. These things just make me feel even more ungrateful and inadequate. I've asked her to stop, but the lists I'm canceling out are still showing up in my work mail every day.

To whoever is trying to talk me out of an abortion, I really don't understand, because I never mentioned that, and wouldn't even do it if I were single. If I weren't married, or if my husband supported it, I would love to consider adoption, because it brings blessings to everyone involved. I hope you don't consider the two one in the same, because a woman who gives up her child to give someone else the chance of making a dream come true is a beautiful thing.

Telling my family is really heavy on my mind. I can't button my pants any more, but after 2 threatened miscarriage, haven't been given an ultrasound yet to see if it's alive. I'm afraid they're going to find out if I wait much longer. Either way, my family is not going to be supportive. They live extravagently and think we're broke, because we are frugal. I don't want to tell them if I don't have to because I don't want to hear them tell me about how we're sooooooo irresponsible because my birth control failed and how we should have an abortion and tell me about all the things I'm already worried about and all that fun stuff.

Safe to say, we don't have parents that are going to help us after the baby is born. The only one who is going to help is my husband, and possibly my elderly grandmother, because she loooves babies.

I have to find a new doctor but after taking a honeymoon a couple months ago, don't have enough benefit time left to shop around, or take time off work to rest. I am disappointed with the short amount of maternity leave offered in the US, and feel guilty that I'm going to have to leave such a little baby with a sitter for 45-55 hours a week, don't even know how we are going to find someone to watch baby... don't know how we're going to be able to continue to save for a home with a quarter of our income going to child care and no, we don't qualify for assistance and no, we can't even pay our bills on one income. Part of the reason we were saving so much money was so that when we did have children, we wouldn't have to worry about immediately going back to work full-time with a 3 or 4 week old baby in the house.

It's just a lot to deal with and pay for. I really wished I could take some time to focus on getting used to having a big stinky man in the house before worrying about a little stinky baby being here, too.

 

[jamrog74]

GraceLoveHope,
I have been told by some the first year of marriage is perhaps the hardest because you have to adjust to living together and all the "stinkiness" you seem to be referring to. A friend of mine had an unexpected pregnancy in their marriage and he was a student and his wife did not work. Somehow they were able to work together, plan together and get advice from relatives who would care about their child. Even though the mother did not plan on getting pregnant she loves her child a great deal. They are in a happy place now even though dealing with a child at a young age is a difficult task.
I have not read all the postings but I presume that you have discussed most of your feelings with your husband before posting on a public forum, if not then you need to, if you have then you need to talk to a marriage counselor. Pray for God's blessing and use the time you have left in the pregnancy assuming there are no complications for you and your husband to bond and make plans for when the baby arrives. If message that you and your husband is getting from God is that you should give the child up for adoption then so be it.
May the Lord be with you through this difficult time and always.

 

[Avniel]

Surprise pregnancies are no fun at all. They are a waking nightmare. I've been there and done that, sister. I know how awful it is to pray every day for a miscarriage.

But that surprise pregnancy of horribleness ended with a squalling little purple alien thing that I fell absolutely head over heels in love with the first time I saw him. What you will feel for that child is amazing. It's unprecedented. It's a little crazy, actually. But you will fall in love with that moist, ugly little creature no matter what else is going on with your husband. Believe me. Oxytocin is a helluva hormone.

So don't be too hard on yourself. Your mind and body and spirit are going through a lot right now. Be honest with your Father in heaven. Tell him all these things that you are feeling. Don't try to pretty-up the mess that you are, just keep it real with Him. He knows and, yes, He cares, too. He'll show you.

God bless you and keep you, sister.

That Dave Chappell line had me dying the way you used it

10 for humor
10 for creative use
10 for factual use of the phrase

 

[seeingeyes]

That Dave Chappell line had me dying the way you used it

10 for humor
10 for creative use
10 for factual use of the phrase

lol I didn't realize I was plagiarizing. Either great minds think alike, or I've seen more Chappell shows than I can remember. Good catch.

 

[seeingeyes]

Thanks again for all your help. God bless you all!

