My husband wants to buy a gun and I'm terrified of them. How do I get over my fear?

Luke Paul

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My husband wants to buy a gun. We're planning on going shopping for one tomorrow after getting the paperwork in order. This is something we've been discussing for a good 6 months.

In Dec last year we went for training, and we both learned how to safely use, maintain and shoot a pistol and a shotgun. I learned how they work and how they're safe tools. Even though I've been through training, I still feel sick just thinking about owning one. I am terrified that my husband will use his and shoot someone and I don't want that to happen. He also wants me to get one too, and for us to go shooting on a regular (monthly) basis.

I understand that my fear is from ignorance. I'm afraid of the unknown. I know that if I take the time to learn and shoot on a regular basis I can overcome this fear. I am doing my best to submit to my husband in this regard (as with all of our marriage).

My real concern is that the bible teaches us not to murder. I don't understand the logic behind owning something for the sole purpose of killing someone else. And practising doing so to that end. I understand that many of the people here carry and shoot as a hobby. Could you help me understand your reasoning behind doing so, so that I can better come to terms with my husband's desire to get a firearm too?
I served in the Army 6 + years and received tactical and safehandling training with the pistol and rifle. besides the mental psychological
Brainwashing on killing for country doctrine,
the physical hands on training - safe operation
Proper functionality, demonstrating mental
Protocols, and following all federal/ state laws.
With that said, been discharged for 17+ years
And never possessed a firearm until 5 months
Ago.I Had the same fear of potential shooting senerios, ultimately which it would be a self- defence shooting. With my practical experience
And positive perception of safe carry, safe range shooting. I can possess A firearm without Thinking of potential shooting Senarios that restrict my (2 Amd) Right.
Hopefully you can decide whats best, that you
Can Either carry or not. Good luck.
 
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D2wing

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While guns are indeed designed to kill most are not used for that purpose. Many are used for hunting, but in this day and age the majority are used for recreational shooting. Most active gun owners use their guns for target practice, plinking and shooting games and competition. Also for a sense of security in case their home is invaded. Another thing is that gun ownership by itself is a proven deterrent to crime. Also some people just like guns as objects to admire. Most guns are not shot very often and most probably are just kept in a safe or display case and maybe cleaned and oiled yearly.
Only a small population of criminals have guns for the purpose of murder.
I do understand a reluctance to own or use guns. This is a quandary for people Christian or not. Especially for Christians. We are not under the law and I am very sure God does not forbid Christian from being soldiers or policemen. I hope you learn to overcome your fear and learn to enjoy guns. I think for your husbands sake you should try. If after a good amount of time and experience you still object to being a shooter you should discuss this with your husband. Just my opinion.
 
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HawgWyld

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My real concern is that the bible teaches us not to murder. I don't understand the logic behind owning something for the sole purpose of killing someone else. And practising doing so to that end. I understand that many of the people here carry and shoot as a hobby. Could you help me understand your reasoning behind doing so, so that I can better come to terms with my husband's desire to get a firearm too?

If someone has a moral objection to carrying a firearm, I'm not comfortable with trying to talk them out of that. I know plenty of people who absolutely will not carry a firearm because they won't take another life. I respect and appreciate that view.

Meanwhile, I carry a pocket .380 ACP daily and almost always have access to more substantial pistols for defensive reasons. I believe self-defense is a valid reason to own a firearm, both legally and morally.
 
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marineimaging

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How do you interpret Matthew 5:38-48?
Here he is speaking to those following old laws and pointing out how God intended them to be interpreted and carried out. The persons he is referring to are those like the Muslims toward the Christians, not a man filled with murder in his heart trying to kill you or your family. He is not talking about he soldier on the battlefield, but the one in court who has something against you. And he says to meet adversity caused by others with love. He is NOT talking about a man who crawls through my daughter's window at 3am to rape. He is not talking about the thug who comes out of a dark alley where he sat for hours waiting for the right victim. He is talking about the Old Testament rituals of taking meeting out justice without compassion.
 