I think it's just hard to get used to it all. I knew that adjusting to marriage would be hard, especially since my husband and I have each lived alone for many years, and are both quite stubborn. Having someone else in my home, my bed, and my bank account has been a struggle, and we knew it would be a struggle. Adjusting to being a sexually active married woman has been kind of weird, too. And just when we felt things were starting to iron out and were kind of used to things, well... now I'm pregnant, feeling like a crazy pregnant person, totally lost sex drive so soon after being married, worried about having a miscarriage every day because of the problems I'm having with the pregnancy, and absolutely exhausted and uncomfortable.

What's worse, is my girl friend, who has a baby who is reaching that really obnoxious phase where he just screams MOOOOM! and puts stuff in his mouth all day, keeps signing me up for birth groups where all the women are absolutely overjoyed to feel as crummy as I do, and all these newsletters for expectant women with advice like "write a letter to your baby to read to him when he's a kid to tell him how excited you are..." uh... no. These things just make me feel even more ungrateful and inadequate. I've asked her to stop, but the lists I'm canceling out are still showing up in my work mail every day.

To whoever is trying to talk me out of an abortion, I really don't understand, because I never mentioned that, and wouldn't even do it if I were single. If I weren't married, or if my husband supported it, I would love to consider adoption, because it brings blessings to everyone involved. I hope you don't consider the two one in the same, because a woman who gives up her child to give someone else the chance of making a dream come true is a beautiful thing.

Telling my family is really heavy on my mind. I can't button my pants any more, but after 2 threatened miscarriage, haven't been given an ultrasound yet to see if it's alive. I'm afraid they're going to find out if I wait much longer. Either way, my family is not going to be supportive. They live extravagently and think we're broke, because we are frugal. I don't want to tell them if I don't have to because I don't want to hear them tell me about how we're sooooooo irresponsible because my birth control failed and how we should have an abortion and tell me about all the things I'm already worried about and all that fun stuff.

Safe to say, we don't have parents that are going to help us after the baby is born. The only one who is going to help is my husband, and possibly my elderly grandmother, because she loooves babies.

I have to find a new doctor but after taking a honeymoon a couple months ago, don't have enough benefit time left to shop around, or take time off work to rest. I am disappointed with the short amount of maternity leave offered in the US, and feel guilty that I'm going to have to leave such a little baby with a sitter for 45-55 hours a week, don't even know how we are going to find someone to watch baby... don't know how we're going to be able to continue to save for a home with a quarter of our income going to child care and no, we don't qualify for assistance and no, we can't even pay our bills on one income. Part of the reason we were saving so much money was so that when we did have children, we wouldn't have to worry about immediately going back to work full-time with a 3 or 4 week old baby in the house.

It's just a lot to deal with and pay for. I really wished I could take some time to focus on getting used to having a big stinky man in the house before worrying about a little stinky baby being here, too.

I can't quite tell, but are you saying that you've had two miscarriages? Have the two of you been trying for a baby or just leaving the door open?

 

[Goodbook]

Hey. Just want to let you know I've seen men change around babies..become more responsible, mature etc. Sometimes we woman just have to stop controlling everything and let men just take the lead. Don't berate the man just say to him you can only focus on one thing (nurturing the baby) and want to rest easy knowing he can take care of everything. He just needs to step up to the plate, and prove what a good father he can be. Praise him for the little things he does..it seems with men they just hunger after words of affirmation. The fact that you are writing to us and calling him 'stinky' behind his back, leads me to think you aren't actually singing his praises at home. The worst thing is men can be defeated by words, and discoruaged. He won't change if you have this attitude in you heart.

Only thing is, you mentioned 'my home' 'my bank account'. Seems to me a lot of worry, that you need to go to God for. Start dedicating everything to him, not only your marriage, but your time, your bank account, your home. Nothing we have is ours really...our lives are His. It just sounds like you have been taking way to much on, as for the one income thing..well, this is just my opinion, don't have to take it, but it is much better to be on one income and spend that precious time bonding with your baby than on two incomes and spend half of that on a stranger to bond with the baby. Babies don't notice if the bills late or there's only 1 bedroom, or what the colour of the house is, or even if you own it- they just care about YOU the most important person in their world.

You probably don't feel like praising anyone right now, much less your husband, but praise is something we learn, it doesn't come naturally to us. But it's what God MOST likes to hear, seeing he went to all that trouble to deliver the Israelites out of Egypt, remmeber they still complained? they forgot the wonderful miracles~ think of all the trouble your man meant to woo you and win our heart, and just keep remembering that, and you can get through the hard times.

In deuteronomy there's someof God's laws about marriage, it does say in there the first year of marriage a man should dedicate to his wife and delight in her, not go to work or anything, just spend that time getting to really know her. I wish I knew how they lived in those days, with no worry about buying houses etc.

 

[Armistead14]

It sounds to me neither of you were ready or understood marriage. Marriage is about being mentally prepared as much as emotionally. Someone in church declaring your ready is the last thing I would trust.

That being said, you're in it now and with a baby. Children will change your life totally, your world will no longer revolve around your life.

Hopefully you two will adjust after this period of "marriage shock" is over.

 

[Aijalon]

Sounds like my ex-husband. Baaad flash-backs there. I could have written that back in '05.

The biggest thing you have to realize right now is that these are not "stupid, selfish feelings". They are REAL feelings and you need not dismiss them.

The only thing I'll say other than that is "marriage counseling". You need it if the relationship is going to survive. A baby does not IMPROVE a bad relationship or relationship problems.. it makes it a thousand times worse, a thousand times over.

Straight to marriage counseling, that's all there is to it.

YES.

It sounds like he is immature. Many young men are addicted to video games. I have three kids and I play video games too, but not that often anymore.

Here are some things to take your minds off of distractions and connect with each other.

• Go on daily walks around the neighborhood. It is good for you health and holding hands lowers your blood pressure (prooven).
• Instead of video games, watch a movie together.
• Ask him to build something memorable for the baby, like a crib, and offer to help with it.
• Go shopping for deals on baby clothes, or go to garage sales together to look for baby stuff.
• Seek out a couple to have dinner with and try to connect with some people who have young children and have recently been through the newlywed stage of life.

Here is a little tip.

If you ask your husband for something and he groans or moans or even ignores you... don't get mad. Just ask again in a few minutes. Do this a couple of times. Each time focus on makeing the request sweeter and and nicer, until the point where you appear to be acting like a little girl asking a daddy. (this might make you feel silly, but that's okay because it will make him feel silly too). Go all the way to the point of begging with a baby voice if you have to and see how he reacts (don't get on your knees or act out, just use your voice) It might also help if you think of both of you as little kids, and speak to each other that way to make it harder to ignore (ie. speak to him as if he were a cute little boy you wanted to hug)

Play with his hair and tease him while he plays games. (giggle in his ear)

If he get's really mad at you for these things, clearly don't do it, but would be a sign of real immaturity. He should hopefully realize the fun in teasing each other and tease you back. Flirt with him this way while he's doing things that you don't like.

It seems crazy. Just try it.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

I've never understood men who act like the marriage/wife is a strain on them. Maybe my parents were exceptional when it came to teaching me how to be a good husband but I would love to do anything with my soon to be wife.

I've heard an example online from many married christian women who said they have litearlyl stood naked in front of the tv (to get the husbands attention) while they play games and said "Hey hunny!" and the men just don't even look at them (or sometimes do) and say "Can you move, your blocking the tv!". Really?!? >.<

What does it take for a man to be with the person he married lol. I find doing chores, shopping, talking...etc with my loved one wonderful and marraige building. I seeriously don't understand why other men just find it annoying. THis is probably why they say men take longer to mature then women.

When my fiance seees on facebook I posted flowers for her, left her a love poem I made, left her a private message saying how beautiful and wonderful she is....etc she loves it. She thinks I am very special and deeply romantic. I even will say things like "Mmm, I can see us snuggiling (holding each other or holding hands...etc) at the beach as we watch the sunset!" She just giggles like a school girl and blushes (well when we use Skype). I belong in the 50s it seems when it comes to being a deeply mushy teddy bear romantic. lol