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marineimaging

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My wife says that she was raised around them so she never had a fear of them. But not so for everybody of course. I contend that we have been taught from Kindergarten to fear them by a society that wants socialism so bad it is ready to give up freedom and call it safety. Several years ago a coworker told me her husband and son were avid hunters but she was deathly afraid of them. Her husband had tried to teach her but she was just in true terror of them. I took advantage of a range day picnic scheduled as a reward for our hard work. On the day before we met at the range I sat down with her over lunch and showed her a book of guns. Historical and modern. She was at first shocked there were so many, then she became enthralled at some of the history of guns. Then I sat her down and took the gun apart all the way to it's pieces. Explained each part to her. Then put it back together. I would ask her as I was doing so what she recalled about this piece or that group. Then I showed her pictures and hands-on components of bullets. I poured the powder into a lid and had her light it. I then showed her videos of fires engulfing a truck full of ammo. Firefighters were approaching it in full bunker while the rounds were going off and the bullets were just bouncing off their bunkers because of the physics of bullets. Then we went to the range. I had asked her to bring her husband. We talked for a bit to get comfortable and then I asked him to leave until we called. Through my talk I told him that I was going to be like a drill instructor with her and didn't want him distracting us. He agreed and left for the day. The first thing I did was loaded a gun, pointed it downrange and fired at the berm. I then turned and said, so that you can see it is loaded. I then had her hold it the proper way, pointed down range, finger off the trigger. I had her hold it for a full minute. Then told her to sit it down pointed down range. Pick it up, aim at the target. Hold. Put it down. Pick it up, aim, hold for two minutes. Sit it down. Question: Now Amy, how many times did the gun go off? Ans: None. Qstn: And why was that? Ans: Because I did not pull the trigger. And what makes the gun shoot? Ans: Because I control it, I want it to shoot, and because I pull the trigger. Then we went on to shooting the targets. When we finished for the day she was bouncing up and down and smiling and said, "Can I Please take this target home to show my husband and especially my son?" "He said I wouldn't make it past the first 5 minutes." It has been years and I still get the reward of an occasional note from her thanking me for taking the time with her.
 
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Kaneakua

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My husband wants to buy a gun. We're planning on going shopping for one tomorrow after getting the paperwork in order. This is something we've been discussing for a good 6 months.

In Dec last year we went for training, and we both learned how to safely use, maintain and shoot a pistol and a shotgun. I learned how they work and how they're safe tools. Even though I've been through training, I still feel sick just thinking about owning one. I am terrified that my husband will use his and shoot someone and I don't want that to happen. He also wants me to get one too, and for us to go shooting on a regular (monthly) basis.

I understand that my fear is from ignorance. I'm afraid of the unknown. I know that if I take the time to learn and shoot on a regular basis I can overcome this fear. I am doing my best to submit to my husband in this regard (as with all of our marriage).

My real concern is that the bible teaches us not to murder. I don't understand the logic behind owning something for the sole purpose of killing someone else. And practising doing so to that end. I understand that many of the people here carry and shoot as a hobby. Could you help me understand your reasoning behind doing so, so that I can better come to terms with my husband's desire to get a firearm too?

Please hear my heart as I am not judg you but simply making the observation that it not the gun that you don't trust, you don't trust your husband with the use of that gun. If that mistrust is rooted in reality then you have reason for concern. If your husband is trustworthy with firearms then your concern is unwarranted. A husband is given the responsibility of providing for his family in every area of need they have. (Phil.5:8 I think.) The proper use of any weapon is to protect us from an enemy. Training helps protect us from ourselves. If someone is immature or uncontrolled, a gun is an extreme liability and they shouldn't have one available in times of stress. However, if anyone has a gun they should train as much as possible both in physical proficiency and in mental attitude and conditioning. The Word commands us to "Stop being afraid" (literal translation) which means that we can do that. Then act scriptural out of peace that comes from knowing God's will. Some people shouldn't own spoons because they might use it to destroy themselves with food. More people die from obesity than from accidental gunshots. Spoons are much more dangerous!!
 
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marineimaging

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It certainly seems that I misunderstood the issue here. You know all the right things to say. It seems the issue is trust. As for me - my gun and my training and my practicing are NOT for murder. I am not going to MURDER anybody. I will even pray that I don't ever have to kill a bad guy. Ever. But if a man is holding a gun on my wife, intent or harm of any kind, I will do what I have to do in order to stop him from doing so. Anything less is cowardice. That is my justification when I can't find any other reason.
 
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My husband wants to buy a gun. We're planning on going shopping for one tomorrow after getting the paperwork in order. This is something we've been discussing for a good 6 months.

In Dec last year we went for training, and we both learned how to safely use, maintain and shoot a pistol and a shotgun. I learned how they work and how they're safe tools. Even though I've been through training, I still feel sick just thinking about owning one. I am terrified that my husband will use his and shoot someone and I don't want that to happen. He also wants me to get one too, and for us to go shooting on a regular (monthly) basis.

I understand that my fear is from ignorance. I'm afraid of the unknown. I know that if I take the time to learn and shoot on a regular basis I can overcome this fear. I am doing my best to submit to my husband in this regard (as with all of our marriage).

My real concern is that the bible teaches us not to murder. I don't understand the logic behind owning something for the sole purpose of killing someone else. And practising doing so to that end. I understand that many of the people here carry and shoot as a hobby. Could you help me understand your reasoning behind doing so, so that I can better come to terms with my husband's desire to get a firearm too?
About the "thou shalt not kill(murder)" commandment. There is a MAJOR difference between killing in the defense of your own life, and killing with malicious intent. In the end it doesn't matter at all what people may tell you regarding their opinions on the matter. The only thoughts that are important are those between you and the Lord. Nothing you ever do in your life should be based solely upon what others may say to you. Only what you hold as truth in your heart between you and the Lord is how the Son of Man will see it.
Like I said, never let the deciding factor in what you believe or choose to do be because of what someone "tells" you to do. Do only as you know is good and righteous in your heart. With that said, I believe if you lose your life by refusing to take anothers, the Lord will look with love and great favor when you stand before Him. I decided long ago that I will not take anothers life in defense of my own. But that is not what the true challenge is; it is whether you would take the life of others in defense of the lives of those you love. Like a spouse, a child, a mother, a father, a sister, or anyone else you love. That is the true challenge I would face. I know though that if I do not choose to kill in defense of their lives, that they will be with My eternal Father in Heaven.
 
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marineimaging

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And that is the question every good, God fearing soldier faces every day in battle. "Can I.." up until it happens then you know the answer. But to say not to listen to anybody else just pretty much puts a lock on Christian Forums since folks come here seeking answers and options. I am thankful that others have spoke up because it brought back something I had forgotten.
 
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marineimaging

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How do you interpret Matthew 5:38-48?
If you look at life in the Middle East today you see what Jesus meant. The wars and strife going on are due to a hatred of each other solely because of who or what someone was born into. Jesus wanted the tribes of Abraham's children to come together as they were all God's children. Jesus gave this message to Assad and his military leaders killing the people he wants out of Syria and to the Syrians and to those who support Assad as well.

Remember that in a confrontation between you and another in the street there are TWO people. Each of you have a gun pointed at the other. Did YOU go looking for someone to rob today? Is the criminal going to give you a chance to call him to Christ? Do you WANT to shoot him or do you want to lead him to Christ? Does he care that shooting you will leave your children or parents crying a in anguish, and alone? Christ's message is to both of you and if you are already caring and wanting the incident to end amiably - then you have heard Christ. But has the criminal heard Christ? Will the criminal listen? If he stops, lowers his gun, and says I don't want to do this but my family is hungry, are you going to shoot him anyway? Are you going to give him the message from Christ if you see an opportunity? If he has a tear in his eye and goes to his knees asking for forgiveness are you going to put the gun away or are you going to shoot him anyway? Me, I will put my gun away and go to him, take his gun, and do what I can to help him. I heard Christ through Matthew.

That is how I interpret Matthew 5:38. In that I am going to carry a gun because I have a responsibility to come home and support my family and lead others to Christ then I can not allow a criminal to take me away from them. With carrying that gun I am going to take classes, I am going to take the responsibility to be good with it and not careless. I am going to make sure that I am competent to carry it. I am going to insure that when I aim it I am calm and decisive and once I have determined that the criminal in front of me is NOt going to come to Christ then I must do what I must do. I will do my best to insure I do it with point blank accuracy and not hit an innocent person behind them.
 
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marineimaging

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Jesus never asked any women to submit to their husbands.
How does that answer this persons question? God breathed His Word into the Bible and gave it all to us through the disciples, through Paul, through vision, and through His followers. Stanria is quite aware of where we all stand with God. She is not having problems with that. She is having problems with trusting herself and her husband when it comes to owning a gun.
 
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